Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

Author's Note 1:Warning! This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

Chapter 17 Sammy don't be a hero…

Sammy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life…

Then:

'I can make it on my own Dean.'

'Yeah I know but humour me,' Dean said without looking up, he knew just from the trembling in Sam's limbs and the hitch to his voice that he was past all the last vestiges of his energy and endurance.

Sighing heavily Sam let Dean lead him inside but deep down he resolved to make sure that they would finish their conversation, 'Dean did you hear that?' he asked as he jerked his head up and squinted out into the late afternoon sun.

'Sam? What did you hear?' Dean stopped with his hand on the door handle and looked to where Sam was staring.

'Dunno … it kindof sounded like … wings fluttering … No please not again.' Sam cried out.

Now:

'Sam what is it?' Dean asked as he turned around and tried to see what Sam was staring at, 'Sammy dude your scaring me.'

'Don't you … ahhh nothing dean I'm sorry for scaring you.' Sam said trying to fob Dean off; when all he could see was a pair of large moth-like wings.

'Nope you don't Sam what do you see?' Dean demanded when he felt the wind rush over his skin causing goose bumps all over his bare arms. 'What the?'

'Do…do you see it too Dean?' Sam asked timidly, half of him wanting Dean to say yes and to validate his fears but the other half of him dreaded the fact that he was still a wimp and useless in Dean's eyes.

'Nope but I feel it, like giant wings flapping the hell outta here,' Dean squinted and tried to see the elusive mothman when he caught a glimpse of the creature's spectral form. 'Ah damn it … come on Sammy we gotta go inside now.'

'Dean no, I gotta do this…'

'Dude you're not fighting anything or anyone, you can hardly stand up or keep your eyes open,' Dean dragged Sam's arm over his shoulders and tucked his younger brother as close to himself as he could without dislodging the immobilising sling, 'now Sam.'

The brothers ran as fast as they could across the wooden veranda, slamming the front door behind them they paused leaning up against it as they fought to control their own breathes.

'Boys what is it?' Bobby asked as he rounded the corner determined to bring them in from outside, 'what's wrong?'

'Another freaking mothman Bobby, I thought we ganked the mother.' Dean said fuming when he felt Sam suddenly go limp next to him, 'ahh fuck can you help me get him to the couch please?''

'Yeah, yeah come on Sam one foot in front of the other,' Bobby coached the semi-conscious younger hunter, 'that's it.' Between the two of them, Bobby and Dean managed to get Sam to the couch just as his knees gave out completely and he collapsed bonelessly onto the old ratty couch.

'Sammy?' Dean paled as he took in his brother's pallor and stuttering intake of breaths, 'damn it, he wouldn't come in when I wanted him too and then the freaking mothman turned up … what next?'

'What moth?' Caleb asked as he and Rufus came into the room, 'is he okay?'

'Just worn out I think, the boys saw another freaking moth outside,' Bobby said succinctly, 'Dean you sit here with Sam while I get his meds organised, Rufus, Caleb git out there and see what's going on.'

'Who died and made you boss?' Caleb grumbled as he went over to the cupboard underneath the stairs and pulled out the preloaded supa-soaker gun, 'pays to be ready no matter what,' he grinned ruthlessly, 'a moth hunting I will go … you coming or what Rufus?'

'Yeah, yeah keep yer hair on.' Rufus grumbled, 'got another one of those?'

'Yeah the baby sized one,' Caleb chuckled as he tossed a smaller version of the toy gun to his friend, 'ready?'

'Always …' Rufus grinned back as they went to the front door and crept outside, armed and ready to hunt a giant moth. Rufus shook his head and laughed to himself he would never get over the fact that they were hunting man-sized moths.

'Okay you guys relax and we'll be back before ya can sing Dixie.' Caleb said with a soft chuckle as he moved in exaggerated movements to the front door and then slunk outside looking more like a cartoon hunter than a supernatural one.

Rufus shook his head and gave Dean an apologetic grin before following his friend outside; Dean rolled his eyes and then turned his attention back to his younger brother who lay so still and quiet on the couch.

