A/N:
 Ok, reading this again almost makes me as sad as the day I wrote this. Although after completely ME3, I have to say I cried for almost 15 minutes *Spoiler* after my Legion died *Spoiler*. Although I hope I bring enough humanity and change in his character I do say he is still my second favorite character even without it.

Also, I noticed some awkwardness in the letter from Garrus's father. If it still seems off I am sorry. I also would like to comment that you can read a small conversation between Garrus and his father on the Shadow Broker's ship in ME2 about his mother but in ME3 he does not mention her at all when you ask about his family that is still on Palaven. Just his father and sister. I am not sure what I had originally planed for this fic but I believe it is safe to assume that either the treatments she was reviving failed or she is in no place to be able to have full contact with everyone else.

Chapter 11

It is Ok to Feel

Garrus stared at the screen that displayed a letter from his father. He knew he had time to read it slowly. There were still some crewmembers on the Citadel who were hurrying to get back to the ship. Jane was upset enough at EDI and Legion that she barely noticed the small laps in procedures. They had promptly gone up to their room where Jane shook wildly in his arms until she fell asleep. He had almost expected tears; instead she had not said a word after ordering EDI to set a course toward Ceastus. Maybe she knew it was too early to know what was going to happen, but she was still frightened. Garrus was not even sure how he would feel if the Geth did not make it.

He did not want to think about such unhappy thoughts so he had checked his messages instead. Legion had been able to let them send messages to their parents with Geth encryptions so that it would not be intercepted and decoded as easily. So they were able to tell them what was going on in some detail. That did not mean that they would be able to do so on their side.

Garrus's father seemed genuinely happy enough about the unexpected news and letter, telling him that they needed to visit Palaven again. This time without the whole trek in the marshes for two and a half days. Garrus smiled, he remembered how frightening the whole ordeal was at first. Then when Jane had practically pranced out of that marsh arm in arm with her Rite partner looking very much like they were going to burst into a Turian war song, he felt like he was the luckiest Turian alive. Sure the procedure was painful, but the reward was overwhelming for him and no words could ever describe his feelings in full. The memories brought back those strong emotions to the surface, but Garrus welcomed the distraction. His father may have been a hard ass, but he was still his father and he loved him. Garrus read further into the letter hoping his father would know something about the questions he had about his behavior though. It had been bothering him and he really wanted to know.

"I know what you speak of, son." One part started. "I don't quite understand it myself. Nobody knows exactly what happens during the Binding. Even with many religious and scientific groups becoming so interested in it due to your wedding event. I was very surprised myself to see it. However, it seem to like the normal bonds between two Turians regardless of the difference in Jane's DNA." It seemed like his father had finally gotten over the part of Jane being Human to begin with. That's good. "I must tell you though, it took your mother and me three years before we could stand to be apart from each other for more than a few days. The longer we were apart, the harder it was to be stable. If it is the same for you, be careful. I know what this woman means to you and it is good that you finally found someone to add to our family. I only wish that you're mother was here to see it." Garrus blinked. His father rarely talked about his mother in such a way. "She would be very proud of you. It may seem like it gets easier to be apart but in truth the bond only grows stronger. Take care of your family. I love you, son. Come see me soon."

Garrus did not notice he was crying until his hand started to feel wet. He blinked rapidly and wiped his face. Something had finally changed his father from the by-the-book C-Sec officer he knew for all those years to someone who wanted to show he did care. Maybe it was Jane's courage and admiration. Or when he saw their binding. Who knows, but something had finally chipped at the hard shell and weakened it. He was not sure whether he liked it or not yet.

Jane bent over the silent Geth, her eyes dark and heavy. The few hours of sleep she had did not make her feel any better than before her rest. It did not look like anyone else looked any better than her, especially Tali. They had all done what they could do for Legion and there was nothing more to do than wait. Jane had sent Tali to Dr. Chakwas for a check up then ordered her to bed. As much as she knew Tali wanted to stay by Legion's side, Jane knew that if she did not rest and there was an emergency, the young girl might not have the full reflexes needed. A small noise caught Jane's attention. Slowly, she sat next to the Geth lying on its alcove.

A very dim light shined on her face as a weak voice barely echoed in the small room. "Shepard-Commander?"

Jane tried to smile as she rested a hand on the N7 armor plate in Legion's arm. "I'm here Legion."

"Is EDI unharmed?" A Geth had never shown any sort of actual interest in this way before. It would have made Jane more curious if the circumstances were different.

"Yes. Thanks to you." I wish you didn't do it at all.

Legion made a sighing like sound and moved its head back to facing the ceiling. It must have taken all its strength to move for its movements were slow and lethargic. After a few moments of silence Legion made another babbling like sound.

"Shepard-Commander?" It asked.

"Yes, Legion?"

"Can I ask you a personal inquiry?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"Is… death frightening."

