I hope you all took my warning in the end author's note last chapter seriously...

I Will Wait…

Chapter 11: Reaching for the sun's full rays...

2356 November 19

Stay awake. I had to stay awake. Or did I? I'd promised Rhea that I would sit by her door all night; I didn't promise that I'd stay awake. But then again, if I slept what would keep someone from going into Rhea's room behind me and finding it empty?

"What are you doing, my Lady?" I asked as I entered Rhea's room to find her still in the castle; though I suppose technically she was outside the castle. She was standing on her balcony in the falling snow.

"I'm watching the snow fall, Penelope," the Princess replied solemnly.

"Yes, I see that. What I meant was, what are you still doing here? Is tonight not the night of the Great Snow Dance?"

"It will probably be tonight, yes." She sighed sadly.

"Then shouldn't you be on your way to the Dancing Lawn for the festivities?"

Rhea turned away from the balcony to face me at last. "I cannot go. I wish I could, but I cannot."

"I don't understand. Why can't you go?"

"Because my father is still away, and my duty is to the castle. I cannot leave."

Ah. I know what's bothering her now. I moved further into the room and placed the small try I was carrying on her mirrored vanity.

"Your duty, my Lady," I began once my hands were free, "is to your people, and tonight the Narnians need you on the Dancing Lawn, for what is the Great Snow Dance without the Naiad Princess?"

Rhea shook her head. "I should stay."

"No. You should go."

"What if someone comes looking for me?"

"Then I shall sit by your door all night and tell any who come seeking you that you are greatly distressed over the absence of your father and that you wish to see no one. Go, Rhea. Be the Princess you desire to be, and not the Princess others tell you to be."

"Will you really sit by my door all night?"

"I will, if that is what it takes to make you happy."

"You do not have to make me happy, Penelope."

"On the contrary. I am your Lady's Maid; it is my responsibility to see to it that all your needs are satisfied, and that includes your happiness. Now, do not make me tell you again to go to the dance."

"Thank you, Penelope. You are truly a blessing." Rhea smiled earnestly and warmly before wrapping her arms around me and hugging me. "And a great friend," she added as she pulled back to arms length.

"Yes, yes," I patted Rhea's back lightly. I've never really liked receiving a compliment of any sort. "Now you better hurry, and you should probably go out through the hidden passage." Rhea hugged me again before heading out through the secret passage in her bathroom.

No. I had to stay awake. No one could know that Rhea had gone to the Dancing Lawn. I had to stay awake. But it only seemed that the stronger I fought off sleep, the stronger sleep fought to take me. My eyelids were growing very heavy, and I felt myself nodding off. Thankfully my salvation came in the nick of time. Lord Trumpkin and two guards came noisily down the hall, arousing my falling eyes and causing me to sit up straight.

"Step aside, Penelope. I must see the Princess," Trumpkin said loudly.

"I'm sorry, my Lord, but you cannot," I said loudly back. Trumpkin didn't have his ear horn in. "The Princess is seeing no one tonight."

"I said step aside. I have urgent business with her."

"And I said I cannot let you in. The Princess is greatly distressed—"

"—Let me by—"

"—She is greatly distressed over her father's absence, and she wishes to see none."

"Her father's absence? Look here you petulant little girl…" It was all I could do not to scowl at him. "I have with me an urgent, sealed letter from the King, and I must see the Princess at once."

"A letter from the King?" I held my hand out for the letter, not at all expecting the old Dwarf to hand it over, but for whatever reason he did. I studied the handwriting on the front; it was definitely the King's writing, and the back was sealed with his ring.

"Open the door." I heard Lord Trumpkin's demand too late and I could not stop the guard from opening the door.

"I said you couldn't see her," I said as they walked into the room.

"Listen to me…" Trumpkin began but I cut him off.

"She's not here, my Lord."

"What?"

"The Princess is gone."

"And where might she be gone to?" the Dwarf asked.

I sighed. I had to tell him now. "She went to the Dancing Lawn, for the Great Snow Dance. Perhaps you remember your dancing days, my Lord?" I highly doubted the old Dwarf ever danced.

