What You Don't Know (Part 2)
By: The Villain's Vindication
It was yet another year before Odin fell again into an Odinsleep. There were many things to be done, of course, but one rushed to the top of Thor's list when he heard the news.
After the day's works, Thor flew down to Heimdall. His year apart from the nameless woman had not diminished his need of her, not a drop. He had Midgard back now that the BiFrost was operational and he had a good life with Jane, but never could he forget the woman who got him back on his feet. He doubted he would have ever set foot outside Asgard again without her interference in his life, the loss of Loki to great on his conscience. So she was always in the back of his mind, he did feel bad at times, perhaps it was a betrayal to his beloved Jane, but he could do nothing to stop it.
As he walked toward Heimdall, he watched the great man's shoulders heave a sign. This only irritated Thor further as he already had a certain grudge against him since that night a year ago. "You already know what I am going to ask-"
"And you," Heimdall interrupted, "already know what I am going to say." Thor's eyes turned murderous, "Heimdall you-"
"What you seek is hidden from my sight," he stated plainly. Thor's anger became mixed with confusion, "But nothing can be hidden from you sight. You see all... except... " This time it was Thor's thoughts that interrupted him. Could it be? "Loki... he lives?" Heimdall's frown became more pronounced, have no love lost between himself and Loki. "Indeed he does, though he hides his stronghold well from my eyes. I have only seen him on the rare occasion." Thos's shock was so great he dropped his hammer and sat upon it. Loki lives? All this time he mourned his brother, "Why did he not return?"
"To this you also already know the answer," Thor nodded solemnly. He knew the treacherous actions of Loki were not so easily forgiven by others as they were by himself. He had not asked Odin what he thought of the matter as the point was moot as everyone thought Loki dead. But if Heimdall knew, then... "Father knows this? Has known this all along? Has done nothing?" Thor rose to his feet, his anger quick to return. His father had as good as banished Loki in this way, but banishment was not such a surprise from Odin. Especially for so great a slight as this but in all his mourning his father had not once tried to console him with even the possibility of Loki's survival. He blinked a few more times, letting the complications of the situation fall away and letting the joy of the discovery fill him. His brother lives! Thor turned back to Heimdall, "So where has he been hiding?"
"Loki has built himself a kingdom on Jotunheim." Thor nodded, he had suspected that at the least that is where the portal had taken Loki. But a kingdom? Loki was still as power hungry as ever, but at least he actually can be a rightful king on Jotunheim. Loki's Hidden Kingdom, it has a nice ring to it, Thor thought. But, sidetracked as he was, the word hidden did remind Thor of what news he actually sought to find by way of Heimdall. "The Lady, Heimdall. Where is she? I command that you tell me," Thor's anger had been derailed at finding his brother alive, but he was as determined as ever. "I already told you, young king, what you seek is hidden from me," Heimdall replied patiently. "She... she is with Loki then?" Thor could not believe his ear. All this time with his brother on Jotunheim, did that mean she was a Jotun as well? Perhaps she was a small one as Loki, perhaps, even, she was some long lost relative of his.
Thor's imagination ran wild with possibilities, all avoiding what he feared. That she was Loki's bride.
Njor, one of the smaller of his subjects and his personal guard came crashing into the throne room. "My liege, the BiFrost has just let someone through to our world. A man, my lord. Thor."
Loki was immediately on his feet. "Tell everyone to stand down, Thor will most likely kill any of us who get in his way."
"But my lord-"
"No," Loki looked at him with eyes that softened the harsh tone of his voice, "there are so few of us already. Do not make me see more bloodshed on my account." The giant nodded and ran out to relay the message. Loki was so tense, his mind racing so, that he did not even breathe until the silence was broken by a soft pitter-pattering down at his feet. He looked down and smiled, though he could yet not relax with his brother on the way. He reached to the small form stumbling by him and picked him up into his arms, "how in the world did you get out here, little one?" The only response he got from his son was a surprisingly wicked smirk. Loki signed and looked to the sky, he supposed he deserved such a crafty child as penance for his own mischief.
He put his finger on the boy's tiny nose and made some rather embarrassing noises himself. This child had softened his heart more than he would ever admit. His love for the little bastard grew by the day, even with his exhausting antics.
Loki's smile was ripped from his face as his palace doors began opening without his permission. He quickly vanished the boy back to his room, praying for once he would stay there.
