Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

Author's Note 1:Warning! This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

Author's Note 2: This chapter is dedicated to supernaturalrenegade, thanks for your continued words of support and enjoyment of this story. See if you can find yourself in the chapter hon! ;0)

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S—D

Chapter 11: The games the mind plays

When does a dream become a waking nightmare?

Then:

Roughly Dean grabbed Sam by the shoulders and shook him, his temper getting the better of him blinded him to the needs of his brother as he shook him again, 'snap out of it Sam now!'

Sam took in a shaky shallow breath and slumped lifelessly against his brother, his long legs now splayed out in front of him and a bloody smear was left on the wall behind him. Dean immediately forgot his anger when he felt Sam collapse against him, 'Sam? Sammy?' He cried out in fear and concern this time, 'oh God Sammy don't do this not now.'

'Dean?' Sam muttered his brother's name unaware of anything or anyone, when he felt something in his mind snap just as his body stiffened and his muscles started to jerk and spasm uncontrollably.

'Sam? Sammy?' Dean eased Sam onto the floor as the convulsions suddenly became stronger and more violent. 'Bobby! Caleb get down here I need you.' Dean yelled as loud as he could, leaving his brother was not an option not now, instead he continued to yell until he heard the thudding of their feet on the stairs. 'Oh God what have I done?'

Now:

The Sioux Falls Community Hospital had become a temporary home very quickly for Dean Winchester. For the first five days the staff tried to send him home each night once visiting times had finished but they had to eventually concede defeat and he was allowed to come and go as he pleased. The nurses had even set up a small stretcher bed, normally used for the parents of sick children, in Sam's intensive care unit so he could stay with his brother. Although for once he didn't have to resort to his normally charming and flirtatious personality to sweet-talk the nurses into letting him stay; instead it was his sheer stubbornness and the fact that he was Sam's only living blood relative and for now their patient's needs overrode any hospital protocol.

'Hey Marian how's it going today?' Dean greeted the day shift nurse as she started her rounds, 'ya looking especially lovely today.'

'It's good to see you too Dean, you sweet thing you, so how's this gorgeous brother of yours doing this morning?'

'Doing good aint ya Sammy.' Dean said as he took Sam's hand and squeezed it gently, in response Sam's eyes tracked sluggishly towards the sound of his brother's voice and finally fixed on the familiar face.

'Well done Sam.' Marian praised as she watched her young patient, 'you're doing great.'

Sam managed a slight blush at the praise but his eyes never left his brother's face.

It was now three weeks since Sam had been rushed to hospital in an ambulance after suffering a series of convulsions, the cover story Bobby had given them was simple enough to remember but close enough to fact and detailed to sound perfectly logical. He had suffered a head injury in a fire that had claimed the life of his girlfriend a few months ago, he was still suffering from the effects of his injuries when he had a fall and triggered the convulsions. Pressure on his optic nerves from swelling in and around his brain caused the partial blindness and even though his sight had improved slowly it was never going to be perfect again.

The neurosurgeon and doctors all agreed that Sam's brain damage was permanent and it was only a matter of time to find out the degree of impairment. For now, he had awareness of his surroundings and people familiar to him, especially his brother and adopted uncle. He was able to move his right hand and leg slightly after a lot of encouragement from his therapists and Dean. But other than that for the most part Sam seemed unresponsive to the point of catatonia and had become very childlike in his mannerisms and temperament.

He stubbornly refused for anyone to feed him except Dean by clamping his jaw shut and turning his head away, his bathroom habits were also a point of contention between the once proud and independent young man and his nurses until Dean once again took over that detail as well.

Only Bobby and Dean knew the truth and were able to at least talk to each other about Sam's true condition and how to help him. One thing that they did know for sure and that is Sam was not going to be in the hospital for much longer, especially now they had the convulsions under control with medications. They were both better equipped and understood Sam more than anyone else all they had to do was to convince the doctors to discharge the youngest Winchester.

