Hi everyone. First off let me start off by saying I'm sorry. This should have been posted a heck of a lot sooner, but things have been super crazy here. I went on leave for Christmas, then once I got back I moved, then we had to prepare for an inspection at work, next I threw myself into studying for my advancement exam, and then some horrible crazy drama happened with my family. Honestly, I would have posted this sooner if I wasn't so crazy busy. So, I'm sorry for the long wait but things are calmed down now so hopefully I can get this finished quickly. I'm going to try to post another chapter right after this one and then the story will be done I think. Well anyway, thank you for sticking with it! Enjoy!

Same warnings as usual: angst, violence, drug use, etc. Malexmale don't like don't read.

Chapter 8

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I was floating in darkness. Every now and then a flash of light would appear but I could never tell exactly what direction it was coming from. If I really strained I could make out faces in those flashes of light. But I never did know who they were. I was beginning to think that this was it, I would never make it back to my Duo now; my Duo, my love. The mere thought of him brought me warmth and comfort as I continued to float in the empty vastness that surrounded me.

Many hours, minutes, or maybe even days later, I'm not sure how long it was, but I know it certainly felt like I was floating there for eternity, I finally started to hear. The sounds were light at first mere whisperings on the non-existant wind. Steadily they grew louder and more bold as I strained to make out even one word. "…ee…" The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I needed more to really know so I listened harder. "…twenty five…" then another voice "dosage too…." The longer I listened the more I could hear and the clearer the words became, the lighter the emptiness I was in turned. I was no longer floating in black but more of an off white by now. "I'm telling you! That dosage was too high!" said the one voice before the other slightly recognizable one heatedly replied, "Not for him you imbecile! Did you forget who we are dealing with?" I was now floating in a fully white space and was very aware of everything that was being said around me, but could still see nothing. The voices; above me? Below me? Maybe beside me. Wherever they were they continued to argue.

"If the dosage was not too high then why hasn't he awakened yet?" the second voice again

"Damned if I know! He's the super human not me! Maybe he is awake and is just pretending to still be unconscious. I've heard that he is very good at that." Replied the first voice as I tried to piece together just what was going on and who they were. My mind was really fuzzy and I couldn't remember much of anything. Where was I? What happened? I continued to float in my now white empty space and listened and wandered. I could hear many sounds now, the clank of metal hitting metal as something was dropped, the rub of what sounded like latex gloves together, the quick inhale and exhale of the two people on the 'outside' and every rub of fabric against something smooth. It was a very strange state to be in. To be able to hear but not see, speak, or feel. There was a small nagging in the back of my head that I was forgetting something very important, but if it was forgotten then what was I supposed to do about it? I would have sighed if I had lips in which to make sounds with, or vocal cords for that matter, but at the moment I was a weightless, bodiless, being just floating in a void white space. I was neither hungry, nor tired, nor was I cold or weary. I felt as though perhaps I would be better off staying here but everytime that thought would so much as cross my mind, a flash of something else would go across. Something I couldn't make out, it was purple, I could tell that much.

After much pondering and floating, I noticed a small light form in the distance. It seemed like a good idea to follow that light. It was warm, and somehow comforting, and it drew me to it. Just as I was about it reach it a strong feminine voice stopped me in my tracks. "You do not need to go that way just yet, Heero Yuy." I frowned, or at least I think I did. "Heero Yuy….I guess that's me…." The voice let out a sigh and then before me as if it was just blinked into existence was a young woman. She looked strangely familiar but I could not have told you anything about her. Her presence into my space brought with it a radiance unlike any other and I thought to myself, 'Ah, an angel. I figured I would meet one eventually' She waved her hands and my space became more solid, as did I. I was now 'me' again, a full human; arms, legs and all. We were standing in a room swathed in white, it was really unnerving actually. It had four white featureless walls, a white couch pushed up against one wall with two white reclining chairs beside it. Set in the middle was a small white coffee table adorned with nothing more than a white vase containing a single white rose. All white, how… boring. She turned to me then and motioned for me to have a seat. I chose the chair furthest away from her.