As Thor burst into the impressive hall, his eyes fell on his brother. Even knowing what he was to find here he was still overwhelmed at the sight of his kin. "Thor," Loki grimaced as he turned to greet the man, "what a… pleasant surprise." He smiled sarcastically up at the taller man. Thor must have been in quite a hurry to reach him so quickly. Loki hadn't the time to think on what he might want or what he would do if Thor found him out.
Thor ignored his brother's weary gaze and came at him with a great hug. "Oh brother, you know not how happy I am to see you well," Loki squirmed out of Thor's grasp as quickly as he could. He had to will himself not to be reminded of that night when his brother held him in a very different manner. "Quite," is the only response he could come up with, still distracted by his treacherous memories. Loki brushed off Thor's imaginary cooties from his clothing to stall for time. "And what, dear brother, would have you visiting me?"
Thor just continued to beam at him, "I only just discovered that you were alive. I would have, of course, come sooner if only I had known."
"So you came just to see me? The wanted criminal for high treason?" Loki raised an elegant eye brow in his direction as he turned to sit in his throne. He knew nothing would make him look imposing to Thor, but it wasn't beneath him to try, "I'll have you know I shant be returning to Asgard for execution."
His brother's face drained of color, "No… no, I did not come for such a gruesome purpose. I can forgive you for your trespasses as I myself now know the madness grief brings." Thor looked away from Loki's gaze, a bit ashamed of his actions over the past two years. "Actually…" he began, "there is another whom I wished to find here. I was told by Heimdall that…"
Loki rolled his eyes as his brother drifted off. Honestly, Thor could never keep one train of thought for more than two seconds. He looked up in amusement at his brother's gawking face and turned to look at what had derailed him so. It was probably one of his magicked statues come to give him a report from one of the more distant states.
What he saw was his own damnedable son gnawing on the handle of Mjolnir which Thor had dropped in his haste to hug Loki.
The harried father was up in a flash of green, "no, little Veðr. Mjolnir is a foe too great for you to yet conquer." He could not help but smile at the boy's feeble attempts at moving the hammer into a better position to chew on. Scooping the child up into his arms he knew somewhere along the way someone had cursed him with the worst luck. Surely no one got what he wished for less than poor Loki.
"You have a son." Loki's lips pressed into a thin line, "yes," he replied, turning to face Thor, "quite a detective you have become in my absence."
Thor, as ever, chose to ignore the slight and stepped closer to the youngling. "And you are called Veðr? The Windy Storm? What trouble you must give your father to garner such a name." He smiled at the little one noting his dark, ash grey hair and bright, nearly colorless grey eyes.
"He does look to match his name, Loki. Like a thunderous cloud he is." Loki flinched at the mentioning of thunder, he was glad he had settled on the name Veðr as opposed to his original thought of naming him Prumði meaning both lie and thunder. He knew that might make it a bit too obvious, though storm was not all that far off it was certainly the more subtle of the two.
Thor took no notice of his discomfort. He was fascinated by the tiny creature in his brother's arms. He reached out a bit towards the child but Loki stepped back out of his reach.
"Thor, please," Loki's voice sincere for once, "the boy is little and knows you not. You may frighten him." His brother reluctantly nodded and straightened. "What a wondrous thing it must be to have a child. Will you not tell Odin that he is a grandfather?"
Loki glared at him, "Odin is no father of mine and thusly no relation at all to Veðr." Thor sighed, he supposed this was one fight he would never win for it was indeed true that Loki was no Odinson. But he brightened when he noticed though, "yet you still call me brother." His smile was enough to break his face, but Loki only rolled his eyes once more. "Sentimental fool," he muttered to himself.
Deep in his heart though, he was very grateful for Thor's easy forgiveness. He truly thought he would never have his brother's love again after all his trickery. He looked back to Thor as the man began to speak, "As I started before to say, I came also here to search for the woman who holds my heart. Heimdall tells me she hides here with you. And with this child before me, I fear you have already taken her for your own for surely none could resist her charms." Loki nearly dropped Veðr at this proclamation.
The woman who holds his heart?
"Surely you jest, brother," Loki started to cover up his surprise, "I know of your Midgardian woman. Surely one is enough for you?" Thor actually looked guilty at this, pulling at his hair in a way Loki had not seen since they were children.
"Tis true that Jane is a fine woman, but something in me just won't rest without this other I seek. Also, father has made it quite clear that I cannot have Jane as my queen for not mortal may step foot in Asgard." Loki nodded knowing this already, but still more surprised than before at the unspoken words that Thor was to make this other woman his queen. That other woman being, Loki knew, himself. There were no other woman he hid from Heimdall's eye.
