Chapter 4
Mr. Game and Watch unhappily sighed as the sunlight spilt into his dusty small room through the holes in the wall created by bullets, forcing his eyes to open. Rubbing his eyes, Mr. Game and Watch heaved himself out of his soft bed. "Another day closer to death…" he muttered as he splashed cold water on his face. "Aw crap!" He shouted as his head began to sag, remembering that paper and water go together like ketchup and marshmallows. His head sagged to the floor like the branches of a weeping willow as his hands hopelessly searched for a blow dryer. Instead he gave up and angrily sat on the floor, using his hands to prop up his head. "I HATE WATER!" he yelled sending an echo throughout the building mistakenly awakening everybody…
"General, we need elephants to feed the purple."
"No, we cannot, there are too many marshmallows." Truska replied,
"I'm sorry, I don't understand. I think there is honey in my pants."
"I HATE WATER!"
Truska shot up from her bed, sitting and yelled, "What was that?" Mr. Game and Watch's echo destroyed her lucid dream.
Peach stirred in her bed, the morning sun not passing through her pink blind fold. "Mmmm…" She muttered, caring solely on her sleep.
Truska's eyes widened. Usually, Peach was a beautiful well-mannered princess, but every time she slept, it's as if a beast ate her and took her place.
Truska's eyes widened. Usually, Peach was a beautiful well-mannered princess, but every time she slept, it's as if a beast ate her and took her place.
Truska shook off the monstrous thought. She checked for the time. 8:30 am. Getting dressed, Truska decided to make breakfast for everybody. She was already used to making breakfast for the Cirque.
"Hi Bowser!" She greeted the Koopa King as he flipped pancakes in the small kitchen.
Turning over his shoulder, Boweser replied, "Good morning, Truska."
"Do you need help?"
"Yes I do!" Bowser smiled. He was the official chef of the Smash Brothers, and getting help was like getting a golden ticket, not that he couldn't cook like the Iron Chef, of course. "Come help me with these pancakes."
Truska walked over. Her jaw dropped to the floor. There were over fifty pancakes! "Sure…"
"Bowser handed her an old spatula and she began flipping pancakes. "Are you guys performing tonight?" Curiosity started the conversation.
Hesitating, Truska honestly didn't know, "I'm not entirely sure. Mr. Tall may not want to…"
"He probably will." Bowser took out a giant serving tray, "Cormac said that Mr. Tall is alive during these shows. Has he ever cancelled a show?"
"Never," she said shaking her head.
Bowser scooped up five pancakes and placed them on the tray. "He'll hopefully come around, I'm sure. Why would he take away the things that are precious to him?" He paused. "Every time I steal Princess Peach, I do it just to bother Mario. He thinks that I'll kill her, or do something gruesome!" He scooped up more pancakes, "I let him have her in the end so that the plumber can feel that he can actually do something other than getting high off shrooms or jumping people for 'coins'. But why would I eat my friend? I call her before I 'steal' her!"
Truska smiled, "Wow, Peach has been complaining about Mario always picking her up from going out." Bowser laughed, "Just don't let things get in your way. Perform your show tonight." He turned his attention to his cooking. "Let's heat up the sausages."
When the two finished preparing breakfast and setting the table, they had to wake everybody up. "Thanks for your help Truska. You've been great help."
"No problem, I'll wake everybody up." Truska quickly ran upstairs, happy to be helpful.
"Everyone! Breakfast!" A door slammed open and Link hungrily ran out.
"Link! Wait!" Zelda called out, chasing after him, Young Link holding her hand. "You forgot your Master's Sword!" Link was too hungry to hear Zelda over the sound of his grumbling stomach.
"I smell bacon!" He yelled running down the creaky stairs.
Darren peeked out, "That was the most awkward experience I have lived through." His face was blank.
The honest truth was that Link was disliked among the Smash Brothers, and Darren can easily see why. A rude, impolite farmer boy was not on everybody's friend list.
"Good morning Darren!" Truska greeted noticing that Link was everybody's wakeup call as they got out of their rooms. "How are you today?"
