Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

Author's Note 1: Warning! This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

Chapter 12: Which Sam is which and who is Sam?

To sleep, and to sleep a chance to dream…

Then:

'Sam, Sammy what is it?' Dean asked he was lying in a sleeping bag just a few feet away from Sam's bed to keep an eye on him and Bobby had his upstairs where he could try to get some rest.

'No … No! Moth take … Protector find me please find me!' Sam screamed completely oblivious to Dean and Bobby's presence at his side. With his good arm flailing in front of him, Sam struck out at the danger only he could see.

The giant moth man hovered in the corner above Sam's bed, taunting its victim and relishing in the pure and unadulterated fear radiating from him. Sam could see it but he didn't understand why no one else could see it. 'N-no not real, Dean help me!'

'M'right here Sammy, me and Bobby are right here for ya.'

'Not real?' Sam's chest heaved with a large sob he felt Dean's strong arms surrounding him and finally he was able to relax enough to open his eyes and to squint up at his brother and uncle. 'Dean?'

'Yeah dude?'

'Where's dad?'

Now:

Dean sat in behind Bobby's desk pretending to do some research for one of Bobby's hunter friends but all he could do was to think of that voice he kept hearing and was now mysteriously quiet.

'Just ya nerves idiot.' He muttered to himself and took a long swig of whiskey before topping up his glass with some more; Bobby had seemed to have restocked since the last time the Winchester brothers had stayed with him, funny that.

A soft giggling coming from the other room piqued Dean's curiosity and with whiskey glass in hand he went to investigate what had his brother giggling.

'Hey Sammy what's going on?' he asked waving slightly to gain his brother's attention; he knew that Sam couldn't really see him clearly but the movement would be just enough to catch his eye.

'Hi De-Dean,' Sam smiled shyly and giggled again making Dean smile along with him; it seemed for once that Sam had actually woken up in a good mood for a change.

'So what's got ya laughing kiddo?' Dean asked sitting down next to his brother, the television wasn't on; there was no sign of anyone else in the room and no one on the phone.

'F-funny m-man g-g-g-got m-mad wif m-me,' Sam said pointing to an empty corner of the living room, but then his smile faltered and his large luminous eyes filled with tears darkening their normally bright greenness. 'He – He s-s-says b-bad th-things n-now.'

'Hey calm down kiddo big breath remember what your therapist Debbie said.'

'Umm sl-slow an-and st-st-steady an-and b-b-breath.' Sam said, 'oh yeah an-and th-think f-first.'

'That's it now what funny man are you talking about Sam?' Dean asked eyeing the living room area, he knew for a fact that Bobby had tightened up their 'supernatural' security so there shouldn't be any way possible for anything to get in: anything or anyone.

'The …man … with … yell … yell …yellow eyes.' Sam slowly pushed the words out, deliberately trying to slow down and control his breathing; frustrating but it did work for him.

Dean paled instantly when he heard Sam utter 'yellow eyes', if that's the case then the voice he heard was real, 'Sam are you sure dude? You saw Yellow Eyes?'

'Funny … man … g-g-ot … m-m-mad … n-not … f-f-fun-funny … no …m-more.' Sam turned to face his big brother, he squinted and tried to focus on Dean's face but all he could see were blurred outlines. Angry he started to hit the side of his head with his good hand, 'dumb … dumb … dumb.' He kept repeating with each strike the movement catching Dean unaware at first, but then he realised what Sam was doing and moved quickly to grab his brother's arm and pin it down.

'Calm down Sam, please just calm down and breath for me.' Dean begged just as Bobby's phone started ringing insistently.

'Damn it all,' Bobby muttered as he hurried to answer it before it really freaked Sam out, 'this had better be important idjit.'

'Bobby it's Rufus.'

'What is it?'

'Nice to talk to you too…'

'Aint you supposed to be keeping an eye on Caleb?'

'He's right here with me old man.'

'Nuff of the old now what do ya want idjit?'

'Caleb wanted me to give ya a heads up…'

'Well the day's not getting any longer.'

'we're at that old camp making sure that nuthin was missed…'

'And? What is it Rufus aint got all day…'

'In the bunkhouse, no other way to describe it Singer but that Moth did more than just eat people.'

'What the freaking hell are ya talkin' about Rufus?'

'The bunkhouse ceiling is covered in what looks like cocoons.' Rufus said sounding distracted, 'and from what we can see looks like he did some spawning if ya get my meaning.'

'What the hell?'

'Baby Gorathic Moths Bobby that plain enough for ya.'

S—D

Dean helped Sam back into his bed and then perched himself on the side of it, smiling tenderly at his brother he brushed stray strands of hair from Sam's flushed face and shook his head, 'think we might have to get ya a haircut one of these days Sammy ya starting to look more like a Samantha.'

'Not funny Dean,' Sam pouted slightly, 'no one touches my hair.'