'So Sam do ya want the sexy Marian to give ya a bed bath?' Dean quipped and gave the blushing nurse a cheeky wink and grin.

A soft breathy huff was the only answer Sam gave along with his modified bitch face. 'Not gonna work Sammy you've gotta try a little harder.' Dean coached leaning down closer to Sam's face, 'try a little harder Sammy please.'

Sam frowned and openly glared at his brother but still tried three times to form the words and to get his voice working, 'n-no D-De.' He finally stammered the effort clearly defined on his face.

'Way to go Sammy!' Dean cheered his grin widening with pride for his brother and the first words he has spoken after the convulsions. 'Wanna try it again a little more this time?'

Sam frowned at Dean but there was no heat from anger building behind it. 'S-s-s-sorry M-Mar-Mari…'

'Nothing to be sorry for Sam,' Marian said smiling down at the young man who was fast stealing her heart, if only she was a little younger and not married. 'How about I go and find out where your breakfast is and Dean can help in the bathroom?'

'Th-thanks,' Sam said though his words were barely audible he was getting so tired after the effort it took in getting those few stuttered words out.

Dean watched Marian leave before he turned back to his brother, 'hey Sammy we've gotta talk before we get ya going.'

'Wh-wha?'

'How do ya feel about coming home to Bobby's?'

'T-true?' Sam said but his voice was fading as fast as his energy levels.

'No more talking for you just now kiddo,' Dean said when he noticed how pale and tired his brother was looking, 'come on let's get ya showered and shaved.'

'kay…' Sam grimaced and a tear of frustration started to fall, unable to focus on his brother's face he tried to roll his head away from Dean's stare but was stopped by a tenderly placed finger on his chin.

'Sammy, Sam look at me hey you're doing fine it's just going to take time to get back to your old self and that's gonna happen I promise you.' Dean said as he slid his hand behind Sam's neck and cupped it in a gentle and brotherly embrace. 'Ready to get up?'

Sam barely moved his head but for Dean it was enough, moving around the bed he gathered the toiletries and towels taking them to the bathroom before returning for his brother, after pulling the blankets back Dean took a quick look at his brother's seemingly frail frame. It was such a short time ago that Sam was tall, healthy, and vibrant. Argumentative, independent and fiercely loyal Sam was now a shell of his former self and all because of a demon and a freaking moth man. 'We need to get some junk food into ya kiddo, you need fattening up a bit.'

Sam screwed his nose up and gave his brother a sour look as he lifted a shaking hand off the bed and up to meet Dean's hand. With a smug but loving smile Dean took Sam's hand and helped him into a seated position before gently taking Sam's paralysed arm and looping it around his own neck, 'okay Sammy on three … one … two … three.' Dean slowly stood keeping Sam tucked close to his side once they were upright he waited for his brother to regain his equilibrium before they made their way to the bathroom, even though it was just a few feet away their progress was slow but steady.

A lifetime of looking after his brother gave Dean an unusual perspective on life and family and right at this moment he wouldn't have it any other way. Sure Sam was currently a shadow of his former self but he was alive and functioning and for that Dean would be forever grateful. Functioning and alive he can work with, dead and buried is not and will never be an option.

After the shower and shave, Dean helped Sam into fresh clothes and then gave him a modicum amount of privacy on the toilet while he packed up the used toiletries and damp towels; a tired grunt was all he needed as a signal that Sam was ready to return to the comfort of his bed.

When they left the small ensuite Dean paused for a second when he saw the made up bed and the tray laden with Sam's breakfast on the side table in front of the large leather chair next to the bed.

'Looks like you're gonna have breakfast upright Sammy,' Dean said as he tried to gauge Sam's passive reactions, 'whatcha think?'

Sam blinked lethargically and tried to work out what Dean was saying, the buzzing and fog was back in his mind drowning out the words. Swaying dizzily he tried to clutch Dean's shirt with his good hand and steady himself.

'Bed it is,' Dean said leading his brother directly to the made up bed, 'they don't know nothing here do they Sammy?'

