It's a shame this fic is taking a slightly darker turn, because what with recent events on the show I really would like to be writing something a little more gushy. If I get time I'll write a gushy one-shot.

Anyway, sorry this has taken SOOOOO long! I haven't had any time recently at all. But here you go. Better late than never, eh? xx

xoxoxoxo

Ste was curled up on the sofa, feeling exhausted and a bit useless, slumped in front of the TV whilst Brendan sat at the dining table doing some paperwork. It was an hour and a half since Ste had tried to storm off to Amy's, before facing the heartbreaking realisation that he couldn't even cross the street on his own anymore… he couldn't remember his surroundings and nor did he feel safe in them. He and Brendan hadn't really spoken much since; the house was wrapped in silence. Not angry, not uncomfortable… just quiet, as both took a breather from one another following the high emotions of before.

Ste clutched his phone in his palm, awkwardly prodding the buttons the scroll down the countless texts he'd received from Amy over the past few days:

"Ste, gonna pop round with the kids in 5. That ok? A x"

"give me a call and let me know you're okay. A x"

"Ste, u need to get out of house. Lets go cinema? A x"

"Cheryl says u r ok but would be good to see you soon. A x"

"got a call from rodger. Y are you skipping appointments? CALL ME. A x"

"also the kids are missing u. come to the park? A x"

"I'm coming round this evening. We need to talk. A x"

Ste sighed, pushing his phone back into his jean pocket. So she'd heard from Rodger then. She would not be happy about that. And how would Ste explain to her that Brendan had sent him away out of an unjustified sense of jealousy and possessiveness? Amy would go mad. And then how would Ste explain to her that he was safe here with Brendan? If not, a little claustrophobic and concerned about his lovers state of mind.

He cast a look over to Brendan now. He was hunched over his work. He had even more paperwork to do now, since he hadn't actually been to the club for days. He was supposed to start back two days ago, but for some reason he hadn't wanted to leave Ste alone – not even with Cheryl. At first the sentiment had warmed Ste to his very core. But now it made him a little uneasy. Unsettled. He was feeling a heavy pressure in the room… a disturbing sense of imprisonment that he didn't like to stew on. He knew Brendan genuinely wanted to do the best for him, and that was amazing… but he also caught that look in Brendan's eye sometimes… a sort of wild desperation that made Ste nervous.

He didn't know how he could explain any of that to Amy; didn't know if he wanted to. He didn't know how he could address it to Brendan, or if he ever should. He didn't know if he could even admit it to himself.

Things were going too well with Brendan to worry about that sort of thing. Maybe it was all in his head… maybe it was these circumstances putting him on edge. Ste reached into his pocket, bought out three of the blue pills, and threw them all back into his mouth. He was discreet about it, so Brendan didn't see. He was taking too many pills a day, he knew that, but so long as they helped what did it really matter?

He took a long breath, feeling the pills calm him and the blood start to slow around his body. He had been overreacting, hadn't he? As usual.

He pulled himself up and crossed the room to where Brendan was, and wrapped his arms tenderly around him, linking his hands at Brendan's chest, pressing his nose lightly into the back of Brendan's head.

"Oh." Brendan muttered dryly. "Are we friends again, then?"

"Mm-hm."

"Makes a nice change."

Ste couldn't tell whether the sulky edge to Brendan's voice was there for humour purposes, or whether it was genuine. Still, it made him smile either way.

"Bren?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Lets go out."

For the first time, Brendan stopped his work. He put his pen down carefully on the table and let the silence drag on for a moment or two as he stewed over Stephen's words.

"You sure about that?"

"Amy keeps naggin' me to leave the house. Probably should go somewhere… jus' to shut her up."

"Stephen, ye can't let Amy force ye to do anythin' you don't want to do."

"It's alright. If we go together."

"You're not ready."

"Well we don't know do we, till we try?" Ste said with a grin, and moved himself round to Brendan's front at last so he could make eye-contact.

Only to find that Brendan wasn't smiling… at all.

In fact he looked furious.

"What's up?" Ste asked quietly.

"What else has Amy been sayin' about me?"

Ste frowned. "About you? Nothin'."

"Yeah right."

"What? She hasn't. I told her you've been dead good."

"So why all the harassing then?"

"Cos that's what Amy's like!" Ste sighed, exasperated. "She's me mate, ain't she? She's thinks it's her right to pester us."

He caught the flash of annoyance that crossed Brendan's eye; the millisecond of defensive anger that was reminiscent of the early days, when Amy knew their secret. Ste didn't like that look. Never did.

"I mean, me." He corrected himself quickly. "She's allowed to pester me."

Still, Brendan didn't seem happy. Ste would have given anything in that moment for Brendan to flash him a smile, to takes Ste's hand from where it sat comfortably on Brendan's shoulder and to squeeze it. But he didn't. Instead he felt tense under Ste's touch. Irritated. Shit. He should never have said anything.

"Look, I'm sorry." Ste muttered. "Forget I said anything. We'll stay here."