"So where is this child's mother that I may greet her as family?" came the next predictable question, though Loki could find no answer so easily. He could 'go get her,' transform, and seek to trick Thor in that manner. But such would be a fool's errand, he suspected. Instead he looked quietly into his little one's eyes, looking there for answers. Children spoke only of truth however, and truth was the one thing he could not give.
So the two of them stood in an awkward silence. Thor had never before seen his brother so without words. He wondered if he might have misspoke, treading where he should not. "Has she… passed on?"
Loki sighed, blunt as they were he could hear the gentleness in Thor's words. He had nothing to say only able to reply, "if only it were so simple as that." Thor nodded, he was quite confused but he did not have to be a genius to see the hurt in his brother's frame. Perhaps the woman had abandoned them? But what mother would do such a thing? Thor knew he would get no more answers to his questions on this day. He had probably annoyed his brother greatly already with his pestering.
Thor was uncomfortable here. Loki could see it in every breath he took. They had gone down to the kitchens to eat, and unlike is usual vigor Thor ate slowly, all the while glancing about the room. Everything was cold even the food, Loki knew, he had quickly become accustomed to it whereas Thor had never spent much time on Jotunheim before.
And there was no one around but for them.
Despite it's looks, Loki's kingdom was still in its infancy of recovery. Hardly the overfilled, bustling castle Thor was used to living in.
"It is so quiet brother. How can you stand it?" Loki hid a smile. He always did have a knack for knowing what Thor was thinking. "I have always preferred quiet solitude. You know this."
"Yes but… don't you miss warmth? People?" Asgard? was the unspoken question in his voice. Loki could not tell him how he had been visiting Asgard almost weekly for over a year now.
"I do, on the strange occasion, but then I remember I have Veðr. And he is all I could ever need." Loki smiled down the table where his son was sucking on a frozen fruit, having dumped all the rest of his meal on the floor of course. Loki shook his head, the boy would be the death of him he was sure.
Thor was watching his brother and the child both in turn. He felt such a connection to the little one. Surely it was normal to feel so when one was so close to their brother right? But Thor was not so certain, there was something more in the bouncing boy. Added to the joy he found in seeing his brother he could almost forget the woman he sought, for the feeling he got from watching the two of them was nearly the same. Suspicion bloomed in his chest at the thought and it grew further still at the sound of Loki's soft laughter at his son's antics. It was a laugh he had not heard since their childhood, yet it sounded much more familiar than even that.
It sounded like her laugh.
Could it be that Loki had conjured the woman with his magick? Had he seen Thor's madness and sent some nymph of his own creation to free him from it? If that were the case than Thor was more in his brother's debt than the other would ever know. But to fall in love with nothing more than a bit of magick? That would be embarrassing.
The more he thought, the more he became convinced Loki had always had some hand in this matter. It was no coincidence that the woman had run here for protection as he once thought. But the rest was all guess work, somehow he needed to get real answers from Loki.
"Brother, I am chilled to the bone. Is there a place I might warm myself?" Loki looked over to him, still chuckling in a way that made the skin down Thor's back prickle pleasantly. "Yes, and seeing as how my boy had made a mess of himself, I suppose we shall join you in the Bath."
"Bath?" Thor felt his face heat up for some reason. He had taken baths with his brother before so surely it would not be so strange to do it again. But as they got up and headed down yet another hall, he could not shake the feeling that is was.
In a separate changing room, Loki could not stop his hands from shaking as he wrapped a towel around his waist. What had he been thinking? Clearly this was some trickery from his son, to get his parents in some compromising situation. Despite his young age, Loki began to suspect it was true. Maybe it was the real explanation for all his bad luck that he wished was untrue, maybe his son was the god of misfortune.
As he exited out into the bathhouse leading his tottering son by the hand, he resolved himself to not look upon Thor. But of course, with his son so close, it was not meant to be.
"Brother! This place you have built is wondrous amazing! It is more of a small lake than the baths I was expecting." Thor yelled over to him drawing his attention straight away. He supposed he should be thankful that he did not slip and fall in the same moment for the sight of Thor's naked chest peeking out from the water made his heart flutter hot in this chest.
He nodded, accepting Thor's compliment, "I built this place for Veðr. I could not be sure if he would be frost giant enough to survive his infancy in this freezing world. So as a precaution, we spent most of our time here." He could not seem to stop himself from babbling with Thor so… exposed so near him. The bothersome memories were cropping up again and he could very nearly still feel the thickness of his brother inside him.
