Give Me A Little Trust

Chapter Nineteen: Waiting

Bella's POV

The clinic, like usual, was busy. One thing you do not think about when going for IVF is the waiting. You have to wait for the first appointment. You have to wait for the injections to work. You have to wait for the eggs to be collected. You have to wait for the doctors to fertilise them. You have to wait to be called to have your embryos implanted. You have to wait to find out if you're pregnant. It was all so maddening.

Sitting in that waiting room was killer. We were literally minutes away from officially beginning our journey as parents. Once the embryos were inside of me then that was it, we had begun. But instead, we were waiting, waiting for our turn and each second felt like an hour going by.

Eventually, they called us and we wasted no time following the nurse through to the room. She told me to remove all my clothing below the waist and to get comfortable on the bed and cover myself with the sheet. They were then going to move me through into the surgical room for the procedure to start.

Of course once I had done that we were back to waiting again. The nurse returned shortly with a few others and they moved me through the clinic, with Edward at my side, before pushing the bed through the doors to the surgical room. Inside was my doctor and several other members of staff who I assumed were there to assist in the procedure if need be.

Once the bed was wheeled into place Edward came to stand by my side again. He took my hand and every so often he would kiss my knuckles. He was anxious, and I couldn't blame him. I was anxious too. Both of us knew not to say anything at that moment. There were no words needed. We just wanted to get started.

Dr. Chilton finished getting prepped and turned to us, smiling. There was no doubt about it, he could see all the emotions effecting us. I gathered he was being so friendly to try and help us relaxed, though really, I didn't think anything would relax me at that point.

"Edward, Bella, it's good to see you both. Are we ready to get started?" He didn't wait for our nods, just turned and introduced one of the other staff members who was present. "Okay. Bella, this is Dr. Hewitt and he's an embryologist. He's going to make sure we actually implant the embryos. Important job."

I gave a nervous smile at them both and nodded. The nerves were getting to me. I was ready to go, desperate to start, but also worried about what could go wrong. As if Edward knew my thoughts he gave my hand a little squeeze, reassuring me.

"Right, so this is what we're going to do. You'll put your feet in the stirrups," Dr. Chilton tapped the stirrups as he said this, "And then I'll use a vaginal speculum to expose your cervix. This'll be cleaned, then using an ultrasound scan as a guide, I'll guide a catheter and deposit your embryos into your uterine cavity. Dr. Hewitt will then check the catheter to make sure they're not still in there. If everything goes to plan, the embryos will start to implant in two or three days. How does that sound? Not too daunting?"

"No, it sounds fine," I replied.

"Will Bella experience any pain?" Edward asked, my hand receiving another squeeze.

"No there shouldn't be pain. At most there will be a slight discomfort. Everything will be fine. Now, let's begin."

I did as I was instructed and placed my feet into the stirrups. By this point along in the IVF treatment I really did not care about being modest. After all, how could I be? I'd had countless doctors and nurses staring, poking and prodding with their instruments, at my vagina since it all began. Putting my feet up in some stirrups was nothing by now.

Dr. Chilton then began the procedure. All the while Edward and I were either looking at each other or at the ultrasound screen once it was in use. Both men seemed happy with the location of the catheter and then the embryos were deposited inside of me. I could not really feel anything at all apart from the slight discomfort the vaginal speculum was causing. It was not bad though. Hell, I was ecstatic just to have begun the procedure.

Once the whole thing was over, I was wheeled back into my room where I was to remain for several hours before they would let me go home to get settled. From that point on, when we returned to the room, Edward and I were now in the two week wait.

Two weeks.

Two weeks until we found out if I was pregnant or not. Two weeks and we have our baby.

When we were finally left alone I broke out into a huge smile and pulled Edward to me, kissing him fiercely. He chuckled into my kiss but returned it as well as he could. We pulled away from each other still grinning like idiots.

It was a knock at the door that finally dissolved the smiles from our faces. We were both expecting the worst but thankfully the easy smile Dr. Chilton wore when he entered made us relax instantly.

