My mom sat on my bed with me, but it felt like she was a million miles away. I was still reeling from what my dad said. After what seemed like hours, my mom's hand reached over and covered my own. We turned to each other, both of us with tears in our eyes. I wanted my mother to hold me, tell me that everything was going to be ok, tell me that dad didn't mean what he said. Instead all I got was her hand covering my own and silence.
"Payson do you know why your father was so upset?" I shook my head no in reply. "You knew that your father and I were high school sweethearts, right?" I nodded in ascent. "When we went to senior prom, your father and I" I interrupted her "Mom please no, I don't want to hear about you and dad." "Payson you need to hear what I am about to say, your father and I made love on prom night for the first time." I cringed as my mother said those words. "We used protection, but I still got pregnant. Your father never forgave himself for that, and what came next." "About a month later I had a miscarriage."
I barely heard the word miscarriage as my mother whispered it. Tears were now flowing freely from my mother's face. For some reason without thinking my hand tightened around my mother's. "Your father blamed himself for all of it, the pregnancy, my parent's reaction to the pregnancy, and the miscarriage." I myself started to tear up listening to my mother's story. "Payson did you even consider what would happen if you got pregnant? What would happen with your Olympic dreams?"
The last two questions had me looking down at my comforter. I did make sure we took all the precautions, I was on birth control and Rigo used a condom. In answer to my mother's question I actually didn't think about becoming pregnant. Rigo made the night so romantic, and I wanted to give myself to him, all of myself. He did so much for me, I truly believed he loved me. I know I loved Rigo as well, and that was why I shared that night with him.
I turned to my mother and looked her in the eyes. "Your right mom, I wasn't thinking, but I love Rigo so much." "I know sweetheart, but you must think of the consequences of your actions. You are so close to the Olympics, do you really want to risk that." The truth was that I didn't. "No mom, I'm not willing to risk that for anything." "Good remember that the next time you and Rigo are out together." "Like that will ever happen, dad has me caged like an animal."
"Payson your dad has his reasons. You yourself admitted that you didn't think about the consequences. One of the things that scares me the most is what would happen if you went through what I had to go through. Between what gymnastics has done to your body, and what happened to me when I was pregnant, you have a very high chance of having a miscarriage. I never want you to go through that!" Truth was I hadn't thought about that either. My mother had now completely broken down, sobbing all over my comforter. I grabbed her in a hug and we both lost it.
What would've happened if I got pregnant. I could barely talk to my parents about sex, what if I had to come home and tell them I was pregnant. I guess I wasn't ready for sex. There was also the fact that my body wasn't ready to carry a baby. With the experience my mother had, there was no question in my mind that I would also miscarry. I definitely wasn't ready for that.
My mind continued to go at 100 miles per hour. Mom and I were holding on to each other like our lives depended upon it. A few hours later my eyes open to the whisper of my mother saying I love you, and then she was gone, and darkness consumed me again.
AN: Remember that tonight is the finale of Make it or Break it. Please watch it live to get ratings the show needs. That's the only thing that will change the minds of ABCFamily's executives. Also please leave a review of whether or not you want me to continue this story. I'm not sure there is any interest.