A/N: Hiya guys! Home again, after the longest week of my life! This one's a long chapter, make up for the little wait :)

Super thanks to Ravenclaw Slytherin, SasoLOVE111, RealWriter, Reena Catheryn, TempusSimia, amongthestarsx, kiki, Wolf-follower, MusicIsAlwaysThere, dragonrain618, 'Lil Obsessed, Puckabrina Alee, 1sweetmoment, Happy2BeeMe, Azalia Fox Knightling, Al, MAMfanfic, Ana and Rebeccaaaa for the reviews! I love knowing what you think!

. : Chapter 28: Up is Down : .

I don't know what I'm feeling, anymore.

I don't know if I should be angry, or sad, or pleased.

Nothing makes any sense. My world has been turned on its head. Up is down, down is up.

The things I have believed for so long, don't apply to me anymore….

I'm so lost…and scared.

I took my eyes from the faded pages to stare out my bedroom window. Biting my lip and tracing my fingers over the pendant Mum had given me, I sighed. Great uncle's words were beginning to match my current situation, on a scary level.

I hadn't told the others about Mum's visit yet. I'd claimed to be tired and without a word they let me retreat to the quiet of my room. I hadn't been lying, I was still tired, but sleep was not something that would come to me until my mind stopped working over time.

Instead I'd just sat in this position, curled up on my window sill, leafing through the journal, for hours. I wasn't sure of the exact time, but the city outside was currently a-glow in the last warm rays of the sun.

No, I couldn't sleep, but at least I was semi-calm. Not on the verge of another break-down. I was really hoping I'd run out of those.

When my door handle turned and the barrier slowly opened, I didn't jump, just calmly turned my head and waited for the person to appear, slipping the pendant into the pocket of my jeans.

I was surrounded by a house full of other spies; intruders were really the least of my concerns at the moment. Not that that knowledge had stopped me from placing my favourite handgun, loaded, within quick reach. Old habits die hard. Or not at all.

But it was only Jay's head that popped around the corner, and upon seeing me, he sighed and came into my room.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't be sleeping." He said gently as he crossed the carpeted floor and lifted my feet so he could sit down on the other side of the sill. He settled my feet back into his lap.

I shrugged. "I am tired."

"I know. I can see the dark circles under your eyes."

"The nightmares claim me when I sleep, Jay. Not that my brain would let me sleep now, even if I tried. I can't make it stop working."

He gave me a smile, one that told me he understood completely. I was aware I wasn't the only person who was prone to being kept awake at night. "It'll be alright in the end, baby girl. We'll make it alright."

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I admitted, honestly. "About anything."

"I know. You'll know once you've done it."

"It's not smart, to just fly by the seat of your pants." We'd been lectured for hours about laying out a carefully planned plan before we ever made any moves. Snap decisions were necessary, but were only advisable when prior planning simply wasn't possible.

Jay shrugged and grinned cheekily. "Hasn't killed us yet, has it?"

"There's a first time for everything."

"You'd only be half as depressed if you started thinking positively, you know."

"I usually try not to lie to myself. Everyone else; fine. Me; no."

He chuckled, and then his eyes were drawn to the journal. "How'd it go with the she-devil?"

I sighed. "Things got more complicated, as per the usual. I'm half wicca as well. I would've been a werewolf without a 'binding spell', and Sam-the-jackass-Uley is not my cousin."

Jay just stared at me. "Well…at least the last part was good news?"

I shook my head. "Nope. It's actually worse. He's my brother instead."

"Hang on; what the hell is a Wicca?"

"The different but preferred term for a witch."

"Witches?" He was doing his eyebrow thing again.

"And fairies, as it turned out."

"This just gets weirder and fucking weirder, baby girl." He murmured with a shake of his head. "So you're half werewolf…and half…wicca?"

"That about covers it, yeah."

"Fucking hell."

"Uh huh. But I won't ever have 'active powers', as my mother called them. She put a binding spell on me before I was born, and it trapped my wolf side and whatever else magical that might've been floating around in me, so I'm pretty much just normal."

"I sense a but, why do I sense a but?"

"But, I am slightly advanced from normal humans. I'm a little bit faster, stronger, heal quicker, you get the picture."

He blinked at me. "I always thought you were wicked quick."

"Yeah, well, now you know why."

