Catching Fire in Peeta's Point of View
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Chapter Seven
I make my way to my own house, falling into the door gratefully and with a heavy sigh. There's a chill in the house so I start up the fire, and fall onto the sofa. I try not to think about Gale, but of course I cannot think of anything else. I lose myself in the thoughts of Gale and Katniss and the heat of fire, and I'm not sure if I doze off, but the sound of the phone startles me. My first thought is that it must be Portia checking in.
"Hello?" I pick up the phone.
"Hey," it's not Portia, but Katniss' voice on the line. "I just wanted to make sure you got home." I smile briefly into the phone.
"Katniss, I live three houses away from you."
"I know, but with the weather and all."
"Well, I'm fine. Thank you for checking," I say and pause, we'd never really had a conversation on the phone. I'm not sure what to talk about, or whether I should just end the call. "How's Gale?" I ask quietly.
"All right. My mother and Prim are giving him a snow coat now." He probably won't remember our half conversation when he does wake.
"And your face?"
"I've got some, too. Have you seen Haymitch today?" She asks.
"I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread."
"I wanted to talk to – to both of you." She doesn't elaborate further and I understand why, because we have no idea who might be listening in on our phone conversations.
"Probably have to wait until after the weather calms down. Nothing much will happen before that, anyway."
"No, nothing much." She answers.
"Okay well... I'm going to go now." I say awkwardly, waiting until she says goodbye before putting the phone back down. I stare at the phone for a moment, as if it might grow legs and jump around the room.
"She doesn't love you ..." The same sentence has been running through my head ever since leaving Katniss' house, making me sad and angry all at the same time. Cursing loudly, I throw a nearby lamp to the ground, plummeting the room in almost darkness. The only light is the flickering of the fire, but it does nothing to calm all of the feelings bubbling inside. I storm to the kitchen and throw open the cupboards, pulling out plates and cups, most of the crockery that I know will smash. I pull plates down so that they fall straight to the floor and smash around my feet. I throw cups across the room, getting little comfort from the loud crashing sound they make on their impact. When most of the crockery from my cupboards are in shards on the floor, I slump down into a sitting position. There are tears staining my cheeks, and cuts on my hands and feet, and I still feel no better.
I don't know how long I sit in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by broken shards of porcelain. Eventually, I get up to make myself some tea, pouring half the bottle of sleeping potion into the hot drink. I return to the living room and sit in the near darkness, staring at the dancing flames and gulping my tea. Some time in the midst of all my hatred, I manage to fall asleep.
I wake up shivering, with nothing in the fireplace to warm me and nothing but snow outside. My hands are sore and there's dried blood on them, it feels like there are some cuts on my feet, I have a slight headache, but I had no nightmares. I slept the full night, right into the afternoon. It's a good feeling.
I get up from the sofa, having to stretch out to ease out the cramping in my real limbs. I wander into the kitchen in the search of food, but groan loudly at the sight before me. I'd forgotten about my mishap, in my brief excitement over not experiencing any nightmares. With a sigh, I set about clearing up the mess I had made in my anger, feeling ashamed of myself. When all of the mess is cleared, I have to dig out a medical kit from the back of a cupboard, cleaning and wrapping up my sore hands, then cleaning the few cuts on my feet.
I get stuck in my house for three days due to the snow storm. I find some crockery that I hadn't smashed up to use for food and drinks during those days, and find myself ringing Portia a few times. Just for some social company. I consider drinking more of the sleeping potion each night, but Haymitch comes to mind and I hide it in the back of a cupboard. I don't want to end up like that, blocking out my nightmares with an aid.
As soon as there's a path through the snow for us to use, Katniss calls me and invites me to the town. I knew it wouldn't take long. We meet outside Haymitch's house and make our way inside, shaking him awake. Katniss suggests pouring water over him, but I assure her that making some strong coffee for him to smell and shaking his shoulder hard enough will rouse him. He mutters and curses at us, but it seems half hearted and it isn't long before we have him up and out of the door. None of us say anything for a long time, until the Victor Village is far behind us.
"So we're all heading off into the great unknown, are we?" Haymitch breaks the awkward silence.
"No. Not any more." Katniss replies, with a strange determination in her voice. I already know she isn't planning on leaving the District, too much is happening.
"Worked through the flaws in that plan, did you, sweetheart? Any new ideas?" He asks.
"I want to start an uprising." I'm shocked into silence, but Haymitch is laughing.
"Well, i want a drink. You let me know how that works out for you, though." He chuckles.
"Then what's your plan?" Katniss snaps at him.
"My plan is to make sure everything is just perfect for your wedding," Haymitch says calmly, and I clench my jaw. "I called and rescheduled the photo shoot without giving too many details."
