AN

I feel like I should be hanging my head in shame. I've totally fallen off the grid with my updates and I'm so sorry. I could give you all of my excuses (and they are really good), but I know that doesn't matter to you guys. All I can say is that I'm stuck in the writing department and will do my best to update as and when I can. I'm not giving up on any of my stories. They will be finished!

Oh and also, I did have a beta, but she hasn't been in touch for some months and I know she had some personal stuff to deal with so didn't want to bother her. Unfortunately, that means that this chapter has not been beta'd so if anyone would like to assist with that, please message me because I'm sure it's not perfect.

Thanks my lovelies and please don't give up on me!

Paul POV

Three years had passed since that day on the field and everything had changed, including me. With my soul mate murdered, there had been no reason for me to stay in La Push. In fact, there had been no reason for me to exist, but after an evening spent staring at my father's old shot gun I found out the hard way that I was too big a coward to kill myself.

So, I took the only other option available and left. I didn't even say goodbye to anyone. I just disappeared and it turned out that for once I'd made the right choice.

Life didn't get better, but it became liveable. I still felt empty and broken. Rachel was still a part of my every thought and I missed her like crazy, but part of me could deal with that. It was the supernatural that I couldn't handle. I hated it. It had cost me everything. It was the reason I had never been back to La Push and completely quit phasing.

Seattle had now become the closest thing to a home I had. I lived in solitude in a small studio flat. At night I worked in a bar serving drinks and during the day I delivered parcels around the city. I kept myself so busy that I barely had time to dwell on anything. My daily routine never changed - sleep, work, eat, work, sleep. It was the same every day and that was fine with me. I didn't have any friends, no one knew me, and I liked it that way. I just wanted to fade away and so I did. The only people who would ever notice my absence would be my bosses, and even then they wouldn't be concerned. I had successfully made myself invisible.

Ironically, I had to retract my last thought. I clearly wasn't as invisible as I hoped seeing as the bar manager was now yelling at me, "Hey Paul, your shift ended half an hour ago. If you think I'm paying you extra you can forget it."

"Dick." I muttered, as I checked the clock and realised he was right.

"What was that?" he snapped back.

I knew he had heard me, but regardless I held my tongue, "Nothing, sir."

The owner of this dive was actually a reasonable guy, but the manager he employed was the biggest ass in existence. He had taken a disliking to me from day one and was always on my back. In the past, that probably would have bothered me, but these days I didn't even have the energy to fight. Plus, I couldn't afford to lose my job.

I quickly clocked out and grabbed my coat from the staff room. Despite not phasing, I still had all of my wolf traits, but I refused to acknowledge the fact. I wanted normality, which meant wearing clothes appropriate to the weather.

As I was leaving, I noticed in a corner of the room a group of five people sat at a table. I briefly glanced their way and was surprised to see that they looked Quileute. I didn't recognise the four guys, and the girl with them had her back to me. Nether-the-less, one look was enough to tell me that they were wasters and the kind of people that the Res' could do without.

I continued walking towards the exit, but to my surprise I heard a voice among them that I knew. It stopped me in my tracks. It was drier than it used to be, but I recognised it nonetheless. I froze automatically. I knew all I had to do was to just keep walking. After all, I had avoided all of them for years - why did that need to change? There really was no need to go over there.

I moved a step forward, but couldn't go any further. Why was she with people like that?

Slowly, I turned around and looked closer at the group. The girl had long black wavy hair which fell halfway down her back. Her frame was smaller than I remembered and looked almost frail. I shook my head in disbelief - it couldn't possibly be her?

I inhaled deeply, trying to focus on her scent. It was the same woody smell that all of the wolves had, but still... I had to be mistaken - the guys wouldn't let her be around losers like that?

Then I realised they probably didn't care. They never came looking for me after all. The war had seemingly changed all of us.

I tore my eyes away, begging myself to keep walking and go home. Like I said, it probably wasn't even her, and so what if it was?

It was none of my business what Leah Clearwater did. We had never been friends or anything close. In fact, I had spent most of my years making sure she knew what a bitch she was and tormenting her just as much she tormented us. It wasn't until Seth died that I felt anything other than contempt for the girl.

"Until Seth died" Shitting hell - I hated my damn fucking conscience

"She was also Rachel's friend." Ok, ok, just shut up already!

I cursed at myself once more and found myself walking back to the bar. I pulled up a stool in the corner and caught the eye of Jamie, another one of the bar tenders.