'Nhg…' Sam grimaced but when Dean was able to lower him back onto the bed, the grimace faded and a sigh of relief replaced the grunt of pain.

'Tired huh kiddo?' Dean kept the running commentary going as he settled Sam back onto the bed and then wheeled the table across the room, 'I don't blame ya for wantin' breakfast in bed, but lap it up coz once you're feeling better this is gonna stop.'

Lifting the glass of orange juice to Sam's lips he angled the straw so his brother could sip safely but when he tried to get him to swallow some of the very lumpy and grey looking oatmeal he was met with pure Sammy stubbornness and a clamped shut jaw. Chuckling Dean put the bowl down and picked up the piece of now cold toast, 'how about we get some real food for ya? I think it's time for a breakout Winchester style.'

S—D

An hour later Sam slept fitfully on top of his hospital bed, dressed in thick warm sweat pants and three tops layered, finished with an oversized hoodie. Dean stood staring out the window his muscles twitching with the urge to do something, anything rather than sit around the depressive hospital watching over the gimp.

The heat of anger surged through Dean and suddenly he struck out pounding the glass window with his fist in a blur of precision and power. 'Feels good doesn't it, want to taste some more?' A voice sounded in his ears but when he spun around there was no one standing there, 'come on boy be a man, take the power and wield it. Perhaps I chose the wrong brother I should have chosen you instead of your weaker sibling.'

Dean shook his head trying to dispel the voice and buzzing sounds, glancing over his shoulder he watched Sam for a few seconds to make sure that he was fast asleep, there was no one else in the room with them but he felt closed in; surrounded by nothingness.

'Where are ya Bobby?' Dean asked scrubbing at his stubbled cheeks, 'too damned tired for my own good.'

'You never have to worry about being tired again, just say yes … we can get rid of the gimp and then you can take your place at the head of my army.' The voice wound its way through Dean's mind and thoughts, filling him with darkness and an intense anger, an anger directed solely at the young man lying in the hospital bed.

'Dean!' Bobby tried once more to break through Dean's reverie when a fist came straight at him, instinct took over and he managed to dodge the lethal blow. 'Dean Winchester ya great freaking idjit! Yer better have a good reason for that or I'm gonna give ya one of me own.'

'Bobby?' Dean blinked and stared at his adopted uncle, mentor and friend, 'when did you get here?'

'You really back with me idjit?' Bobby frowned and looked up at the ceiling searching for anymore moth men lurking about.

'What the hell are you on about Bobby?' Dean rubbed his forehead, a killer headache decided to take up residence just behind his eyes, 'we're gonna bust Sammy outta here Bobby, he's tired now but…'

'but what kiddo?'

'Sam spoke this morning Bobby, not a lot mainly half words and sounds but he was able to talk.'

'That's great Dean,' Bobby said with a smile, 'that why he's done in now?'

'Yeah that and he had a shower and shave this morning as well,' Dean added proudly but before he could say anything else the door swung open and Marian came in with Sam's neurosurgeon Mister Cullen and his doctor Miles Broderick. 'So what's up docs?' Dean asked his cheeky grin fading fast when he saw the looks on their faces, 'what is it?'

'Sam's latest test results are in Dean,' Miles Broderick spoke first, 'there are definite signs of improvement in his basic motor skills …'

'But?' Bobby stepped up to stand shoulder to shoulder with the younger man in a show of support when a soft whimper silenced all of them.

Dean stepped over to his brother's bed and leant in a little closer, 'hey Sammy you with us?'

'Mm De…Dean.' Sam mumbled sleepily, 'wha happ…'

'Docs are here wanting to talk to us.' Dean said in reply worried at the trouble Sam was having in waking up and comprehending what was going on. Maybe they were expecting too much for him to come home so soon.

'Hi Sam how are you feeling?' Miles asked his patient before glancing over at the still silent surgeon; obviously it was up to him to deliver the final blow to Sam and his family.

'De?' Sam squinted up at Dean his confusion clearly etched across his young face, 'wha'?'

