Sasha waited for Kim to leave before turning back to Payson. When he looked into my eyes I can tell he saw the fear in them. I was only afraid of Sasha three times in my life. The first was when I went behind his back to get petitioned onto the national team. The second was when he pushed me away when I kissed him. The third time, was well now. Sasha was aware that I had had sex when I was supposed to be training for the Olympics, and he wanted to talk to me alone.
"Sasha" again a hand went up to stop me. "Payson I'm not here to lecture you about sex, I want to talk to you about your panic attack. I want to talk to you about my panic attack. Right after the Olympic Trials, I was alone packing for my trip to the Olympics. As I was packing I started to think about what I was ahead of me. All the people who worked so hard to get me where I was. What would happen if I let them all down? What would happen if I let my coach down. Nicolai who sacrificed everything for me."
"Back then I didn't have any friends, at least none that I wasn't competing against. Nicolai had done so much for me, I didn't want to burden him with this. So I went to the only other person who loved me unconditionally, my mother's grave. I sat at her grave and just talked it out. I cried, and got the release that I needed. Plus I convinced myself that my mother was wishing me luck when I was there."
"Payson I know that you like to bottle stuff up inside. I need you not to. You are the best gymnast this country has, and your floor is without question the best in the world, but only if you let your emotions flow through you when you perform. Thats when you are most beautiful, and the judges and world will see that. If you need to lean on someone, lean on me. Please Payson use me, I'm your coach and your partner. We'll get through the Olympics together, and then you can write that book and dedicate it to me. Just please lean on me. Besides I want my gold medal back."
"Your visit to your mom's grave, that wasn't in your book." Sasha nodded his head. "You never told anyone about visiting your mother, did you?" Again he nodded his head. "Fine." "You'll lean on me?" "You've helped me through everything else, I trust you Sasha, I trust you with my life." Sasha nodded his head "thank you Payson."
I still will have trouble opening up, but talking to Sasha about my feelings somehow seemed right. He had been through everything with me, and he had already been through the Olympics. There was no one better to guide her through this time. Sure Coach Mac was a good coach, but Sasha was my coach, my partner. Sasha brought me further then I ever knew was possible, and he would do it one more time, at the Olympics.
"You ready to go back home, and then head to the Training Center?" "Yeah I guess it is time to go, after all I need to be back for training." Sasha gave me a quick grin, and then we both headed out to my Mom's car.
AN: This will probably be the last chapter unless anyone is still reading this. I'm hoping to work on my other Make it or Break it story more, as I find it easier to write. Also I have another idea for a story that I may start soon.