"Tired." He croaked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Go and have breakfast." She offered sympathetically. Darren trudged down the stairs.
A toast to idiots!" Link quietly said to himself as he grabbed a glass of orange juice off the table, his plate filled with all sorts of bacon and pancakes.
Everybody ate, having great conversations and finally enjoying the Cirque's company.
After many moments of embarrassment, Mr. Game and Watch thought about going downstairs. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't know if the Cirque would forgive. It seemed to Mr. Game and Watch like everybody was having a good breakfast and he didn't want to ruin it. Mr. Tall didn't even return from his hotel room. Biting his imaginary lip, he swung the creaky old door open, finally out of his depressed chamber. "I can do this!" he bravely yelled throwing his arms up. Mr. Game and Watch looked around. He could've sworn he heard a cricket somewhere. Whatever. Bravely broadening his limp shoulders and puffing his chest, he made his way downstairs.
"Guys!" Mr. Game and Watch bravely stood tall at the dining table. As everybody silenced, heads turned towards Mr. Game and Watch. "I really want to apologize for what I've done. I really blew it." Shocked eyes made their way towards the apologetic Mr. Game and Watch.
Why was he apologizing now? Of all times Mr. Game and Watch choice breakfast. Must have been bothering the poor man a lot. What Mr. Game and Watch has done was growing like a toothache at the back of his mind, constantly giving him the guilt of his mistake. Now was better than most times because the mistake was fresh in his mind. "I was overly excited and what I did was wrong." Mr. Game and Watch strongly projected. "Guys, all of you guys, I'm sorry."
Mr. Tall stood up from his seat. When did he get here? Can he teleport? "Apology accepted, my friend." Holding out a hand to Mr. Game and Watch he continued, "Come sit with us."
For a moment, Mr. Game and Watch only stared. Since when did Mr. Tall take out his hand? He's afraid of germs and body contact! Then, Mr. Game and Watch smiled, and shook his hand. Smiling confidently, Mr. Tall shook back.
Trumpets filled the silent air like how the sun fills the night sky turning it to day.
"Welcome to the Cirque du Freak." Mr. Tall said projecting his voice throughout the auditorium, earning curious stares from the crowd. "Here, there are things, that occur that people may not notice because they chose to close their eyes to what they can't understand. This is home of the most remarkable human beings. If you are easily afraid, I recommend leaving." He paused looking around the crowd, "Every act tonight is not a fake. All of the performers are real, and none are harmless." Before he stepped off, he gave a good look around, his black eyes creeping people out, "Please enjoy the show."
Every light in the auditorium shut off. Pitch black filled every corner. Nervous people in the crowd began to anxiously whisper, afraid if a zombie might pop up and eat the insides of their skulls.
A bright light suddenly turned on, focused to the center of the stage. A cage covered in a leopard print towel caught everybody's attention. Ike was requested to sit next to Mr. Game and Watch just in case he goes wandering off and gets himself 'killed'. Powerful enough, Ike could easily grab Mr. Game and Watch back if he ran off, that is.
Two little people shrouded in blue cloaks removed the leopard print towel and people began to scream. The wolf-man was revealed from the rusty cage, behind bars gripping the bars terribly as if he wanted to kill everybody who gave him a scream. Over the loud screaming, Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong were chattering happily for their friend. Angrily the Wolf-man continued to roar, causing more screams from the crowd. Even Ganondorf recoiled from the blood curdling roars.
"My ears!" Sheik painfully covered her ears.
Mr. Game and Watch laughed, "Wow! Doesn't he seem pissed?"
Practically floating down, Mr. Tall appeared on stage, with a mesmerizing face. "You all must be very quiet," mystically waving his hands, the wolf man stopped his roars, and was perfectly silent, perhaps, hypnotized. "As of this moment, I have placed the Wolf Man in a trance. You all must be very quiet, or else the Wolf Man will be belligerent once again and may harm one of you." Slowly Mr. Tall took out a ring full of rusty keys. Out of the 50 keys on the ring, he carefully inserted one of them inside the cage lock and twisted it. Click! Slowly, the cage creaked its way open as terrified people began to ready themselves to run or tightly grip their chairs to hold them down from fear.