'He's gonna be fine Dean,' Bobby said as he came back into the lounge room carrying a small tray laden with glasses of juice, a bottle of pills and a plate of sandwiches, 'sit down ya idjit and git this in ya.' Bobby passed the plate of sandwiches to Dean and then one of the glasses of apple juice.

'Juice Bobby? Really?' Dean screwed his nose up and glared up at the older hunter, 'how about some of the good stuff?'

'Nope not gonna happen so don't ask, just drink yer juice and be thankful it aint water and stale bread.'

'Yessir,' Dean said, 'friggin' prison warden' he added under his breath.

'I heard that,' Bobby said glancing over at Dean and tried to keep his face stern but the woeful look on the younger man's face had him wanting to burst out laughing. 'Eat it all and drink that whole glass of juice and maybe yer'll git some pie for dessert.

Dean opened his mouth to give Bobby some more cheek when he thought about what he was told and then he started eating with gusto, he hadn't realised just how hungry he was until he bit into the thick bread and filling of ham, cheese and tomato slathered with mustard and mayonnaise. 'Thanks Bobby,' he managed to say through a mouthful of food.

Shaking his head Bobby turned back to Sam, with innate tenderness he helped the frail young man to sit up before pressing the glass of juice into one hand and then dropped two white pills into his other hand. 'Here Sam just sip yer drink and they're the good pills, should help settle the pain.'

'Thanks Bobby,' Sam said his voice sounding hollow and barely above a whisper.

'No worries, so you two gonna play nice while I go and see what the other idjits are doing,' Bobby asked as he looked from one brother to the other.

'Yeah sure Bobby don't sweat it,' Dean said as he pushed the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

'Gross Dean,' Sam said as he squinted at his brother, 'can't see much but I can still see that!'

S—D

Bobby found Rufus and Caleb sitting on the front steps talking quietly, their water cannons discarded by their sides. 'What are you two idjits doin' sittin' there for? Where's the mothman?'

'Bobby … ahh we looked everywhere man, there's no mothman,' Caleb started.

'Yeah only thing we found was a large bat,' Rufus finished for him, 'we were just talking about it and Dean and Sam.'

'What about 'em?' Bobby asked suspiciously.

'Sam's just gotten outta hospital, and well Dean's been stressed to the max …' Rufus said

'Yeah and … your point being?'

'Now don't git all het up under the collar but maybe, just maybe that the bat seemed like a giant moth to the guys …'

'You think that they made it up?' Bobby snapped, no one calls his boys liars.

'Now I aint saying no such thing Singer, I just meant that maybe the boys aren't seeing things too clearly right now.'

'Rufus is right Bobby, there's nothing to show any sign of the creature, not even a wind trail.' Caleb said, 'what do we tell em?'

'Tell em that it's gone, that's all they haveta know for now.' Bobby said as he pushed past his friends, 'then maybe it's time for you two to look at doing some hunting …'

'You want us to leave?' Caleb asked his eyes widening comically, 'are we being evicted?'

'Idjit,' Bobby said shaking his head, 'no but there aint no point in the three of us watch over the brothers while they heal up, it'll be better if you two chuckleheads are out there making sure that there's nothing coming for Sam and Dean.'

'Can do that Bobby,' Rufus said capitulating a little too quickly making Bobby narrow his stare and regard his old friend and partner carefully.

'You right there Rufus?'

'M'fine and I think that's it a good idea for us to get outta yer hair for a while,' Rufus grinned suddenly, 'got a hankering to shoot something anyway.'

'Or to blow something up, that could be good!' Caleb said smirking at the furious look on the face of the older man.

S—D

'How you doing there Sammy?' Dean asked tired of the constant silence in the room, 'need anything?'

'M'fine,' Sam replied without looking at his brother.

'Nope wrong answer try again Sammy,' Dean said as he started to get annoyed with the stoic silent suffering his brother was perfecting.

'I said I'm fine Dean,' Sam sighed his voice monotone and filled with tiredness.

'And I want more Sam, you in pain? You pissed? Anything?'

'Why Dean?' Sam slowly tilted his head upwards and turned to face his brother, 'I thought we had discussed it earlier and worked it all out then.'

