THIS CHAPTER HAS GRAPHIC SCENES OF VIOLENCE

DDDD: OMG. I'm really sorry about how late this is. I kept getting writer's block, so I completely shifted gears. In the middle of the chapter, it's going to shift point of view. Okay, it's almost 5 in the morning. Maybe I should like, sleep or something.

Chapter XVII: Heart of a Shinigami

I opened my eyes to a blanket of black. I shivered, goosebumps rising over my arms with the chill of the cold basement. I hadn't seen B in days - or at least what seemed like days-I had lost concept of time. Seconds blurred into minutes into hours...I was numb. I was dead inside already. I just waiting for him to kill me.

But the door opened loudly, and I heard footsteps. I actually welcomed his presence this time; it was a wanted, though frightening break from the monotony. I only had my dreams and reveries to lose myself into; dreams of endless nights on the beach by my childhood home. I dreamt of Mihael, his golden eyes that shined like the midnight sun. Each day I grew more and more tired, I grew less living every moment.

"You've got a phone call," came the sinister voice. "A Mr. Near would like to speak with you."

My stomach flipped over. I could scarcely remember his face anymore, but I knew that in my desperate state I had to get him to help me. It was still dark, but I could hear his footsteps coming closer to me, and then he pressed a cool, plastic phone to my ear.

"...Hello?" I said quietly.

"Morgan," came the child-like, musical voice.

"Near!" I about shouted. "I need help...I'm in trouble..."

"I am aware of the situation," Near said plainly. "I have the resources to get you out of said trouble."

"Then help me," I begged.

"But there is something you must do for me," Near continued.

"Near," I whined desperately.

"I want you to admit your feelings for me," he said. "And I want commitment. I want to hear that you love me, and I want you to leave Mello."

"Near," I breathed. "Don't do this to me."

"Say it," he demanded.

I knew that if I didn't say it, I would die here. I knew that if I didn't give Nate River my love, I was going to die here. So after a few seconds, I had decided. It was an easy choice in the end.

"I'm sorry," I began. "But no."

"Then like this case," Near said spitefully. "You no longer pique interest."

"That's fine," I said defiantly.

"Bye," he said angrily. He hung up.

B smiled a nasty, toothy smile at me.

"That's conviction," he said. "I can't wait until you are that loyal to me."

I scoffed at him cruelly.

"I have a surprise," he said with jollity.

I was blindfolded and led upstairs like a newborn lamb. I walked like a lamb; my legs were weak. My heart sank when I felt the cool fabric of sheets on a matress. I knew what was about to happen to me; but I resigned myself to my fate. My body belonged to him now. But it was just my body. It's just a shell. Somehow it didn't matter to me anymore.

Mihael Keehl

I crept through the dark hallway quietly, gun clenched in my hand. I saw light coming from a room on the right, and I heard a voice. I knew he had to be there, and Morgan too; hopefully still alive. I peered inside, and my stomach pretty much flipped over three or four times. The motherfucker was on top of her, he was whispering things into her ear. She didn't even seem aware of anything. Her eyes were covered with a piece of cloth. She was gazing at the adjacent wall. It was only by the soft rise and fall of her chest that I could even be sure she was alive.

"It seems we have a guest," Beyond Birthday said, now audible. Fuck - he knew I was there.

"Mihael," he said poisonously. "You little whelp. You always ruin everything. You're a worthless little bug. They should have drowned you like the runt of the litter."

I stepped into the room fully. Morgan began writhing slightly, seemingly aware that I was now there.

"Fuck you," I said. "Take your disgusting hands off of her, and I might not blow your fucking brains out right here."

"Language," he said. "If I can't have this one last thing of L's, then nobody will."

My eyes widened as the sheen of metal caught my eye. He gripped a large knife in his hand, poised only a few inches from her chest.

"It's your choice," he said. "Leave, and she will live. If you make one movement with that gun of yours, I will carve her heart out right here. So think carefully; save her life, or take it?"

I remained frozen in place. Fear froze in my veins. I had to come up with a plan quickly.

I decided to just leave, like he asked, and she would live. There would be other chances to rescue her, as much as it sickened me to leave her in the hands of this sick asshole another second.