"You don't even have a phone," Katniss says.
"Effie had that fixed. Do you know she asked me if I'd like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better." I walk along beside them, unsure what to say or even think.
"Haymitch," Katniss says and he mimmicks her tone.
"Katniss. It won't work." Some men shovel past us, and both of them close their mouths. We still can't say anything more once the men are out of earshot, because we're now in the Square. As soon as we see the Square, all three of us stop in our tracks. The area has been swept up, there's huge banners with the seal of Panem hanging from the roof of the Justice Building, the Peacekeepers are wearing extremely clean white uniforms and there are nests of machine guns along the rooftops. Worse is what has been built up in the centre of square – an official whipping post, some stockades and gallows. It makes me feel ill.
"Thread's a quick worker," Haymitch mutters. A couple streets away there's a large blaze, with smoke rising up high into the sky. I'm sure the building on fire is The Hob, and Katniss and Haymitch know it too. I'd been in there a few times, especially lately since returning and being more on friendly terms with Haymitch. I find that it's a friendly place to go to when I have nothing else to do, and I like spending my money there. Not to mention the bottles of white liquor I've had to buy for Haymitch's sake. I have a cupboard full at home, ever since his dry spell.
"Haymitch, you don't think everyone was still in-" Katniss doesn't finish the sentence.
"Nah, they're smarter than that. You'd be, too, if you'd been around longer. Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothercary can spare." Haymitch says, walking away without another word. Katniss turns to look at me, with puzzlement on her expression.
"What's he want that for?" She asks, but realisation dawns on her. "We can't let him drink it. He'll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I've got some white liquor put away at home."
"Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business. I need to check on my family." Not to mention buy some more plates and other things.
"I have to go see Hazelle," she says, and I remember Hazelle being Gale's mother. I notice the worry in Katniss' eyes, and know that she had probably expected Hazelle to have visited by now.
"I'll go, too. Drop by the bakery on my way home," I offer.
"Thanks." She sighs. I follow Katniss' lead and we head through the almost deserted streets. I can't help but feel like people are watching us from behind shutters and closed doors; the streets shouldn't be so quiet. It's eerie and extremely unnerving. We reach Hazelle's house, where the woman is nursing a very poor child who has broken out in measles. I stand to the side whilst the two of them converse.
"I couldn't leave her. I knew Gale'd be in the best possible hands." Hazelle says, almost apologetically.
"Of course, he's much better. My mother says he'll be back in the mines in a couple of weeks."
"May not be open until then, anyway. Word is they're closed until further notice," Hazelle informs us.
"You're closed down, too?" Katniss asks.
"Not officially. But everyone's afraid to use me now."
"Maybe it's the snow," I say, trying to be optimistic.
"No. Rory made a quick round this morning. Nothing to wash, apparently." Another small child comes up to wrap his arms around the legs of Hazelle. "We'll be all right." She tries to reassure us. Katniss pulls some money out of her pocket anyway, and places it down on the table.
"My mother will send something for Posy." We both step outside into the cold, and Katniss turns to me. "You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob."
"I'll go with you," I offer.
"No. I've dragged you into enough trouble," Katniss says and I quirk an eyebrow.
"And avoiding a stroll by the Hob ... that's going to fix things for me?"I smile at her and take her hand in my own, walking through the streets by her side. In that moment, I don't think of anything but being there for Katniss. We stop by the Hob, watching the flames beating away at the structure of the building, melting away the snow surrounding it and leaking into a black trickle over our shoes. Katniss looks down at it.
"It's all that coal dust, from the old days." She tells me. "I want to check on Greasy Sae."
"Not today, Katniss." I try to reason with her. "I don't think we'd be helping anyone by dropping in on them." Katniss nods and we walk back to the Square, dropping into the bakery, which I knew would be open. My father is stood behind the counter, and looks up at us with a smile.
"Hey, dad. Sorry I haven't been around for a while – things got a little crazy." I apologise quietly as we embrace quickly, Katniss busy picking out some cakes.
"That's all right, son. The snow has gotten a bit crazy, better to have stayed in during the blizzard." We carry on talking about the weather until Katniss has bought her cakes and we turn to leave. Pleasant conversation, nothing about the torture devices set in the middle of the square, or the new Peacekeepers with their menacing guns.
I say goodbye, promising to drop by to see my father soon. Katniss and I head back to the Victor's Village, and we part ways in front of her house. I consider offering to go in with her, but decide to head back to my own house, it feels weird when Gale is still in there recovering. I don't yet want to face him, not sure if he remembers the conversation.