"Is he seriously going to let him out?" Link hurriedly asked trying not to let fear characterize his appearance.
Mr. Tall shot a dangerous glance at Mr. Game and Watch not wanting him to well… whatever.
Mr. Tall weaved hand signals and the hypnotized Wolfman began to move his arm awkwardly, as if slapping a fly from his ear.
"What is he?" Snake whispered, "Naruto?"
Samus who coincidentally sat next to Solid Snake rolled her eyes at Tall-sama no jutsu.
The hypnotized Wolfman took a furry step forward and then back again. He put the same foot forward and back again.
"Hit it sistah!" Mr. Tall gleefully yelled and crappy music began to play.
The Smash Brothers looked around awkwardly.
"Ya put yer left paw in ya put yer left paw out…" A Wolfman version of the Hokey Pokey played while the hypnotized Wolfman unwittingly danced. If only he were awake… f only…
Everybody in the Smash Brothers was skeptical. Except for dumb old little Sheik. The second the Wolfman began to shift his leg back, she knew that the Hokey Pokey would start. Proudly she stood up and began dancing…
Ike stared at her wide-eyed, and all of a sudden he felt guilty for wanting to kill an imbecile.
Clearly, Mr. Tall was enjoying the Wolfman's dance as he turned himself around (that's what it's all about!) to the Hokey Pokey.
The silly music played for at least five horrible minutes. The Smash Brothers clearly had enough and were all ready to run from ths infantile torture but they couldn't leave their roomie's performance, especially since they were the VIPs. Guilt is a horrible feeling indeed. "This is torture!" Fox whispered to his co-pilot, Falco and frenemie Wolf.
"It's psychosocial!" Wolf whispered.
The curtains interrupted the Wolfman as they prematurel closed and wraped up his silent audience, except for the two losers… Mr. Game and Watch and Sheik!
"Come on guys!" Mr. Game and Watch said as he clapped, "Applaud!" Everybody refused, but that didn't bother Mr. Game and Watch or Sheik.
"So lame!" Pikachu said gripping a cig in between his teeth.
To everyone's demise, the curtain quickly opened again showing the next performer and Marth and Ike's emotionless, bored faces quickly turned in to a face full of laughter. Their laughs angered the perfomer as he stomped his designer boots hard into the ground.
"Ahem… I am Alex Ribs and-"
"Nice pom-poms!" Marth yelled giggling hysterically along with his boyfriend.
In anger, Alex's eyebrow twitched. Yes he was in a complete cheer-leading outfit along with glitter, yes he had pompoms and yes he wore designer boots, but these two yaoi boys didn't have the guts to come up on stage dressed like Alex.
Clearing his throat, he continued, "I am a contorotist cheerleader and-" Ike and Marth's laugh interrupted him again.
"I… we're sorry, continue," Ike said trying not to laugh.
"Barbie!" Marth laughed.
Alex was steaming red, "SHUT UP!" his voice rumbled the room silencing the blue haired couple, but they still found it hard to hold in their laughter. "That's it," Alex threw his pompoms on the floor and stormed off the stage. Stage crew quickly swept away the glitter and ran off with the pompoms.
A nervous Mr. Tall ran up to the stage, "Excuse him please, that was not a part of the show… he was having a rough night." He smiled, his dark teeth blackening the mood, "on with Rhamus Twobellies!"
"A fat man came on the stage. "Hey, wassap. I'm Rhamus Twobellies and I was born with two bellies, that's where I got the name!" In a fast manner, the fat man picked up his shirt and in a perverted manner, he flashed the entire crowd.
"Ew!" Link and a few others yelled in disgust, not used to seeing two bellies on one man.
Suddenly, a hand shot up and everyone became silent in order to hear the question, "How do you eat so little when you have two tummies?" Bowser curiosly asked.
