Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

Author's Note 1: Warning! This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

S—D

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

Chapter Ten: What Goes Around Once…

So has the dream finished or has it just started?

Then:

Panting heavily from their exertions Bobby and Dean stood side-by-side as they surveyed the area. Caleb and Sam were lying next to each other on stretchers and covered with blankets; the dead had already been salted and burnt, along with the cross and the shackles and everything else they could find that was tainted, including the robe they had dressed Sam in. Bobby had purified the rock altar and washed it clean of Sam's blood and finally they scattered rock salt over the entire clearing just for good measure.

'The demon!' Dean said, 'did you get the demon Bobby?'

'No, once I came too it was just about all done only had a few left and it wasn't there.'

'Fuck that means it got away!' Dean growled his rage starting to reignite.

'Worry bout that later Dean, we've gotta git these two back and treated,' Bobby said as he looked down at Sam and Caleb, 'Dean I am so sorry … what I did and tried to do…'

'Hey Bobby no, hell no don't you dare try to take blame for any of this … you were a victim just like the rest of us.'

'But I was the one who … hell I wanted to kill Sam…'

'And how many times have you been on the receiving end for us?' Dean asked as he looked up at his surrogate uncle/father/friend, 'nothing to apologise for.'

Now:

'So we have one major problem now.' Bobby said deciding to finish the embarrassing portion of their conversation. 'How are we gonna git both of them to the car? They're both on stretchers.'

'Can you stay with them?' Dean asked glancing over at Bobby and noticing the lines of fatigue and pain etched around the older man's eyes. 'I'll go and get the impala but only if you're up to…?'

'Git going now afore I swat your ass,' Bobby grumbled good-naturedly as he squatted down between the stretchers to keep an eye over the two ailing members of his family. After everything that he had done, being possessed be damned, this was the least he could do.

Dean watched for a second longer before taking off as fast as he could towards the impala, ever watchful for the missing demon he carried his salt-loaded shotgun in hand and had his Glock tucked safely in his jeans waistband.

S—D

'Bob-Bobby?' Caleb whispered and then ran the tip of his tongue over his dried and cracked lips, 'that really you man?'

'Yeah it's me idjit.' Bobby said, 'Dean's gone for the car … you can have a drink as soon as he gets back.'

'What happened to ya dude?' Caleb asked desperate to stay conscious he focused on his friend's face and listened intently on that gruff and gravelly voice he knew so well.

'That thing, that moth as far as I can tell, git's to ya innards with a stinging bite to begin with and … well through that bite it lays eggs,' Bobby choked over his words as he slowly put the jigsaw pieces of his memory back together, 'I could feel em when they hatched wiggling around in here and aint nothing I could do about it. Bit by bit they controlled everything jist like a possession 'cepting that they are alive and living in ya head.' He could still feel the critters digging in and the excruciating pain associated with them. 'A lot of what happened after that is blurry and jumbled, I can remember a lot of what I did but had no control, and that rage was unbelievable … When they popped out I thought I was gonna puke … they – they use the human host like a cocoon.' Bobby stopped and cleared his throat; a nice single malt whiskey would go down right about now the only thought he could muster without wanting to throw up.

'Damn me Singer you really know how to do it properly don'tcha.' Caleb said and grunted out a pained sounding chuckle. 'Whatcha gonna do for an encore?'

'Funny … not Reeves,' Bobby groused as he straightened slightly and stared around them, it was too quiet and Dean was taking too long in getting back to them, 'how are ya feeling Caleb can ya git up?'

'Yeah think so … why?'

'Probably nuthin' but … I need some help with Sam.' Bobby said as he helped Caleb up and held him steady until he got his balance back.

Moving stiffly and slowly the two hunters managed to prop Sam between them opting to leave the cumbersome stretcher behind. The much bigger and heavier youngest member of the trio was like a dead weight for the two hunters; Sam was still suffering from the effects of the paralysing drugs and attacks from the Gorathic moth making it difficult for them to travel any distance safely. Bobby guided them into a more secluded spot just north of the clearing where there was thick brush and tree canopies to give them cover.

Settling Sam against a tree with a semi-conscious Caleb next to him, Bobby glanced down at them for a moment before moving to an outlook to keep an eye out for Dean and the impala as well as any signs of danger.

'Where are ya Dean?' he mumbled to himself as he glanced over at the two injured and ailing hunters and then back to his self-imposed sentinel duty.

S—D

'Ah baby it's good to see you.' Dean breathed out when he had finally reached the impala. The only home, confidant and trusted "female" in his life; Sam was his brother and best friend but the impala was something else, something different and his.

