A/N: I know, it's been FOREVER since I've updated, and I can only apologise profusely for that, but….life is life. I've been super busy with work and family stuff and…just don't have the time like I used to. Just got home from three days away-I have today to get myself organised to go to work tomorrow, but I HAD to give you SOMETHING so here it is.

Well overdue, but I hope also well received…

And thank you so much to the following wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter, many, many moons ago :P ~ Wolf-follower, kiki, SerenityAngels, SasoLOVE111, LuckySock, RealWriter03, Kya, Ravenclaw Slytherin, Azalia Fox Knightling, MusicIsAlwaysThere, SamanthaMorgan013, Lil Obsessed, dragonrain618, Mythical Words, Kimura Emiko, TempusSimia, brightglo, Harvey the Wonder Hamster, xxyangxx2006, Oceanwind, Paul's Secret Loverr, LaLa, Unsocialite, pacifica somnia, Puckabrina Alee, K.C.B 16, Taylor'sbaby1, prerna11 and erica.

You are all truly appreciated and dearly loved!

Chapter 33: Mental Stability

Clothes do not survive phasing. Clothes do not survive phasing…I rubbed at my eyes with the heals of my palms. Have to remember that. Not that getting an eyeful usually bothers me, but this is Jacob Black. The guy who, as of about eight-to-nine hours ago, I decided I liked. It's different when you like the guy. It makes your body and your mind do traitorous things, and torture you from the moment of said eyeful.

"What's got you looking like you've been smacked in the head with a frypan?" Yas asked me across the table, her words muffled around a mouthful of scrambled eggs, as blunt as always.

"Are you alright, honey?" CJ added, much gentler. "You haven't touched your food."

I looked down at my full plate. So I hadn't. "Uh, yeah. I'm okay. Just…yeah."

My partner arched one of her perfect eyebrows at me. "'Just yeah', huh? Care to explain, Miss Hanson?"

"Not really, Mrs Livingston."

"You do look like you're a bit…stunned."

Stunned. I thought bleakly. Stunned is one way of putting it, I suppose…

"I'm fine." I said lightly, scooping the fork into my eggs and putting it in my mouth as proof. I felt better, but at the same time, still so drained, but…more hopeful.

Maddy was still looking at me like she suspected I was lying. Couldn't imagine why she would suspect me of that. "Fine is the bleakest describing word going. Fine is more often then not code for not fine."

"Mads, I've got my ex-fiancé and possibly a crazed, psychotic terrorist chasing me, other-worldly secrets on my shoulders and the beginnings of a killer headache. Fine is as good as your gonna get."

"Still, your different to what you were yesterday-and don't try arguing with me, I'm a major in human behaviour."

"Yes, you're a smartarse, I know."

"Pot calling the kettle back there, honey."

"Would you two please be quiet and let the rest of us enjoy our meal in peace?" Danny asked, exasperated. "Really, act your ages."

"Shut up."

oOo

"Evie! Evie! Evie! Evie! Evie! EVIE!"

"WHAT?" I yelled back to the incessant calling of my name, which was getting more and more panicked with each call. I shut the old photo album I'd been flicking through and left it on my bed.

"What is wrong, for gods' sakes? Is someone dying?" I bounced down the stairs and strode over to our 'command centre' as Yas called it.

"There may be a problem…or two." Jay replied, giving me a quick glance before returning his attention to the phone call he was in the middle of.

I sighed. "Great. What?"

"Th-there's a-another one." Tess whispered, daring a peak at the offending monitor screen.

"Another one…? Oh." My eyes widened when I realised problem number one. "Oh." There was a giant russet wolf relaxing comfortably not far inside the tree line. My heart beat a little faster. Jake… "Uh…um, don't worry about him. There's no problem, Tess. He won't hurt you."

Maddy was gauging me with a calculating expression, her eyes flicked between me and the video screen once before she sat back in her chair, relaxing. She knew. "Crisis averted, ladies."