Keeping his shirt up over his man boobs, Rhamus smiled and whispered –loud enough for everyone to hear- "Portion control." He winked happily skipping off the stage, causing the floor to squeak under his weight.
Next, a small woman walked on the stage with a tough expression written on her face. "My name is Gurtha Teeth!"
"That's my roomie!" Wario excitedly showed off as he crunched into a garlic clove.
"I can bite into anything!" Gurtha spoke very loud and clear, a little bit too loud and clear.
"Does she have to yell?" Game and Watch complained sourly.
"You! In the crowd!" Gurtha said and pointed to a blonde man, "Tell me you name!"
"My name is Cormac, Cormac Limbs." Cormac had a smug face.
"Please come up! You'll be my volunteer!" Gurtha insisted an brought up the unwilling man to the stage.
"Watch!" She yelled to the crowd as she picked up one of the metal bars lying around and banged it hard against the floor to show it was a real bar. She asked Cormac to hold the bar with both of his hands. "Now, watch!" She bit clean through the metal bar and spitting out the rest.
"I bet it's fake!" Mr. Game and Watch jeered.
"To prove that it's real, how about YOU bit it, Mr. Game and Watch!" Gurtha handed him a bar as he climbed on stage.
"B-but I don't have a mouth!" Mr. Game and Watch cried.
"Very well then…" She said awkwardly.
"This is stupid!" Cormac yelled rudely. "All you do is bite things!"
The crowd gasped at his insult, unsure of how Gurtha will handle the slur. "I do bite things…" She grabbed his arm and bit right through his arm, cracking the bone and all.
"HOLY SHIT!" The crowed roared as Gurtha held Cormac's arm and savagely waved it back and forth, laughing.
"I… I ta…taa.." Cormac stuttered and held the stump where his arm used to be and cringed in pain. He then looked up at the crowed and hollered, "I'm okay!" He zeal fully said.
"Dude, your arm just got torn off!" Link yelled. Clearly, Link didn't get a chance to speak with Cormac during the Cirque's stay.
Gasps emerged from the crowd as his arm slowly grew back.
"I wouldn't want a blowjob from her," Captain Falcon whispered to Olimar.
When his arm fully healed, he kissed his hand, earning an applause from the crowd. "That was Cormac and Gurtha!" Mr. Tall appeared on the stage as the two got off. "And yes, she can bite through metal, and shred through heavy metal!" He did an air guitar as crickets chirped filling the awkwardness with their sounds. "Uh… on to the next performer. What's old, ugly and needs scar removal?" The crowd remained silent, "Give it up to Larten Crepsley!"
Green fog slithered across the floor as a man with a crop of orage hair appeared on the stage with said scar. "Spiders are awesome. Just keep that in mind." Crepsley took out a spider the size of a softball, not including the hairy legs that extended on his palm. "Ew!" Zelda cried.
With his free hand, Larten reached into his red coat pocket and took out a beat up wooden flute.
"You're not gonna play that thing, right?" Mr. Game and Watch said, "It's covered in splinters!" "Shut up, man. " Crepsley said dropping his hands. Licking his lips he began to play the old instrument. The spider tensed up in response, motionless.
Suddenly, the spider jumped to the floor and didn't move. Mr. Crepsley began playing to the tune of the "Itsy Little Spider". Everyone's eyes widened in horror to the childish music –except for Sheik and Mr. Game and Watch who both enjoyed the stupid music.
"Why did I come again?" Sonic asked Mario.
Honestly, the Smash Brothers didn't expect anything stupid from Mr. Crepsley.
The spider swayed from side to side dancing to the music of Mr. Crepsley's flute
"This is so stupid!" Captain Falcon whispered, painfully gripping the life out of his chair.
"This is Madame Octa," Crepsley said as he placed the giant spider into a small wooden cage. "And I am Mr. Crepsly!" He disappeared of the stage.
"That was fast..." Marth whispered.
"Glad it's over." Ike whispered back.