He came over to me with a confused expression. "It's not like you to stay behind."

"I fancied a drink." I shrugged, keeping an eye on the table where Leah was sitting.

"Well, what will it be?" Jamie asked.

"Bud," I handed him the cash with my order, and a minute later he returned with my beer.

Sipping my beer, I tried to get a good look at the guys she was with. They were being loud and boisterous clearly having had a few. Leah however, was remaining silent and had her head hung low. I watched as one of the guys slung his arm around her and whispered something unfriendly into her ear. Leah seemed to flinch and shoved him away before grabbing her handbag and storming, well more staggering angrily, off towards the exit.

Seeing her stand, I realised that I had been right when I thought she looked frail. Her toned body had completely disappeared and left behind a bag of bones. The tiny black dress she was wearing even looked too big for her and hung limply off her body, the curves no longer there to fill it. When my eyes reached her face I gritted my teeth. She looked incredibly gaunt and there were dark circles around her eyes. There was no mistaking it was her though, or a ghost of who she once was.

What had happened to her?

That thought, made me also wonder who the guy was with her and what he had said that pissed her off so badly, not that annoying her had ever been a hard task. It bothered me though in this instance. I had been unable to hear whatever was said over the music, but the guy's face had not looked pleasant.

As Leah cleared the exit and the door shut behind her my attention returned to the guys who seemed to be having an argument. Seeming to come to some sort of agreement, they quickly downed their drinks and trailed out after Leah.

I sat for a minute debating what to do. There was no need for me to get involved. Hell, I didn't even like Leah and whatever was going on was certainly none of my business. Plus, this was exactly the kind of stuff that got Rachel killed. Everything in La Push, including the people were toxic. They drew you in with all their drama and crap not considering the people that would pay the price for their mistakes. No, I didn't need to get involved. I needed to just let it go and sleep it off. Pretend I never even saw her.

So why was my gut instinct telling me to follow her?

I had worked the bar enough to tell the difference between peoples intentions and the group she was with were not nice people. Still, it was nothing to do with me, right?

I downed my drink and convinced myself to go home. Nodding at Jamie, I headed out into the street. There was a cue of people waiting to get in to the bar and it was fairly late in the evening, but the city was still buzzing with nightlife. I couldn't spot Leah or her friends anywhere and satisfied I had an easy escape I did up my jacket and started walking home.

I took my usual route, turning down a quieter street and away from the hustle and bustle of the city centre. It was a convenient short cut and I didn't exactly have to worry about being mugged seeing as I still had my heightened abilities. I hadn't got far though when I heard a trash can being knocked over and a feminine whimper from a nearby alley followed by a deep grunt.

"This isn't happening." I thought, my legs already walking towards the sound. I reached the dark alley and peered down it. I saw two people's legs jutting out from behind a dumpster as they struggled on the floor and three guys standing around watching with expressions of amusement. I recognised them immediately from the club and as the group that had been with Leah. It was then that I caught her scent mixed in with blood on the night air.

"Hold still, bitch. You owe us, remember." The voice behind the dumpster shouted, followed by the sound of something being unzipped.

"Please, no. I'll get your money." Leah's week voice cried out, as her tiny legs kicked against the legs above her.

There was the sound of a sharp slap and her legs stopped moving as she fell silent.

I felt sick at the thought of what he was going to do to her and I knew that I couldn't ignore it, so I stepped into the alley. The three guys who were standing and watching looked up at me in surprise. They weren't very big, so although Quileute I knew they weren't wolves. They had usual signature long black hair and a few shit looking tattoos. The men definitely looked angry at being disturbed.

"Karl, we got company." One of them muttered.

The man behind the dumpster sighed and stood up. He dragged Leah up with him and I saw her nose was bleeding and her eye was swollen. He threw her to one of his mates, who grabbed her forcefully and held her against him. Leah, didn't even look up, her eyes remained fixed on the ground. Her dress was torn and hung haphazardly off her. Karl seemed unfazed by my presence and after doing up the fly of his jeans and straightening his shirt he walked towards me slowly.

"This is a private party." He sneered at me. "If you know what's good for you you'll keep walking."

He was clearly the biggest and oldest of the three, but still no threat in my opinion. A part of me, didn't really understand why Leah hadn't phased and kicked all of their butts already. I figured that wasn't of real importance right now though.

"I think the parties over don't you?" I said coolly.

Karl, suddenly pulled from his pocket a large flick knife, and pointed it at me. "Don't be a hero. Turn around and go home."