"Kill him," Morgan's voice came at me suddenly. "If I have to die, so be it...Mihael-"

"Shut up," Beyond said, clasping a hand on her mouth. "It's Mihael's choice. Hush, not another word out of you, or you will be punished."

"Look, B-" I began.

"Don't you try to reason with me," he spat. "You came charging in, ready to kill me. So figure out what is more important to you. Killing me, or preserving the gift that L had left you, up until now."

His hands stroked her body lightly, breathing heavily, with a sick look in his eyes. My hands clenched the gun tightly, soaked with sweat. At my movement, he raised the knife.

"Perhaps you are not taking me seriously," he said. "Perhaps I should demonstrate how serious I am."

He drove the knife into her shoulder. Screams erupted around the room, shattering shrieks of pain ripping from Morgan's lungs. With every scream or whimper, he would twist the knife, moaning, as though he were having sex rather than stabbing someone.

"Fucking stop it!" I screamed, my gun flew up to aim at his head.

"Save her life, Mihael," he shouted evilly. "Save her life or take it! Choose now!"

"Save it!" I shouted desperately, throwing my gun to the floor. "I will leave, just stop hurting her!"

Silence hung thickly in the air. The gray atmosphere of the room was overshadowed by the deep red of blood soaking the matress of the bed, her clothes, and his.

"That would have been a good choice," he said. He withdrew the knife slowly from Morgan's flesh, evoking a whimper from her. Blood dripped from the blade onto her face, mixing with the sweat and tears already there.

"I know you would only come back for her. That would have been a good choice if you hadn't forgotten that I'm a liar."

Screams again erupted into the air...but this time they were mine. My lungs burned as I screamed. The knife dove deep into her heart this time, blood exploding from the wound. Adreneline filled my brain, and my body. In one motion, I had swept up my gun and begun firing. He yelped, falling off the bed, the knife falling to the floor. He screamed, grasping at his side, where the bullets had ripped into him. I smiled sickeningly, and picked up the knife.

I stabbed him in the gut, and in the legs several times. I shrieked as I reaked my carnage upon him. My body filled with pleasure with the screams of his pain. My skin felt warm, soaked with his blood. At last, I pressed the knife against his neck, and promptly tore his fucking throat out. He choked and gurgled on his own blood for a moment, and died. I stared at his destroyed body for a moment. No remorse. No sympathy. I felt gratified. Validated.

My murderous trance was brought to an end with the sound of labored, shallow, quivering breaths behind me. I rushed over, leaning over Morgan's broken body. I removed her blindfold. Her once deep black eyes were gray. Her skin was ice cold, and white as a sheet, a stark contrast to the bright crimson staining her lips. She softly whispered my name, and her shaking hand reached up and grasped my hair.

"Morgan," I said in a low tone. "Just...just hold on, I'll get you to a hospital."

"It's...it's over," she choked.

"No," I shouted. "Don't you dare fucking say that! Don't you fucking die on me, you bitch!"

I grabbed a blanket, and quickly but gently wrapped her body in it. I carried her, running as fast I could, but I could not move fast enough. Time was slipping away, her life was slipping through my fingers.

I placed her in the passenger seat of the Porsche I had rented. I threw myself into the driver's seat, and hammered the gas. Minutes kept passing, and she began slipping in and out of consciousness. I ripped into the Emergency pick up and drop off. I jumped out the car, not even turning it off. I grabbed Morgan and ran into the ER, frantic and bloodstained. I knew I looked like I had done it to her, even though most of the blood was B's.

She immediately taken into surgey, and hours passed. I paced, watching the clock second by second, wanting to just break things and scream, but somehow I managed to keep my composure. At last, a woman in green scrubs approached me.

"This girl in the O.R., Morgan Keehl, are you here for her?" she asked.

"Yes," I said immediately. "I'm her husband."

"Oh," she said gravely, as though she wished I wasn't.

"Well?" I asked frantically.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"No." I said immediately.

"Your wife didn't make it, the knife punctured her main arteries, she bled to death before we could repair them or give her any blood," she said.

"No fucking way," I said.