After a long pause in which she just stared at me, she finally spoke up. "Heero Yuy, do you want to die? Are you ready to die?" I didn't understand her question. Wasn't I already dead? Didn't I just barely exist right now? I looked at her then, trying to see where I remembered her from. She had dark brown hair spilling across her shoulders cutting a sharp contrast against her long white robes. Her eyes were brown as well and large, but kind and inviting. Her smile was broad with large full teeth with thin lips pulled over them. It was as I was studying her that my memories all came back to me. It was as if a damn had broken with me at the bottom. They came at me like a great flood, almost knocking me over and making me gasp. Everything at once, my childhood with Odin, my training with Dr. J, Meeting Duo, the war, the almost second war, the doctor….. But that was where my memories got really muddled. Something wasn't right. Didn't I live with Duo? That's where I knew this woman from! She was the Therapist that Quatre told him about! I blinked, and tried to remember more about his time with Duo. His house…. Anything. But nothing else would form. I looked back up at the woman, silently pleading with her to tell me something and she sadly closed her eyes and shook her head. "Please Heero, come sit beside me and all will be explained." I shakily got to my feet and moved over to sit with her on the couch. Once I was collapsed next to her she slowly started to explain, "You see Heero, My name is Maxine, as you know. But, I am not actually a therapist, I am an angel. I was sent into your soul to try and save you and prevent yet another human war. God does watch over you Heero Yuy, you are his greatest warrior and will one day be an Arc Angel yourself and will proudly protect all of the heavens as you have the earth. But that day has not come yet. We are not yet ready for you. You have not had your reward on earth yet. I am afraid that no matter how much good we try to force upon the earth, the humans still ultimately have the power down there." I nodded sadly understanding all too well what she meant. I nodded at her to continue, "You see Heero, after you ended that second war things were supposed to go a little differently for you. You were supposed to be happy, to finally learn how to truly feel. But unfortunately your unconscious body was stolen by some crazed scientist that used to work under Dr. J. He seemed convinced that if he could get you to go 'Zero' again he could learn to control you and wage another war with you at the head."
I frowned, "That's not how I remember it. I woke up in a hospital with Duo…. I moved in with him… went to work for the preventers, then I went berserk, and they sent me for help and that's how I got to the scientist…." She looked away in pained sadness squeezing her eyes shut for a moment as if fighting off tears. "Oh Heero! Please don't be angry with me! I was only trying to help! I cannot touch you in the physical world only here! I could see into your heart what you wanted so every time you came close to giving up, I would 'create' memories for you. I also did it in hopes that you would never lose any of your true memories to that evil being. I had to constantly watch over you so that whenever you lost consciousness I could quickly plant the fake memory before a real one came up. I have kept up so far, but…." She paused, "my strength goes with yours". I felt my eyes widen in shock. "So… none of it was real? It was all in my head?" She nodded finally allowing a few tears to escape. "I am sorry Heero. But I had to tell you the truth!"
"What about when I killed the Doc? Was that real or not? Cuz it sure FELT real!" She shook her head avoiding my eyes, "I'm sorry Heero, I wasn't able to plant a happy memory into you at that time and when you lost consciousness you dreamed that all on your own. You dreamt what you most wanted. It worked out well though because it allowed me to start planting more memories and start a new story. It was also a subtle way for me to tell you just how much time had passed. Although that back fired because the Duo in the dream got it wrong…." I let my head hang then, whether in defeat or weariness I'm not sure. It was with a long thoughtful pause first that I finally replied to her, "I'm not mad at you, but, you created all of it? Everything?" Her hands flew up to her mouth in surprised manner before a deep blush spread all over her cheeks, "Oh dear! No! I only planted the seeds, it was your own creative mind that came up with everything else." I nodded in understanding. That was good at least, so the 'memories' were my own, but only my own. I sighed in misery and despair then. So I had never had Duo. I looked up at her and saw her swallow once before reaching out to gently take my hand in hers. "I am sorry Heero, but we are short on time and a decision must be made." I raised my eyebrow in confusion before she continued. "You have grown very weak with the doctors meddling, so very weak. You're dying Heero." She gave me a minute to digest this new information I guess to gauge my reaction. I was surprisingly calm about it. A very large part of me felt as if I should just go with it, I was soo tired of fighting. "You can decide Heero. If you do not want to fight anymore we will gladly welcome you home early. Three fourths of a century early isn't that early anyway." She smiled softly.
"So it's my choice huh?"
"Of course Heero, you are being given this choice because you have more than earned it."
"What happens if I go back? You said that your strength goes with mine." She cringed then and once again looked away. "I-I cannot tell you all, but I can give you a gist if you will. You will experience a lot more pain and you will have a long hard road to go until recovery. I will tell you this, if you go back. It will not be long until you are rescued." She smiled then and looked back at me
"How will this be possible?" I asked her smile only got bigger
"Lets just say it was more than time for a little Divine intervention."
I chuckled lightly at that, "I hope this means that I'll have infinitely better luck in the future?" Her smile got bigger this time and she hugged me gently and I felt for the first time what it must be like to be held by a mother. "Oh yes Heero! You most definitely will! So is that your decision then?" I let out a small smile, "I did make a promise not to die, and I have every intention to keep it." She jumped up then and hugged me tightly once more before turning me around to face the back of the room. With a wave of her hand the wall fell away revealing a long dark tunnel with a small light at the end. "You must follow this until the very end." She said before turning me to face her once more. She was crying now, tears flowing freely down her pale slightly reddened cheeks. "I am afraid I will not see you again for some time Heero, but remember I am always with you. I am your guardian angel and always do my best to keep you alive." I smiled back and gently wiped the tears from her eyes, "You have done a wonderful job even if it did hurt like a bitch." Her gentle laughter echoed in the room and I suddenly felt a strong wave of love roll off of her and into me, as if it were air. I felt warmed, comforted, and deeply calm. She grabbed my shoulders and gently turned me back to face the tunnel before pushing me towards it softly. "Now, you must do two things on your journey back. One whatever you do, do not look back. For if you do you will never be able to go forward again, and two, it is going to be very painful the closer you get to the light. You must fight through that pain with all you have. You must not give up! Not even for one minute! The moment you give up, it will be over and you will have no other chance." She pushed me into the tunnel and I slowly started to walk forward being sure not to look back. I heard her whisper, "Good bye dear heart" before her presence was no longer detected. I trudged forward trying to mentally prepare myself for the pain that I knew would come.