"I wanted to give you both these. We took a photo of your embryos before the implantation. Enjoy." He handed an envelope to Edward and then left us alone.

Edward brought it over to the bed and we opened it together, taking out the photo. I knew it wasn't going to be much to look at, after all the embryos were only about one hundred cells big but still, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of them. Those cells were a part of Edward and a part of me. They were us, our baby.

We had had two embryos implanted into my uterine cavity. Multiple births were likely, due to how long we had waited to have them implanted. Therefore, it was safer to only implant two. One baby would be a miracle; two would be a gift from God. Either way we would be happy.

Although I was worried about the possibility of our baby developing the genetic condition that both Edward and I were carriers of, I was not giving it too much thought. A baby was a baby no matter what and we would always love our child.

For the following five hours, I remained in bed while Edward sat next to me. He looked so much happier. The familiar glow that he once held was back, and I was overjoyed to see it. I loved him beyond belief and would do whatever it took to make him happy.

We spoke about everything and anything during those five hours. He was opening up to me more and explaining many of the problems and insecurities he had. I was doing my best to reassure him, and it felt like we had made some real progress. I just hoped that if the IVF failed then we would not go backwards, or that he would retreat back into his shell again.

Dr. Chilton returned, again all smiles, and began to explain the next part of the process. It was all up to my body, we could do no more than what we were already doing. I was to keep taking the tablets I had been on to help things along but of course there was no sure guarantee.

"The next two weeks are going to be awful for you, I'm sorry to say. It's a waiting game. You both just need to wait and see if everything is successful. Of course, we do have some suggestions for what to do and what not to do in that time."

"Bella, our advice is to take it easy for at least the next two weeks. Avoid strenuous exercise entirely, this includes any heavy lifting or carrying. If you have any spot bleeding, which can occur, do not use tampons. Swimming is out and steer clear of saunas, hot tubs or Jacuzzis. Try and avoid any exposure to solvents containing lead. Avoid products containing raw eggs, so no mayonnaise or ice cream. Non-pasteurized milk, soft and blue cheeses are out and raw shellfish is a definite no no. Do not drink alcohol excessively. Ensure your food is cooked correctly and stay hydrated. Eat a healthy diet, plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Just stay as healthy as possible and keep clear of anyone who has flu-like symptoms. And to top off the list of 'don'ts', we also advise that you refrain fom intercourse for the next two weeks.

Now if you're not sure whether or not you should do something, just ask yourself this, 'if I don't get pregnant, will I regret or blame it on this?' Because I can assure you, if you're having those doubts you probably shouldn't be doing it." Dr. Chilton finished with a smile and shrugged. "I have no concerns that you two will manage fine over the next two weeks, so don't worry."

Internally, I thanked Dr. Chilton for not saying we'd be successful first time or something to that effect. I just knew not to get my hopes up. We still had two weeks.

"So how do we know exactly when to take a pregnancy test?" Edward asked, frowning a little.

"Well, if you haven't commenced your menstrual cycle in fourteen days you can take a home pregnancy test. But we ask you to remember they can give false results, the best way of confirming pregnancy is by a blood test. On the sixteenth day you come back here and we'll take a blood sample and check the hormone levels in that. Then we can officially tell you whether or not it was successful. Even if you have your menstrual cycle, we still need you to come in for that appointment to run the blood test anyway.. Alright?"

"Yeah, I think so. Are we free to go now?"

"Indeed. Just remember my advice and I'll see you both in sixteen days." With a final farewell we bid Dr. Chilton goodbye and got ready to leave.

Understandably, Edward didn't want me doing anything when we got home. I was almost certain that he was going to carry me rather than let me walk. Making the decision for myself, I entered the house without bother. When inside though Edward told me that he didn't want me doing anything whatsoever.

"You need to rest."

"Edward I can do some things," I said, not wanting to be stuck in bed entirely.

"Please Bella, just trust me here. Let me take care of you."

"You need to go to work tomorrow, then what do I do?" I asked, heading on up the stairs to our bedroom.