"Well," one of the guards began hesitantly. "If the Princess is not here, then what do we do about the letter?"

I thought about his statement only for a moment before walking over to the mirrored vanity and picking up a piece which would break the seal easily. Trumpkin of course tried to protest but I was too quick for him to actually do anything to stop me. My eyes quickly scanned over the letter; I decided not to read it aloud since it was a personal letter, so I searched only for the important stuff. I had no qualms about reading it myself because I figured Rhea would probably hand me the letter to read later anyways. It's what she usually did.

"He's coming home," I whispered.

"What? Speak up child," Trumpkin barked.

"His Majesty the King is coming home," I said louder. "They have turned the ship around and are heading for Narnia. The letter says they should arrive about mid-sun on the twentieth of this month.

"The twentieth? That's tomorrow," the guard said. "There's…there's more to the letter isn't there, Lady Penelope? What's wrong? Why is the King coming home?"

He must have seen it in my face. I could not hide it.

"Lady Penelope?"

"He…the King was visited by Aslan. He…He told him to turn around, and that his…his son would be waiting for him when he returned."

"His son? Prince Rilian has returned to Narnia?"

"Prince Rilian? Impossible!" Trumpkin exclaimed. "Rilian is dead."

"Not according to Aslan, my good Lord," the guard defended. "Many of us knights never gave up hope, though we knew we probably should. We always knew the Prince would find a way to break the Witch's spell. And now it seems he has at last, and is returning."

Trumpkin once more tried to pass off Rilian's return as impossible, but no sooner had he opened his mouth to speak and there came a joyous shouting from the hall.

"He's back! He's back! Prince Rilian has returned! Prince Rilian is in Narnia!"

A flock of birds flew by the door shouting the news before Glimfeather flew into the room.

"Glimfeather! Is it true? Has Prince Rilian really returned?" the guard asked, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Tu-whoo. Tu-whoo. It is true, good Sir. Prince Rilian has returned."

"Where is he? Is he in the castle?"

"No. He's at the Dancing Lawn with his sister, where he arrived with Puddleglum and the children. Tu-whoo."

Suddenly it felt as though my legs could no longer hold me, and they gave way beneath me. Thankfully, one of the guards noticed and he managed to catch me before an ungraceful fall. He supported me and though I tried to push him off, he would not let go.

"Lady Penelope?" he asked.

"I'm fine. It's alright. I—I just need to retire. It's been a long night."

"I will escort you to your rooms."

"That won't be necessary."

"Prince Rilian would never forgive me if I allowed you to go alone in this state. I will escort you," the guard insisted and I was too befuddled to fight him off.

2356 November 20

I don't recall what I felt that night. Wait. Yes I do. Nothing. I felt nothing. I thought nothing. A thousand different emotions and an infinite amount of thoughts continuously bombarded my mind, leaving me completely and absolutely numb to everything. I couldn't feel. I couldn't think. Even when Rilian stood before me the following morning and I saw him with my own eyes, I could feel nothing; I simply curtsied politely and dutifully, and then went about my business as usual, preparing myself and Rhea for the King's return.

I didn't truly feel anything until the King lay dying on the quay, and I knelt by his litter.

"I want you to know, Your Majesty—" my voice wavered slightly, betraying me and showing my lack of strength "—that I have come to think of you as another father."

"And I have come to see you as another daughter," the dying King replied.

A solitary tear fell from my eye at that moment, but I did not wipe it away. "Go in peace and with much love, my Lord." Then I bent over and kissed his wrinkled forehead tenderly.

I was reliving the memory of the King's departure from this world, when he found me.

"I thought I might find you here," Rilian's voice shattered the silent air around me. I slowly turned my eyes from the ocean before me and looked to him, before looking away once more. Of course he would find me here. It was our spot after all.

"I needed some space, and some air to sort through…everything," I said.

"And the castle had no air?"

"No." My reply was short and harsh. I sighed. "Not for me," I replied in a softer tone.