'The Doctors are here to talk to us about your condition Sammy you doing okay dude?'

'Wanna go home De.' Sam whispered unnerved by the strangers in the room, the lady felt familiar and Uncle Bobby was there but he couldn't remember who the other men were and why they were in his room.

'Shh it's okay Sam,' Dean turned his back on the others giving Sam his full attention he cupped his free hand on the nape of Sam's neck and squeezed gently, 'I can talk to em for ya.'

'Don' g-go De.' Sam cried out suddenly and tried to reach for Dean's hand with his paralysed limb, his confusion and fear now soaring towards a full on panic attack. 'Don' go!'

'Not going anywhere Sammy, hey where's all this coming from?' Dean tuned out the hushed whispers coming from behind them and moved a little more completely block their view of Sam. 'Talk to me dude what's going on?'

'S-scare me…' Sam said 'wan' g-go h-home, wan' d-dad an' wan' you.'

'Sam where do … Sam you feeling okay?'

'M'tired De tell em to go way.' Sam said pouting slightly, suddenly he no longer looked like the strapping young twenty-two year old Dean picked up from Stanford, now he was more like a lost twelve year old.

Dean twisted around slightly to look up at the doctors, Marian and finally Bobby silently begging them to give him answers and to help Sam.

'Sam can I have a look at you?' Miles asked as he crossed the floor to stand on the other side of Sam's bed. A derisive snort from the other doctor made both Dean and Miles glare at him.

'I have other patients to see, I'll be back to talk to this patient's family later. You can handle things here can't you Miles?' Mister Cullen asked and then strode out of the room before Miles could answer.

'Nice personality there, as much as a rock,' Dean grumbled and then turned his glare at the last remaining medic, 'you gonna bail on Sam too?'

'Not all at Dean, now let's see what's going on with your brother,' Miles said with what he hoped was a comforting smile; his own anger smouldered deep down inside his gut for the officious and pompous specialist, words were definitely going to be exchanged later, 'Sam do you know who I am?'

'Nope,' Sam replied without looking at the strange man, instead he found a loose thread in his blanket more interesting. Although he couldn't really see it, he was able to twist it around his slender fingers and tug on it gently to see what would happen.

'Dude this is Doc Miles … he's been your doctor while you've been in hospital,' Dean said while he made eye contact with the doctor, 'what the hell?' he mouthed directing his anger at the medic rather than his ailing brother.

'Wanna g-go home,' Sam whined pitifully, and for the first time since his brother started to talk again Dean found himself wishing for the silence to return, this new Sam was unnerving and very annoying to say the least.

'Yeah we're gonna take ya home as soon as the doc says it's okay but you have to let him have a look at you Sam and to ask questions. Hey Sammy look at me …'

'Where's Dad? Why not here?' Sam asked sniffing loudly, 'wanna go home.'

'Sam can I give you a quick examination so I can help make you feel better?' Miles cut in quickly before overwrought emotions bubbled over with both siblings.

'O-Owkay …' Sam finally acquiesced as he lifted his gaze to the man in the white coat.

Taking the opportunity while he had it, Miles quickly started the physical side of the examination with Marian's help, but when Dean went to move away Sam started to panic and tears started to fall. With a small shrug in apology to the doctor Dean stayed where he was with his brother while the physical exam continued.

'Can you feel me do this Sam?' Miles asked as he ran a needle tip down the sole of Sam's left foot, the lack of response was enough for the doctor as he tried to hide his disappointment and moved onto Sam's right foot. Slowly he made his way around all of the nerve points testing reflexes and pain response all the while keeping one eye focused on Sam's face, he quickly realised it was the easiest and fastest way to find out how his patient was doing. Finally the part of the physical came up that Miles was dreading to do, 'okay Sam I just need to check your surgical site.'

'No!' The emphatic response came immediately as far as Sam was concerned no one was touching his head again not in the near future or ever if he had his way. His head was fine until the nasties got in and then the doctors did their bit; now, now he was suffering from all of the interference.

