Shikamaru just stood there, watching me. It took him so long to answer. I was sweating heavily and I was sure my face burned red with anticipation.

He blinked ones. 'You love me?' he said exasperated. 'Now you love me?'

'I, I, I do,' I stuttered. I just realized it, but I couldn't back out now. He could not leave me. He had to stay here with me forever.

He laughed. 'Yeah, right. You expect me to just believe that.' His eyebrows furrowed above his eyes, giving him a rather angry look. 'You expect me to just stay now even after you fucked someone else! You have guts, Neji, I'd give you that.' He shook his head ones and left. I heard him slam his fist in the outside wall and after that his chakra disappeared.

I screwed up. This was horrible. I can't even… I don't know what to do anymore. How was I ever going to make this up to him?

…

A few days had passed and I was currently on a mission. After all the feelings that jumped out I had to get out of there. I started this mission the day after our fight. I had no idea how he was doing now. It distracted me a couple of times and Tenten had to save my ass. She was getting really irritated and worried at that. She was bound to ask questions.

We were setting up camp. Lee started a fire, Gai was somewhere of getting food or something. I didn't even want to know how he did it or what he was getting. And Tenten and I were setting up the tents.

Tenten had always insisted on her own tent, so we always had to build three. Today she surprised me. She wanted to share a tent with me and I bothered me. She wanted something from me and I knew it had to do with my current mood. I wished she would just leave me alone.

After the work was done, Gai asked us to gather around the fire. Great, another one of his famous speeches. I'll just tune out and wait for him to stop talking.

'Alright, team Gai. Today was our last day on the road. We've gathered enough information and as a team we did a great job. Except for Neji who should focus more. Work on that, Neji.' He pointed towards me and gave me his famous blinking smile, I just rolled my eyes. 'Tomorrow we will return to the village and go our separate ways again. Return to our other loved ones and spend time with them, but I want all of you to know that I'll miss you with all my heart!' He became teary eyed and Lee flung himself around Gai.

'Oh, Gai sensei!'

'Lee!'

You know the drill. Just the words that I would be spending time with other loved ones stung. There would be no one waiting for me. No one really missed me. I wished I could just stay here and not return.

Tenten and I started eating something indefinable Gai had caught and left them to their weird hug. We ate in silence, but I noticed her glancing my way ones in a while. She was definitely up to something.

'Well, I'm going to bed,' Tenten said after a while. She stretched and walked towards to tent. 'You're coming to, Neji?' It was not really a question, but she didn't want to make the two idiots suspicious. Like they weren't already. Well, maybe not Lee, but definitely Gai. We never slept in the same tent. He must think we're dating or something. I wish, would be a lot easier to deal with.

I slowly rose and walked after her. She was already in her sleeping bag when I joined her. It seemed she really just wanted to sleep. Quietly I got in my own sleeping bag and closed my eyes. This would be my last peaceful night before returning to the village again. I was sure I wouldn't be able to sleep then.

'Neji,' Tenten whispered. So we were going to talk about this. 'Remember that I had that mission with Shikamaru a couple of days ago?'

Why did she want to talk about that? She didn't know of my current situation with Shikamaru, or did she?

She didn't wait for my answer and just continued talking. 'He was a bit distracted like you on that mission and I asked him about it.' I heard her ruffling in her sleeping bag and felt her eyes on me now. I didn't want to meet her eyes, because she knew what was going on then. She knew me so well. Instead I kept looking at the tent ceiling.

'He said it was because his love life was falling hard and he didn't know what to do about it.' I blinked ones and I knew that was the only sign she needed. A soft hand laid on my shoulder and she squeezed softly.

'I asked him who was screwing him up and he said that it was you. Of course I was shocked at first, but when I started thinking about it he would be the right guy for you. He's smart and calm and likes silence. He's kind of perfect for Neji, I thought.'

I turned my head and saw her smiling face, before it faltered again. We were getting to the point now.

'Shikamaru was feeling really down after you slept with someone else. It felt to him like you cheated and he knew that was stupid. You never said you were going steady and it made him feel like a dramaqueen.'

I averted my eyes and looked at the seam of her sleeping bag. 'He's not a dramaqueen. I shouldn't have done that, but I was desperate.'

She laid her soft hand on my cheek and wiped the single tear away. I hadn't even noticed it fell.

'I know you are sorry. So I told him he should talk to you about it, because you both didn't in the first place. I now wonder what happened. I doesn't seem you made up or something.'

She wanted an explanation and maybe I should talk to her about this. Sasuke had made me see the truth, maybe she could help me out now.

'When he returned from the mission he saw me and Sasuke hugging and formed his own opinion about this. Nothing happened between Sasuke and me, but he didn't believe me.'

'I'm sorry, Neji.'

'I even told him I loved him.' Now I felt the tears run freely.

Tenten pulled me in a hug and let me cry on her shoulder. Somewhere along the night I fell asleep and woke up alone in the tent the morning after. She gave me some room to clear my mind and not be all red and puffy in front of the other two men out there. I silently thanked her for that. I was supposed to be the emotionless one.

…

After a few hours on the road we had arrived at the entrance gate to Konoha. Of course we had to pick the entrance guarded by Kotetsu and Izumo. I avoided Izumo's eyes, but heard him snicker at the sight of me. I could only hope nobody noticed, especially Tenten. She would surely judge me now.

We kept on walking, but I saw her glancing at the two guards. She didn't say anything and I hoped it stayed that way.

We had reported back at the Hokage's office and were now on our way home. We separated ways and of course Gai and Lee had to cry about that again. I rolled my eyes again and left them for what they were. Tenten also waved goodbye and that was when the feelings started kicking in again. I was alone and it would stay that way until I had another mission.

I turned the key and opened the door to an ever empty apartment. Maybe I should move out. It wasn't even my apartment in the first place. I took my shoes of and wondered what I had to eat tonight. I didn't feel like cooking, but I was hungry. Maybe I should get some takeout.

I walked through the small hallway and got into the living room. I had picked up the mail that was stacked in front of the door and was flipping through them. Nothing interesting standing out. A few bills and a card for Shikamaru. That stung a bit, but I just flung it on the coffee table. I would give it to him later or have someone else hand it to him.

'So you're just going to ignore me,' a very familiar voice called out. My eyes shot to the couch and a sleepy looking Shikamaru was sprawled on it. I had to remind myself to breath, because this had shocked me badly. What was he doing here?

'What's the matter? Cat caught your tongue?' He smiled a bit and it overwhelmed me. I sank through my knees in front of him and just stared at him.

'Why are you here?' I whispered.

He sat straight up and cradled my head in his hands. 'I talked to Sasuke and he said really nothing had happened. I should have believed you in the first place, but his words helped.' He averted his eyes for a second, his dark brown eyes softening. 'So you love me, huh?'

I could only nod and his smile grew a bit.

'You still have a lot to make up for, but if it's okay with you I'd like to move back in again.'

'Yes, please move back in. I've been so lonely,' I desperately said when I had found my voice again.

He kissed me softly and I eagerly pressed back. I had missed this so much. I never really liked kissing, it was just to intimate. But Shikamaru I kissed gladly.

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

I think I will end this with the next chapter. They're now sort of happy and let's not bring even more drama into their lives. I'll put another smutscene in it!