Catching Fire in Peeta's Point of View
Chapter Six will be posted in a couple of hours.
Chapter Five
There's a large party after the interview has ended, and it's truly a grand one. The walls are lined with tables full of food, and Katniss surprises me when she sees them.
"I want to taste everything in the room," she says and I glance at her in surprise. I can't figure out the expression on her face, or what she's thinking. She has barely eaten since District Eleven, so why is her appetite suddenly returning to her? I wonder if perhaps she's gotten some good news somewhere, that we had done good work. That it's all going to be okay. I have to push my confusion aside because the cameras are still here, so I curve my lips into a smile.
"Then you'd better pace yourself."
"Okay, no more than one bite of each dish," Katniss decides. I watch her in amusement as she sets at the food, managing to keep to her decision for most dishes but breaking with a few particular dishes that she enjoys. I pick at some of the food, not wanting to fill myself before we even reach the fifth table.
We're not left to make our way through the meals though, because people are constantly coming up to and asking for pictures, making small talk, showing Katniss what they had created from her mockingjay token. There are pieces of jewellery, odd little bits, personal tattoos. It's quite mad, really.
We make it to the tenth table before Katniss' Prep team come stumbling across to us, words slurred with the alcohol.
"Why aren't you eating?" one of them asks.
"I have been, but I can't hold another bite." Katniss says, which isn't surprising. She had literally tried everything so far, and pushed certain foods upon me. I'm starting to feel full, so I can imagine Katniss being ready to burst.
"No one lets that stop them!" The lead us away to a different table, full of wine glasses that are filled with a clear liquid. It reminds me of what Haymitch drinks. I have a feeling this isn't the same kind of drink, though. "Drink this!"
I pick one up and sniff the drink, about to take a sip. The three of them go mad.
"Not here!" one shrieks.
"You have to do it in there," they point to the bathrooms. "Or you'll get it all over the floor!" I frown, looking down at the glass. A drink you have to have in the bathroom, that helps you to eat more? It clicks in my mind.
"You mean this will make me puke?" I ask, to make sure I have it right.
"Of course, so you can keep eating. I've been in there twice already. Everybody does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?" I curl my nose up in disgust and carefully place the glass back down on the table, thinking again how I will never understand these Capitol citizens. Filling their stomachs with food, throwing up, and filling up again. Repeatedly. When there are people in some Districts who are lucky if they get one meal. I think of the starving Districts, starting to rise against the Capitol and what it stands for. I wonder if maybe they aren't all wrong, after all. I suddenly want to be away from the glasses of liquid, and away from these people.
"Come on Katniss, let's dance." I take her hand and we both make our way through the crowd to the floor, where there are others dancing. I don't know many dances, but it's better than listening to people talk of throwing up for the pleasure of eating more. The music above is slow, so I pull Katniss into my arms and we move in a slow circle, the dance only needs a few simple steps. My mind is ablaze without thoughts of the people around us. Every time, they manage to surprise me again when I think I'm getting used to them.
"You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they're not so bad, and then you-" I stop, cutting off my sentence. Aware of the ears around us, all of them Capitol.
"Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment. Really, this is nothing in comparison." Katniss points out.
"I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it any more. To the point where … I'm not sure what I'll do." I pause, glancing around to make sure no one is listening and lowering my voice to a whisper. "Maybe we were wrong, Katniss."
"About what?"
"About trying to subdue things in the Districts." I say. She snaps her head back and forth, to make sure there is nobody to overhear the conversation. I mentally kick myself for bringing this up in the middle of the dancefloor full of Capitol citizens, with a camera crew just across the room. "Sorry," I mutter.
"Save it for home." She says. I nod my head subtly, and then Portia is at our side and escorted by a large man; she introduces him as Plutarch Heavensbee. He smiles at me good naturedly, and I return my camera winning smile.
"I was wondering if perhaps I could steal away your fiancé for a dance?" He asks. Fiancé. It's odd hearing it said out loud.
"Of course, so long as you don't get too attached to her," I joke, making him laugh. I turn to Portia, who is already holding her hand out to me. I chuckle and take it in mine; we dance away in circles and it's obvious Portia is used to more elaborate dances.
"How are you doing, Peeta?" She asks, quiet enough so that only I can hear.
"Well, I think. Katniss seems in good spirits."I comment, knowing she'll understand my meaning.
"Yes, I wonder what's perked her up." We share a knowing glance, but know we can't talk openly about it here.
"Portia, do you ever drink those drinks that make you puke?" I ask, not sure I want to hear the answer. I can feel her curious glance at the side of my face.
"The Capitol and the Districts have very different lifestyles, Peeta."
"Yes, like how you all never have to worry about starving. You can make yourself throw up in order to carry on eating." I say, with a hint of bitterness to my voice. Portia sighs quietly, and we turn again, coming to the edge of the dancing people. There seem to be people there waiting to congratulate me on everything they know. My Victory in the Games, my paintings, my engagement.