"Cheater."

"Hey! I've bled for you, buddy. I still get hurt and shit, remember."

"I was only playin', baby girl!" He assured me, quickly, giving me the feeling he didn't want to see anymore of my break-downs either. Typical guy, was our Jay, didn't deal with female emotions. "D'you want me to tell the others?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, I don't care. The latest news makes no difference to our situation. It doesn't matter what my blood is made up of, if I'm not going to be any different to what I am now. If you want to explain it, you can, if not…I really couldn't be bothered at the moment."

He nodded. "Understandable, but, maybe you are keeping to many secrets, hmm?"

"I'm to exhausted, Jay. To drained to give a damn."

"Want me to give you something, to help you sleep?"

"I don't want drugs. I'll sleep when I'm ready to sleep."

"If you become a danger to yourself, I will make you take something." He warned.

I nodded. "Fair enough."

He sighed. "I can never win with you, can I?"

I half-smiled and brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "Jay-Jay, I don't think anyone can."

"Tyler rang back." He said after a moment's silence. "Got through to Mads, she and Danny will be on the first plane home."

"Good." A little of the weight on me lifted. My partner was coming home. Maddy would straighten things out; she'd know what to do.

"Did your mother say anything else about the mythical critters?"

"Not really." I murmured. "I get the impression that she isn't very fond of the wolves. She wasn't overly thrilled when I told her about Black. But apart from that…she just spent the time explaining to me what I was, and things that led up to her divorce with Daddy. Nothing else that might be of use to us. But, Jay," I fixed him with a stern look. "We're not going vampire hunting. Just because we know they exist now, doesn't make us Buffy's, okay?"

He held up his hands. "I wasn't planning on it. You know me; I like to have the upper hand on any enemy that I might come across."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope not to die." He grinned.

I giggled a little. "Alright, then. I suppose it couldn't hurt, though I don't think much in the line of weapons will do any good. You'd really want to talk to someone else who knows something about them. And before you suggest it, no, I will not be speaking to anyone from my damned past about it for you."

"I wouldn't have dreamed of suggesting that."

"Liar."

"Well, maybe. But I knew what you'd have said, so I didn't bother."

"I shouldn't have told you guys about them in the first place, by tribe laws. Outsiders aren't permitted to know."

He grinned at me. "Everywhere you go, you've always gotta break the rules, don't you?"

I smiled. "Where's the fun in keeping them?"

oOo

Twenty-four hours later, my front door was thrown open and my partner and best friend marched inside. Her husband, with all their luggage, trudged in behind her.

Maddy said nothing as she walked straight up to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

I hugged her back just as tightly.

"Hey, Evie." She murmured, pulling back to hold me at arms length to inspect me properly. "My god, you look shocking."

I chuckled, relieved to hear that slight English accent again. I looked her over as well. She was well dressed, as always. In a cream coloured short sleeved button down shirt, grey dress pants and matching grey jacket. Her mousy brown hair was pulled up in a high pony-tail and her pale complexion was as spotless as it always was.

I was wearing a pair of baggy dark blue trackies and a peach coloured hoodie, my hair was loose and only haphazardly brushed, and my skin tone wasn't as 'warm' as it usually was, according to CJ.

"And you look perfect, like always." I grinned at her.

She flicked my nose. "You usually are, too, madam. Have you been eating properly? You seem thinner…and paler?"

I jerked my head in CJ's direction. She was watching us from behind the kitchen counter. "She's here; of course I've been eating properly."

"Have you been sleeping?"

"No." No use in denying it. There had to be someone out there that I didn't have to lie to, right?

"That explains some of it, then."

"Hey, Danny." I smiled at the computer tech as he dropped all the bags he'd been carrying just inside the lounge room. "You survived, then?"

"Just." He muttered dryly. "I hate field work."

Daniel Livingston was tall and lanky, with short blonde hair and pale blue eyes. No one else expected to find him anywhere near the field, either.

Maddy rolled her eyes at her husband. "Stop being such a wimp. You weren't even shot at, for gods' sake."

"I was in the building when they infiltrated it." He protested. "That was plenty close enough, thankyou."

The rest of us laughed.

Maddy smiled at the rest of our team fondly. "It's always good to come home again, though. Thanks for pulling strings to get us here so quickly."

