~Chapter 7~

Written by texasbella

References to The Last and Search and Rescue

Sitting at my computer, I'm going through the MLS listings yet again. The Evil-Good's are due here in an hour and I need to have something to show them. The options are continuing to dwindle as this is a small town and there just aren't that many properties set up to accommodate a large family.

The black box silently beckons me as it sits, unassumedly, on the desk. Can I get through today without pushing the button?

I have been giving this sale my all; truly, I think I've had the patience of Job in this endeavor. Surely I should be entitled to a reward soon?

In the form of "we'll take it."

My order with Adam & Eve is ready to go, it's sitting in 'my shopping cart' just waiting for me to 'go to checkout'. Admittedly, that order gets bigger every time a showing falls through and I come home and browse the site with longing, while fingering the box. click. click. click.

Back to business, KK! I scold myself, giggling a little at the nickname Scorcher gave me.

Too small.

Too many neighbors.

Enough square footage, but not enough bathrooms.

I click through the listings, and click on the box, the unseen clock ticking on when the shopping cart will cancel out and I'll have to start it all over.

A new listing catches my eye. It's unconventional; normally I'd avoid showing this property like I'd avoid a party of vampires with a paper cut. But have I mentioned that the options are running out... perhaps unconventional is what this sale needs?

I print out the spec sheets, plug the coordinates into my GPS and sit back and wait for Mr. and Mrs. Evil-Good to arrive. Surely today will be the day!

I even give the button a push for good luck.

*o*O*o*

The road, if you can call it that, to the house is bumpy and overgrown. I kind of feel like that girl in Blair Witch, heading out into the woods.

Another slap sound, followed by a scream and then sobbing, erupts from the back of my Suburban. Seems dear old dad wasn't available to watch their four little angels today, so they are joining us.

Angels my ass. More like demon spawn if you ask me. Click.

"Ms. Komma, I'd appreciate you keeping your negativity to yourself. We have already apologized profusely about being unable to make alternate plans today." Scorcher snickers and the missus slaps his arm.

"It's your dad's fault that my dad couldn't watch them today. Always stirring up hurricanes and causing earthquakes like it's some kind of a game," Mrs. Evil-Good snarks at him as she crosses her arms over her chest and flops against the seat.

"Aww, babe, don't be like that," Scorcher says before he leans in and whispers in her ear. The car gets warmer as I notice her cheeks flush over. What in the hell is he saying to her? My finger is now rubbing across the button of its own accord.

Her eyes meet mine in the rearview and she grins knowingly.

We finally arrive at the location and as I put the car in park, the girls tumble out of the back. They take off running as Scorcher calls after them not to go too far.

I take a deep breath to begin. "Okay, so this one is a little um, different..."

"There's nothing here but land and scorched trees!" Mrs. Evil-Good cuts me off. I stay calm and raise my hand up to quiet her, the weight of the little box in my pocket comforting me.

"I realize that is how it appears, but if you'll follow me." I glance down at the spec sheet to double check the directions. Looking up, my eyes scan the clearing, looking for the marker. "Ahh, here we go," I say as I take a few paces towards the right.

I come to a stop when the ground makes a hollow sound under our feet. Using my shoe, I kick aside the dirt and leaves to reveal a hidden door into the ground. Scorcher jumps forward.

"Allow me!" He lifts the door up and tosses it back, revealing a stairwell that leads down into the ground. "Sweet! You found an underground house?" he says excitedly and my hopes rise.

"Girls! Come check this out!" he cries as he runs down the stairs, the girls right behind him, leaving the missus and myself standing at the top in some kind of showdown, and my hopes fall.

"Ms. Komma, Katherine, I'm sorry if I didn't make this clear before, but I cannot and will not live under the ground. I need open spaces and the higher the better, I need to be close to the Father after all," she explains.

Are those cobwebs growing between my legs? Click.

Just then the girls come barreling back up the stairs with Scorcher a few steps behind. The girls have some old unlabeled cans in their hands and are obviously excited about their finds.

"Are you coming down to look, dear?" Scorcher asks his wife. She just glares at him.

"I can smell the stench from here, Edward... it's like a crypt or something." She turns to me. "Did someone die down there?"

"Erm, not that I know of Mrs. Evil-Good, but I'm happy to keep looking."

Click. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Click. Courage to change the things I can.

Click. And the wisdom to know when I'm a complete fool for even thinking I can.

Yep, definitely cobwebs, I think as we hike back to the car and my thumb finds the well-worn button... repeatedly.

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