A/N: I got a suggestion to do a Jacob centric chapter, (thank you :D) so, here we are :) It's more of a filler, and I can say that the wolves won't really feature for a few chapters yet.

Muchas gracias ReenaCatheryn, Ravenclaw Slytherin, SasoLOVE111, TempusSimia, xxxNinaxxx, 1sweetmoment, RealWriter, MusicIsAlwaysThere, 'Lil Obsessed, kikikiki, dragonrain618 and Wolf-follower for the wonderful reviews (:

Hope you like!

. : Chapter 27: Lost Wolf : .

JACOB'S POV

I was lost.

I couldn't feel anymore. I couldn't feel anything except the pain that burned inside me, like I was standing in the middle on an inferno, flames all around. No way out. The smoke was so thick I couldn't see through it.

I didn't even know if I remember how to feel anything else anymore.

Everything is so…empty without her here.

Evie. My Evie.

My wolf prowled, furious that she wasn't with us, desperate to have her.

As I ran, all I could see in my mind was the look in her eyes when she'd left me standing there, staring after her. It hurt worse then having every bone in my body crushed by newborn blood suckers. Did I make her feel that way? Did I cause her that pain?

"I believe you." She'd whispered, so softly, yet I'd still heard her. I could see the tears that had been pooling in her beautiful green eyes. All that pain, should not, have been inside someone as lovely as Evie.

For every moment that she'd cursed me, hit me, yelled and glared at Sam and Tasha. The hateful things she'd said, I knew she wasn't like that. It was just a mask she wore. Why, I didn't know. And I needed to know. The clawing, desperate need inside me to go and find her, hold her, make her see…it was killing me, being away from her. Every second was worse then the last, more excruciating. Every moment seemed to bring closer my insanity, and end.

I needed her, could feel myself dying without her.

But I didn't go. If I was this desperate to find her, then she was doubly desperate that I didn't. And she would always come before anything I wanted. I'd do anything for her, even if that meant I sacrificed the one thing I needed more then air to breathe. My life was nothing compared to hers.

I love her!

And I'd never forget that look of sheer, unbound terror in those stunning eyes when I'd told her. It, too, was burned on my brain like an ugly brand. It kept coming; I kept seeing the cursed scenes replayed over and over. On the rare occasions that I slept, they were all I dreamed.

Her face…I regretted it more each time.

I snarled, furious with myself. Why had I done this to her? Why? How could I have hurt the one person I treasured above all others so much?

It was my loving her that brought her the most fear. She was afraid of love.

I will never make her afraid again.

If I ever even saw her again.

If being away from her had done one good thing to me, it was that I'd gone back over every moment I'd been near her, watched her. Forced myself to relive even the bad times, made myself focus on anything other then her eyes. They revealed more then she'd have ever said, and I always looked to her eyes first, even in my memories.

To rethink all the things she did and said…the cold bitch she tried to make people see her as, it was all just a mask, a wall she'd built to keep out anyone looking to get in. Trust was obviously a big issue, and I knew damn well that I'd shattered that. If she'd even had any in me to begin with.

She didn't hate her sister, or even Sam. Not until those last few moments, then I was pretty sure that she'd have killed them herself if she'd been given the chance.

It was like she'd been betrayed. Which, I suppose, she probably had been. I never knew that Tasha knew about us.

"I know what you're going to say, and you're wrong! You're wrong…."

She'd been shaking her head, her whole body quivering in panic, trying to make me stop talking. I'd tried, but Sam had Alpha ordered me to tell her. Leah had gotten frantic, trying to get him to undo it. She'd known that what I had to say would hurt Evie. She'd known how my girl would react.

Leah had promptly refused to go wolf after that. She avoided the rest of the pack like they had the plague. Couldn't blame her, I'd done the same thing. Only I hadn't been human since my life had left.

Ran. She'd ran, couldn't get away from you fast enough.

But Leah knew things about Evie, things that I, and more then likely no one else, knew. For the first few nights I'd prowled around outside the Clearwater's place, knowing Leah was inside.

She had to have known what I wanted, and she had.

On the third night she'd appeared on the back step, still human and wrapped up in a fuzzy dressing gown even though she didn't need it.