"No worries." Jay said. "I didn't have any real desire to do this on our own."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment to our abilities, and not you being a smartass, Jay." Maddy said crisply, raising an eyebrow at him. "Tyler has filled us in completely, so we can get straight to work."

"Yay." Yas muttered flatly. "Maddy's the slave-driver from hell." She mock-whispered to Tess, who, until now, has never really worked exclusively with us.

Tess gave her a gentle shove. "I know Maddy, too, you know."

"Girls." Maddy warned, and then she turned back to me. "Where's my son?"

"Guest room, fast asleep." I replied. "I think he's taken my share of slumber."

"There is such a thing called sleeping pills, you know."

"I don't believe in having to take drugs to sleep, Mads. Jay's already given me this talk anyway, so we can move onto the next call of business."

"Okay, then. Well, our sources tell us that Adam has left Boston, and apparently, just dropped off the radar." She announced.

There were collective groans. It wasn't unheard of or even surprising that he'd managed to do this. Any good spy was capable of disappearing. He'd already proven his talent for it.

"It's not possible that he has any friends left in America?" CJ asked.

I shook my head slowly. "I never knew of him having contact with anyone not in similar lines of work to himself. If he has civilian friends, I don't know about them."

"And all friends he might've had among our community will either do everything they can to capture him, or just shot him on sight." Dan said, pulling a manila folder out of a black briefcase and handing it to Jay. "The warrant for Adam's arrest, if you want to see it. He's not very well liked."

"I could've told you that." I said flatly, taking a seat at the table and watching the others follow suit. "We all know what happens to traitors."

"Yes, well…" Maddy said, tapping his fingers against the table top. It had been, at one stage before we partnered up, her job to track down rogue agents, and silence them. "They want to talk to Adam before disposing of him. He's wanted alive, but dead will do if it's either that or let him escape. We might have bigger problems then Adam at the moment, anyway."

I tensed. "Like what? We've already got government wanted ex-boyfriends and other-worldly-creatures on our plate. Do I really need any more stress?"

Dan produced another folder and placed it in front of me with a grimace. "I'll apologise in advance for this, Evie. I do hate being the barer of bad news."

I stared at it for a moment, while all sets of eyes trained on me. Slowly, I opened it, and stopped breathing.

Maddy reached over and slapped me on the back, forcing me to take a breath. Then she clenched my hand. "I'm sorry, Evie. You know I wouldn't make things worse if I didn't have to. We'll handle this like we handle everything else. Hard, fast, clean."

The familiar, sadistic smile that only lived in my nightmares was staring back at me. The face of the man who had tortured me, for hours upon hours upon hours, in a roughly put together tent in the middle of an Arab desert, looked out at me from the top page.

"What does he have to do with anything?" I asked tightly. He was the one who had minced my back, had me on deaths door for days. He kept me alive just enough so that I could feel every new touch, every pain. The one my agency would've left me with, to die, and I thought they had, until Maddy, Jay and Adam had blown in and saved me.

"Tell me, little jem, tell me your secrets." I could feel his hot breath against my ear...

"Come, pretty one. All the hurt will stop, hmm?" An empty promise. I knew it'd never end…I screamed.

"Evie?"

He was the only one who'd ever made me scream.

"Evie!"

Her voice broke me out of my choppy, bloodied memories. I remember thinking that it'd never end, and my own screams of terror and agony echoing. I remembered that clearest of all.

"Why are you showing me this?" I asked, again feeling that awful emptiness open up inside me, and the panic.

No one knew I'd given him the sick pleasure of hearing me scream. No one. I'd never spoken a word of that fall. Could never admit that I'd been so weak, fallen so far.

Maddy pulled away the page with his smirking mug-shot to reveal a blown-up A4 sized photo of a sketchy CCTV capture. A man of obvious Arab decent, dressed in traditional robes and headdress, followed by four sunglasses-wearing body guards, was entering a building.

"The word is that he's here on financial business, a deal between the big drilling companies and his 'organisation'," she scoffed at that. "About an oil supply lurking under the same desert we got you from." She explained to me, gently. "The thing is, he's using a different name, and has rescheduled five meetings with those companies he's supposed to be here to see."