The Smash Brothers were definitely misguided. Everybody thought that Crepsley would be the main attraction because not only did he dress and look like a clown, he acted like one, too.
Mr. Tall came on stage with a huge grin, "Thank you all for coming!" he played with a paper clip in his hand, "If you would like, there are more things to buy in the back. Now thanks again for coming, tell your friends, please!" His mod suddenly changed, "NOW GET OUT!" he ran off the stage.
The Smash Brothers were quick to get their belongings and ready to shoot for the exit, but there was a ginormous snake in the exit sliding towards one of the poles scaring everybody! How rude!
The humongous dark green snake was about to reach the floor until a strong yellow light shone on the snake's creepy face and it stopped moving, trying to get a sense of sight.
"Aw great!" Link plopped down in his chair again, pissed off that another act was well on its way.
On the stage, a boy- 14 to 15 years old- with long yellowish green hair bore snake eyes and spring green scales adorned his body from head to toe. The lower portion of his body was covered in the leopard print towel that was used to cover the wolf man's cage. Hissing loudly, all eyes sprung to the boy.
With a twinkle in her eyes, Sheik yelled, "EVRA!" happily.
Blushing, Evra got on his belly and slid off the stage. Walking through the crowd to reach his snake, he petted it and kissed it, receiving a "O_O" From the crowd and a, "OwO" from Mr. Game and Watch. Instinctively, the snake wrapped around Evra as he danced back to the stage.
Finally on the stage again, Evra placed the snake down on the floor as it opened its mouth. "Don't try this at home children'" Evra said wagging a finger. Getting on his belly, Evra wriggled inside the snake's mouth, his head completely inside. Then he began to kick, "Don't SWALLOW ME!" He yelled as his head went a little deeper than what was comfortable. The crowd screamed and covered their eyes, even the Smash Brothers, who initially thought, "…", kind of nervous.
"We HAFTA HELP HIM!" Sheik yelled as she jumped on stage.
"OMFG!" Mr. Game and Watch shrieked.
"HELP!" Evra yelled from inside the snake, "I FORGOT TO FEED HIM BEFORE! AHH!" He yelled, "THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!"
Panicky, Sheik grabbed his feet and heaved him out of the snake's body in one fluid motion.
Blushing again, Evra breathed heavily and thanked Sheik. "That never happened before… so… yeah…" Evra said awkwardly facing the crowd. He immediately received an applause for such a valiant and life risking act, just for the pleasure of the crowd. Hissing at his snake, Evra kissed it again, and forgave it –as it seemingly looked- and continued with his act.
Evra stood up, and cleaned the snake's saliva off from his hair with the leopard print towel that was covering his genitals- and accidently flashed the crowd. Sheik smacked her forehead for Evra. The snake wrapped itself all over Evra's body –kinda like a piggy in a blanket… yum – except for his head, then he accidently lost sense of direction and fell of the stage with a loud thud.
The crowd gasped, "I'm okay!" Evra said as he hopped up with the snake still wrapped around his body. With the crowd feeling bad for the snake boy, he whispered to himself, "This is gonna be tough," he thought of ways to make his exit.
Smiling awkwardly and embarrassed, he hopped up the stairs, tripped once he got onstage, and rolled to the backstage.
A white poof of smoke appeared and Mr. Tall at the center of the stage appeared, "Although that was horrible, that was the real ending." He disappeared again with another white poof of smoke followed by a disgusting scent, and appeared at the exit, holding it opened. "Now GTFO!" The crowd quickly exited, obviously buying a few replicas of Evra and his Snake as they left.
"That was an amazing show!" Mr. Game and Watch complimented, giving a standing ovation, "Brilliant and chilling!"
Smiling merrily, Mr. Tall replied, "Takes year of practice to do this shit," He chuckled and squirted hand sanitizer on his pale, chapped and flaky hands.
The next morning it was time for the Cirque to say their goodbyes as they searched upon the road to perform their unseen talents in different cities.