"I'll work something out. Now please love, let's not take any more risks than we have to." I could not say no to him as I was petrified it wouldn't work, and that we would be without child by the end of the two weeks.

"Okay, I'll stay in bed." He smiled and nodded, pleased with my decision.

"Thank you, now please, go lie down. I don't want you on your feet any longer than absolutely necessary." Rolling my eyes I crawled onto our bed and striped off my jeans. Edward handed me a pair of pyjama bottoms to put on before I scrambled under the covers to rest.

It wasn't until my head hit the pillow that I realised how exhausted I was. Taking one final look at Edward I shot him a sleepy smile. We were going to be parents. It may not happen from this IVF cycle but at some point we were going to be parents and I couldn't wait.

I awoke to Edward bringing me some food. It was mid evening yet I still felt tired. It was most likely the emotional exhaustion tiring me out rather than the physical. Either way, I knew that once I had eaten, I would need to go back to sleep.

Just like the doctor had suggested, Edward gave me lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, with the beef having been cooked perfectly. He was not taking a single chance with me, with our baby, and I couldn't help but love him even more for that.

Edward was going to be an amazing father. He had so much love and care to give that I just knew he would dote on his children constantly. Desperately I wanted to be the one to give him that, give him the one thing he desired so much. Silently praying to God, I hoped that at least one of the two embryos would implant, and that we would get our baby. Having it so close made me hopeful.

After dinner, like I predicted, I was ready to fall asleep again. What made things even better was when Edward climbed into bed with me. He had locked up the house and was finally joining me in our bed once again. That made me so happy, and I felt like the day couldn't get any better.

Right before he turned off the lights, he pulled the covers down and pushed my top up to reveal my abdomen. I watched as he lowered his head, so he was eye level with my front and listened carefully as he began to speak.

"Now I know you two have yet to implant yourselves onto mummy yet but daddy just wanted to give you a little message. You may only be one hundred cells big, but we love you with all our hearts. Mummy and I will be waiting here for you so in nine months time you can grace us with your presence. We look forward to meeting you, and remember that we love you, no matter what." He kissed my stomach and nuzzled it with his nose.

Lifting his head when I ran my fingers through his hair, he raised his eyebrows.

"Was that silly of me?"

"No, no Edward. Not silly at all." My voice cracked slightly from all the emotions. Crawling his way back up to me Edward kissed my forehead and covered my body once more with the covers.

"I just want this baby so much," he admitted, holding me close to him.

"Me too, me too."

"It'll happen for us, right?"

"Yes. It'll happen for us. We'll get our baby Edward, I promise." Kissing my forehead again Edward nodded.

"I love you Bella, you've given me more than I could have ever hoped for. I intend to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you've made me." Whispering my love for him, I closed my eyes in contentment.

We were finally getting there. We were on the way to being parents. Granted, it wasn't from natural conception, and it hadn't been easy but it was worth it. Our baby was worth it.

The following morning I almost forgot I wasn't meant to be doing anything. Thankfully, Edward had allowed me to shower. Although he was awfully paranoid I couldn't blame him because even I was worrying about simplest things.

Once I was dried and dressed Edward put me back in bed. He brought me my breakfast and set up the television, so I could watch whatever I wanted, in the hope that would keep me entertained. And it did for most part of the morning. I kept myself amused by watching several movies while Edward sat in one of the armchairs working away.

He was going to have to go back to the office eventually, I knew that much. But for now he seemed determined to stay with me as much as possible. All of his actions told me that Edward would always put his family before his work and that was something that wouldn't change. Our baby was going to be very lucky to have him as a father. And we were going to be very lucky to have our baby.

Around one o'clock that afternoon the doorbell rang and I immediately panicked, thinking it was Alice looking for Edward or something. However, it most definitely wasn't Alice. When the person spoke, I instantly recognised the voice but couldn't place who it was. And as the bedroom door was shut, I couldn't work out what was being said.