"Giving one the impression that he's not here for oil at all." I sighed, fighting within myself to stay in control. I am stronger, damnit! My hands quivered, so I balled them into fists. "Then, what does he want?"

"No one knows that, yet." Danny put in. "He's been put under surveillance, but so far that's all that's been authorised."

"He's a proven terrorist!" I snapped. "They should've off-ed him as soon as he stepped off his plane!"

"You know it doesn't work like that when there's no proof." CJ tried.

"They decided it wasn't worth the risk of taking him on in the desert, that it would've been better to just let me die there! He's a dangerous man, and I guarantee you, that whatever he's here for, it won't bode well for anyone."

When silence greeted me, my eyes widened and I slumped in my chair.

"Oh for fucks sake, you can honestly think that he's here for me?"

"You're the only captive on record that has ever escaped and lived." Dan said matter-of-factly. "And he didn't get what he wanted from you. He's a man that lives off reputation, and you put a fair hole in his, I'd say."

"Thanks, Danny. That's real reassuring!"

"Dan's right, though. You know how well the barsteds can hold a grudge." Jay put in. "It wouldn't be surprising if he was here for you, to settle the score."

"It's absurd though! It's been almost two years since I was…captured. Why wait so long?"

"Maybe he only just found you?" Yas suggested.

"I know their equipment possibly isn't as advanced as ours half the time, but I doubt it would've taken him two years to figure out I was American. Where was this taken?"

"Washington, DC." Danny replied instantly. "The oil company head quarters are there, but, he's been trying to organise a trip to see one of their drill sites, which isn't far from here, as luck would have it."

"That may not mean that he knows I'm in New York, though." Fucking universe! What the hell have I done to you?

"There are three drills closer to Washington, yet he picks the one closer to New York? That's a bit too coincidental, for my tastes." Maddy said, frowning. "It's true he may not be here for you, but something else is definitely going on here. He's not an oil man; his rep is for guerrilla warfare, not digging holes in the ground."

"Crap." I swore. "Can nothing ever go smoothly for me? Would it really be too much to ask that I get a damn break?"

"You are a magnet for trouble." Dan chuckled.

I glared at him, not at all in any sort of mood for joking. "It's not funny, computer boy."

Maddy cleared her throat. Maybe sensing that her husband was on the way to getting his nose broken. "I think the best course of action would be to evacuate. No one can find you here if your not here."

I scowled at her. "I hate running. I am a lot of things, but I am not a coward.Where would I go, anyway?" He will never hear me scream again…

"I know you do, and I know your not, but I'm not going to give you any choice in the matter this time. And it'll be we. We're not splitting up. You should've seen enough horror movies to know that splitting up is the best way to get yourself killed. We stay together."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, where are we going to go, then?"

"Your father left you a house, didn't he?" She asked, very serious like.

If my eyes could get any wider, they'd probably fall right out of my eye sockets. "No, Madison, no way."

"Think about it, Evie. You despise that place, everyone knows that. It would be the last place anyone, especially anyone who once knew you, would think to look for you."

"Did you miss what happened while I was there last time? I'm not going back. I can't go back." I was panicking again.

"Shh, honey, calm down." CJ soothed. "You wouldn't have to deal with anyone there. We've gotta do what's best. There are too many variables here; we need to fight on different ground. Too many innocents could get hurt if we had to have a showdown here."

"It's La Push. How will I be able to avoid an entire town while I'm staying in the middle of it? No, no and no. I am not going back, and that's final." I folded my arms across my chest and glared at them.

There is no way…

oOo

"You'll get through this, Eves." Maddy promised me for the thousandth time as she rummaged around my room, throwing items of clothing and other things into the open suitcase on my bed.

I glared at her from the window sill, which had been locked and bolted so I couldn't escape. If they thought I wouldn't get desperate enough to just throw myself through the glass, then they were badly mistaken.

Unfortunately, I think they knew this, since they were on a rotate so there was someone with me at all times. It was like being held captive all over again. Only slightly less painful.

"Everyone keeps telling me that." I muttered. "And every time I hear it the less I believe it."

"You wanna know why I think you look as bad as you do?" My best friend, who I was going to strangle as soon as she turned her back, asked me as she fetched the pair of handguns she'd left me from under my mattress and put them back in a briefcase. "And why you feel worse then you look. And don't you even think about lying to me. I know that if you look bad, you feel twenty times worse."