From the corner of my eye I saw Rilian move in a little closer. "Rhea tells me that you and my father had become close, as was evident by your final words with him."

I struggled to hold back my tears. "The King was a good man. A strong man. Much stronger than I."

"Penelope, you are the strongest person I know. How could any, even my father, be stronger than you?"

"He never gave up hope. He never stopped loving."

"And you did?"

I did not respond. How could I respond? How could I tell the man I once loved, that I had waited for his return for nine years, ten years even, but the eleventh year was too much?

Rilian moved in a little closer. "If my father did not give up, then explain to me why he went looking for a new heir to take my place."

"Not your place, Rilian. Rhea's." He looked a bit confused so I continued. "A year after you left, Rhea was named Crown Princess and heir to the throne. Many potential suitors came to Cair Paravel in hopes that she would choose one of them to be her King."

"My father would have made her marry? But she would have to give up her magic to do so. How could a father force his daughter into a marriage simply to procure an heir? It is despicable!"

"He couldn't!" I quickly defended the late King. "Last month, before your father sailed, Rhea agreed to marry Lord Barren, but your father would not let her. He sent the lord away, and set sail himself the next day."

"If he was so set on her marrying, then why didn't he accept her betrothal?"

"Because he knew she did not love the Lord Barren, and he could not allow his daughter to marry if it were not for love."

"How did he know she didn't love him?"

"Because I told him so. I told him…I merely pointed out what he already knew… that Rhea was incapable of loving like we could. She was the Naiad Princess. She was always meant for the river, not for the throne. So your father set sail to find Aslan, and to seek His council on whom to name as heir in Rhea's place, so that she may return to the river."

"That explains this then." He held up a piece of parchment. "It contains the official seal of the King and his signature. My father named you as heir in Rhea's stead. Had I not returned and voided this letter, you would have been crowned Queen upon his death."

I shook my head. That was just like the King to do something like that without my knowledge. Of course he would not have asked me, because he knew I would have declined it.

"I am no queen."

"My father and his lords thought otherwise, once more as evident by his final words to you."

I found myself incapable of a response again. It was an honor that the King thought so highly of me, but it was not an honor I would have asked for.

"Rhea also told me of your father, and what happened to him."

I looked to Rilian and saw the guilt on his face. "Don't be so arrogant, Rilian. My father's death was not your fault."

"Arrogant?"

"Don't try to deny it; I know you, Rilian."

He was silent for a moment before consenting with a nod. "Well, it still seems. "

He was right. Even after eleven years I still knew him better than anyone else. What did that mean?

"Though, I don't know that I'd call it arrogance so much; it is more like guilt," he said.

"Daddy's death was not your doing. If anything...it was mine."

"Penelope you cannot…"

"He went after you, because of me," I cut Rilian off. "He went because…because I was weak, and I missed you. He went because he wanted to see me happy again. He went for me, and I did nothing to stop him."

"That makes it no more your fault than it does mine. If I had been stronger and fought off the Witch's spell, I never would have left and your father never would have come after me."

"We could stand here all day arguing over who's to blame for my father's death, but that will not change the fact that he is, in fact, dead." I really didn't want to discuss my father's death; I still hadn't forgiven myself for showing such weakness after Rilian disappeared.

"No. It will not." Rilian moved in even closer.

"What else did Rhea tell you about me?"

"Nothing more actually. My sister has remained rather mute on the subject."

"Well there's a first." Rilian looked at me curiously. "For as much as your sister is a Naiad, she is just as much like any other girl and she likes to talk."

"I do recall that." Rilian chuckled lightly. "She would speak no more though. She told me that if I wanted to know about you, then I should ask you myself."

"Your sister never was a fool."

"I recall that as well."

"So, what would you like to know?" I asked after a moment.

"There is much I wish to know. But mostly I just want to know…his name."

It was my turn to be confused.

"Who is he?"

"Who is who?"

"The man you married. What is his name? Is he from Narnia? Or one of our sisters? Does he treat you well? Of course he treats you well; you would not stand for him otherwise."

"Rilian," I held my left hand out to him, stopping him before he could say anymore. He mistook my meaning and grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet, for I had been sitting on a large rock.