'We worked out jack-shit Sam,' Dean snapped, 'try getting angry,'

'at who Dean? Who would I get angry at and why? What's the point of expending all of that energy on … nothing?'

'Damn it Sam get angry at me … I'm the one who kicked the shit outta you…'

'You were possessed Dean …'

'So? I was the one who hit and kicked you … who did that damage they were my fists and feet … no one else's so get fucking angry with me, you need to let it out.'

'Why?' Sam asked again his voice still in a monotone whispered volume. 'I'm tired Dean,'

'Damn it Sam … get mad, get even just don't …'

'Don't what?'

'Do what you're doing … it's not healthy.'

'I just got out of the hospital Dean,'

'So?'

'So I'm supposed to rest and heal …' Sam said without raising his voice but there was an ever so slight inflection on his last two words.

'You still think that you're worthless don't you?' Dean demanded his own anger beginning to override his concern for Sam.

'Aren't you angry enough for the two of us?' Sam asked squinting up at his brother but before he could say or do anything else he felt himself being hauled up by his shirt front, 'Dean?'

'Fuck Sam you're not some unfeeling robot, you … you're the emotional one so get emotional!'

'Boys? Thought I told you to play nice,' Bobby said as he came back inside, 'what's going on?'

'Nothing,' Dean said as he let go of Sam and stalked off towards the back of the house.

'Sam?' Bobby asked as he helped the boy to get comfortable again.

'Nothing Bobby, it was nothing,' Sam said lowering his gaze again as he lifted a shaking hand and rubbed his forehead, 'damn it.'

'What is it Sam?'

'Just a headache that's all,' Sam said, 'think I might head upstairs to sleep for a while.'

'You sure kiddo?'

'Yeah I am, a good sleep will help,' Sam said as he slowly pushed himself up off the couch, pausing when a wave of dizziness threatened to drop him again.

'Yeah right and I'm the queen of England,' Bobby groused as he slipped an arm around Sam's waist and waited patiently until the younger man was ready to move.

'Bobby can I ask you something?' Sam said as he let Bobby help him get ready for bed, his stomach was churning in time with the pounding in his head but he had to ask, he had to find out before he saw Dean again.

S—D

With a roar of impotent fury Dean pulled his fist back and let fly at the old punching bag hanging in Bobby's shed, stuffing and straw dust sprinkled over the floor as he started to punch it repeatedly. The only thing keeping him from falling down was his hard-headed stubbornness and refusal to calm down.

As he attacked the punching bag he saw the face of the yellow-eyed demon laughing maniacally at him, 'fucking bastard!' he screamed as he felt the fragile and still healing flesh on his knuckles split again.

'You finished with your pissing contest with my bag?' Bobby asked as he stood in the doorway with two beers in his hand.

'Where's Sam?' Dean demanded, 'you didn't leave him alone did you?'

'He's fine and sounds asleep so don't change the subject, you finished smashing your knuckles again idjit?'

'Huh?' Dean glanced down at his bleeding hand, 'yeah guess so.'

'Feel better?'

'Nope.'

'Good to hear, ya know I aint just here for my good looks kid, if ya need anyone to talk to…'

'M'fine Bobby.'

'Yeah right, right and I'm the Easter bunny.' Bobby passed one of the beers to Dean before taking a seat on a tall stool, 'sit down Dean we gotta talk.'

'I'm …'

'Don't say fine or I'll give ya a few lickings myself,' Bobby growled and stared pointedly at Dean and then the stool a few times.

Sighing heavily and pouting Dean sat down on the stool, sipped his beer before putting it down on the workbench, and began to wrap his hand with a loose bandana.

'Sam asked me something just before he went to sleep,' Bobby said as he watched Dean carefully, 'got me worryin'.'

'What was it Bobby?' Dean asked but had a sinking feeling that he already knew the answer.

'He wanted to know if he could live here with me.' Bobby said it quickly and without hesitation because deep down he knew that he would not be able to get it out again.

'He what?' Dean asked in disbelief, visibly deflating in front of Bobby's eyes.

'He thinks that ya'll be better off if he's off the danger zone, his words by the way.'

'Damn it Sammy,' Dean said as he ran his fingers through his hair, 'what do I do now Bobby? He's convinced that he's nothing but a liability now.'