'Hey Sammy look at me,' Dean ignored the others in the room and focused solely on his brother, 'the faster the doc can check your noggin' out the faster we can take ya home to Bobby's.'

'Home? Back to Bobby's?' Sam turned his liquid filled gaze to where he knew Bobby was standing, 'Uncle Bobby we go back your place?' the words came out a little slurred and softly spoken but were clear enough for Sam's intent to come through.

'Yeah kiddo once the doctor springs ya, yer coming back to my place for a while.' Bobby said and moved closer to stand next to Dean, 'aint getting' rid of me that easy Sam.'

'Aw Uncle Bobby … ow hurts!' Sam tried to pull his head from Marian's gentle but firm grip, 'meanie!'

'Sam!' Dean couldn't help but scold his brother, it was almost as though Sam had slept fine but woken up with the mentality of a petulant eight year old. 'Hold still kiddo and it'll go quicker.'

'Don't l-like dum-dummy docs.' Sam pouted but tried to remain as still as he could while Miles finished up checking the wound for signs of infection and then while he moved around to check Sam's eyes Marian cleaned the surgical site and redressed it.

'Sam can you tell me what you can see clearly?' Miles asked while he shone a small penlight into his patient's left eye.

'Can see ya face doc … an-and De-Dean.' Sam mumbled between the doctor shining lights into his eyes and the nurse … Marian poking and wrapping his head he had had enough and was ready to explode. Just when he was about to yell at them, a burst of light had Sam crying out in pain. It was so bright and intense it felt as though his eyes were going to burst into flames.

'Hur-Hurts De-Dean where's gone?' Sam screamed in pain as another burst of light flared, 'no more … peaze no more.'

Feeling his frustration growing Dean was ready to pull the plug on all of the poking and prodding; all he wanted was answers to his questions and a definitive diagnosis on Sam's condition, when Sam cried out in pain and tried to lift his hands to hold his aching head. Dean's heart felt like it was going to fall into tiny pieces when he heard the plaintive cries and then another heart-wrenching scream come from his little brother, his speech and actions deteriorating faster than anyone could have predicted.

'Marian get me ten milligrams of Diprivan IV push,' Miles ordered as he tried to calm his patient down.

'Back off doc and let me try, you don't have to dope him up.' Dean almost snarled at the doctor before placing himself on the bed and wrapping his arms around Sam; cradling his little brother against his chest he slowly started to rock them and hummed an off-key version of Highway to Hell while he tugged his fingers through Sam's hair.

By the time Marian had returned with the sedative Sam was sleeping fitfully against Dean's shoulder the fingers of his right hand twisted tightly around the hem of his brother's shirt.

'Okay Doc you've got me and Bobby as a captive audience so spill what's going on with my little brother?'

'As you know the neurosurgeon went in and released some of the pressure that was building up at the back of Sam's brain, he has also clipped off a small bleeder. From the history and physical presentation the prognosis is not great.'

'Define not great doc.' Dean growled but backed down just a fraction when he felt Bobby's hand resting heavily on his shoulder, 'sorry so you were saying?'

'The general consensus for Sam's prognosis is … the convulsions are under control and can be controlled even more with medication if needed, the brain damage basically Sam is not going to improve much further than where he is now. In fact the specialists who had reviewed Sam's case are all in agreement on this point, if anything he may deteriorate a little more. Mentally you are looking at the average and temperament of a ten year old, his eyesight will need to be checked on a regular basis and he will have to wear glasses…'

'So the short end of the stick is Doc Sam is going to be a Sasquatch sized ten year old with glasses for the rest of his life. A ten year old prone to convulsions and what else?'

'Dean…' Bobby spoke up he glanced over at his 'nephew' before he looked back at the doctor, 'how about we go and talk things through and let the brothers have some time together Doc? I have a few questions about what to do for Sam to come home.' Bobby steered the doctor and nurse out of the room without them realising just how close they came to the ticking time bomb known as Dean Winchester.

