Another review… So, I'll probably make these shorter to preserve quality. Please review even more! Your Criticism/Praise helps!

3990 BCE, Crete.

1000 years was a long time. She had been stuck on a small island with nothing but wine since 5000 BCE, life was lonely, but fun. Until she ran out of wine. Then all hell broke loose. Minoa began to wonder how she died of alcohol withdrawal yet.

She was the great Minoa. A relatively small island in the middle of hundreds of other small islands.

The days were excruciatingly long. Her small life was boring, having no one to talk to. There was the occasional resident, but they often got drunk and fainted in cargo ships headed for who knows where. The few people that stopped by, never stopped to talk, eat, or play.

Sometime, in 3000 BCE, she finally cracked and started drinking. A lot. So much, that she began to forget what year it was.

Then one day, she ran out of grapes. There was a mass panic on the islands, with her and a few other drunks that left, boarding a ship with Guatemala on it. Where that was, they had no idea.

Minoa declared maximum emergency status, which would have done something, if anyone else was on the island.

When the last person had left, she crawled into a corner and began sucking her wine stained robes.

One thousand years later, at 2900 BCE a small ship painted red came.

There were no dock workers, save one, who was sleeping, with a sign on him that said; DO NOT WAKE UP UNTIL WINE IS REPLENISHED.
The ship crashed into the docks, tearing down all the wood, but the worker did not stir.

A young boy got out of the ship, and examined the damage he had done. The other son the ship asked to come, but he motioned for the others on the ship to stay put.

"What the hell happened here?" The trader wondered.

He explored the small island, walking throughout the wonderful scenery, examining Minoan art at it's finest. Then again, it had been 1000 years since she last updated the architecture so…

Phoenicia came to a small building, that ha the sign TOWN HALL on it. He entered, and saw a small girl cowering.

'T-t-t-t-t-t" She slurped her robes, licking them.

"Who are you?" Phoenicia asked.

"Wine! NEED ALCOHOL!" She cried out. She instantly grabbed The trader's shirt.

"How long have you been like this! This ain't healthy!"

"Graaaah…"

The trader paused to look at her. Perhaps she hadn't looked outside.

"Isn't grapes… like plants?" Phoenicia asked.

"Y-y-yeah…" Her knees were shivering rapidly.

"Don't they like… grow back?" He deducted.

"They haven't grown since 1000 years ago!"

The trader sighed. "I just traded all the grapes for a fresh supply of barley."

"Mix it."

"What?"

"Do it! NOW!" She had a crazed smile on her face, the smile that read insanity, and an Idea.

One hour later.

Phoenicia tasted the strange drink he created. It tasted terribly bitter, but he gulped the drink down. Strangely, even though it tasted horribly bitter, he wanted more. He looked at Minoa, who drank it down in one gulp. Her reaction was instant.

"Oh, HELL YEAH!"

And thus, Beer was created. And it was good.

I didn't scar this one!