~Chapter 8~

Written by reyes139

Reference: The Bakery and a few swipes at others

"Excuse me, Miss KK, but can we stop and eat something, sometime within the next Armageddon and now...we've been at this all morning?" His devilish lips seduce me with his sinful melody, yet his eyes are spitting fire as Mrs. Evil-Good complains yet again. Her arms are wrapped around her stomach, while she claims to ask God for a pond to fish in.

We're just starting and I know the box will be seeing more action than me today. Fuck my life.

I think the saying goes, that if looks could kill, I would be ten feet under...not true, one blazing look from this man and the urge to bow and plead you're loyalty and body, is all that comes to mind.

"Well," I begin with as much confidence as I can muster...this man and his little lamb are just too intimidating. "There is an amazing bakery just up the road...this place was extremely popular with the local residents a few months back...you could say they were loyal fans of the Creator."

"How good are we talking about? Perhaps devilishly orgasmic?" Mr. Evil-Good asks, while his wife begins to foam at the mouth at the small mention of chocolate in every sinful way you can imagine.

"I would venture to say the appropriate word to describe it is orgasmic…It's a real shame that the previous owners left...wanting to explore their new found relationship. Residents claim that business boomed for him after the owner found himself a girl whose goodies brought all the townies to the yard."

"No shit..." they say in unison and while he laughs at her slip, she prays for forgiveness from her Daddy G...I am seriously contemplating abandoning this search and turning them over to my partner, Kit.

"Yes, shit," I reply and pray for the crazy lady to go away...maybe leaving me with her sexy devil of a husband as payment for all my pain and suffering, down below.

"Don't count on that prayer being answered, you heathen...now, stop coveting what's rightfully mine and get me some gosh darn-it food!"

"Good save there, babe."

"Thanks."

Weirdos...

Bella looks ready to kill my house hunting ass by the end of that small rant, but the mention of heavenly treats, and me being their one and only map to this town...brings her holy PMSing down a notch or two.

"Well...what the H.E.L.L. are ya waiting for woman? Lead the way." Was spelling that out really necessary?

What the hell is so hard about saying hell? Jesus!

"Yes?"

"Um...I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"Will you two shut it? KK stop arguing with her Holiness and lead the way...you do not want her wrath unleashed upon you. Moses had it easy compared to what will be rained on you...your ass will be grass by the time she's through with you...literally."

Turning around without another word, I lead them down the road from the Key Party Lodge, towards From My Window Lane.

The streets close to the decadent shop are bustling with fatty's of all ages, all running in full gear, practicing for the upcoming Marathon held every year around this time.

Their coach is a goddess of a woman, with long flowing brown hair and an ass you could literally bounce a roll of quarters off of.

"Scorching, just the way I like em'," mumbles Edward.

SWACK. I click the button in a knee jerk reaction to the sound.

"What the fuck woman?" He glares at his personal Angel while all he gets is the same glare in return.

"Keep your eyes on me Anti, not the ex-fatty whore's ass." Who claimed this woman was all love and innocence?

"Wish he would stare at me like that," I mutter lowly...thinking I won't be heard.

Big mistake.

I barely have time to duck the holy fist of furry that flies towards my head...she is pissed and wanting me to burn in the fiery pits of hell for my words.

"Won't your father take her baby? I'm sure he would see it as a peace offering for not leaving the girl with him...it would be a win win." Edward chuckles and I blanch...are they going to sell me?

Oh hells no, not after everything I've put up with today, these bitches owe me a hefty commission God dammit. Click. Click.

"Don't use my father's name in vain, bitch." Cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

Jesus, what is she talking about? My creep-o-meter is going through the roof with all this devil, God and holy talk.

Are they part of a cult?

"Watch it KK, she might have a saintly disposition, but she will cut a bitch, if you touch what's hers."

"Stop milking it, buddy."

I refuse to say another word to the insane pair and let them be. The walk is a short one and much needed as I try to clear my head and figure out what the fuck to do.

There are still a few more properties I can show...I am the MVP of realtor's, after all, dammit.

I can do this.

Suddenly I feel renewed and ready to sell.

"Is this the place?" his devilish lips ask. His wife on the other hand, giggles as she reads the sign.

"Unbelievable... really? Devil's Fork Bakery? Can't these people be any less original?"

"I think it's quite fitting, your Holiness."

Like I said…weirdo's.

*o*O*o*

Upon entering, all three of our stomachs rumble obnoxiously loud. Bella looks quite possessed and Edward looks ready to pounce on the first morsel of sinful cake that comes our way.

"Welcome to Devil's Fork…I'm Alice," the exuberant, yet tired, woman manning the front counter says. She looks quite familiar to me…I just can't place from where.

"Do I know you?" She looks quite taken aback by my question…why, I have no clue, but I feel a certain pull towards this fiery red headed persona.

"Well, you should…it's all thanks to you that I ended up enslaved to this bakery."

"My fault…but how…why?"

"Look lady, and KK, could you do the whole 'I know you but don't remember you' dance later? We have been hearing nothing but indecent things about your desserts and we're both going rabid with hunger over here." God, that man's voice is decadently sexual…what wouldn't I do to keep him.

"Listen KK, Katherine, or whatever else you call yourself these days…if you use me, or my Father's name, while sinning again, it will be on like Donkey Kong…got it?" I nod stiffly, deathly afraid to upset the beautiful woman again or embarrass myself further by speaking out loud.

The gorgeous god next to her laughs quite loudly at our exchange, causing every woman in the room to gasp…the sound just too beautiful to be ignored.

"What?" he says while giving his wife a sinful grin.

Jesus, that smirk is hot.

"One more lady, I'm officially warning you!"

"Okay…how about I dish out today's special and we all calm down?"

"Please the wacko and her minion, answer."

"Grrrr."

"Calm down, sweetie…you wouldn't be the person you are if you attack. Remember love, peace and forgiveness." She nods and begins to do this weird breathing exercise.

"Your Father would be so proud…that's right, just remember you turn the other cheek, not break theirs."

"Easier said than done, Mi Angel Caido."

"Love it when you speak in other languages…so sexy."

"Here you go," Alice gushes, while presenting them an extremely large tray, filled to the brim with treats. "We have Drunken Angel Cake, Fallen Angel Cookies, Devil's Cheese Cake and Devil's Nuts Brownies."

"This looks amazing," her Holiness claims through giggles, while her counterpart begins to dig in. His nimble fingers tear off a tiny morsel of brownie and he sexily begins to feed her…his long finger entering her mouth with each bite.

"Oh Anti," she moans while he growls, "Jesus."

Their eyes are solely for the other and each time a new flavor enters through their lips, they kiss, slowly tasting what the other has just swallowed. It is the most sexual experience of my life and from what I can tell of Red's demeanor, hers too. I may have absently been stroking my button, in fact, I'm pretty sure I am because I'm hearing muted 'clicks' from my pants.

"Oh fuck, the Fallen Angel is to die for…just don't tell your dad that."

"Fuck, no," Edward groans as she sucks his tongue into her mouth, "fucker doesn't need a bigger head."

"God, no."

"Jesus, are they hot to watch."

"I know, Red…I know."

They stay in their seats for about an hour… massacring the entire tray and the two cups of coffee Red offered about half way through their gluttony. Finally, after my panties are thoroughly ruined and they have had enough foreplay, we leave.

"Thanks for the naughty snack KK, I will be the bigger deity here today and forgive you for all your impure thoughts… just don't do it again… okay?" Bella says as she extends her hand, her fingers sticky when I grasp it. A shock travels down my arm and I swear the button clicks itself.

Fucking sexy weirdos.

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