Everything seems to get worse as the days pass by, and I find myself visiting the Square as little as possible. I don't want to see those I've known for all or most of my life being tortured for these supposed crimes, most of which we'd forgotten were actual crimes. It's been so long since there's been any real punishment in the District, and nobody sems to know how to handle it all. Katniss manages to get Haymitch to hire Hazelle as a housekeeper, and walking into the clean house is refreshing. The white liquor Katniss and I had stored is beginning to run out, no matter how much we try to ration what Haymitch drinks. There's no hint of Ripper getting his business back any time soon, which worries me. I don't want to experience a sober Haymitch again.
I'm pulling a fresh batch of cheese buns out of the oven when Haymitch appears in the kitchen.
"I'm not giving you another bottle, Haymitch." I sigh.
"That's not why I'm here," he says as I place the cheese buns down on a cooling tray. "We're going to Katniss' house for the evening, her mother invited us for tea yesterday." His voice is tight, and I don't remember any such invitation. I turn to frown at him, but he doesn't give me time to ask questions. "There are Peacekeepers, and I think they're waiting for Katniss. Not sure where she is, so come on now." I don't move at first, just turning to look at him in confusion. Haymitch sighs. "The fence has been put back on." He says and I don't say anything, just get changed and follow Haymitch over to Katniss' house. Her mother answers the door and lets us in with her usual pleasantry, although there's a tight edge around her lips and some strain in her voice. I'm not surprised, when I see the man and woman standing in the kitchen, in their pristine Peacekeeper uniforms. Haymitch and I act suitably surprised to see them there.
"Oh. Didn't realise we were having extra company tonight." Haymitch says, and they exchange a glance. Mrs Everdeen doesn't seem to need any explanation concerning Haymitch and I suddenly inviting ourselves over.
"We're here on official business." The woman tells us sternly.
"Yeah? What might that be?" He asks. I set down the cheese buns on the counter.
"Oh! Thank you Peeta honey, Katniss will love them." Her mother smiles at me, trying to be as pleasant as she can.
"Speaking of, where is Miss Everdeen?" The male Peacekeeper asks.
"So, what is it you want with my fiancée?" I ask casually. Despite it being fake, I realise I kind of like referring to Katniss as my fiancee.
"We cannot divulge that without Miss Everdeen present."
"Might as well get comfortable, while we wait for Miss Everdeen to finish," Haymitch mocks the Peacekeeper's use of her formal name.
The two Peacekeepers aren't very conversational, and they stand at the side of the room awkwardly whilst the rest of us act out the near happy family evening. I keep my neutral expression, but my mind is racing. The electricity is back in the fence, and Katniss isn't here. She's probably been out hunting, but with Gale? Maybe they'd realised the fence was on and couldn't get back over, maybe she decided to go through with her plan of running away, after all. But would she leave her mother and sister? No, never. That can't be it.
"How about a game of chess, boy?" Haymitch asks, and I nod my head, grateful for something to occupy my mind. We sit at the table and start up the game, but I can't concentrate properly, my fingers drumming against the side of the table, wondering what Katniss has gotten herself into now. Haymitch gives me a pointed stare, and I pause in my drumming, moving the bishop across the board and taking his knight. He nods subtly, and I put more of my attention in the small game.
The door finally opens, and I have to stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief, with the Peacekeepers eyes fixed on us. They're standing in the doorway of the kitchen and the first thing that Katniss notices.
"Hello," I hear her voice, revealing no emotion. Mrs Everdeen turns to her daughter, and keeps the carefully cheerful smile on her face, whilst I pretend to concentrate on the game before Haymitch and I.
"Here she is, just in time for dinner."
"Can I help you with something?" Katniss asks the Peacekeepers, moving into the kitchen. I glance at her quickly, but pretend I have an important move to make on the board.
"Head Peacekeeper Thread sent us with a message for you," the woman says in the official tone I've already gotten bored with.
"They've been waiting for hours," her mother cuts in. And what a wonderfully fun few hours it has been. I move a chess piece across the board, not even sure what piece it was.
"Must be an important message," Katniss says nonchalantly.
"May we ask where you've been, Miss Everdeen?"
"Easier to ask where I haven't been," Katniss says in exasperation, turning to look at Prim, her eyes then moving to Haymitch and I.
"So where haven't you been?" Haymitch asks, with just the right amount of boredom in his tone.
"Well I haven't been talking to the Goat Man about getting Prim's goat pregnant, because someone gave me completely inaccurate information as the where he lives," she sighs, her eyes on Prim.
"No, I didn't." Prim says, playing along perfectly and not even missing a beat. "I told you exactly."
"You said he lives beside the west entrance to the mine."
"The east entrance." Prim tuts and shakes her head.
"You distinctly said the west, because then I said, 'next to the slag heap?' and you said 'yeah'."
"The slag heap next to the east entrance." Prim says, sounding ever the patient younger sister.