He stopped just short of his car and scanned the area carefully, the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood up as his 'monster-radar' kicked up a notch. Thumbing the safety off his Glock he turned slowly his eyes trained on the trees around him. The air was still and stifling, not even a breath of breeze ruffled the tallest of the leafy branches. With measured steps Dean moved closer to the impala when the stench of sulphur assaulted his senses without missing a step or a breath he turned, drew his Glock aimed and fired in one smooth action. The demon hissed with the impact and then laughed as he strode towards the irritating hunter.

Dean shrugged smiled and whipped the shotgun up with the salt rounds and fired hitting the demonically possessed man in the chest, pumping the gun again he took aim and shot again hitting him this time in the stomach. Standing over the downed demon, Dean recited an exorcism and watched with detached interest as the smoke burst out of the dead man's mouth and shot into the sky.

Staggering slightly Dean started towards the impala, when a wave of dizziness passed through him making him slouch against the hood of the car, a warm wet sensation had him glancing down at his left side; a dark red stain steadily spread across his shirt and a sharp pain finally registered in his overtaxed and exhausted mind. 'What the fuck?' With a shaking hand he lifted his T-shirt up and found a small but seemingly deep stab wound, 'what the hell?'

'Hell it is Dean.' A malicious sounding voice came from behind him, turning in what felt like a bad slow motion movement from an equally bad "B" grade movie Dean stared into a pair of yellow eyes before the elusive demon clicked his fingers and vanished as quickly as he arrived, leaving Dean alone and bleeding next to his beloved car.

'Damn you, you bastard come back here and fight.' Dean hissed as he struggled to get to the driver's side door, he had to get back to Sam.

S—D

The sound of a powerful engine, the blaring of a horn and then the cracking of a tree after an impact brought Bobby out of his stupor and running back to the clearing. He cursed his stiff knees and stilted gait with every step until he reached the driver's side of the now still car; wrenching the door open he bent down and reached in to check the driver who was slumped over the steering wheel.

'Dean boy you had better be foxin' me.' He growled as he checked for a pulse, 'what the hell happened?'

'Hell did,' came a very muffled and faint reply, 'Sammy where's Sammy?'

'Ya great idjit, here ya are injured and hugging yer steering wheel and all ya want to know is where's Sammy,' Bobby shook his head, 'he's with Caleb just behind the brush over there.'

'Can … can ya get them so we can get outta here,' Dean asked as he tried to focus on the three Bobby Singers in front of him, 'fuck which one are ya?'

'The real one idjit,' Bobby said as he gradually eased himself into a standing position, 'now don't go anywhere alright,'

'Bobby it was … it was the yellow eyed demon.' Dean said as his eyes started to droop, 'where's Sammy?'

'This is another fine mess yer've got us in … idjit.' Bobby muttered and went to find Sam and Caleb, he would be a lot happier when they were away from the cursed area.

S—D

Caleb sat up and stared around in fright something brought him out of his light sleep and confused him even more and then he heard it again. A soft mewling sound came from beside him; rubbing at his tacky eyes Caleb turned a little more to get a good look at Sam who was lying next to him and propped up against the same tree.

'Sam? Dude what is it?'

'Make it stop, please Caleb make it stop,' Sam wept, rolling his head awkwardly he tried to focus on the faceless shape in front of him, 'Caleb?'

'Yeah it's me Dude,' Caleb said and took hold of Sam's flailing hand, giving him an anchor to keep hold of, 'Bobby and Dean will be right here so you just hang in there okay.'

'Kay … Cal you okay?' Sam asked as flashes of his vision flared in his memory.

'I'm … okay Sam,' Caleb said as he bit back a pain filled groan, 'hang on I think I can hear someone coming.'

S—D

Exhausted after helping both Sam and Caleb separately to the car all Bobby wanted to do was to drown his sorrow, guilt and pain in a bottle of his best firewater. He finally edged Sam into the back of the impala helping him fold his long legs into the small space behind the bench seat. Next to him he managed to get Caleb in mindful of his injuries from being tied to the cross and then finally Bobby was able to slide in behind the wheel after shuffling Dean across the bench seat to the passenger's side. 'Alright kids I don't want to hear a word until we get home.' He said to his unconscious companions.

S—D

A wild storm whipped around the house in Singer's Salvage Yard, rain hard unyielding and relentless beat against the windows and the roof. Wind howled and kicked up dust and rubble before the rain doused it back into submission. Across the inky black sky silver bolts of fork lightening struck repeatedly against the earth as the thunder roared in a crazed electrical dance across the heavens.

In the house four hunters were all recuperating from their most recent injuries and were all in various states of mind as well as states of healing. Most of Bobby's stash of firewater whiskey had been depleted along with various medications and first aid supplies. The frailest of the four was ensconced in the living room on a bed Bobby and Caleb dragged in for him, watched over by an older brother who slept in an overstuffed lounge chair next to him.