It was completely dark all around me except for that small light in the distance. I had been walking for a long time and it didn't seem as if the light had gotten any bigger. I wanted to stop and rest to conserve my strength for when the pain would start but knew that I could not, so instead, I just kept going. My internal clock was telling me that at least two hours had passed and while the light did look bigger I was still a long ways off. I kept going.

Another three hours and the light was still only about the size of my head. I was starting to get frustrated now.

One more hour…..

Another…..

I started counting my footsteps as a way to count the time as well as pass it, two hours later I was bored of counting…

My feet were starting to cramp by the twelfth hour, by the fifteenth my legs were screaming out in protest for rest. And still I continued on, my only thought was reaching Duo.

I started to notice little points of pain by the eighteenth hour. My throat was scratchy and raw and I was getting desperately dehydrated. The light was about half the length of my body by now.

On the twentieth hour my arms started to ache, by half past that they both felt as if they had been broken badly several times and my ribs were aching as well.

The twenty second hour found me near to staggering on two feet that felt broken, raw and bleeding. My lips now were bleeding and my mouth devoid of any and all moisture. My eyes were now gritty and dry to the point that even blinking hurt.

On the start of the twenty third hour I almost screamed in agony as it suddenly felt as if all of my ribs had been snapped in half and it became increasingly hard to breath because of it.

On the twenty fourth hour I finally fell, my legs giving out completely. The light appeared to be right in front of me now and I blinked wearily and slowly started to creep towards it. "Duo…."I rasped out. I was almost there, I had to be! The pain was so incredibly intense that I wanted to just stay where I was and weep. But I made a promise to Duo and I wouldn't go back on that. My legs had become completely useless by this point and so I pulled myself forward by my arms inch by agonizing inch. All of the muscles in my arms burned from over use and my ribs protested wildly to being pressed into the ground in such a way.

Twenty five hours and forty six minutes later I finally reached the light. And when I finally got there a pain more intense then I have ever experienced seized my entire body causing me to scream out. It was as if fire and lightening was pouring through my veins infecting every inch of me. The only thing free was my head, which was only registering the pain everywhere else. I collapsed into the light just as it seemed to grab me and engulf me. After that I knew only darkness.

I tried to pry my eyes open slowly afraid to be hit by unexpected light but instead saw only dark. I blinked a few times and tried to move. As I suspected my arms and legs were still tied down to the operating-like table. I sighed, hoping that what Maxine had said was true and that I would be rescued soon. I just wanted Duo. I still hurt all over, it felt like they had intentionally broken every bone in my body. There wasn't an inch of me that wasn't sore. I tried to hold it back but couldn't help myself as I let a small pain-filled moan escape past my lips. I shouldn't have tried to move. It hurt entirely too much. As soon as the sound passed my lips I heard footsteps running my direction and before I knew what was happening the light was back on overhead and the doctors face was in mine.