'Coz of his sight issue?'

'Yeah I think so, it's all so fucked up Bobby … he says that he's not scared of me but …'

'Yer wondering if that's it and that it's not just the eye problem?'

'Yeah he can barely look at me Bobby and who can blame him? I was the one who did the damage … my hands and no one else's.'

'Dean, boy … Sam's not gonna git better until you do.' Bobby said his voice rising with his own anger, 'you've gotta stop blaming yerself and move on. Sam's not gonna until you do coz he's pickin' up on yer guilt.'

'So what am I supposed to do?' Dean asked his lower lip trembling as tears shone in his eyes, 'I tried to leave but you and the others wouldn't let me, I tried to talk to Sam but he won't listen to me I can't…'

'Can't what? Spit it out Dean you can't what?'

'I can't look at him Bobby,' Dean cried out, 'all I see when I do is my hands, my fists as they pound my brother into a bloody mess.'

'And you expect Sam to deal?' Bobby snapped, 'git over it Dean, you were possessed stop feeling so fucking sorry for yerself and git over it you aint gonna help yer brother until ya do.'

'Wow Bobby … you swore!' Dean breathed as he started to giggle. Slowly the giggles morphed into laughter and then into breath-stealing sobs.

S—D

Pain ricocheted through him, slicing into his muscles and tendons, twisted into the nerves and sinews as blow after blow rained down on him. Blood spurted upwards as the frail, paper thin flesh split.

His breathing stuttered and with his last breathe he gasped out, 'Dean? Why?' But the only answer he received was a deafening silence.

As his blinking slowed everything dulled around him, losing definition and form as everything merged into one dull greyness. 'M'sorry Dean.' Was the last words uttered as everything went dark.

Sam sat up and stared around wildly, his fingers spasmodically clutched at his sweat drenched sheets as he tried desperately to catch his breath and to slow his pounding heart down. 'Dean?' he rasped but there was no sign of his brother or anyone else.

Pushing his sheets away Sam struggled to his feet before lurching out of the bedroom and headed towards the bathroom. Sweat ran down between his shoulder blades causing chills and goose-bumps on his skin.

Blinking furiously and swatting at the sweat and tears Sam dropped to his knees in front of the toilet just as his stomach somersaulted and let fly, hot acidic vomit burnt its way up and out.

S—D

'Sammy?'

Sam slowly registered the sound of his name being called and he tried to lift his head and yell out an answer but his body refused to cooperate. He lay on the floor of the bathroom curled slightly around the toilet, his long body impossibly wedged between the bathroom fittings.

He could remember getting to the toilet just as he started to vomit, each bout was more violent and acidic than the one before leaving him feeling wrung out and exhausted. 'Dean?' he rasped but his voice barely carried to his own ears. Wearily he lowered his head again and laid there waiting for someone to find him.

S—D

'Sammy?' Dean called out frantically as he bounded up the stairs; he had heard the screams as he came back inside with Bobby. The terror Sam's voice held, chilled Dean to his very core but also made his protective streak kick in and all he cared about was helping Sam.

'Sammy where are ya?' he called again as he stood in the middle of the bedroom and stared down at the rumpled, sweat-drenched sheets on the empty bed, 'Sammy?'

Pivoting on the balls of his feet Dean rushed to the bathroom and bashed on the door, 'Sam are you in there?' he waited impatiently for a reply, 'come on dude if you're in there let me know or I'm coming in.'

The faint call for help rang loudly in Dean's ears and he was pushing his way into the small bathroom, 'ahh shit Sammy.'

He found his brother lying on his side cramped in and curled around the toilet, with a shaking hand he checked for a pulse and only let go of his breath when he felt a strong pulse and slow but sure breathes. 'Damn it to hell Sam you're gonna be the death of me,' Dean breathed as he sat back on his heels and tried to work out how to get his brother out of there.

S—D

Three weeks later:

Sam sat in Bobby's study with a large book and notebook spread out in front of him on the large desk, his new glasses still felt strange but at least he no longer had headaches every time he tried to read anything.