Dean's stab wound took ten stitches and a full tube of antiseptic cream, the stab wound he had no memory of receiving it and when. Caleb's most visible injuries had healed slowly but still healed although there was a quietness about him now, that was unnerving and worrying at the same time. He refused to talk about his ordeal, aside from a little of his time in the cage and the fragments he could remember of his torture sessions but the crucifixion was off limits to everyone, including Sam.

The storm upset Sam more than he would admit to anyone especially Dean. With his still diminished eyesight the lightning bolts filled his sight with painful blasts of light, the wind and thunder aggravated his headaches, but above all they brought back childhood terrors.

Squinting he looked around the living room and realised that he was finally on his own, moving stiffly and carefully he trailed his hand along the wall as he made his way downstairs to the basement. In the cool and the dark the oppressiveness of the storm lifted and Sam felt a little better finally. Taking one step at a time Sam limped down the stairs and felt his way to a corner that had given him solace so many times when he was a small child hiding from the arguments and roughness of the men who came to Bobby's place on a regular basis. He had no idea who they were but they were loud, rough and loved to argue over who was the toughest or who had bagged the biggest … biggest what he didn't understand but it sounded scary.

Then Dean started to want to hang around them and to listen to their stories rather than play with Sam all of the time, so the small boy found the biggest book he could carry and take it down to that special corner of the basement to read.

This time though he couldn't read he couldn't curl up and hide all he could do was to sit and lose himself in his morose thoughts and his burgeoning depression. Sliding down the wall until he was sitting plumb against it, Sam pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his long arms around them cradling his head on them.

'How can I do this?' he said his own voice sounding hollow in the stillness of the room, 'how can I be a blind hunter?' Sighing heavily Sam lifted his head and rested it against the cool wall, 'and a cripple as well.'

'Use your powers Sam, give into them and you will never have to worry.' The voice slipped into his thoughts like an oil slick leaving a black stain of fear, guilt and pain in its wake.

'Leave me alone,' Sam squeezed his eyes shut and banged his head against the wall, 'get outta my head.'

'I will as soon as you embrace your future.'

'No, never that is something I will never do, I am not a freak.' Sam cried out as he once again bashed his head against the wall, the spiking pain giving him some relief from the constant nagging only he could hear. Tears slid down his cheeks as his depression and headache blossomed at the same time. 'M'not a freak, not a freak.' He started to repeat in time with the banging of his head. He ignored the warm wetness trickling down his neck as the pain and blackness finally silenced the voice, or rather drowned it out.

'Sam? Sammy what the hell?' Dean exclaimed when he found his errant brother.

He had come back to the living room armed with videos, hot chocolate and popcorn to find it empty, devoid of one Sam Winchester. After checking the bathroom, quizzing Bobby and Caleb in the study and the kitchen Dean remembered a certain hiding spot a very young Sam had in the basement.

His relief at finding Sam swiftly morphed into anger and worry when he found him, 'what the hell do you think you're doing?' Dean's voice echoed in the quietness of the basement and seemed to berate the both of them with the tone of his voice as he crouched down next to Sam and grabbed him by the shoulders.

'Huh? De-Dean?' Sam blinked away his tears as he tried desperately to see his brother's eyes or at least his face. 'Dean?'

'Don't Dean me what do you think you are doing?' Dean yelled his anger taking a firm hold overriding his worry for his still ailing brother.

'Make it stop please Dean make it stop,' Sam pleaded with his brother, although he was unsure about what anymore. 'Don't wanna be … don't wanna hear …'

'Damn it Sam snap out of it,' Dean yelled again, refusing to acknowledge Sam's confusion or his flinching at the tone and anger in Dean's voice.

'Get it out, get out … no more!' Sam wept as he started to bang his head again, convinced it was the only way to silence the nagging again.

'Give in Sam, don't listen to your brother he doesn't understand. You're special Sam you're my special child, my Chosen child.' The voice laughed and mocked him.

Roughly Dean grabbed Sam by the shoulders and shook him, his temper getting the better of him blinded him to the needs of his brother as he shook him again, 'snap out of it Sam now!'

Sam took in a shaky shallow breath and slumped lifelessly against his brother, his long legs now splayed out in front of him and a bloody smear was left on the wall behind him. Dean immediately forgot his anger when he felt Sam collapse against him, 'Sam? Sammy?' He cried out in fear and concern this time, 'oh God Sammy don't do this not now.'

'Dean?' Sam muttered his brother's name unaware of anything or anyone, when he felt something in his mind snap just as his body stiffened and his muscles started to jerk and spasm uncontrollably.

'Sam? Sammy?' Dean eased Sam onto the floor as the convulsions suddenly became stronger and more violent. 'Bobby! Caleb get down here I need you.' Dean yelled as loud as he could, leaving his brother was not an option not now, instead he continued to yell until he heard the thudding of their feet on the stairs. 'Oh God what have I done?'

TBC