The morning after had been awful. I thought Shikamaru would be mad at me, maybe even yell a bit, but he did nothing. Every time I tried looking at him, he averted his eyes. He wasn't angry at me, he was disappointed and hurt. I felt like a complete ass. This was what I wanted to avoid by going to a bar without him, but I never guessed I would smell like sex. The dumbest mistake I had ever made.

I now expected him to kick me out, but he was actually packing his stuff. I wanted to ask him why, but was to afraid to. I didn't even know how to talk to him anymore. I have never felt this guilty in my entire life.

He hadn't packed all of his stuff, but apparently enough. He walked towards the door and turned around at the last moment. I had been following from room to room and stood now at the end of the hallway, watching him leave.

He chose now to look me in the eyes for the first time today. I couldn't keep looking. I've never seen him sad and realizing I had actually caused it, made it even worse. I focused my eyes on a place right beside his head. I know he noticed, but didn't comment on it.

'I'll be staying with my parents for a few days, maybe take on a mission. I'll see you later, Neji.' With that he opened the door and left. Just before he was out of sight he called something back. 'Try not to sleep with anyone else in my bed.'

The door closed with a soft thud. His words cut like knives. He even expected that I would sleep with others in this house. I would never do that. Couldn't even think about it. I need to do something about this. I need to make it up to him. But how?

…

It has been days since I last saw Shikamaru. He had taken on a mission immediately and had been gone ever since. I hate to admit it, but I missed him. I could only relax when he was around.

I was walking through town with nothing to do. Tsunade didn't have a mission for me. I had even pleaded for a mission so I could get my mind off things. Still nothing. Training with Lee helped a bit, but Gai joined us and it got a bit too weird then. Tenten was actually on the mission with Shikamaru, so no help there.

Nothing was helping and I really didn't know what to do. I needed to talk to someone about this, but who could help me? I never told anyone I was sleeping with Shikamaru and I'm pretty sure he never told anyone. I had to confide in someone and it had to be someone who wouldn't spill the beans.

A certain black haired ninja walked by. We never really were friends, but there were still rumors going around of him dating Naruto. Not to strange after Naruto had been chasing him for years. It would have been weird if they didn't end up together. But they might be really dating, Shikamaru and I were just having sex.

I should just ask him. I'm sure he wouldn't tell anyone else, he couldn't care less.

'Sasuke,' I called out. 'Can I talk to you for a sec.'

He turned, bored look on his face. He just shrugged and followed me to my apartment. I didn't want anyone else around when I was telling him this. Not too many people needed to know.

'So, were are we going?' he asked from behind me.

I waved towards the apartment and he nodded, glancing to the side again, hands in his pockets. He really had a relaxing posture, but also somewhat annoying. He was a bit too arrogant for my taste.

I opened the door and took of my shoes. He did the same and entered the living room before me. He sat down in the loveseat and glanced around the room, probably judging everything that was in there. Not that there was much to judge. Shikamaru didn't like it when his apartment was full of unnecessary stuff. He said it would get in his way or that he had to clean it up. He hated dusting off the most.

'So what did you want to talk about?' he asked after examining the whole room. I sat down on the couch, remembering the way Shikamaru always laid on it. I smiled at the thought. Everything was so peaceful back then.

'You're not hitting on me, are you?'

I looked shocked at the black haired ninja. Hitting on him? When did I ever show any interest in him?

'No, I am not hitting on you. I wanted to ask you something. You are dating Naruto, right?'

He narrowed his eyes. 'What's it to you?' he asked challenging.

'I just want to know for sure, before I tell you something.'

He leaned back, his chin a bit raised. He didn't really trust me, but answered anyway. 'I am seeing Naruto, yes. Just don't tell anyone. We've just started dating and we want to see how it works out without other meddling in.'

'I understand. Thank you for telling me.' He nodded and then waved at me, so I would proceed with the rest of my talk. 'Alright, I also need to ask you not to tell anyone. I'm not sure what is going on anyway.'

'Okay, talk,' he urged me on.

'Remember when we had a boys night out and I left with Shikamaru.' I glanced at him carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

'Yeah, you fucked him,' he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

I stared at him, mouth agape. How did he know? 'Okay, so you knew that already.' He rolled his eyes as if it was obvious. Let's just forget about that and proceed with the real problem.

'Well, after that I have slept with him a lot more and now we have a bit of a problem. He, um, he said he loved me and then I slept with someone else.'

He raised an eyebrow and said nothing for quite some time. 'And you are telling me this why?'

I should have expected that question. I'm not even sure why I told him. 'I just needed to tell someone. I haven't seen him in days and I feel awful.' I rested my head in my arms and didn't dare looking him in his judgmental eyes.

'Why do you feel awful? You don't love him back, right? I think you've made that very clear, so no problem there. The only thing I recommend is moving out of his apartment. You can live your life like you've done before this. Fuck whoever you want and move on to the next.' He didn't mean to sound harsh, but he did. Was I really that type of guy?

'I'm a slut!' I yelled in exasperation.

'Well, it was about time you figured that out.' He stood up and stretched his arms above his head. 'Just remember you're throwing something really good away.' He walked out of the living room, hands back into his pocket, bored expression on his face.

I went after him to show him the door as a polite person would do, but was still to shocked to respond to anything he had said.

'You know you love him, Neji. That's why you're feeling like this. Just tell him you're sorry and do something to make it up to him.' He laid his hand on my shoulder and smiled kindly up to me. It was almost not noticeable, so small was it.

And that was the time Shikamaru chose to come back to the apartment and talk to me. He saw us standing there in a romantic setting, to him that is.

'What the hell is going on here. I thought I told you not to fuck anyone in my house!' he yelled. His eyes were in complete fury, directed at me.

'I let you both to this, alone.' Sasuke passed Shikamaru and never glanced back. He didn't care if this would work out. It was our problem and we had to fix this. Unfortunately he had just made it worse.

Tears streamed in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall down. He tried blinking them away, but it was too much. One single tear made its way down, before he angrily wiped it away. 'I can't believe you're doing this to me. Y-you could have just told me the truth.' The hurt was back and now accompanied by desperation.

'I'm sorry, Shika, for everything I've done to you. But I didn't sleep with Sasuke, I promise.' I grabbed his hands before he could walk away and pleaded him to believe me. I really didn't want to hurt him, he meant so much to me.

'Just, just tell me why.'

My eyes shot from his left to his right eye, searching for the answer he needed. 'I don't know, I don't know how to do this.'

He pulled his hands out of mine and took a step back. 'Then just forget about it.'

He was going leave and I couldn't stop him. Was he really walking out of my life? I couldn't just let him go. I needed him and his relaxing posture. I needed everything about him, his company, his listening to everything I say and the most I needed his love. I really did, didn't I?

'Wait!' I called to Shikamaru. He turned around in the doorpost and watched me through saddened eyes. I have to say it now or I would lose him forever.

'I love you.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Aw, such a sweet ending. Maybe a little too sweet...