Th1rteen R3asons Why

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

The Whirlwind Lancer

I didn't see Sora in the morning, and normally I wake up to find him snoring loudly in his bed beside mine. The piles of clothes in the corner haven't been fixed and that would most likely bother mom for the rest of the day. I wanted to pick up the Walkman and plug the earphones in my ears, but the fear of hearing her talk about her reasons was enough reason to not listen. Like yesterday, I wore my XIII hoody and dark jeans. As I sprinted downstairs, I dismissed breakfast and told mom that I'd be at Seventh Heaven for the whole day…

…but what I was really planning was to go to the hospital to attempt to converse with a girl Naminé had mentioned: Kairi Seeyan. She was hospitalized for weeks after the incident with Xemnas, and we rarely ever see her in school anymore. Most of her time is spent locked up in a special treatment ward. I think the trauma had gotten to her somehow and was eating her soul. I needed to ask her about…about the school trip – the only event I can recall (or not) from memory that had something to do with Naminé and I.

So, I did truly visit the Seventh Heaven, but only to purchase a cup of hot chocolate. Anything after that, I headed straight for the hospital. To get there, though, I needed to take two buses to get to the station and from there three stops. I took this time to gather up the courage to listen again.

Great, you're still here. This one isn't going to be any better, though so please try and stick in for the ride.

I have never in a million years been reluctant to hear her speak. Her voice was dripping with uncharacteristic sarcasm and if this was the true Naminé, then I guess I was wrong to like her.

You know…I love dragons… I love them to the point of never forgetting them. Ah, dragons, dragons, dragons. Do they remind you of something, Xaldin? I guess that wasn't completely your fault, mainly Axel's, but still, you could've been a little tougher. If you were, I probably would have cut you out from this album, 'cause I would've thought you were nice. But all you were then was a coward and a pushover.

Come on, Naminé, you're killing me. What did he do? What did he do to hurt you?

For those of you who are not clear on this, I got my first tattoo when I was fourteen. Too young, huh? Wait 'til you hear this… Axel and I were awesome friends back when I was still alive. We did everything best friends can do together: skateboarding, drawing, eating sea-salt ice cream, and yet Axel thought there was something missing.

Wait…Axel? Axel as in, mybest friend? He was on this? He's one of the reasons? What? WHAT?

He thought that –

"Hello," a feminine voice greeted me. I punched the PAUSE button so hard the Walkman almost combusted. I hastily tugged the earphones out my ears and glanced up. Short black hair and cobalt blue eyes like Sora's met my gaze. Her pale skin contrasted greatly with her coal hair and her dark clothes were just like mine. She was familiar to me, and yet I didn't even know who she was…

"Hi, um, do I know you?" I asked tentatively. If I did, I didn't want to offend her or anything. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut next time.

However, she only shrugged dismissively and sat herself down next to me. I was going to get off in the next two stops so she had better make this quick. "I do, but you may not remember me," she grinned mischievously. She held out her hand formally. "I'm Xion, and you're Roxas."

I took her hand reluctantly. "At least let me introduce myself next time," I muttered lowly. Having heard, she giggled girlishly. "What?"

"You're just like I remember, always keeping things to yourself," she remarked and retracted her hand. "So…where are you headed?"

Should I tell her? Should I expose this 'secret'? "Oh, I'm just touring the neighborhood," I shrugged, hoping she'd let it pass.

But, of course, no girl ever does. "I've known you since kindergarten, Rox. You've lived here your whole life. I mean the only reason why you should be coming this way is if you're headed for the hospital."

It scared me as to how much she knew about me whilst I knew nothing about her apart from her name… we went to kindergarten together?

The train stopped to let passengers in and out. Next stop would be the final stop. Suddenly, her hand shot out and grabbed the Walkman along with the earphones. I jumped, startled with her quick action. "Wait! Don't!"

"What're you listening to?" she inquired curiously, but the earphones were already in her ears. I made a move to grab them back, but she pressed PLAY and shoved me away rudely. I saw her expression darken. Damn, how rude can she fucking get? Her eyes wandered over to mine in question. "What…what is this?" she gestured to the Walkman. "That was…the Strife girl's voice…"

The train stopped again and I snatched the Walkman quickly before sprinting out the doors. I saw Xion stand to follow but the doors immediately closed in front of her.

The last I saw of her were her haunted eyes.

I walked quickly to the hospital, hoping Kairi was in a conversing mood. Once I got inside the glass doors, it was eerily quiet – not like the other busy hospitals I've been to. There were only a few people in uniform strolling about the corridors signing papers, talking with other doctors and nurses, or pushing along patients in wheelchairs. The receptionist was missing as well.

"Excuse me, young man, how can I help you?" a bearded man with stethoscopes hung around his neck approached me. His black goatee made my chin itch when I looked at it.

I cleared my throat. "I'm looking for Kairi Seeyan. She's my friend." Lie. I've never talked to her in my whole life, only seen her since she hangs around with the popular people.

The doctor nodded twice, contemplating whether I was telling the truth or just another harasser. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Roxas Leonhart, sir," I politely replied. My eyes darted to the clock behind his head and they widened. I only had two hours before I had to go back to Seventh Heaven so that my mom won't find out about this 'escapade'. She normally gets out of work at five and occasionally checks on me (to know if she can continue to trust me and all).

He nodded more times. "Right. Well, Roxas, follow me and I'll give you an hour with Kairi." He smiled lightly and I followed him up the elevator to a mahogany door with Room 30. The doctor knocked gently on the wood and pressed his ear on it. I assumed there was some sort of answer from behind the door because he straightened and opened it for me, his hand directing me into the room. "One hour." He left.