I ignored his attempt to look intimidating. It was laughable really seeing as I could easily rip his head off. "Just give me Leah and we can all go home. That way everyone win's, and I don't have to embarrass you in front of your buddies." I suggested.

A part of me didn't want to fight, but a huge part of me was delighted with the prospect. There was so much anger in me waiting for release that the idea of ripping these bastards apart appealed greatly. I had to remind myself that they were humans though, and it wasn't down to me to take their lives.

Besides, I had managed to bury my temper for three years and I didn't know if I let it loose what would happen. I certainly didn't want to get into a position where I phased and lost control. I had managed to block out that side for so long and I didn't want to go into that world again.

I realised that all of the men were looking at me in confusion, and Leah also raised her head and stared in my direction. It was horrible. As her eyes met mine it felt like I was looking in the mirror. She had the same pained look that I saw in myself every day. Surprisingly, she seemed unsettled by my presence and looked weak as her knees buckled slightly.

"You know this guy?" the man asked Leah accusingly and pointed at me.

She shrugged and slumped against the man that was holding her up as her eyes lid started to get heavy.

"Well seems to me like she doesn't know you." Karl smiled smugly, the streetlight reflecting off his knife as he took several steps closer to me. Two of his mates stepped forward following him.

I mimicked them and closed the distance between us even further until we were all standing about a metre apart. The guy holding Leah remained in the background.

"I won't ask you again. Let her go." I snarled, feeling the wolf inside stirring.

The three guys looked at each other, before Karl nodded. At what they must have assumed was fast they made a grab for my arms. I ducked and rolled to the side, missing their grasp and the knife that came stabbing at my gut. The men looked surprised by my swift movement, but immediately dived at me from different angles.

I made my decision and ran into the closest guy with my full weight behind me. I hit him with my shoulder and sent flying into the alley wall. There was a dull thud on impact, before he slid down the brickwork and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor unconscious.

With my body turned, the other one of Karl's sidekicks took the opportunity to jump on my back and started punching my head. I automatically threw myself backwards, so that he hit the ground forcefully with me on top. He immediately released his hold on me and I stood up leaving him winded on the floor.

Karl (the coward) seeing that his friends had been beaten to the ground, moved back towards Leah and his remaining buddy. It was too late though and in a flash I had grabbed him round the neck and pinned him up against the wall. His feet were kicking as they failed to touch the ground and his legs were flailing much like Leah's had been earlier when he had her pinned to the floor. I could see the fear in his eyes and got the impression it was a long time since he had his ass handed to him. Unfortunately, dogs like him had always gone unchecked on the reservations; the authorities just didn't have the resources to deal with them and everyone else turned a blind eye and didn't want to know.

I looked over to his friend. "Let her go." I growled.

The dick dared to look at Karl for confirmation.

"Do it." He croaked, as my hold on his throat tightened.

He threw the barely conscious Leah on the floor and quickly started walking backwards with his hands raised. When he finally deemed it safe enough to turn his back on me he ran away from us as quick as he could.

My attention returned to Karl. "You ever go near her again. I'll kill you."

I felt him gulp against my hand as I threw him on the floor and he scrambled up. He didn't even stop and help his two other friends and just sprinted after the one who had made his escape.

I sighed and looked down at Leah. She didn't move, but her breath seemed steady. I saw her purse lying nearby and picked it up to see if I could find a phone and get someone to come and get her. I couldn't just leave her lying in the dirty alley. Unfortunately, her purse was almost empty. There was a set of house keys and a small piece of square paper. I pulled it out, hoping for a phone number or address and as I unfolded it I realised it was an old photo of Seth. He was smiling and hugging someone, but whoever it was had been torn off.

I noticed just how badly the picture was crumpled and worn, and I felt a lump rise in my throat. I carried a picture of Rachel in my wallet that was just as tatty from being constantly stared at. I looked down at Leah again. It seemed that I wasn't going to be getting any information out of her in this state so I had no choice but to take her home. The idea did not appeal to me in the slightest, but I had no other option.

I picked her up bridal style, keeping hold of her purse and started the half a mile walk home. She didn't stir once and eventually I reached my block. As I climbed the stairs to my apartment I became increasingly alarmed at how little she weighed. There was nothing to her at all. Her tiny legs hung limply and her head was slumped back, showing me just how thin and drawn her face was. Her nose had stopped bleeding, but was caked with dried blood and her eye was still bruised and enflamed. I would have expected her healing powers to have taken care of it already.

