Catching Fire in Peeta's Point of View
Chapter Three
When we step off the train, we're greeted by eight Peacekeepers, who silently lead us into an armoured truck. Not exactly the most gracious of welcomes, and Effie is huffing at our side.
"Really, you'd think we were all criminals," she mutters. Manners are very important to Effie, and I can see someone getting an earful in the near future.
The truck stops at the back of the Justice Building and without even being allowed to take a breath, they're leading us to the front doors, where the anthem is already beginning to play. Someone pins a microphone to my shirt and they're pushing us forward again. I take hold of Katniss's hand; partially for the story we've created for the whole of Panem, partly to keep myself steady and grounded, and partly because I know how hard this particular District will be for Katniss. She had allied with Rue, had grown very fond of the small girl, and had watched her die.
"Big smiles!" Effie says, nudging us forward. We step out and there's loud applause, but more of a forced applause, none of the cheering we would normally receive in the Capitol. There are banners that have been placed all over the square, which I think may be something to do with how run down the buildings all are. There are a lot of people packed into the area, but I'm sure it's not even half of the people in this District.
We stand together as the Mayor gives out the speech in our honour, and then I have to talk. It's a scripted reply we'd been told to say, and Katniss follows. We're supposed to give personal comments on the Tributes who died in the Games, which I'd written down on a card. But I don't need to pull them out to read, I already know what's written on them.
"Both Thresh and Rue were strong in their own way, and it saddens me that I never got to chance to know either of them. I strongly believe that if we had lived in the same District, the fearsome, strong Thresh and I would be good friends. He had a kind side to him, which we all saw when he let Katniss go at the Feast. I'm eternally grateful to both Thresh and Rue for helping to keep Katniss alive in the Arena, and in turn keeping me alive to this day. It's a debt to you all that we will forever be unable to repay." I hesitate, knowing the next part I want to say but had not written down. Effie would have refused to let me. "It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we'd like for each of the tributes' families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winning every year for the duration of our lives." Now that it's said, the Capitol cannot deny the families even if it isn't legal or anything. There are gasps and murmurs in the crowd.
Katniss looks at me, with some surprise in her eyes. I flash her a smile, but perhaps it's not the happiest smile I'd ever mustered. Suddenly, she lifts herself to her tiptoes and kisses me gently. The mayor steps forward to hand us our large plaques, but Katniss is looking off to the side, to Rue's family.
"Wait!" Katniss suddenly says, stumbling forward with her plaque clutched to her chest. "Wait, please." All eyes are on Katniss. "I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District Eleven. I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's terms but his own. The Careers wanted him to team up with them from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that." The crowd is silent, more silent than I've ever heard a bunch of people be before. I stand a few steps behind her, my gaze fixed on Katniss. She's turning now, to face Rue's family. "But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the Meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim. Thank you for your children." Her head movse now, to look at the whole crowd staring back at her. "And thank you all for the bread." There's a moment silence, in which all stare at Katniss. Suddenly, from an old man in the crowd, comse the four note whistle that I had heard Katniss whistle, the one that Rue had taught her.
Out of nowhere, every person in the crowd presses the three middle fingers of their left hand against their lips and extends them towards Katniss. They had all moved in unison, and it was certainly not something spontaneous. It had to be planned. It's also a sign not seen in the other Districts, it is one that we use in District Twelve as a final goodbye. It is odd, and I'm sure it has really touched Katnis. The mayor takes over, and I take Katniss' hand again, leading her back to the doors. Katniss stops, looking like she might be ill or upset.
"Are you all right?" I ask her.
"Just dizzy. The sun was so bright." She glances down at the flowers in my hand. "I forgot my flowers," she mumbles.
"I'll get them."
"I can." Katniss answers. We turn together, and see what I feel is something we are not meant to. The old man who had whistled Rue's four note tune is being dragged to the top of the steps, where we had just been standing. They force him to his knees and right in front of everyone in the crowd, they put a bullet through his head.