"How?" Yas demanded. "I don't like being watched. I'm a watcher, not a watched. What if it's got rabies? Can't we just put it out of its misery?"

I couldn't help the brief moment of terror that flooded me, or the incredulous look I gave our trainee. "Yasmine! They do not have rabies!"

"They could!"

"We're not shooting Eva's soul mate, and that's final." Maddy declared in her never-failing no-bullshit-CEO's voice.

"That's Jacob Black?" Tess gaped, giving the screen her full, rapt attentions. "He's…uh…he's…"

"Hairy." Yas decided, with a sharp nod. "Evie, babe, your man's a total dog. Literally."

"Wolf. He's a wolf." I muttered, unable to resist the urge to correct her. I knew how much Jake hated the dog puns.

"Humanity is still possible, though, right?" CJ asked, putting her hand on my shoulder and leaning forward a little to get a better look. "I mean…the others seemed…normal-ish."

"They eat like every meal is going to be their last, but that's the wolf's appetite. Otherwise…their cheeky, gutter-minded and have an unhealthy addiction to football."

"Oh, so just men, then?"

"Pretty much."

"I know all this, but it's still difficult to wrap one's mind around." Danny said, curling an arm around his wife's waist.

I smiled a little. "Yah, definitely…difficult. Jake won't hurt us though, he just…"

"Can't stay away?" Maddy offered, grinning. "We ignore the russet wolf, people. Jay, what's happening with issue two?"

"Issue two?" I frowned.

Jay waved at us and responded to the person he was talking to. Maddy shook her head. "Alright, since his majesty is still busy, one of his sources dropped in a tip that Usman Ahmed has reached New York. Jay's trying to organise an under-the-radar team to trail him, but apparently many people are lacking spines."

Usman…I'd never actually heard him called by his given name before. It was always 'General', though to everyone's knowledge, he had never been military. "I wouldn't be too keen on the idea either." I mumbled, mentally forcing the bloody memories away. "Do we know if he's checked my place?"

Maddy shook her head. "Not yet."

"So in reality there are problems we can do absolutely nothing about, correct?"

"Nothing yet, honey." CJ rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. "It will just take time. They all make mistakes eventually, and when they do, we'll be ready."

My gazed wandered back to the screen where Jake was still lazing, looking like he was half-asleep. "But how much time?"

oOo

The clock, I swear, had something against me. But then, so did everything else it seemed. Every time I looked at the damn thing, only a handful of minutes had passed since the last time I'd looked at it.

Then, everyone else decided against going to bed at a reasonable hour! It was nine o'clock before Tess finally gave in to my insistence to leave her equipment in my capable hands and go to bed. Training then had me unwilling to leave the house for anywhere between thirty to sixty minutes, to give everyone time to fall asleep and leave my quick field trip undetected.

I had to go back into the woods. I just had to.

"Damn the damn clock." I muttered under my breath, glancing at the mocking device mounted on the wall above the kitchen door. Thirty-seven minutes had passed since Tess went to bed. Wasn't that enough?

"Calm down, calm down….breathe...breathe…" I exhaled out through my nose slowly. Patience, patience is needed here. Jake isn't going to disintegrate in the next half hour. Damnit! "He'll be there. He'll be there." I hadn't said I'd meet him anywhere. I just…had the unfathomable need to see him. Now!

"I'm sure he will be."

I jumped and whirled around to stare at Maddy. She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Uh…"

"So you have seen Black in wolf form before today. I wasn't sure if you had or if the imprinting somehow just made you aware it was him."

I laughed, nervously. "Yeah, uh, I might've run into him last night…when I went for a walk…"

She shook her head. "It's pointless telling you not to do anything, isn't it?"