Juggling the girl in my arms, I managed to get my keys out and unlock the door. Once in, I took her to my bed and laid her down. She looked a little pale, so I grabbed a bin for good measure and put it on the floor by her head before throwing a blanket over her. I decided I couldn't bear to stare at the blood on her face any longer, so I quickly grabbed a damp cloth and carefully wiped her face clean. She didn't stir once and I took that as my sign to let her rest.

Making my way to my sofa, I sat down and rubbed my head feeling a migraine coming. I really didn't want Leah Clearwater in my apartment. This was supposed to be my place, untainted by La Push. I also had no idea what I had just got involved in. One look at her made it clear that she had problems, but whatever was happening in her life and back at the reservation was none of my business.

As I laid back on the sofa and let my eyes fall closed. I tried to relax. I had done my good deed. I had got Leah out of whatever shit the stupid girl had been involved with and tomorrow I could send her home guilt free.

I simply had to wait until morning and then this whole nightmare would be over. I settled a little at the thought. I just had to stick it out for a few more hours and then Leah Clearwater would be gone, I could return to my solitary life, and everything would go back to normal.

Just a few more hours and it would all be over. It was simple, right?

It was dusk when I was woken by someone crying. I immediately sat up and it took me a minute to realise why I was on my sofa. I looked over the back towards my bed to see Leah sleeping fitfully and sobbing. I knew she was definitely still asleep, her laboured breathing told me that much. I walked over to her, unsure what to do. She was sweating and thrashing at the blanket. I became worried she would hurt herself and quickly grabbed her arms. Suddenly, her eyes opened in shock and she ripped her arms from me and punched me in the face. I stumbled back a few steps out of shock more than pain.

She was sitting up on the bed now and looked dangerous. "Whoever the fuck you are, back off."

"Leah, it's me Paul." I put my hands up in a gesture of peace.

She stared at me a minute before relaxing slightly. "So it wasn't just a dream." She muttered angrily and ran her hand through her hair.

I didn't say anything and leant against the wall watching her. Maybe she hadn't changed as much as I thought. If so, the sooner she left the better.

Leah took a moment to look around and her eyes fell on her purse on the bedside cabinet. She quickly made a grab for it and checked inside.

"There were just some keys and the photo in it when I picked it up." I confirmed.

She glared at me. "You looked through my personal shit?"

I could have made a thousand smart assed retorts, but I didn't want to argue, I just wanted her to leave.

Seeing I wasn't going to react, she threw the blanket back and climbed out my bed. If possible, she looked even worse in the light of day. Her knees were skinned and bruised, the skin around her eye was now purple and her arms...

I automatically pushed myself off the wall and grabbed her wrist holding her arms up to the light. She was so lean that I could feel her bones beneath my fingers. "What have you done to yourself?" I hissed.

She tugged them out of my grip quickly, but not before I saw the long scars carved into her skin and numerous needle marks and bruises.

"It's none of your business." She spat and spotting the door started to walk towards it.

I had promised myself that I was done interfering, but I found myself blocking her way.

"It's my business when you bring your drug buddies to my place of work and then almost get yourself raped. I heard what you said Leah, when he had you pinned to the ground and was about to force himself on you. The money you owe, is this what it was all for?" I pointed at her arms angrily.

"Mind your own business. I didn't ask you to interfere or bring me back to this place." She went to push past me, but I blocked her.

"What the hell happened to you?" I snapped. "You used to be a bitch, but this..." I motioned up and down. "...this is pathetic."

"That's rich, Paul. What happened to me? What the fuck happened to you? Maybe, if you hadn't disappeared you'd have a right to ask that question." She snarled this time and shoved me.

I let her pass, realising that she had hit the nail on the head. I had left for a reason and I didn't need to ask or care about anything in La Push. I saw some kind of bitter victory in her eyes as she sped past me and ripped open my front door.

Leah was just about to walk through it when she paused. "I won't tell anyone I've seen you, if you do the same." Her back was to me, but I could tell she was tense.

"Agreed." I grunted, and with that she was gone leaving the door wide open.

I walked forward and sighed as I closed the door. I was definitely relived she had left, but underneath it there was a trace guilt. I saw something of myself in her and that bothered me. It was as if I could see what would have happened to myself if I had stayed behind. I let lose a growl and it sounded more feral than it had in a long time. I knew what Rachel would have told me to do, but the point was that she wasn't here.