S—D

Bobby stood on his porch, a lone sentry waiting for any signs of the approaching Winchester storm. Finally, he could hear the distant rumble of the impala's powerful motor and he hefted a huge sigh of relief. After another week of tests, therapies and pompous-assed specialists Sam was finally released from hospital.

The only problem was that he had seemingly regressed once again, this time though more introvertly. Sam would only speak to Dean or to Bobby himself and that proved a big enough problem in itself until he started to refuse to interact with anyone else who wanted to help him, most good intentioned actions were met with either a torrent of tears or snarls and growls. By the end of his last week there, Marian was one of the few nurses Sam would let near him; Dean and Bobby were dumbfounded with the differences in Sam now, and they both hoped beyond hope that coming home to familiar surroundings will help snap their youngest family member back to his old self.

S—D

As he drove them back to Bobby's salvage yard, Dean kept taking tiny glances at his brother next to him. Stubborn to the end, Sam refused to acknowledge the specialist or the other nurses when he was leaving. He said goodbye to Marian and to Miles and that was it, no one else mattered to Sam. All he wanted was to get out of the hospital and to go back home; all he wanted was to see his dad again.

Dean sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck again, he was dreading to tell Sam about their dad, the kid was so volatile at the moment there was no telling how he was going to react, a ticking bomb with a very short fuse these days and it worried Dean more than Sam's healing physical problems.

S—D

Bobby waited until Dean had pulled up as close to the front of his house as possible before he started down the steps and walked towards the car. He could see Sam staring around the salvage yard as though he had never seen it before and it broke his heart. When the doctor had explained it all to Bobby, the gruff and tough hunter/salvage yard man almost fell apart what that kid went through at the hands of the Gorathic moth and of that yellow eyed demon was reprehensible and deserved only one punishment: Death or dismemberment or both!

'Hey Sam welcome home,' Bobby said as brightly as he could while he opened the car door and held it while Dean helped Sam out of the passenger seat, with his gangly height and extreme loss of weight he looked like a new born giraffe all long legs and knobbly knees.

'Hey Uncle Bobby,' Sam replied shyly, 'where's dad?'

Sam asked the same question every day like clockwork, he still slurred his words and stuttered over a lot of them but they were understandable and that was the main thing. 'Not here kiddo but you and yer brother are and that I can be happy with.'

'Thanks Uncle Bobby.' Sam gave Bobby an awkward and lopsided hug before he allowed Dean to guide him inside. Dean and Bobby had already decided to set Sam up downstairs closer to the warmth of the fire, the kitchen and more importantly where he could be with them and not left to his own devices while resting.

S—D

A primal scream of pain and terror filled the interior of Bobby's house waking two of the three occupants. Another scream had them reacting faster than they had ever thought possible.

'Sam, Sammy what is it?' Dean asked he was lying in a sleeping bag just a few feet away from Sam's bed to keep an eye on him and Bobby had his upstairs where he could try to get some rest.

'No … No! Moth take … Protector find me please find me!' Sam screamed completely oblivious to Dean and Bobby's presence at his side. With his good arm flailing in front of him, Sam struck out at the danger only he could see.

The giant moth man hovered in the corner above Sam's bed, taunting its victim and relishing in the pure and unadulterated fear radiating from him. Sam could see it but he didn't understand why no one else could see it. 'N-no not real, Dean help me!'

'M'right here Sammy, me and Bobby are right here for ya.'

'Not real?' Sam's chest heaved with a large sob he felt Dean's strong arms surrounding him and finally he was able to relax enough to open his eyes and to squint up at his brother and uncle. 'Dean?'

'Yeah dude?'

'Where's dad?'

TBC

Just a quick end note: If you'd like to feature in future chapters of this story then please send me a review and add a small request in it.

I hope that supernaturalrenagade enjoyed her cameo appearance in this chapter and who knows she might pop up again! hehehehe

please forgive any mistakes with the medical stuff, I tried!

I know not too much happens in this chapter but consider this the eye of the storm!