"Pretty much." I smiled, guiltily. "I was perfectly safe the whole time though. Jake was with me nearly straight away. I seriously don't think any human would be mad enough to attack me when he was around, I mean have you seen him? I mean, not that I need the help anyway, but you know, to make you feel better…"

She held up a hand and chuckled. "Evie, you're rambling. Calm down, hun, I'm not mad. Since when do you answer to anyone anyway? I'm glad you've seen him, and it must've went well, given the current situation. Unless you're off to get rid of him or something…"

"No! No, it went well. I mean, sorta, I mean kind of…urgh! Maddy!"

She laughed, properly this time. Apparently my frustration was very amusing. "It's kind of refreshing to see you like this."

"Cruel bitch. You like seeing me in this kind of tongue tied, hopeless situation?"

"It's hardly a hopeless situation. Paybacks a bitch, remember how I was when I started going out with Dan? Remember how much you mocked me for being 'such a love struck moron'?"

"I meant that in the best way possible." I defended, pouting. "And you so were! Followed by still are!"

She grinned. "And now, you are, too."

I paused for a moment…then face-palmed. "I know! It's horrible! Please tell me how to make it stop?"

"I don't know any way to make it stop, hun." She said gently, walking over to me and taking my hand, leading me over to the lounge. "Is it such a bad thing?"

"Yes! No! No…I don't know! I was upset last night, as soon as I knew it was him I just fell apart. I cried, Maddy! Cried! Because I was with him! But then…it was like I couldn't help myself, I had to touch him, had to sit with the giant dog…and I was still upset, but when he was touching me, I felt…not alone. I could feel his presence, could feel it in my soul. Not the normal bone-tingly feeling we get usually, but my soul, Mads. I still hurt, but it was bearable…for once."

She nodded slowly, absorbing my words very seriously. "Sounds like the beginnings of a lost cause to me, Eves."

I dropped my head into my hands, whimpering miserably. "I know! I know…but what about Jake? How is it fair to him?"

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it'll be much better for him if you love him, compared to if you didn't. It's a nasty thing, loving and not being loved back."

"But my life expectancy isn't all that great!"

"You will live through this, Eves." She interrupted firmly.

I sighed. "Stop saying that. The whole, 'tell yourself something often enough and eventually you'll believe it' thing is a load of crap. Someone needs to start seeing the real odds of this with me. I'm a spy, with countless people around the world who would like nothing better than to see me dead. They'd even bring popcorn to the finale!"

"Have you ever considered telling Jake?"

I stared at her blankly. "Tell him I'm a spy."

"Yes."

"That's strictly forbidden. Immediate family isn't even permitted to know, you know that!"

"What's this?" She fanned herself dramatically. "A rule Eva Hanson won't break? The shock!"

I smacked her arm. "Drama Queen, shut it! This is serious! You got off easy, 'cause you married one of our own."

"Tess's boyfriend knows about her, and the world is still turning." She shrugged. "I don't see the harm in telling your spouse. Relationships cannot be built on lies. You admitted it, you love Jacob Black…."

"Woah woah, I didn't say I love him. I like him, a lot. Love is too soon for my current mental stability to deal with."

"Fine. But it's only a matter of time. Still, the same thing applies. If you want any sort of chance with him, you have to start with the truth. He deserves that."

"Even you don't know every truth. I don't know if I'm even capable of saying most of it. What would he think then?" The possibilities were…horrifying.

Her smile was gentle, and understanding. "He already loves you. It will work out. It may be hard, but it'll be worth it in the long run."

I sniffed and leaned over to hug her. "Can I ask you a question?"

She scoffed softly. "Since when do you require permission?"

I smiled. True. "When did you know you were in love with Danny?"

Mads was quiet for a moment, and I could picture the thoughtful look she'd be sporting. "When he spilt a cup of his hideous black coffee down the front of my new white blouse. That moment, I knew I loved him."

I wrinkled my nose. "How in the hell did that make up your mind for you? I'd have strangled him."

She chuckled. "Exactly. He lived. Now, go and see your werewolf."