Sam's declaration had Dean sit up a bit straighter and sharpen his gaze slightly, that sounded so much like the old – older Sam, 'Sam?'

'Not much time Dean hard to keep control.' Sam pushed the words out as though he was fighting internally for control of his own body.

'Sam is that really you dude?' Dean asked, he did love his age-altered brother's persona but he so missed adult Sam.

'Yeah not much time in here …' Sam tapped his temple with his good hand and then reached over to grip Dean's tightly. 'Need – need you to …'

'Remember to breath slowly and think about your …' Dean started coaching Sam again but stopped when he saw the change in Sam's demeanour, 'what is it Sammy?'

'Sam not S-Sammy,' Sam hissed out of habit more than anything else, 'need you to help me … still in here Dean.'

'Who is Sammy?'

'M-Moth man and Yellow Eyes.'

'Ah dude, what's going on?'

'Can still see Yellow Eyes but – but only f-feel Moth.'

'What do you want me to do Sam?' Dean asked dreading Sam's answer, he knew deep down what his little brother was going to ask.

'Need you to-to do ritual again,' Sam pushed the words out the strain evident on his face, on-on me.'

'Ah Sam…'

'No-no l-listen to m-me Dean n-not much t-time left,' Sam said and squeezed Dean's hand again, 'need rit-ritual on m-me to m-make him g-go.'

'Okay dude … can you do me a favour and rest for me?' Dean asked as he let go of Sam's hand and pulled the blankets up to his brother's chest, 'rest while I go and get Bobby so we can get it all organised.'

'Th-thanks Dean,' Sam said as he tried to hide his yawn, suddenly he felt so tired. 'M'leepy.'

S—D

Dean waited until he was sure that Sam was sound asleep; brushing his fingertips over Sam's forehead, he told himself it was because he wanted to check for a fever but deep down he knew he just wanted to have that physical connection once more before going to find Bobby.

'Hey Bobby we need to talk…'

'Dean we need to talk…'

The two men met in the living room both speaking at the same time when they laid eyes on each other.

'What is it Bobby?'

'No Dean what is it? Is something wrong with Sam?'

'Just had a bit of a strange conversation with my little bro, and you look like you've seen the proverbial ghost.'

'That was ahh Rufus on the phone both him and Caleb are at that old camp where … they wanted to make sure that nothing was missed.'

'And?' Dean asked suddenly he had a feeling that Rufus' call and Sam's request were tied together.

'In the bunkhouse, they found … the ceiling is covered with cocoons, looks like there's gonna be baby Gorathic Moths soon, whatcha sayin' about Sam?'

'He – he was lucid Bobby, took a toll on him but he … he said he got control back for a minute. He said that the Moth and YED are still in his mind, he wants us to do the same ritual on him to exorcise them.'

'I thought this was all over Dean what the hell?' Bobby growled as he pushed his cap back and forward again in frustration.

'From what I could get from Sam, the moth is more or less in the background of his mind but the demon is the one talking to him, taunting him…'

'That explains little Sam, it'll be his mind or soul's way of protecting hisself.' Bobby said as the realisation hit both hunters at the same time.

'He regressed to protect himself from the psychic attacks from the moth and from The Demon.' Dean said he started to pace with the need to move overriding everything else, if he didn't pace he'd have started throwing punches with his pent up emotions and energy surging through him explosively.

'Rufus said that Caleb wanted to know if you had another … ahh Super Soaker?'

'The Supa Soaker? Only got the one but that's okay they can have that one and we'll use a spray bottle or something.'

'Do I need to know what you're talking about?'

Dean grinned and crooked his finger for Bobby to follow him out to the impala, they left the front door ajar so they could hear Sam if he woke up before they went back in. with a cheeky grin Dean went to the trunk and pulled out the giant pump action toy water gun, 'this Bobby is a Supa Soaker.'

S—D

Sam opened his eyes and stared around blearily, his head hurt so much it felt like someone had taken to his brain with a tiny pick axe and hammer both hitting at the same time. Blinking furiously he tried to remember why his sight was so out of whack and blurred when the memories hit him hard. With a harsh cry he threw his pillow across the room, tears of frustration ran freely down his face and went ignored as he tried to scramble out of his twisted blankets. Growling he balled up the offending bedding and threw them onto the floor; his entire body shook with the effort as he stood and staggered towards the window. He pounded on the glass and yelled at his brother and uncle, irrationally believing that they were leaving him, he screamed and hit the glass so hard it started to wobble under his weight.

S—D

Just as Dean shut the trunk lid he heard Sam yell his name out turning he stared in horror as his brother pounded on the glass window until it started to crack and shatter. 'No Sam!' he cried out but it was too late. Bobby and Dean watched on in horror as Sam's fist broke through the glass.

'Sammy!' Dean screamed as he sprinted towards his brother who stood dazed and staring down at the blurry red and moving thing on the end of his arm, 'Sammy?'