"Not particularly, since I highly doubt I'll like what you have to say about it."

She carried on as if she hadn't heard me. "I think it's because you're away from Jacob Black."

I daresay I looked pretty nasty by that point. "Excuse me?"

She slapped the lid on the now-full suitcase and turned to glare at me. "Stop being so bloody childish, Eva. From what I understand of this imprinting shit, it's not to be taken lightly. Your body is reacting to being away from him. You wouldn't look like you do if you two were closer together. You might not miss him, but your health obviously does."

"That's fucking ridiculous! I am not in love with that moron! Being away from him is a hellofalot better then being near him, trust me. And my health depends on our proximity? What utter bullshit! It's the stress causing this."

"Werewolves and vampires? What utter bullshit." She fired back, and it was enough to shut me up. She had a good point, in all fairness. Her suggestions were no more unlikely then mine, really.

"I do not need a soul-mate." I murmured softly, turning to stare back out the window, hugging my knees tighter. "I don't want one. Why can't I just have my way for once?"

"I'm not telling you to sleep with the boy, Evie." Maddy said gently as she came to rest beside me, putting an arm around my shoulders. "I think that just being near him again will make you feel better. I doubt you'll even have to talk to him."

"You don't understand, though. As soon as we set foot on that reservation, they'll be onto us like fleas on a dog. And they won't be happy when they discover that I've told you the secrets." I shook my head. "I will have to deal with them. Which means I'll also be obliged to tell Tasha and Sam what Mum told me and I really don't think I can handle that conversation with them, let alone any conversation."

"You won't have to." She said firmly. "I've looked into your Dad's will. He left the house to you and Tasha. By law, they can do nothing to stop you from being in the house."

"The res doesn't run on government law, though. Tribal law, and the council, are the power there. And because he's Alpha, Sam is automatically part of the decision making."

"What about Jacob?" I'd explained Mother's visit while she'd been packing, in equal attempts to distract her so I could escape, and to keep myself distracted so I didn't kill anyone. I may or may not have been slightly homicidal at the time. I was desperate to get out of it, alright?

"I have no idea how that works. From all accounts, he should be the Alpha, but I know for sure that he's not."

"A take over, maybe?" She suggested.

"I doubt it. Sam's an arse for sure, but I don't think he's the hostile take-over type. I think he must've phased before Black did, though. Maybe that's why."

"A mystery we'll solve another time." She decided. "We have to be ready, the plane leaves in three hours."

"I hate you for this."

"I know, but I believe we'll be better for it. I'll even clear it with your council, if it makes you feel better."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What makes you think you'll be able to convince the tribal council to let a bunch of spies hold up on their land?"

She gave me an angelic smile. "I can be very persuasive when I want to be. You'll be able to give me the low-down on the members anyway, I'm sure. We will have the edge in this. Besides, Seth's birthday is only a few days away. You'll finally be able to attend one."

I frowned at her. "Right as I've decided to disown them all…How did you know that, anyway?"

"It's written on the calendar in the kitchen, has been all year." She smirked at me.

"Oh...right." I'd completely forgotten about Seth's birthday. The renewed knowledge burned.

"Sometimes I think you should've been blonde."

"Oh, shut up."

oOo

Exactly two and a half hours later, my team was all loaded into Jay and Maddy's cars and were in traffic on our way to the air port. Jay and Dan had picked up Tyler's packages from the agency and the girls had all run home to get packed and back in time. We were all going it seemed, Maddy thought it'd be to risky to leave Ben so he was coming as well.

Four field agents, a tech agent, two trainees, a toddler and a small deranged dog.

Oh yeah, we'd cause some damage.

A/N: Another twist, gee wiz. Where do I keep getting them from, seriously? :S Lol. I hope you enjoyed it!

I think I'm going to be home for most of this week. The key word is think. Ya'll know how quick my plans change. We've settled on a house to move into, but the issue of when is still up for debate. It's going to be re-carpeted or something and they wanted us to wait until that has been done so…who rightly knows?

My week at work was torture. Two days on and I'm still recovering. It got to nearly 50 degrees in the shed :/ Definitely wasn't a walk in the park. But, money is money. And I certainly earned mine this week!

Hope your all going great (:

Love,

-Meg xx