"I'm sorry sir, I know this a horrible shock," she said sympathetically. "But you need to talk to the police, and let them know who stabbed her."

My brain was numb, but somehow managed to register one fact: I had just killed a man. I basically tortured him. I was going to go to jail. I had to run...but I had second thoughts. My life was basically over. My best friend was killed months ago. And now...Morgan...was dead. But something in me had the will to live.

"Of course," I lied. "But...can I please have a moment..?"

"Sure," she said. "Whenever you are ready. Oh, and I got this off her body, I thought...you might want it."

She handed me Morgan's silver heart locket. I grasped it. It felt cool in my hand.

"Thank you," I nodded.

She smiled sweetly and walked away.

My legs carried me out of the hospital with the very meaning of haste. I hot-wired a BMW and tore out of there, onto the interstate. I didn't know where I was going. I just drove for hours, until I decided that I had to switch cars. I noticed an old car on the side of the road with a "For Sale" sign on it. Nobody would miss this car. It was a Chevy Geo. Not fast, but it was discreet. This car had the keys already in the ignition. I started it up, but a sight made me nearly piss myself.

...There was a shinigami, in front of the car.

I jumped out, still high on rage and adrenaline, ready to fight.

"Hey, Hey," the huge creature said. "No need to get violent on me. My name is Ryuk."

"Hey. My name is Mello. Fuck you," I said.

"You have what I've been looking for for weeks!" he said, with sly chortle. "I've been chasing you for hours. I'm beat. Why do you have it now? Why not that other girl, who found it...What's her name, Madeline? Marilyn? No, no...OH! It was Melanie!"

"Morgan, you fucktard." I growled.

"Oh," he said. "What ever happened to that broad? I still remember when she decked Raito. That was awesome."

"She's...dead," I said. "She was murdered."

"Holy shit," he said. "That locket can't help with human weapons, I guess."

"What the fuck are you on about?" I hissed.

"That locket is special," He explained. "It's full of shinigami magic. That's the heart of a shinigami. It's one thing to look the part, but this gives a shinigami his powers. As of right now, you are immune to the deathnote. Also, you can travel to the shinigami realm, and to Muu."

"Muu?" I said.

"Muu is nothingness. It's where humans go when they die. It's not a physical place, you can't physically go there," he said. "Only a human's conscious goes. But shinigami transcend physical existence, so every part of us can go."

"What would I find in Muu?" I asked.

"Depends on who you tune in to," he said. "You could go and see your little girlfriend, I guess. Wait, actually I think she was Near's girlfriend. I saw them making out. He won't be too happy about his girlfriend, he he."

"Shut up," I clenched.

"It was pretty hot, for two humans," he continued, trying to piss me off. (It was working.) "That kid looks like a kid on the outside, but from the way he was pawing her, he must be a freak in bed. Telling from the conversation, she would know."

"Will you shut the fuck up?" I shouted. "Morgan was my fucking wife, you asshole!"

"Oh, so you're swingers!" he chortled. "Who did you get to screw? ...Ooohhh, she strayed, I assume?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "Just once. Near is a persuasive asshole."

Ryuk chuckled and scratched his unnatural anti-grave hair.

"I kinda need that locket, though," he said. "Some shinigami lost it years ago, and he's offering a huge reward for it. Like, three dozen apples."

"Fuck no!" I said. "Not after that shit."

"Fine," he said. "I'll tell you what. Maybe I can help you retrieve Morgan's consciousness from Muu. It's against the rules...but I fucking love apples. I've thought about fucking an apple before."

"Okay, that's really nasty!" I shouted. "And also, how will she come back to life if her body is basically destroyed? And it would be pretty fucking weird if she just suddenly woke up in the CITY MORGUE!"

"I'll take care of it," he offered. "And also, when retrieval is done, all corporeal wounds are healed. It's against the rules because humans who are retrieved and were killed by the deathnote take their lifespans away from the shinigami that killed them."

"Fine," I said. "We have a deal. So how the fuck do I get to Muu?"

"It's easy," he said. "Tune your thoughts into somebody, and then just sort of...I dunno, fall asleep. Like being in a coma, or something."

"Okay," I said. "Let's do this shit."