It was another voice that spoke up first though, "He's awake! Amazing! I would stake my life on the fact that he was dead not 24 hours ago!" The Doc currently staring at me hissed in impatience, "Shut up you fool! I told you he would wake! You forget who we work with!" I wanted to glare at that but instead focused on keeping myself neutral. I had decided that it would be best to play along with him that I only remember my soldier training and nothing else. Fighting was mostly all I remember anyway, so it wasn't a complete lie. The Doc smirked at me then and pulled my eyelids up to shine a light in my eyes before giving me a complete physical, well as best he could with me lying down anyway. Looking me in the eyes once more he spat out, "Who are you?" I gave him my best soldier glare and made like I was going to start fighting my bonds. "Who are you?" I demanded trying my best to sound as if this was all new to me. I am no actor but I hoped I could fool these guys. The Doc chuckled, "I am just a lowly scientist trying to figure out what makes the perfect soldier tick. That is all." My scowl deepened, "Are you with OZ?" I demanded trying to weasel something out of them to make my case more realistic. The Doc threw his head back then and laughed. "No, no my little Heero, I am not a part of those nobody imbeciles. But, you are going to fight for me now." I tried to look confused at that, "Are you another representative of the colonies? Did Dr. J send you?" He sighed, "No, I am myself and I represent myself, and my followers of course. We want another war. I want to see the Gundams in action again. Especially yours; Wing Zero." I growled and turned away in scorn, "You're crazy old man. That Gundam is nothing but a menace. Its near impossible to control that system, it controls you." I turned my face back to his, fighting against the pain that sprang up with even that small of a movement "Why pick me? I can control the Zero system. Wouldn't it make more sense for you to use someone that can't? I mean it works better on the weaker willed. It shows the best possible strategies and forces the 'user' to do what it wants." He looked a bit bewildered by my statement. 'Some scientist' I thought, 'he hasn't even figured out the most basic functions of the Zero system.' He 'hmmm'd' and stepped out of my line of site before returning and leaning down into my face once more. "You're right! Why didn't I think of it before! It doesn't have to be you! Why, with the right equipment, it could even be me!" He made a squeal of delight before quickly turning away, calling out "Jeremy! You grimy pig! Where are you!" I heard him practically dance away and for the first time since, well I don't know when, I finally allowed myself to hope. If he used the Zero system on himself it would break him. I smirked in satisfaction. The idiot hadn't even done any real research on the system, he just thought he could break me and use me as his little puppet. I told him just enough truth to get him to leave me alone, but not enough to let him know what the Zero system would do to someone that's not even a pilot much less a soldier of any kind. Hell, even the mad 5 had been afraid of it. I seriously doubt if they tested it on themselves in any way.

They left the light on this time and I tentatively looked as best I could to see if anything had changed. From what I could tell, not much had. Which was a good thing, I guess. I sighed and decided to let my beaten body get some sleep. I really felt terrible and I would about kill for some water right about now. I was so tired that it only took a thought before I was out.

I was startled awake by a loud crashing sound in the background. I jerked on my restraints and listened to what sounded like a scuffle in the next room. Things were crashing down all over the place and there was yelling and screaming followed by several rounds of gunfire. Was I being rescued? I continued to listen trying my best to figure out just what was happening. I then heard the Doctor let out a hoarse cry of, "My research! How dare you!" before there were more gun shots followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"C-mon guys! Theres another room back here!" called a muffled voice from the next room. I strained against my bonds to try and see what was happening but it was useless. The bonds were too tight and I was simply too weak to even try. I was completely worn out from struggling after just a moment and fought to keep my eyes open. My eyes were just drifting closed as the door opened and several people came storming in. It was too late though I was loosing consciousness and couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. A blurry figure leaned over me and I got just a glimpse of something deep purple before my eyes shut and darkness once again consumed me.

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Ok! I was going to make this chapter longer, but I thought that was a perfect stopping point so decided to end it there. Don't be too mad though the other chapter will be up very soon I promise! I may even post it up right after this one, who knows! Reviews on this one please!

-Tsuzukinyo