"I know how you view us, Peeta. These are the views and ways I was brought up on, it's always been normal in my life for people to drink those drinks." I cross my arms across my chest, lean in for someone who wants a photo taken, remembering my camera smile.
I don't want to fight with Portia, but it's hard not to categorise her with the other Capitol people around me, sometimes I forget she's just as much on of them as my Prep team, or those rushing to the bathroom with their wine glass of clear liquid. She's also the woman I've been able to turn to ever since the last Games, and she's become a good friend.
"I'm sorry, Portia." I sigh. "I know we were brought up on different customs." Portia smiles and pats the back of my hand.
"Don't worry yourself, Peeta my love. I know things have been stressful for you." She says gently and I smile back, amazed at how patient she can be with me.
"Oh! I must dash, darling. I've just seen a very handsome someone!" She says excitedly and I laugh.
"Go on, enjoy yourself." I wander for a little while, and find myself at a very colourful table, laden with cupcakes and other baked goods.
"Oh my! Mr Mellark! It is honestly such a pleasure to meet you," A young man behind the table says excitedly, then is calling some other people over. I spend the next fifteen minutes talking with them about icing skills and all of the like, and they seem to listen to me enthusiastically. I much prefer this to all the photo taking, the smiling and small conversations.
"I'd love to examine your work in peace," I say after the hundredth question of how I like what they have done. "If you're able to, perhaps you could get a small assortment for me to take home with me to study."
"Yes, yes, of course!" I notice Katniss at my side, turning to smile at her.
"Effie said we have to be on the train at one. I wonder what times it is," I glance around in an attempt to look for a clock.
"Almost midnight," she replies instantly, picking up a chocolate flower and nibbling on it. I wonder how she knows the time, considering there's no kind of clock anywhere in the room that I can see.
"Time to say thank you and farewell!" Effie's bright voice makes me jump. She leads us around, picking up Cinna and Portia along the way, saying our goodbyes to all the important people in the room. She's leading us to the door to leave.
"Shouldn't we thank President Snow? It's his house." I say, thinking of our manners.
"Oh, he's not a big one for parties. Too busy. I've already arranged for the necessary notes and gifts to be sent to him tomorrow." She's looking around, barely paying attention to us. She seems to spot what, or rather who, she's looking for. "There you are!" Haymitch can't hold himself up, there are two Capitol attendants propping the man up between them. I'm not sure he's even conscious.
We leave the President's house and get into the cars, and of course Effie's planning is so precise that we arrive at the train station at exactly one o'clock. The attendants dump Haymitch in his room whilst the rest of us gather around the table, listening to Effie's reminder that the tour hasn't finished yet. I just want to go to sleep.
"There's the Harvest Festival in District Twelve to think about. So I suggest we drink our tea and head straight to bed," she says, much to my relief.
We all go to bed, but I don't stay in mine and go to Katniss' room instead. She's not screaming or thrashing around, but I get into bed just in case her nightmares start up soon. Katniss turns and rests her head on my arm, and it isn't long before I drift off.
"Help me! Save me, Peeta! No, help me!" Her screams startle me back into consciousness. I glance to me left, where I can feel her warmth against my body. I run my finger down her cheek, to make sure she's real and her face isn't covered in blood. Safe and well, in my arms. My breathing calms down and after some time I'm able to fall in a more peaceful slumber.
I wake up sometime in the early afternoon, but Katniss is still asleep with her head still on my arm. I don't move from where I'm laying and watch her for a while. It's not long before she wakes up and tries to turn carefully.
"No nightmares," I say.
"What?" she asks.
"You didn't have any nightmares last night," I point out.
"I had a dream, though." She says, looking lost in thought. "I was following a mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice."
"Where did she take you?" I ask quietly, brushing the hair back from her forehead.
"I don't know. We never arrived. But I felt happy."
"Well, you slept like you were happy." I say with a slight smile.
"Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?"
"I don't know." I answer, because my nightmares hadn't stopped with Katniss in my arms. I still got them most nights. "I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralysed with terror."
"You should wake me," she says.
"It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you," I admit. "I'm okay once I realise you're here." I think of how we're almost home, about us returning to our individual houses. Returning to the nightmares on my own, waking up on my own. It's okay here on the train, when Katniss is enclosed in my arms and the fears from the nightmares melt away. "Be worse when we're home and I'm sleeping alone again."
Katniss doesn't say anything and she barely even looks at me, getting out of the bed andd turning away from me. I stretch out my arm to get rid of the heavy feeling, from where Katniss' head had been layed most of the night. My leg is still strapped on so I stand up, stretching out my limbs. I don't unattach the leg when I share a bed with Katniss; I don't want to freak her out or anything like that. It can be somewhat uncomfortable but manageable. Katniss is paused, looking at me.
"So … I'll just go back to uh … to my room." I say, feeling more than awkward. Katniss nods.
"Yeah, okay. I need to shower anyway."
"Right," I mutter, pausing before turning to leave. I hope this isn't a hint of how our interactions are going to be from now on.