Edward spent half an hour with the familiar but mysterious guest before showing them out. I heard their car drive away and then Edward's footsteps on the stairs. He opened the door softly, peeking in to see if I was asleep or not. When he saw I wasn't he smiled brightly at me and came to join me on the bed.

"Who was at the door?" I asked, not able to hold back my curiosity.

"Lauren," Edward replied nonchalantly.

"Lauren? As in, Lauren your ex-wife?" I questioned, my voice taking on a rather hysterical tone that I seemed to have no control over.

"Yeah, that Lauren."

"Oh," I replied, not sure what to say. A million questions were running through my mind, and I had no idea where to start.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled back, frowning at the bed sheets.

"Bella, will you look at me please?" I turned to him to listen to what he was going to say. The questions had gone and had been replaced with all different scenarios, mainly involving Edward leaving me for Lauren, who was carrying his baby. It was all so ridiculous but yet my mind thought it was very plausible.

"Bella, Lauren came by because she found out who told the papers about my infertility." His words cleared my mind instantly.

"What?" Edward chuckled at my reaction and shook his head.

"I knew you were going to think the worst," he mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Lauren found out who told the papers about how I was infertile and she wanted to tell me who it was."

"Who was it?" I needed to know as I could remember so well when Edward thought I was the one who had betrayed his trust.

"You weren't the only one who had overheard Lauren and I arguing in the dining room that night. Lauren's closest friend Jessica also heard." Edward shrugged and sighed. "Jessica only told Lauren yesterday about it. She let it slip when they were speaking about old times. I am sorry, you know? For thinking it was you?"

"I know Edward," I replied gently, snuggling close to him.

He had hurt me then with his accusations but I could understand his way of thinking. And knowing Edward like I did I knew he was still beating himself up over that. If he could take it back I knew he would.

Now wasn't the time to dwell on the past though, now was the time to look to the future. I was thankful that Lauren had cleared up that past issue but from then on I wanted to focus on the present and the future. After all, we had some exciting things to come if all went to plan.

For the rest of the afternoon we had curled up on the bed and watched movies, talking throughout most of them. I had expected us to be a little bit more anxious, but then again, it was only day one of fourteen. There was no doubt about it, by day ten we would be anxious as hell.

Thinking that there were not going to be any more visitors that day I was surprised when I heard the front door opening and someone come in. Edward kissed my cheek and headed downstairs to see who it was. Two sets of footsteps on the stairs told me that whoever had come in was coming straight to see me. I knew it wasn't Alice or one of our friends as their voice was unfamiliar. But when they walked into the room their face was not.

I smiled at the woman before me, recognising her from the first night I met Edward. She was a gorgeous woman, age having not marred her appearance. The little she had aged was graceful and only added to how striking she was. I could hardly believe that she was actually Edward and Alice's mother. She certainly didn't look old enough to have two fully grown children.

"Bella, I want you to meet my mother, Esme," Edward said, introducing the two of us for the first time.

"It's an honour to meet you Bella," Esme greeted, walking further into the bedroom. "Edward has invited me to come and stay with you for the next week. Carlisle is away on business and I was going to be alone. I hope you don't mind?"

"Oh no, not at all. It'll be great having you here." I smiled reassuringly and shot Edward a curious look. I knew his father was away on business but something told me his mother wasn't just staying with us to combat loneliness.

Edward smirked and raised his eyebrows at me, basically challenging me to refuse him this. Esme was going to be here to take care of me when he went back to work, she just didn't know it yet. As I didn't want to risk the IVF not working I nodded and smiled at him, reassuring him that I was okay with this. He shot me a grateful smile before turning to his mother who seemed to have missed the entire exchange.

"Actually mum, there is another reason I've invited you to stay," Edward began, sitting on the bed and motioning for her to sit in one of the armchairs present in the room. "I told you that Bella had the flu and was resting, hence why she was in the bed. That was a lie."

"Why would you lie Edward?" she asked, frowning at him before turning her soft gaze onto me. "You're not seriously ill, are you sweetie?"

