Inuyasha was sitting at his doorstep, his face within his hands. The past three days were a nightmare straight from Gatenmaru. How could it come to this? He turned the events of the last nine years over and over in his head till his temples throbbed but he couldn't come up with a single answer. All around the hut the wind wailed in desolation and blew away into mile after mile of echoing lament – his regret that dyed every maple leaf crimson in the bleeding sun. Almost like déjà vu he found himself thinking – as he let out a heart-rending sigh – it wasn't supposed to be like this.
That night – that horrible night he had woken up to a strange uneasiness. As his senses cleared, he realized with a jolt that Kagome's scent was missing from the hut. He went out to search for her, amid the ceaseless spears of rain and hail that pelted him without mercy. He couldn't sense her anywhere – the rain must have washed her scent away. He called her name but the thunder drowned out his anguished cries. Sick with worry, he instinctively turned towards goshinboku – the tree that was so integral to their relationship. And there, amid the fallen leaves and branches, he discerned her prone silhouette. She appeared to be sleeping, but for the driving rain that was soaking her to her very bones. He approached her warily, not knowing what fate had befallen her, and then he smelled her blood – so much blood!
Blind with panic, he barely registered the massive wound on her head before he scooped her up and headed for Kaede's. The distance that he covered in two bounds now seemed light years away. Somehow he tumbled on to the residence of the older priestess and handed over his precious cargo to her. Another trip from hope deposited his son on Kaede's doorstep, before he headed north to fetch Miroku and Sango.
The houshi was thunderstruck to hear the news, but Sango had a strange – almost knowing look on her face as she absorbed the information. Neither of them wasted any time in travelling back to Kaede's with their three children, using Kirara and Hachi. Since then they had immersed themselves into helping Kaede take care of the injured woman. Night and day they would sit beside Kagome, dressing her wound, coaxing food past her lips, trying a thousand medicines to bring her back to consciousness. It was after the third day when Sango came out for a breather, away from the others, that Inuyasha had accosted her.
"Tell me why", he asked her, "you didn't look surprised when I told you about Kagome being injured." He knew that coming straight to the point was the best approach with the no-nonsense slayer.
"Of course I was surprised, Inuyasha. As much as Miroku was", she replied.
"But you had expected something of the sort, hadn't you?"
Sango sighed and sat down on the grass, motioning for Inuyasha to sit as well.
"Inuyasha, what I say might be disturbing for you to hear. And I might be wrong as well, 'cos I haven't been around since summer and things change."
"Please get to the point."
Sango was surprised at the pain and anxiety hiding in Inuyasha's voice. She felt an immense sadness for the young couple who could never sort things out between themselves. This time, one of them might have gone a step too far.
"I'm talking about the time when I was living here. There were days when Kagome-chan would feel lonely. She had neither her family nor friends in this era. At times even you were gone. I was the only one she could pour her heart out to."
"I know that."
"She was not happy, Inuyasha. She said she didn't get the same level of attention from you that Kikyou used to get. She said that she wasn't even sure if her being here actually made any difference to you."
Inuyasha felt as if a blow had sucked the wind out of him. "She…she said that? That her being here doesn't make a difference to me?"
Sango continued gravely. "She used to say that the only times she could feel your love was back when danger used threaten her and you needed to protect her. She would talk about putting herself in that situation again. To test if you would still care enough to come to her rescue."
"She'd never think that way! Not my Kagome."
"She certainly thought that way, but she never acted that way. She'd think of you and her son…your son…and then she'd put the idea out of her head. Since I went away to live with Mushin-sama I lost touch with her, until one day you barged in with the news that she was gravely injured and it all just added."
"You think she…but that's impossible Sango. A branch fell on her head. It was an accident. It couldn't have been…" he couldn't even bring himself to say the word. Even the idea was too terrible.
"I'm not saying anything of that sort. I'm simply asking you a question. What was a married woman doing out of her home at the dead of the night, wandering in the forest amidst a hailstorm? That's all I want to know."
Sango had walked away after that but the question stuck to Inuyasha like one of Shippou's irritating mushrooms. It tortured and tormented him as he trudged laboriously up the forest, all the way to his hut where he had gone to get some fresh supplies.
Why Kagome? What compelled you to leave your home at the dead of the night? You said you are not happy with me? But we are so good together. I thought we covered so much ground…from enemies we became friends, then comrades, partners, mates, lovers…we are the golden couple, envied by all. We are raising a beautiful child together. But now it's like we are back to square one. All lies? Just empty lies? I never paid any attention to you? I thought I was doing such a good job of providing for you and our son, wrapping the both of you in every luxury…if I knew I was making you unhappy in the process I'd have never set a foot out of the hut…ever.
A thousand lost moments, a thousand regrets…one by one the maple leaves kept falling. Under the ashen skies a horrible realization was spreading its icy roots across his heart, nearly choking his breath. She doesn't know how I feel for her. What if I never get a chance to say it? No…I lost her once to Time, I can't lose her to Fate as well…my Kagome…
…to be continued.