"It was great hosting you guys!" Mr. Game and Watch explained with happy delight, "It was also an honor learning about your different and unique lifestyles!" Mr. Game and Watch was beaming with cheerfulness and he honestly felt somewhat enlightened by being around a different crowd.
Mr. Tall was satisfied himself with Mr. Game and Watch's answer "Just remember us-"
"Oh, I will."
Mr. Tall smiled happily, content with his stay and Mr. Game and Watch's attentiveness.
During his stay, Mr. Tall learned that people won't try to attack him just because he was 'different'. While staying with the Smash Brothers Mr. Tall learned that a majority of people that aren't 'freaks' are accepting. Before he came to the apartment, Darren Shan forgot to show Mr. Tall's fear of contamination and hostility towards people that aren't 'freaks'. The Smash Brothers taught him that he was hostile, and that's why he was feared. Mr. Game and Watch is a black piece of construction paper and is loved by his 'common folk'. Same applies for a few members of the Smash Brothers.
"Bye Cirque!" Mr. Game and Watch replied back with some Smash Brothers waving joyously.
"Wait! Alex!" Ike called, jogging up to Alex Ribs, "You left that in the bathroom…" Ike handed him a pink object in a plastic bag and shrugged. He walked back to his crowd (next to Marth), smiling sweetly.
Quickly, Alex tried hiding the object Ike gave him. Alex turned bright red when someone jeered, "A DILDO! LMAO!"
Evra and Darren began cracking up when Alex replied angrily, "SO WHAT?11?"
"Ew!" Rhamus yelled, "That's so –"
"Gay? It's Marth's!" Alex quickly yelled cutting Rhamus off.
"Uh-oh…" Zelda said, her eyes widening in fear.
Marth's happy smile quickly turned into something distorted and twisted. He brought his head down so that his bangs covered his eyes as he menacingly chuckled.
"Dammit…" Ike quietly cursed as he and everybody around Marth took a giant step away.
His chuckle silenced everyone, especially the one who caused it, Alex, who was afraid of what might happen to him.
Marth picked up his head, "That's funny," he chuckled crazily, "I have no need for such a pitiful sword!" Marth said as he drew his Falchion sword, "Mine's real!"
Ike crossed his arms and smirked, proud of his boyfriend.
Link, on the other hand, smacked his forehead and whispered stuff in both of Marth and Ike's ears. Can't blame a guy, they were from the Middle Ages. "You say that's used for masturbation…" Marth repeated aloud so everybody can hear. Ike merely furrowed his eyebrows as disgust reached his face, "Like a penis…?" Link stepped away, "I don't need that! I have Ike!" Ike blushed bright crimson. Marth angrily crossed his arms and pouted.
Rhamus groaned, "I wasn't going to say 'gay', Alex." Rhamus said, "I was going to say 'so yesterday'. Dude, get a vibrator!" Rhamus scoffed. He waved goodbye and jumped into the driver's seat of the Cirque van.
"Come on Alex," Mr. Tall said as he pulled the paralyzed Alex back. "It's time to go." Alex just shook his head and went inside the Cirque van.
"Loser…" Evra said regarding Alex. "Mom," he called out to Sheik, "Will I ever see you again?"
Sheik shook her head, "No, probably not." She placed her hands on his green shoulders, "No son, maybe in the next life, once more."
Evra looked away, "Mom!" He cried and rushed up to hug Sheik.
"We became really close, like mother and son." She held in a tear, "I'm sorry we could see each other more." Suddenly, her mood brightened up. "You and I can write each other letters!"
"I'm illeterate… but I'll get every one in the Cirque to read them to me, just incase someone changes your words!" Evra said, letting go of her embrace because of Mr. Tall's hastening mood. "Good bye, Mom!"
"SAYONARA!" She cried. The poor crazy Sheik was once again alone. He and Darren climbed into the van. All Darren did to say goodbye was wave- he hated Link and didn't care much for Zelda and Young Link.
"Good bye, everybody!" Mr. Game and Watch said sadly as the van rolled down the hill into the abyss of gone forever.