"We'll do whatever you want, Stephen." Brendan sighed. But it didn't sound as sweet a sentiment that Ste might have liked it to. To him it sounded underlined with annoyance and exhaustion. Christ, was Brendan tiring of him already? Was he being too needy? He was, wasn't he? What was he thinking? Brendan was working; he couldn't just drop everything at the click of Ste's stupid fingers.

"No, it's fine." Ste insisted immediately. "I wanna stay here. You carry on."

"I'm done." Brendan said abruptly. He sighed and slammed the paperwork hard down onto the table. "I'm all yours."

But Ste felt ashamed now, and foolish. He didn't want to be like this; behaving like a little kid in need of constant attention. He stood awkwardly in front of Brendan, eyes down on the ground.

"Hey… What's up?" Brendans voice had adopted a softer tone again… the same one that Ste had become more accustomed to of late, and had grown to expect.

And then Brendan's fingers were resting lightly on Ste's chin, as he tilted Ste's head to meet his eye-line. His fiercely blue eyes, which right now shone at Ste with concern and a deep irresistible intensity. God, Ste loved those eyes. They did crazy things to him.

He allowed himself a tiny smile. "What shall we do then? Instead of going out?"

"Hm." Brendan smiled back. At last. "I can think of a fair few things."

He pulled Stephen against him so they were chest to chest, stomach to stomach, groin to groin. And he felt Stephen harden immediately at the contact. It was an immediate reaction he could get from him… one that he relished in.

"I'll text Amy." Ste muttered croakily, "Tell 'er not to bother tonight."

"You do that."

"An' I'll meet you in the bedroom." He added, with the impish grin he always wore when discussing something he considered mildly 'crude'.

"I'll make sure of it." Brendan growled.

And with that Ste retreated back to the sofa, texted a few dismissive words to Amy about being 'busy', and the idea of leaving the flat was once again forgotten.

XOXOXOXOXX

Brendan could hardly sleep that night. He would drift off and would feel the beginnings of dreams coming along, and then all at once he'd be back in consciousness, his heart hammering and head throbbing as he tried to work out what it was that was stirring him out of his bliss.

On another night he might have blamed Stephen, and the fact that his head was pushing uncomfortably into Brendan's collar-bone… but he knew that wasn't the case. He'd gotten used to Stephen falling asleep in this position by now, and it had not been so much of a problem before.

He rest his nose against the top of Stephens head and forced his eyes closed again, listening to the repetitive sounds of the clock and of Stephens breathing to pull him back into a rhythmic dreamland.

… only to wake again twenty minutes later in a cold hard sweat.

And this time he could identify why.

Visions clouded and screamed through his head; a man shouting… a wrinkled hand squeezing into a tightened fist… Stephen's head hitting the ground… a hospital monitor… a damp wall… a sharp rope… a bitter laugh… queer … Stephen... his head wrapped in bandages and chest covered in blood and bruises… Stephen gasping, barely breathing, turning away from Brendan and rejecting his help… an old man choking… feet lifting from the floor…

Brendan grabbed hold of the clock from the side. It was slightly dented at the side from where Stephen had slammed it down so furiously just hours before.

4:42am.

He glanced at Stephen now, but he was still wrapped in a tender sleep; undisturbed by Brendans trembling body. And Christ, he really was trembling as well. His naked flesh felt freezing but was covered in a vicious sweat.

Shit.

He pulled himself out of bed immediately, grabbing at his trousers as the images from his nightmare screamed through his head. Shit, shit, shit. How could he be so fucking stupid?

"Bren?"

Shit.

Stephen's tired mumble sounded muffled from beneath the mass of duvet that covered him. But his face peered round, eyeing Brendan with concern.

"What are you doin'?"

"Just gotta go out for a while. Work."

"Work? It's the middle of the night."

"I know." Brendan muttered, hoping his voice didn't sound as shaky as it felt. Christ, he'd really dropped the ball hadn't he? How had he allowed himself to become so off-guard? "I got some un-finished business I forgot. It's got to be done before tomorrow."

"So you're goin' out?"

"That's what I SAID didn't I?" Brendan snapped.

Stephen silenced immediately. Brendan was freaking Stephen out; he could tell. SHIT.

"Look," he sighed, trying to keep his voice even and keep his hands from shaking as he pulled a shirt over his head. "It's just some business deals. I completely forgot them."

"Okay."

But Stephen didn't sound convinced. His voice was small and unsure. Was he scared? Brendan didn't want to scare him… that's why he GOT into this mess in the first place…

"Don't worry." He breathed, "I'll be back. I won't be long."

"I said okay."

"Don't wait up for me." Brendan muttered, seizing his keys and his phone from the side.

"Alright."

"I won't be long…"

"Brendan, you said that."

Brendan turned back to look at Stephen. He was sat up now, his eyes glimmering in the darkness with worry and suspicion and fear. But Brendan didn't have time to stay any longer and console him. In fact he hardly had time at all…. Without looking back, he ran from the house and towards his car…

He ran to deal with something he should have dealt with long before now…

XOXOXOXOX

Really hope this chapter isn't too ambiguous. All will become clear.