Sam turned slowly when he heard Dean's voice, he knew had done something wrong but couldn't work out what it was. Dimly he was aware of pain coming from his hand and the warm liquid dribbling from his fingers and splashing on the floor at his feet.

'Wha' 'ppened?' Sam asked as he swayed drunkenly suddenly feeling very lightheaded, 'don' feel so-so g-g-good Dean.'

'Whoa hang on sasquatch,' Dean said trying to keep his worry and anger at bay, for now he had a very confused and hurting little brother who needed his attention. 'Come on sit down and let me see ya hand.'

'M-my hand?' Sam said as he stared down at the blurred mess at the end of his arm, 'wha' hap-happened?'

'You tell me kiddo, why were ya banging on the window so hard?'

'S-s-saw you an-an-and B-Bob-Bobby l-leaving m-me.' Sam said dropping his lower lip into a pout, 'why yews lea-leaving m-me?'

'Leaving? Sam … Sammy we're not leaving you kiddo.' Dean said as he tried to keep his brother's attention, 'look at me Sam.'

'Yews were p-pack-packing 'pala!' Sam cried pawing at Dean's chest with his bleeding hand, 'don-don't yews l-love m-me no's more?'

'Calm down Sam please, remember what Debbie said you have to breath and think first, come on dude just breath nice and slow for me.'

'No!' Sam pushed against Dean's chest knocking his brother backwards, 'you not leave me.'

'Calm down now Sam!' Bobby growled as he stepped into the room, 'you do not push your brother around.'

'S-Sorry Un-Uncle B-Bobby … Dean…' Sam said pouting, 'don't leave me.'

'We're not leaving ya kid … now show me yer hand.' Bobby moved slowly towards the volatile younger Winchester, he kept Dean in sight as well as he approached, and mentally working out how far away from each other they all were.

'It's okay Sam we're not angry with you kiddo we just wanna make sure you're okay.' Dean said as he slowly sat back up rubbing his chest where the bruise was already forming; damned kid doesn't know his own strength.

'No!' Sam couldn't understand why he felt so angry but they were lying to him and that was not right, 'no you lie, you don't want me no more.'

'At least the stammering's gone.' Bobby quipped to Dean as he reached out to Sam, 'come on kiddo you're gonna face plant the floor in a moment, why don'tcha sit down and me let have a look.'

'No! Want Dean!' Sam yelled backing away from Bobby, 'you yelled at me.'

'I didn't … no one's yelling Sam we're just worried bout ya.' Bobby said but this time he remained where he was and held his hands up with palms out in a passive manner, 'will ya let us look after that hand of yours?'

'Hurts … Bobby where's Dean?' Sam blinked and tried to focus on his uncle's face, 'where's Dean? What happened to my hand?'

'Sam?' Bobby said and found himself desperately wanting a long straight whiskey.

'Sam is that you in there now?' Dean asked as he managed to stand without staggering, 'talk to me kiddo.'

'My … my hand … ahhh sorry Bobby broke tha window.'

'S'okay Sam can fix that easy,' Bobby said his relief heavy in his voice, 'how about we clean ya up now?'

'Huh? Yeah sure,' Sam said as he passively let Dean lead him out into the living room away from the window and broken glass, 'head feels funny.'

'How funny kiddo?'

'Em-empty, feels empty … got so mad and hot so … so hot,' Sam said sounding and looking so lost. 'Help me?'

'Is The Demon or the moth still there?' Dean asked as he carefully picked shards of glass from Sam's flesh.

'D-Dunno, feel something there but …'

'You can't stay mad forever Sam, you'd go mad.' Bobby said with a soft smile as he got the younger man to take two Tylenol on his tongue and then helped him sip some water to swallow them with. 'Atta boy.'

'My hands hurt,' Sam said with a slight pout, 'why?'

'You ahh decided to have a punch up with yer window,' Dean answered a little sharper than he intended but the constant changing in Sam's demeanour and persona was dizzying and more than just a little frustrating. 'You were asleep, you woke for some reason, got up and went to the window and picked a fight with it.'

'I-I saw you … and Bobby at – at the car … you leaving?'

'Leaving?' Bobby and Dean looked at each other as it dawned on them what Sam saw.

'Ah Sam no we're not leaving and certainly not packing to leave, Bobby wanted to see the Supa Soaker.' Dean said heaving a sigh of relief and finished dressing the wound on Sam's hand, now both of his hands were injured and bandaged, 'damn Sam you trying to become a living mummy huh?'

Sam glanced down at his hands both now swathed in white bandages and then up at his family, 'I guess huh?' He said sheepishly.

Once he was cleaned up and resting on the couch Sam closed his eyes and tried to relax, the voices were back in his head making his headache spike once again. 'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Better hurry with that ritual.' Sam whispered barely audible; panic tightened around his chest and blood dripped from his nose and eyes, 'hurry Dean.'

TBC