Jane almost fell out of her seat. She had heard that Geth had asked some unusual questions when they were still working for the Quarians, but this was much more different. More personal than she would have thought was capable.

"I… No. Not really, I guess. For me, it was an insufferable pain as the oxygen in my body boiled; and then there was nothing. No pain, no thoughts, nothing. It's probably different for every person, but it's not like people come back to life every day." Jane pondered for a moment. "But weren't you deactivated when we brought you abroad over a year ago? Wouldn't it feel the same as that for you?"

Legion's eye moved slightly toward her. "Deactivation and termination are not the same."

Jane could not help but chuckle a little. "Yeah I guess it isn't."

After another moment of silence Legion finally spoke again. "We have finally made a consensus on individuality."

Jane cocked her head curiously. "Hmm. Really? What do you conclude?"

"After reviewing a significant amount of data, we have decided that individuality is sometimes needed. Even among Geth."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow at that statement.

"While, decisions still need mutual consent, it is concluded that each terminal has its own 'voice' when conversing."

"Are you saying that when you say 'I', you are speaking as 'Legion' and not as 'Geth'?"

Legion's eye moved slightly. "Yes."

"Huh… Who'd a thought…" Jane said quietly to herself.

"Commander-Shepard?" Legion interrupted her thought.

"Yes, Legion?"

"I am afraid to die."

Jane felt a tear escape her eye and trail down her cheek. Her heart tightened in pain as she squeezed Legion's shoulder in a futile attempt to comfort the synthetic machine. Legion was more than just your average Geth; it had grown beyond the simplicity of just being sentient. It was a person to everyone on the Normandy. It was their friend.

Suddenly, all the pain, sadness, and fear turned into hate. Unbelievable, menacing hate for the Illusive Man and his manipulative ways. She wanted to crush his skull with her bare hands and watch him bleed as the life drained from those deceiving eyes. Jane clenched her jaw and ground her teeth until she thought she was going to break her jawbone as she thought of all the wrongs that man had brought upon the galaxy. His time was up, and Jane was going to make sure that justice was delivered.

"It's ok, Legion. We won't let you die."

Legion made a strange noise as it tried to move a little too fast to look at her. She placed a hand on it and softly moved it back to its original position. "For now, just rest. We are with you always. Remember that."

Legion's eye opened and closed as it considered Jane's choice of words. Perhaps next time, it will ask what friendship means. Slowly, she rose from her spot and left the Geth terminal to ponder in its own thoughts as she headed out of the AI core and across the mess area. Jane punched in the code on the door and entered Miranda's room to find her reading an old hardbound book in her chair that faced the window. Crossing her arms, she looked down at Miranda with a very serious look on her face.

"We need to talk."

Garrus rapped a fist on the metal as he inspected the new addition to their ship. The Hammerhead was nothing like the Mako and he had spent hours fiddling around with that thing on the original Normandy. He was rather anxious about having its maiden voyage be on this particular mission. They had picked up the craft from a dock on the Citadel only a few days earlier and nobody had really any time to become familiar with it, not even Garrus.

Regardless that the vehicle was new, he checked every section, inside and out, for any weaknesses in the plating. They were going to be flying though some of the most dangerous dust storms they had ever encountered. How the Illusive Man was able to make any sort of base, movable or not, on Temerarus was beyond him. Not only was the air plagued with carbon dioxide, the hot temperatures and constant bombardment of small asteroids made it all but impossible to explore the planets surface for long periods of time. It was a planet good for launching probes to gather samples, not real people on a mission to correct the problems of a madman.

Several pairs of footsteps interrupted his inspection as Jane and a few other crewmembers approached the vehicle. Grunt was suited up ready for action and trailed closely behind Jane. The bloodthirsty Krogan reminded him a little of Wrex every now and then even though Garrus would have preferred Wrex over any other Krogan any day. There was just something different that set Wrex apart from the rest of his kind. The group of crewmembers readied the vehicle as Jane walked up to him and handed him his helmet.

"I left Tali in charge of the ship while we are away. I also asked her to check up with the colonies on Invictus to make sure they haven't had any problems that we need to know about." She paused and eyed him with sad eyes. He reached out with his empty hand and squeezed her armored arm lightly to comfort her. "Are you ready?"

"Hell yeah, I'm ready to rip the fucking bastard limb from limb." Garrus never cared for the Illusive Man and this just added to his distrust.

A small smile rose up on one side of her mouth before fading just as quickly. "I love you, Garrus."

She stood on her toes as she pressed her lips against his hard mouth in a light quick kiss, and then one on his torn mandible. Garrus had gotten used to it over the year and had admirable control on his reflexes. He was no longer afraid that he would flare his mandibles wildly and tear her flesh. Bending forward, he nuzzled Jane's neck, letting his fringe burying into her loosely bound hair.

"I love you too, Jane."