I'd seen death before. I'd been in the Arena where twenty two people had died, after all. But this man is not a Tribute in the Games, this is an old man who works in District Eleven. Did they shoot him because he dared to whistle? Surely the security in this District cannot be that bad? Several Peacekeepers in white stand in our view, a few of them shoving weapons in our direction to push up back to the doors. One of them starts pushing Katniss forward, and I shove him aside.
"We're going!" I snap. "We get it, all right? Come on, Katniss." I wrap my arm around her protectively, and guide her back into the Justice Building. It's only when we're inside that the Peacekeepers stop following us closely. Haymitch, Effie, Portia and Cinna are waiting for us, their faces tight and anxious.
"What happened? We lost the feed just after Katniss' beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard a gunfire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!" Effie starts to get hysterical, and I know telling her the truth would be of no use to anybody.
"Nothing happened, Effie. An old truck backfired." Two more shots are fired outside, and I cringe. Who else could they have shot now?
"Both of you. With me," Haymitch says, gesturing to Katniss and I. We follow him, and the others stay behind. The Peacekeepers inside the building don't follow us intently like those outside. Haymitch leads us both us a twisting marble staircase, where there's a room at the top that has been prepared for us all. Suddenly, Haymitch yanks the microphones from our shirts and stuffs them behind a sofa cushion, leading us further on through a maze of staircases and narrow halls, through squeaking and protesting doors. I wonder how he could remember his way, because I'm sure I'll never find my way out if left on my own.
Finally we stop. In the dome of the Justice Building, filled with old furniture and forgotten objects that are covered in a thick layer of dust. The window is grimy and dirt filled, so that light struggles to filter into the room. Haymitch spins on his heels to look at us.
"What happened?" I tell him what happened in the Square after our speeches. About the old man's whistle, about the crowd using the District Twelve sign, about the old man being shot. That memory still rattles me, seeing the man crumple to the ground like that. "What's going on, Haymitch?" Because these are not normal events. That old man cannot have been shot just because he whistled. Katniss has been tense and secretive since we started the tour, Haymitch and Katniss whispering in the shadows.
"It will be better coming from you," Haymitch is looking at Katniss. I turn on my heels to look at her. Katniss tells me all about the things she has been keeping secret from me, about President Snow visiting her, and the country being in peril because of a rebellion. All started from our rebellious act with the berries. All on Katniss' shoulders.
"I was supposed to fix things on this tour. Make everyone who had doubted believe I acted out of love. Calm things down. But obviously, all I've done today is get three people killed, and now everyone in the square will be punished." Katniss sits down on an old, broken sofa.
"Then I made things worse, too. By giving the money." I say, and lash out at a broken lamp at my side. It smashes on the floor. I'm not only angry at the Capitol, but at the both of them. All of these secrets they've kept from me, when so many people have been in danger. My actions could put my family in danger, because I had no idea what was going on. "This has to stop. Right now. This – this – game you two play, where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I'm too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them." I snap.
"It's not like that, Peeta-" Katniss begins, but I cut her off.
"It's exactly like that!" I shout at her. "I have people I care about, too, Katniss! Family and friends back in District Twelve who will be just as dead as yours if we don't pull this off. So, after all we went through in the arena, don't I even rate the truth from you?" I rant, my chest heaving from the anger built up.
"You're always so reliably good. So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. I didn't want to disrupt that."
"Well, you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today. What do you think is going to happen to Rue's and Thresh's families? Do you think they'll get their share of our winnings? Do you think I gave them a bright future? Because I think they'll be lucky if they survive the day!" I lash out again. A statue, I think.
"He's right, Haymitch. We were wrong not to tell him. Even back in the Capitol." Katniss says, which makes me feel a little better. But not much. I still have more to say.
"Even in the arena, you two had some sort of system worked out, didn't you?" I lower my voice, not looking at either of them. "Something I wasn't part of."
"No. Not officially. I just could tell what Haymitch wanted me to do by what he sent, or didn't send." Katniss replies. Well, at least they hadn't sorted out some kind of code before we went into the arena.
"Well, I never had that opportunity. Because he never sent me anything until you showed up." I say. Well, I had always said that Katniss is his favourite. I had put all these thoughts aside because there was no use dwelling on such matters, but now it all came to the surface.