I twisted my head to look forward shoving my hands in my jean pockets. The light from outside illuminated the room beautifully, making the dark blue look almost…cyan. How ironic.

In the middle of the chamber was a red haired girl dressed in a pink shirt with black pants. Her head was bent down low over something – a book? A videogame? I approached her cautiously, so as not to alarm her. Biting my lip, I placed a tentative hand on her shoulder and I felt her nerves jump instantaneously.

"Huh? Who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you here? Oh, my God I need to tell Reeve…Reeve…Intruder!" Kairi gasped in panic. She was shaking all over, her shoulders shuddering as her body convulsed.

I did all I could to calm her. "Kairi, I'm Roxas Leonhart, I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk—no don't—I'm just here to—Kairi, listen! —I need to talk about Naminé Strife." I panted. That got her silenced.

Her lip quivered. "W-What?"

I sighed. "You know, that day in the alley where Xemnas beat you up and then Namine?" She must remember. That's the thing that's eating her, wasn't it?

"H-How do you know that?" she exclaimed, her violet-blue eyes flaring. "No-one was supposed to know!" Tears escaped her eyes.

"Never mind about that. I just want to know about what happened in the school trip. Please, anything about the school trip," I begged. "The one to Twilight Town. I remember something that took place in the forest…" OK, now I'm mostly just talking to myself. There's this moment in the trip that I was sure directly affected Namine and I. Trouble is, I have a bad memory.

Kairi glared. "No way. If you don't remember, what's the use in remembering? It was a horrible thing, anyway…why would you want to remember?" she turned in her seat and set her book down.

"Please," I prodded on. "I have to know. I have to know what I did to her."

"Listen; Roxas, was it?" I nodded. She continued, "How could you forget? You…damn, I can't. I can't say anything. Vani—No-one told me…damn," she cursed quietly.

"Vani? You mean Vanitas?" I prompted in a rush. "He knows? He knows and he hasn't told me?" I glared at her small, thin form. Emaciated, beaten, healed, wounded, scarred…I pitied her and everything that caused her to look so defeated.

I knew I had to leave. If she wouldn't tell me anything, I had to get information from someone else.

I took the train and buses back to Seventh Heaven where Yuffie cheerily greeted me while wiping a glass clean with a cloth. "Las thing you ordered?" she chirped. I nodded. "Hot chocolate, coming your way!"

It irked me as to why she was so happy today, but she's entitled to her own happiness. It's just…it feels weird seeing someone so cheerful…it's like I've forgotten my own happiness. I sigh. I needed to listen more, even if it hurt me to do so.

—we needed to be united in a permanent way…like tattoos. So, one day, he dared me to get one at the parlor. Of course, being the "wimpy" fourteen-year-old girl I was, I told him to go first.

He's a daredevil, you know. He told you to get him two upside down teardrop tattoos underneath his eyes. They were quite small, but they were still visible. You didn't even ask if he was eighteen. I thought you only kept silent because he looked eighteen.

Then I decided to back out at the last minute. What can I say? I get cold feet a lot. Especially during dares.

So, I felt happy when you told Axel you didn't "do" underage people. Axel being Axel, got angry at you and started swearing. He gets so worked up in the smallest of things. Anyway, I'm done ranting on Axel for now. He's for later.

You succumbed. You pulled me onto the table, roughly, mind you, and pierced my arm with that thing. That's why I wear long-sleeved shirts to school all the time. My dad, when he found out, was so ashamed of me that he didn't talk to me for months.

I was alone for months. I couldn't even look Axel in the eye. That tattoo was a permanent symbol of his foolishness.

Not mine.

His.

I hit PAUSE because Yuffie came back with the hot chocolate. "What are you listening to?" she asked as I sipped quietly.

I shook my head afterwards. "Nothing special. Just the oldies and all," I shrugged. "Thanks for the chocolate."

She grinned. "No prob. Anything for Squall's boy."

Cocking my head to the side, I inquired, "You know my dad?"

"Yeah," she nodded enthusiastically. "We used to be police officers together. Fighting crime and saving the world!" she punched a fist in the air. "Those were the days…"

I nodded, as if interested. "Right. Anyway, I better get back to these songs."

"Sure, alright, spiky-dude. Shop's closing in fifteen, though."

I made a note of that.

So every time I sat in the bath, I couldn't help but stare at that tattoo. You chose a flower for me: a forget-me-not. And since then, I've never forgotten. Not even when Marluxia did his stuff, or Larxene, or Zexion. A tattoo is for life, and even if I could remove it, I'd never have the guts to 'cause it's a part of me that sometimes I'm glad is there. Because like I said, it will never leave you.

…

Who's next? Oh, right. Doctor Vexen, hello!

I bid goodbye to Yuffie and headed straight home. On the way I spotted Mr. Strife sitting on a bench in front of his house, staring into space. His blue eyes like Namine's were blank and empty. They scared me. Too familiar.

When I got home, mom told me Hayner was looking for me, and also a girl named Xion.

When and why, all of a sudden, did I get so popular?

A/N: I'm really sorry for this EXTREMELY (x100000000) late update. I apologize for making mistakes as I've more or less abandoned this story up until now so my writing is a little rusty. To be honest, I kind of forgot about this story until about two days ago when Squishy Moogle reviewed :) Thanks for sticking out! Also, the "tracks" are really not as in depth as the actual tapes, but it's because songs are, on average, only three minutes long so I try to make it "realistic" sort of.

Anyways, thank you for reading, and I hope you leave a kind review afterwards. :) I may update twice during the weeks to come as it is the Spring Holidays. WOOHOO! But in May time, I won't be updating as much (if at all) 'cause I have a 50% GCSE exam on Biology. SCARY.