At the touch of his hand I was flooded with an overwhelming sensation. Rilian's touch stirred something which had been lying dormant within me. I suddenly remembered every moment we had together in the two years that we had been courting. I remembered every look. I remembered every touch. I remembered every kiss. My senses were flooded with the love we once shared, and my body ached to feel that love again. I looked into his eyes, and I knew that he felt the same; he had the same rush of emotion overcome him.

But I was not ready for such a thing, and I pulled my hand gently from his.

"I only meant for you to look at my hand," I said as I held it up for him to see. His eyes dropped to my hand to study it carefully.

"There is no ring. You are not married?"

I shook my head no.

"Betrothed then? Soon to be married?"

"There is none," I said.

The corners of Rilian's mouth began to lift in a smile but he stopped himself. "What does this mean? About us? What does it mean?"

I shook my head slightly. "I don't know. I have dreamed of this day a thousand nights. I have thought of all I wanted to say to you, of all I would feel at your return. But now that I stand before you, I find I have nothing. I know not what to feel, nor what to think. I know not what this means."

"Well you should know, Penelope, that I have thought of you these last eleven years."

"I thought you were enchanted and knew nothing of your life here."

"I was. For all hours of the day I knew nothing of my true self; I knew not who I was, nor where I was from. I knew only what the Witch told me. All hours of the day I was enchanted, save for one. In the last hour of each, I would remember. And when I remembered I thought of Narnia. I thought of Mother, and Father, and Rhea. But mostly I thought of you. I thought of you Penelope, in my sane hours, and it is what kept me going all these years. You are the reason I struggled so hard for my freedom. I never stopped loving you, Penelope, and I won't stop now. And that is something you need to know."

"Rilian, I…" I really didn't know how to put into words my exact thoughts; to be honest, I wasn't sure of what my exact thoughts were at the moment. So I turned from him and took a few steps away, trying to get a little bit of distance. It didn't work. I felt him coming after me

"Penelope, I just wanted to…"

"No! Rilian, you can't!" I turned around suddenly and he stopped in his tracks. "You cannot just waltz back into my life after eleven years and just expect everything to be alright! You cannot expect me to still feel everything I did before! You cannot expect me to drop all I have to be with you again, to pick up where we left off. Because think about it Rilian, where did we leave off? You chose something else, someone else. You chose her!"

"I didn't choose her. Penelope, I was…"

"You were enchanted, yes, I know. And I believe that Rilian, I do. I saw the look you had and I remember it well; it has haunted my sleeping hours. But at some point, when you first met her, you had to have chosen her. She could not have enchanted you otherwise. Even if it is only once, you did choose."

Rilian had nothing to say, and I had to pause and turn away to wipe the tears from my eyes. I didn't know I held so much resentment towards Rilian until that very moment when it all came out.

"I'm sorry, Rilian," I said with a soft sigh. "I didn't know what I was going to say, but it was not that. I didn't even know…I didn't even know I felt that way."

I wiped the rest of the tears away and turned back around to look at Rilian. "I am glad you are back, Rilian, for the sake of Narnia and for Rhea's sake, I am glad. And for your Father's, I am glad he at least got to see you before he died; I have not seen such happiness in his eyes in a long while. But as for me, I…" I sighed. "I did not think I would ever say this either. I need time, Rilian. I need a moment to figure this out, and today is not the day to be sorting through this turmoil of emotions."

Rilian nodded his head slowly. It was hard for him to do. I could easily see just how hard it was for him, but he nodded anyways.

"I understand, Penelope. This does not change how I feel for you though; I will never stop loving you. But, just as you waited for my return, I will show you the same courtesy and I will wait for you."

Oh! I do hope you aren't too angry with me. I did warn you! You can't say I didn't warn you!

Have no fear though! However bittersweet, we are approaching the end of this story. In fact, I finished the epilogue on Wednesday. So that means we have three more chapters and an epilogue to go, so four weeks left.

Then...I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do!

...WOW...

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, however angry it made you.