"No. When did you say that?"
"Last night," Haymitch cuts in.
"It was definitely the east," I add, turning to Haymitch with a glance. We both start laughing, acting out our roles perfectly. I'm sure we all have a pretty good idea where Katniss has been, and it certainly wasn't looking for a man about a goat. Katniss glares at me, and I stop laughing, trying to look apologetic. "I'm sorry, but it's what I've been saying. You don't listen when people talk to you."
"Bet people told you he didn't live there today and you didn't listen again," Haymitch says and Katniss huffs.
"Shut up, Haymitch." Both Haymitch and I laugh again. I find myself enjoying the back and forth banter, feeling like we really are some kind of family. The other part of me is acutely aware of the two Peacekeepers following the conversation by each person, probably trying to catch someone out lying.
"Fine. Somebody else can arrange to get the stupid goat knocked up," Katniss scoffs, and we laugh again. I wonder if we really will have to get the goat pregnant, in order to keep up with our fabrication. Katniss turns her attention to the Peacekeepers; the man is smiling, convinced by our show, but the woman is sharper.
"What's in the bag?" she demands sharply, and I panic a little. Oh god, please don't have brought the game home, please, please, please...
"See for yourself," Katniss says after turning the bag upside down to dump the contents on the table.
"Oh, good," Mrs Everdeen says, picking up some cloth. "We're running low on bandages." I get up and wander over to the table, glancing at the objects on the table. There's a bag of sweets, which I open up.
"Ooh, peppermints," I say pleasantly, sticking one in my mouth.
"They're mine." Katniss tries to grab the bag, but I'm already throwing it to Haymitch, who manages to catch it and stuff a handful of the sweets in his mouth. The bag is passed on to a giggling Prim.
"None of you deserves sweets!" Katniss huffs again.
"What, because we're right?" I ask, moving in closer and snaking my arms around her frame. I'm still the fiancee, have to play my part. She yelps in pain when my hands touch a part of her back. She tries to cover the noise into indignation for the Peacekeepers, but I know that she's hurt, so loosen my grip a little. "Okay, Prim said west. I distinctly heard west. And we're all idiots. How's that?"
"Better," she says, and we kiss quickly. She then turns to the Peacekeepers again. "You have a message for me?"
"From Head Peacekeeper Thread. He wanted you to know that the fence surrounding District Twelve will now have electricity twenty-four hours a day." The woman says. It's obvious she isn't happy about not catching out Katniss.
"Didn't it already?" Katniss asks innocently.
"He thought you might be interested in passing this information on to your cousin," the woman says.
"Thank you. I'll tell him. I'm sure we'll all sleep a little more soundly now that security has addressed that lapse," Katniss says and I try not to groan. She cannot help herself. The woman looks even less happy. She nods curtly and turns to leave. Katniss stays as she is until the front door is locked, then slumping against the side of the table, allowing the pain to show in her expression.
"What is it?" I ask, whilst keeping a steady hold on her.
"Oh, I banged up my left foot. The heel. And my tailbone's had a bad day, too." I help her across the kitchen to sit down. Her mother is instantly there, slowly pulling off her boots.
"What happened?" She asks.
"I slipped and fell," I look at her in surprise, and I'm sure everyone else does, too. "On some ice." She adds, not divulging anything else. Not trusting to speak freely in her own home. Mrs Everdeen does a check up on her injuries, and Haymitch and I take a seat, knowing we aren't needed. I pop another peppermint in my mouth and keep a watchful eye on Katniss, without staring. It isn't until Katniss' foot is wrapped up and her eyes are beginning to droop that I stand up.
"I'll take her up to bed, if you'd like?" I offer, and Mrs Everdeen nods her head with a smile.
"Yes, Peeta, thank you."
I help Katniss to her feet and we stumble along a little ways, but I just swoop her up into my arms and carry Katniss up the stairs, her head leaning onto my shoulder. I lower her onto her bed carefully and pull the cover over her. Just as I'm about to say goodbye and leave, Katniss catches my hand and pulls me back. She pauses, as if wondering what to say, and I feel that automatically climbing into the bed with her would be the wrong thing to do.
"Don't go yet. Not until I fall asleep," she finally says. I lower to sit down on the side of the bed and cup her hand in both of mine to warm it up.
"Almost thought you'd changed your mind today. When you were late for dinner," I tell her.
"No, I'd have told you," she mumbles sleepily, and I can't help but smile. She pulls my hand up to her face and leans her cheek against the back of it, already falling into unconsciousness. "Stay with me," she mutters again. I smile and brush the hair from her face so I can see her fully, and the peace washing over her expression. I kiss her forehead gently, and whisper into her skin.
"Always."