"I'm not stupid, Jake." She'd said at normal tones into the darkness, looking directly where I'd been standing. Sue was asleep and Seth was out patrolling, it was pitch black without light from the house or the moon.

I went and sat in front of her, the cold-hearted bitch we'd all whined about having to deal with. The only girl who could kick our arses before Evie had amazingly proven that she could, too.

She looked so…so vulnerable now. She looked guilty and tortured, kind of how I felt. Though I was undoubtedly worse, I was Evie's soul mate.

I didn't go to close though. I knew I was unstable, and though Leah had something I wanted, I wouldn't hurt her. She'd only hurt me back. And although a good fight sounded pretty appealing, I didn't need a Leah arse kicking. She'd probably be only too happy to hand me one.

"I won't tell you her secrets." She continued, and I couldn't help the growl that rose in my throat.

She glared at me, looking more like our Leah. "Don't snarl at me. I'm not going to. That's why I'm not phasing, I don't want to risk not being focused and letting anything slip. I've betrayed her once. I won't do it again…even if she never found out that I did."

I was angry, but I forced myself to see reason in her words. My wolf was going berserk. So I was right, Evie felt like we'd betrayed her.

"She's a very complicated person, Jake." Leah muttered. "You'd go ballistic if you knew…knew what she'd been through. Sam's worst mistake had been telling her about the imprinting. She's not ready for something like that, you have to understand. She might not ever be ready to accept you, not because you're a wolf, but because of the soul mate thing. You know the saying 'once burned, twice shy'? Well, Evie's goes more like 'once burned, never again'. End of story."

Someone had hurt her, badly. Someone she'd been in a relationship with.

My blood boiled. Whether because another man had been near her that way, or because he'd made her what she was today. Broken.

I'll fix her. I vowed. I'll make her happy again.

I imagined her reaction to me telling her that, promising her, swearing on my life…she'd probably hit me and tell me she wasn't a car. It made me smile. That's my girl.

"Now will you stop stalking around like an axe murderer?" Leah asked me pointedly. "I'm sorry for you, Jake, honestly I am. But there's nothing you can do. Evie has to work through this on her own, or she'll never accept it's true." She gave me a tired, sad smile and stood, going back into the house, leaving me to the darkness and my thoughts.

I knew now, that she would never accept it if I went to her. This must be done solely on her terms. It had to be her choice. My wolf understood that, too, and stopped driving me to track her down.

No, my Evie wasn't a bad person. Maybe she thought she was, but I knew otherwise. And eventually I would convince her of it too. You only had to watch her when she was with Ben. She adored that little boy so much it made me jealous, of a three year old. And no bad person could ever have a child love them as much as Ben loved her.

Sam had tried to force me to phase back after a few days, but I'd somehow been able to ignore his command. To everyone's shock, I'd imagine. But he didn't matter anymore.

Besides, I had him to blame for a good half of my current misery. If I'd thought I'd been on the brink with Bella…well, that had nothing on this.

So I ran. And ran and ran and ran until I'd exhausted myself. I could no longer hear my pack brother's thoughts, though I'd managed to pretty much block them out anyway. I was so deep in the wilderness that I couldn't sense people for miles.

I wasn't even sure where I was. Canada? Alaska? I didn't know and I didn't care. I needed the freedom of my wolf, needed to be alone. For a while at least.

Eventually I turned around and started back. I couldn't bring myself to call it home anymore. Home was where ever she was, and I didn't know where she was. Therefore, it made sense that I'd not know where I was.

I knew Billy and the others would be worried about me, but they'd understand. Only one thought brought me back.

What if she did come back?

I prayed that she would.

She had too.

I knew I wouldn't be able to find the will to survive without her.

A/N: It's short, I know. But I'm not very used to writing Jake's POV, and I'm not entirely sure if I got it right…

As it turns out, I'm going to be home for an extra day now, soo there might be another chapter up before I leave on Sunday afternoon. If not, then the next one will be the weekend after. Which I think I'll be home for. Think. Lol. I really don't know what I'm doing these days. Plans keep changing, things keep coming up and plans change again…I'm sick of it, really. It's driving me insane.

Anyhow, lol, I really hope you enjoyed this one. Please review and lemme know what you thought :)

Love,

~Meg xx