Trouble seems to follow me wherever I go. I wish that I never tried to slap him at all. I know that I wasn't really thinking straight because of all the emotions that I was feeling at the time. I felt like my heart and soul knew this man and he had rejected me. I guess that I will never be good enough for anyone. In his defense, I did try to slap him.
Jake keeps trying to contact me and I never answer him. I can't -no won't ever show my face in La Push again. I don't want a repeat of the other night. I could still remember the burn from his skin touching mine. The way his fingers were digging into my wrist, and the pain that started to radiate from my arm. I started to shiver from just thinking about it. Charlie doesn't know why exactly I haven't been back to see Jake, but I think he suspects that it has to do something with Sam's gang because of the "fight" that I had with my former best friend, Embry. Oh how right he is.
I haven't seen or heard from the "gang" since the bonfire but I can't help but hope to see Paul again. Since I last saw him, I haven't been able to get him out of my mind. The fact that he looks like a sex god is really not helping me. When I drive to and from school I sometimes find myself unconsciously driving straight for La Push. It's a string that is constantly pulling and releasing me. I feel the pull right outside my house at night, I feel it outside of my classroom, I feel it when I take a walk in the forest outside my house, I feel it all of the time and in so many different places. There is a dull ache in my chest all the time and it hurts so much. It feels like a minor panic attack.
The only way, I found, to alleviate the pain is to exhaust myself so that I won't have nightmares when I have to go to sleep at night. Thus, making hiking my outlet of choice and suffice it to say that I was very wrong in doing this. I somehow thought that since I had never really met the Cullens then that would mean that I really never met Victoria, James, and/or Laurent, and I didn't, yet.
I was thinking that since I am now in a vampire free environment then that would mean that it would be safe to explore and find the meadow that Edward showed me before everything that happened. Oh how wrong I was in my thinking.
I was walking, just minding my own business, looking down at the ground because I didn't want to trip and fall over something. There was a particular root in the ground that was taunting me and was about go around it when I got that feeling that someone is watching you. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and my heart beat started to pick up the pace. I felt the urge to run or hide. The only other time that I got that feeling was when I was around human drinkers. I confess that running wasn't the best choice for me, but I wasn't in my right mind at the time. I started to run deeper into the dense part of the forest hoping that it would slow them down at least a little. I kept going jumping and ducking when necessary, and I tried to pick of the pace. When I attempted to do that I lost my balance when my foot got stuck underneath an upended root that I didn't see in the ground. I felt the ankle on my left foot twist and snap then I hit the ground hard. I landed on my side because of my immovable foot and my left arm took all the weight of the impact. That wasn't good. It was very painful and I was used to pain, my arm was broken, again.
Now I am alone in the middle of the woods, lost, hurt, and running away from my imagination, at least I hope that I imagined them.
I couldn't move and I just gave up and let my body relax down on the forest floor amongst the leaves and debris, just willing the pain in my arm and leg to go away. I felt some ants starting to crawl onto my face and just sighed.
I think that I must have faded out because I came to with a start when I heard the noise of twigs breaking and leaves rustling. I felt someone's fingers running over my skin and I got goose bumps. There weren't the cold fingers that I feared; they were the hot fingers that I only felt in my dreams.
"Paul…" I mumbled but I had a feeling that he could hear me.
"What are you doing out here on the ground? Come one get up!"
He pulled me by the arms and I screamed when I felt the bones in my arm rub against each other and the bone in my ankles break through skin.
"Ahhhh!; don't touch me! Just don't….please." I exclaimed as I saw that he was going to try to "help" me again.
I tried to move my head to look at him fully in the face and the dark look that he had didn't put me at ease, not at all. He looked angry and he was literally vibrating. I wonder if there is some type of genetic disorder that only the native tribe can contract. Spastic seizures. Say that five times fast. Okay, try to focus:
"I need to go to the hospital, can you please just call Charlie for me." I said through gritted teeth.
"I don't have a phone and I am not going to leave you out here alone." There goes that idea.
"What are you doing out here anyways? I am not in La Push." It came out more like an accusation then a question.
"None of your business. Do you want my help or not?" Damn it, why does this always happen to me? I know I wanted to see him again but not like this where I would be forced to take his help and give my undying gratitude. Yeah, like that is ever going to happen.
"Yes, please." I tried to say it with as much dignity as I could.
This time when he leant down, to pick me up, he was much more mindful of my injuries. He pulled my foot out so gently that I didn't even feel him do it.
When he pulled me against his chest I felt that he want even wearing a shirt. I peeked down to see if he was wearing anything else, and I let out a sigh when I saw that he was wearing cutoffs. I don't know if I sighed because I felt relieved or if it was because I was disappointed.
When he started to walk, I could feel the jarring with each step and I started to see white spots in my vision.
"Hey, are you still awake?" I heard Paul say in the distance.
I felt a warm hand cup my cheek and stroke it gently before I let the darkness take over…