I surprised myself with the speed I wielded bolting out the front door.

oOo

My breath fogged in the slightly chilly air. Cool enough to make my glad I was wearing sweat pants instead of boxers tonight. And shoes, I'd remembered shoes.

The forest once again had the familiar feeling to it, like I could be safe here, at peace.

I breathed out again just so I could watch the reaction. The moon was bright once more, giving everything that beautiful silver glow. The breeze was there, but gentle, barely strong enough to rustle the leaves in the pines.

I hadn't been walking long, perhaps a hundred or so metres past the dense tree line from the house, when I felt it.

The feeling seemed to wrap around me like a blanket to ward off the chill. It wasn't surprising or abrupt, just there one second when it hadn't been before.

I stopped and slowly turned in a full circle, trying to see if I could pick where he was. I couldn't. There was no sign of anything. You'd think a giant wolf would stick out like a sore thumb, but no.

"Okay, I know your there, but be damned if I can see you." I mumbled under my breath, squinting my eyes to try and see further into the surrounding trees.

Laughter. Low, husky male laughter floated to me on the sparse breeze.

Human…? I whipped my head in that direction and my gaze immediately settled on Jake, leaning against one the massive trunks off to my right. Shirtless, but a pair of tattered old cut offs hung low on his hips.

"Do you enjoy sneaking around after me?" I asked, stepping over a fallen log to go to him.

He shrugged, and the closer I got, the easier I could make out the grin on his face. "You make enough noise that even a human could've found you."

I grunted. "I wanted you to be able to find me."

"Evie, I knew the moment you left the house. You don't have to make noise."

"I'll remember that."

He smiled, and reached out a hot hand to gently brush a stray strand of hair off my cheek. "So did you come out here just to see me? Or do you just like wandering off in the middle of the night?"

I swatted at his hand, then tucked that strand behind my ear and continued walking. He fell in time with me in milliseconds. "Can I answer both?"

"Of course."

"What about you? Have you been watching me all this time?"

"When Sam and the others aren't here, even then, I'm never far away. In case you need me."

I chuckled. "Not the damsel in distress kinda girl, Black."

"Hey, you might need me for other things." His grin was cheeky, and made me hit him, even as it was infectious and made me laugh.

"Smartarse."

Rubbing his 'injured' arm, smile still plastered to his face, he walked on. "I still don't understand how you can hit me-and not hurt yourself."

I do. Unsure if I really wanted him to know that just yet, I smiled and shrugged. "Lucky, I guess."

"What brings you out tonight?"

"An endless search for peace of mind, Mr Black." I answered, purposefully trying to confuse him, because hey, it's fun. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, and found him watching me. "You seem to give it to me, for a little while."

"Are you complementing me?" He asked, feigning shock, going so far as to put a hand over his heart. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I can take it back, you smartarse." I threatened.

He grinned, and brushed the backs of his knuckles down my arm. "I'm sorry, I'm just…"

I smirked. "I know. I can tell. You're like a little kid after a lolly binge."

"Is it bothering you?"

I shook my head. "Surprisingly, no."

If possible, his smile got even wider. "Where were you going?"

"I have absolutely no idea. I only planned up to finding you…then, I got nothing."

"Beach?"

I shrugged noncommittally and nodded. "Sure."

He slung a large, warm arm around my shoulders with a leg-melting grin, and then paused. "You're not going to hit me for that, are you?"

"Mmm…tempting, but, nah."

If possible, his smile got even better, and I swore my heart actually skipped a beat just looking at him in that moment. "Great! Let's go!"

A/N: Okie dokie, there you go, finally! :D

Now…I have no idea when there will be another update. My next job is about 3-4 hours away so I don't know if I'll even be making it home on the weekends! I will endeavour to reply to your reviews this time and at least keep you posted on where I am. TRY TO! I can't make promises, sorry!

Hope you have a lovely day, starting to feel winter here-yaay -_- lol.

Love to all,

Meg xx