"No, I'm not seriously ill. This is nothing life threatening." Edward gave me a soft smile and turned back to his mother.

"Bella and I have started IVF treatment. Yesterday the embryos were implanted, which means in two weeks we'll find out if we're going to have a baby or not."

I was expecting many reactions from Esme, but what I was not expecting was for her to start crying silent tears and give me the most grateful smile I'd ever seen. Getting up she crossed the room and sat on the bed next to me, opening her arms for a hug. I moved softly into her arms, feeling accepted, and no longer worried about her being completely horrified that her son was trying to have a baby out of wedlock.

"So you're not mad Mum?" Esme turned to Edward and shook her head.

"No, not mad at all. You've wanted a baby for so long. I hope it works out. And from everything Alice has told me about Bella, I know you two are going to be perfect parents for when you do get your little one."

Edward beamed at his mother and visibly relaxed. He had to have been nervous telling her that, especially seeing as we had already gone ahead with the whole process. He couldn't exactly have backed out of it if she had wished him to. Thankfully, Esme wasn't like that though and watching her return the smile her son gave her, I knew she wouldn't have an issue with anything as long as her children were happy.

Esme ended up nestling up next to me on the bed and Edward took a seat in the armchair. We told her all about our relationship and our decision to try for a baby. Esme didn't even bat an eyelid when we explained how long we had been together. Alice probably told her but with the news we were trying for a baby it still didn't seem to faze her, and for that I was glad.

We then went on to ask her to keep the whole thing a secret. There was already so much pressure, which we were putting on ourselves to succeed, that we didn't need any more of it. Esme understood completely and agreed to keep it a secret from the rest of the family. Though we did agree to let her tell Carlisle when he returned as it didn't seem fair for her to keep that from her husband.

"Do you know when you'll tell your parents, Bella?" Esme asked, holding my hand.

"Oh…well no. I've not really given it much thought." Even considering it made me cringe. Of course Edward thought I was in pain or something. Esme seemed to know what the problem was though.

"They won't be happy, will they?"

"No, I don't think they will." Edward's gaze softened on me and he frowned.

"Why?"

"They both think that you need to be at least thirty five to have a baby. So by their standards, I'm far too young. They'll think this is just a silly impulse or phase that will pass in time, not something serious. I just think it best if they don't know for now."

"I'm sorry Bella," Esme began, saying the words her son's eyes were projecting. "I will be with you throughout this all. If you ever need to talk just let me know. I'm here for you, you're family now." All my emotions were getting the better of me and I had to fight back the tears.

"Thank you Esme, thank you so much."

"No need to thank me Bella. You're a Cullen now."

Her acceptance meant more to me than she would ever know. It was a huge deal to me. I knew my parents wouldn't be pleased with the news of a possible grandchild so knowing that at least my baby would have one set of grandparents I was relieved. I wanted my baby to grow up knowing who its family was and having the love and support that came with it. The Cullens clearly were going to do that.

I grew tired as the evening wore on. It seemed as though doing nothing was particularly exhausting. Edward wouldn't let me sleep until I had eaten though, which I could understand. While I munched on my food Edward informed his mother of all the different rules I had been given for what to do and not do in the two weeks.

Esme seemed to share her sons concern that if I did anything other than the absolute minimal then our chances of success decreased. In reality, there was no evidence proving that constant bed rest after implantation increased your chances of getting pregnant. However, it wasn't an issue I was going to fight as I was willing to do anything still to get pregnant. Hell, we had come this far, no point falling at the last hurdle.

By the time I was ready to sleep Esme and Edward had come up with a foolproof plan to make sure I was hardly on me feet. Their level of care and love was overwhelming. This was the type of family that deserved a baby. Edward was the type of man that deserved to be a father. And right then I considered myself the luckiest woman in the world. Being a member of their family was a privilege, and I was honoured to be a part of it.

A.N.

Major thanks to Lead69 for beta reading this so quickly and for fixing all my silly mistakes. Without her this would be dreadful, trust me. See you all next chapter!