ART OF DECEPTION, continued
From the death-cell confession of Kevya of Morvogrod -
I love Sasha Tomitky more, perhaps, than I have ever loved any other creature.
Ah, I see from your faces what you are thinking. Sasha and I are both malebeasts, and not even the same species. Well, of course I am not talking about that kind of love ... although, if I were, you would no doubt label that a crime too, and persecute me for it even had I committed no other offense. But my actual offenses are almost too numerous to enumerate, so we'll not get into that ...
Love of the flesh - mating, lovemaking, lust - is a shallow and transitory thing compared to what I am talking about. When two minds meet, when two spirits are in harmony, now that is when creatures can connect in a way that is truly meaningful. I do not make light of romantic passion; sometimes bodies can be shared in a way that is also meaningful. But without some kind of deeper understanding between the participants, some union of their souls, it is all just empty pleasure. Just ... mating.
I know the name of Sasha Tomitky is not looked upon favorably in Morvogrod these days. Ever since Sasha made his escape to Mossflower, and afterwards denounced Morvogrod for the monstrous system that it is, that fox has been anathema in the royal court. You have even erased him from your history books, as you try to eradicate any fact or personage which does not please you or conform to your idea of how things should be. But he did exist, and in spite of your best efforts, his reputation endures beyond Morvogrod.
I of course never met Sasha. How could I have? I was not even born when he made his escape to Mossflower, and was but a babe when he died. But, as I have said, his reputation endured far beyond his own life and personal experiences. Have you ever heard any of his compositions? Oh, I know all of his music is officially banned here in Morvogrod, but the higher-placed functionaries such as yourselves often indulge in things which are officially banned. Don't deny it; I have seen such transgressions with my own eyes. Of course, it would be difficult to have a symphony concert in secret, but many of Sasha's works could be enjoyed on a smaller scale, with just piano or a string quartet. No, you insist you haven't? It's probably just as well. If any of Sasha's music were to be played in Morvogrod today, it would undoubtedly be the some of the horrendous, unimaginative drivel he was forced to compose for the royal court under Yosef, most terrible of all of Morvogrod's tyrants. You have not truly heard any of Sasha Tomitky's music until you have experienced the compositions he created here in secret, for his own satisfaction, or those he wrote in Mossflower, after he was free from the yoke of Morvogrod's artistic oppression. That is his real music, to which his "official" pieces cannot begin to compare.
I have never heard his music played by a symphony, a string ensemble, or even on a piano. The music of my homeland Argochad tends to be more of the simple folk variety, representative of that region. But other influences do creep across national boundaries. And music is, after all, the language that everybeast can understand, regardless of the dialect they speak.
There was a mole who came to my village during the seasons of my training. He came to us from Mossflower, to aid us in our struggle against the Morvogrod occupation. Yes, news of your tyranny does travel far indeed. Anyway, this mole had known Sasha Tomitky personally in the composer's later seasons, and had learned many of Sasha's pieces. He played an instrument which was rather like a cross between a lute and a zither. You might wonder that his massive digging claws did not get stuck in the strings, but they never did, such was the level of his dedication to his musical craft. I am sure it was not the best way to hear Sasha's music, but it was the only way available to me, and I was captivated. It was not like any music I had ever heard before, and it opened up a whole new world for me. Even as I was creating my own beautiful art for ultimately murderous purposes, it was comforting to know that there was still beauty in the world that had nothing to do with dark intent.
And then I was told of his story. If his music had not been enough to move me, his personal circumstances most certainly would have. For any true talent to have his skills abducted by an unfeeling and uncaring regime, to be told what kind of art to make, to be forbidden from truly expressing yourself under pain of punishment, unless it was late at night in the secret confines of whatever private space you could carve out for yourself - and then not dare risk showing your true artistry to anybeast - that is a story that wrenched my heart. Yes, that was exactly what I had volunteered to do, to put my artistic abilities at the complete disposal of the tyrants of Morvogrod ... but I had an underlying purpose to my art, one that had nothing to do with artistic satisfaction or fulfillment. I would do whatever was necessary to place myself close to my intended victim. Sasha had no such agenda, and was wholly unprepared for the circumstances in which he found himself. And while I pretended to be meek, for Sasha it was no act. The idea of a beast as sensitive and fragile as he, caught in the crushing machinations of the Morvogrodian system, was almost torturous for me to even contemplate.
I had the mole play me every piece of Sasha's that he knew, over and over again. There were a few of the official court compositions in there, but mostly it was Sasha's real music, that he made away from the eyes and ears of the Morvogrod court. Hearing the beauty of it, knowing how that beauty had been smothered for so many seasons until Sasha's liberation, knowing that he was driven sometimes to the point of despair and to the very brink of suicide by the hopelessness of his situation ... all of this fueled my hatred of Morvogrod and solidified my resolve to carry on with my mission of assassination. It was bad enough seeing firstpaw how my own homeland was suffering under Morvogrod's occupation, but to learn that their tyranny had been terrorizing beasts since long before my birth, that made me want to kill every Morvogrodian soldier I saw, made me want to march straight to the royal court myself without waiting for Lebrevnya's invitation and let the dictator know my blade. But my teachers instilled great patience in me, and so I bided my time.
I am glad that I did. By staying true to my plan, I was able to kill Lebrevnya, and then Kosturnya as well. And then came Yurdurov ... and that made my patience the most worthwhile of all.