Lonely
If anyone asked her if she ever got lonely living by herself with no one else, she would shake her head and smile. No, she liked to live alone, not having a partner or a child to look after, she would tell them. It was easier in this job, not to have someone relying on you. Not having to explain to someone why you were in a horrible mood or just wanted to be left alone.
Even in the cases where it was nice to go home to a loved one, to let them de-stress you, she had other members of the relief that would go down the pub with her, until they were able to leave without those feelings of being down shadowing them constantly.
Being alone meant never having to share the TV, eating whatever she felt like, leaving the house in a mess if she wanted and being free to do as she pleased.
Yet, contrary what she told everyone else, sometimes - perhaps once or twice a month - she would wonder what it would be like to have someone else there, to talk, laugh with, and snuggle up to.