Gale: Last Chance
As I wash up I try to recall the happiness I felt in the forest earlier with Katniss. I try but it's only a faint memory as if from days past instead of only hours ago. There's too much anger, anxiety and fear at the moment. I hate the Capitol for ruining this day. I hate the Capitol for controlling us day after day. I hate the government for the Games, for the tesserae, for taking pleasure in it. The anger threatens to boil over so I busy myself with getting the others ready.
At the Square I seek out Katniss and find her quickly in the area for 16 year old girls. Our eyes meet and I can see that she's worried for me. I think to our conversation earlier, if I had been clearer about my feelings would her answer have been different? Before I can think about it too much the Capitol woman is up ready to draw from the bowl of female names.
'Please not Katniss. Please not Katniss.' I repeat in my head like a mantra or a prayer.
It's not Katniss but it might as well have been because the second that bitch says Prim's name I know she won't be the Everdeen girl entering the arena. I've lost my chance. I no longer care if I'm chosen. Not in that moment.
o.0.o
I had been watching the games but it became too much and I sit at our rock absentmindedly fixing a snare. The rock is too big without Katniss there beside me laughing I think sadly. Seeing her nearly die of dehydration had been hard, watching her freak out in a tracker jacker delirium had been difficult. However, watching Katniss open up to Mellark, watching her kiss him was heart breaking.
I had foolishly begun to hope that Katniss would make it home, especially once she got her hands on that bow. I had thought she could make it back to me. Now I realize even if she returns it won't be to me. I'm out of chances.