Dean worked on the impala during the days and in the evenings they had movie marathons pulling out Bobby's old western videos. The three hunters had fallen into an easy and comfortable way of life but the undercurrent of restlessness was there bubbling away and slowly reaching the surface.

'Caleb rang before,' Bobby said as he placed bowls of steaming hot chilli in front of Sam and Dean, 'he's gotten wind of a hunt in New Mexico … he ahh wants me to join him.'

'Where's Rufus?' Sam asked, the thought of leaving the safety of Bobby's house gave him a headache of migraine proportions.

'He's following a few leads in California,' Bobby looked at each brother, 'I can git someone else if you two want me to…'

'No, no Bobby I – I … Caleb needs … Caleb needs you…' Sam said clearing his throat a little, as he cast a sad look towards his brother, 'we – we need to get back…'

'Sam? You sure?' Dean frowned; he had been itching to get back to hunting and some semblance of normalcy, well as normal as possible in their stuffed up lives.

'Y-Yeah I'm sure it's time,' Sam said taking his glasses off he rubbed his eyes wearily and then gave his brother and "adopted" father a tremulous smile, 'only one way to find out.'

Dean regarded his brother carefully; sure, the bruises and cuts were healing and slowly disappearing, his limp was improving and movement was better but there was still a shadow hanging over him.

Their relationship was improving but still had a way to go but at least his guilt no longer fuelled his thoughts and emotions and he could look at Sam without wanting to throw up or to punch every wall he could find. They were comfortable again, well as comfortable as they could be.

'Dean?' Sam asked again frowning when his brother still didn't answer him, 'why the silent act Dean?'

'Huh?' Dean blinked and looked at his brother and then over at Bobby, 'oh sorry was just thinking is all.'

'Thinking? Is that what they call it these days?' Sam smirked and suddenly Dean felt as though they were really going to be alright again.

S—D

Dean put the last of their bags in the boot of the impala and carefully closed the lid, smiling he turned to Bobby and scrubbed his face with his fingertips, 'so…'

'So … ya take care of each other…'

'Yeah we will Bobby,' Dean said choking up a little, 'Bobby I ahh just wanted to …'

'No chick flicks this early in the morning idjit … if ya need to talk call me anytime.'

'I will Bobby …' Dean said smiling as he gave the gruff hunter a quick hug, 'ahh Sammy you ready to go?'

'Yeah, yeah keep your wrinkles on,' Sam said as he emerged from the house and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder, 'thanks for everything Bobby.'

'Aint nuthin' … you just take care of yerself and this brother of yours.' Bobby said as Sam enveloped him in a giant bear hug.

'I will…' Sam said his voice muffled against Bobby's shoulder, 'thanks for … you know.'

'Yeah I know kiddo, I know.'

Bobby stood watching as the impala disappeared down the driveway and onto the road, as that empty lonely feeling returned deep in his gut and with a shove of his cap, he sighed and headed back inside to pack his own gear. The boys were going to be alright and one thing he knew deep, deep down in his soul that they were his boys in every way that mattered.

S—D

'So Sam?' Dean said as they drove away from Sioux Falls, 'how you doing?'

'M'kay Dean.' Sam answered without looking at his brother, 'honest.'

'We can go back if you want.'

'No, no it's okay Dean … I think work will be good for both of us.' Sam said and finally looked over at Dean, 'how are you doing Dean?'

'I'm fine Sam, just fine,' Dean answered as he stared at the road ahead of them, 'it feels good.'

'What does? Being in the impala back on the road?' Sam asked slightly tilting his head to the side as he regarded Dean with a solemn gaze, 'yeah feels like home, we're home again.'

'You're such a girl Samantha.'

'Yeah well … you're a – a jerk.' Sam said trying to keep a straight face.

'Bitch.' Dean shot back as he reached over to turn the music up slightly and eased his foot down on the accelerator. They were home again.

S—D

High in the sky a shadowy figure glided through the clouds and danced on the wind, it enjoyed casting the dark shadows beneath it, giving a sinister feel to an otherwise beautiful day. It kept its gaze locked on the human vehicle below as it sped along the earth, the metal may carry them but it knew it was only until it was ready for them. The tribute will be in its grasp again very soon and the true order of things will be.

END … For now!