"Look, boy-" Haymitch begins.
"Don't bother, Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I'd have wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we're very good. We all know I'm better than Katniss in front of the cameras. No one needs to coach me on what to say. But I have to know what I'm walking into." The anger has left my voice now.
"From now on, you'll be fully informed."
"I better be." I say, leaving abruptly without looking at Katniss. I have to mull things over on my own, all of these secrets and dangers. I manage to find my way out of the maze that Haymitch has led us through, and get straight in the shower. It's not as fanciful as the ones in the Capitol, but at least it spurts out hot water. Even after I have washed myself I stay under the water, wishing the hot spray could wash away the anger that tenses all of my muscles. Katniss' words are still running around my mind in circles.
"President Snow knows that Gale and I kissed..." I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to push the sentence out of my head, but I can't. She had kissed Gale, or Gale has kissed her. More than once? Is that how she's been spending her time since returning? With Gale in the woods, kissing under the trees? I remember something about Gale working in the mines now, but it doesn't mean he doesn't have some spare time. I can't help but think that she had probably kissed Gale of her own volition, rather than a trick to survive and stay alive.
I don't know how long I stay in the water, but my Prep team come to drag me out and dress me. I strap my leg back on and allow them to dress me, as I have done so many times before. I don't even feel any embarrassment standing naked before them any more. They don't even seem to notice. It's obvious that the Prep team have no idea what has happened during the day, or any of the threats Katniss, and now I, have to deal with. They dress me in rather plain clothes tonight, black trousers and a button shirt. It's finished off with a long, pink tie and a black suit jacket.
Haymitch appears in the room, and shoos the Prep team out to meet up with the others. I'm surprised by his sudden appearance, and not sure what to make of it. I brace myself for whatever might come next, a possible lecture or onslaught of slurred insults. I have no idea.
"I've never seen you that angry before," he says, looking at me with an unreadable expression.
"Yes. Well, I'm starting to get sick of the lies." I mutter, not adding how hurt and broken the last set of lies had left me.
"You shouldn't be so hard on Katniss." I turn my attention to him. "I made her lie to you, I thought it was best to keep you out of it all. She was just following what I told her." I tug at the sleeves of my jacket, picking off invisible dust. I'm not sure what to say.
"She still went along with it," I mumble. "All she seems to do is build up lies when it comes to me." I turn my eyes away, hoping he doesn't see the hurt in them.
"You're acting as if you've never lied to her, boy." My brows knit together in a frown. "You waited until you were in front of the whole of Panem before you told her you love her." Love, not loved. He knows the feelings haven't gone. I nod my head, and Haymitch seems to accept this as some some of apology because he turns to leave. After a few steps, he pauses and looks back at me. "Those nightmares – you get them a lot?" I look at him, his curiosity, his understanding. Sometimes I think it might be easier if I took up a bottle of liquor like Haymitch. Perhaps it is the answer to getting rid of them.
"Does it ever get easier?" I ask quietly. Haymitch scoffs and shakes his head, looking down at his feet.
"Wouldn't know. Never gave it a chance to, boy." He says and disappears. I stare after him, but decide I'll think on the matter later.
Portia appears a few minutes later and walks up to me with a smile, holding something in her hands. I wonder if she knows. I realise that it is a silver chain she has in her hand, which she clasps around my neck. With her hands on my shoulders, she leans in and quietly murmurs, "You'll do a good job, I know you will." She pulls back with a bright smile, and I know she wants to say more, she wants to talk fully with me without fear of the cameras. It is then that I realise I have gained a good friend, someone I can trust with my thoughts. "Don't forget your brightest smile."
The pink tie seems odd, but I understand it when we meet the others. Katniss has been dressed in a pink dress. I've never seen her hair curled before, but I notice that she is still as beautiful as ever. Just friends, I remind myself in my head. Except in front of the cameras. It's funny, how it's all meant to be a pretend, but in front of the cameras is probably going to be the moments I'll really be true to my feelings.