He stepped into the water, keeping to the shallows to wash up his son. He turned his back to Thor, though he could not ignore the thunderbolt in his pool that he was. Trouncing around in his life again with no idea what he was doing.
What in the world am I even doing? he thought. This whole mess is ridiculous really.
Thor sank down into the blessed heat, feeling slowly returning to his frosty limbs. He felt a sense of deja vous as he watched the muscles move in his brother's back as he cared for his son. He knew now at seeing it that for certain Loki was somehow behind this woman he sought, for the pale and slender back he presented was so much like hers he felt a stirring in his loins. He blushed heavily and ducked under the water. Such thoughts! And for a man! His own brother! He ought to be ashamed, but it was difficult to add in another emotion for him to feel as there were already so many plaguing his mind.
This connection he felt with this small family, this feeling of something more, surely it couldn't be wrong? He had decided that night so long ago that it was Fate who brought them together. This, too, must all be fated. He felt more confident at that and walked over to Loki. The man has conjured a cleaver little boat for his son whom had fallen asleep. He let it drift away from his grasp as he felt Thor's hand, sparking with electricity, setting on the small of his back. Thor felt Loki's small trembles beneath his palm as he used it to turn his brother to face him. He found the other man flushed from his face to his chest and it seemed Loki would refuse to look him in the eye.
"Brother," he started in the most authoritative voice he could manage in his lustful state, "I would have you speak the truth to me." He stepped closer and watched as Loki swallowed nervously, his chest rising and falling rapidly already. "With what have you be-spelled me to feel like this?"
"There is no trick-"
"Loki!" Thor thundered at him, "the truth!"
"It was me! Alright?" tears pricked at the corners of Loki's bright eyes and he turned to hide them. His shame to much to bare as he gripped the edge of the pool with both hands, no longer able to properly stand. "It was me," he said almost in a whisper, "the woman you found that night in the tavern, the woman you proclaim to love... that woman and I are one in the same. I am the one you came here to find."
The silence was deafening after his confession. Silent tears rolled down his face. He could only hope Thor would take care of their child after he killed him for his greatest and most unintentional trickery. The only sound in the room was the quiet lapping of water against his son's boat, gently rocking it to keep him asleep.
"Somehow, I think I knew this," Thor said after what felt like a lifetime of stillness, "somewhere in my heart I knew that it was you all along." He stepped forward and leaned against his brother's back and wrapped his arms around him in a fierce hug. "I knew that only you could bring such joy to my heart Loki." With that Loki's silent grief became great heaving sobs of relief. How could Thor possibly... They couldn't just... Could he too forgive Thor so easily? For forcing their coupling so? But the son it brought fourth had made him so happy...
"Thor, I-"
"Hush brother I know," Thor turned Loki around once again and tried to wipe away his tears. "This is all so very much to take in. We have both wronged one another in so many ways, but I cannot help myself from still wanting more from you." Loki looked up in disbelief as Thor's hand stilled on his cheek. "You are perfect, my brother."
And Thor leaned in and kissed him.
Even in this form, even as a man, Thor could not deny he desired Loki more than he had desired anyone before. Loki could not help himself either as he gripped his brother's arms, holding fast as he returned the kiss, and the next one, and the one after that. By the time Thor pulled back they were both panting harshly. Thor had pressed forward so Loki was now trapped against the side of the bath. They both groaned as their hardnesses brushed against one another for the first time.
"T-Thor do you not wish me to...? I can change if you want."
"No brother, you don't need to be anything other than what you are for me." Loki moaned as Thor grasped them in his large hand and pulled. Loki's nails bit into Thor's muscle, "b-brother I... unn... I need you... ha... inside me now, please." Thor was not sure it was such a good idea, but at his brother's pleading he picked the smaller man up by his waist until Loki could wrap his legs around him. And easier than he could have imagined, he slipped past the tight ring of muscle. They were at once together, an his brother's cries where even sweeter than those he remember of his womanly form. They rocked in time together and it was nothing like it for all the world. It was just how it was supposed to be.
Later they lay exhausted upon the tile floor beside the pool. "Do you ever think we will make it to an actual bed?" Thor laughed quietly at his brother's question. In all honesty, he did not think he would ever be able to keep his hands off Loki again, no matter the location. He lay on his side by the man, drawing pointless designs on Loki's stomach where his spilled seed lay cooling.
"Have any more great secrets to tell?" he asked Loki in jest and was surprised at the guilty smile that bloomed on his brother's face.
"Well... you know the child who floats in the water? He might be... your son..."
"WHAT?"
Loki's nervous giggle echoed in the room.
All was as it was meant to be.