Sorry I missed Monday's update! My beta was very busy and couldn't get to editing this until yesterday. Our bad.

On a related note, how much would you all hate me if I decreased the updates to one a week? I'm not writing as fast as I'm updating right now... I have chapter 9 done and 10 partly done, but after that I'll be writing each chapter fresh. I dunno if I can keep up the two-a-week schedule when I run out of buffer. Thoughts?

Please enjoy, even though it's late. And please review!

beta: Icescim

The Philosophy of Self

Chapter Eight

He was sick, after Kakashi had finally gotten him back to the diplomatic building. He'd managed to keep himself together enough that it wasn't until the Copy Ninja had left that he'd collapsed over the toilet, heaving wretchedly. He vomited until he was only bringing up bile, but the churning of his stomach continued even after he'd stopped retching.

Uchiha Itachi.

That was his name. The name of a murderer.

He was Uchiha Itachi. He killed the Uchiha Clan, even the children, even the elderly. All except Sasuke… Sasuke, who was his… brother?

He had a name, but he hardly had his memories. Only a few, broken, bitter remnants rattled around his useless head.

He didn't know what to do. He'd thought before of trying to persuade them that he'd been the one to kill the Uchiha Clan, but hadn't believed that would work. The fact that he now had a name to put to himself didn't change matters. The problem was still there: They thought he was Sasuke. All the evidence pointed to it. His amnesia was a hurdle that let them dismiss any argument he might make, as well as one that didn't let him even formulate an argument.

'I am Uchiha Itachi.'

'Oh? So why do you look like Sasuke? Why does your DNA match his?'

'I don't know.'

'Alright, then, can you provide proof that you're Itachi? Maybe something you know that only Itachi would know?'

'I don't remember.'

Yes, that would be a fine show of rhetoric.

His lip curled contemptuously at himself. What could he do? He'd already determined he couldn't become Sasuke. He could, however, try to regain more of his memories, enough so that he could make a respectable argument for who he was.

Or he could manipulate things so that they punished him for what he'd done without even knowing it. Maybe he would even engineer his own execution.

Because that worked so well last time.

He twitched at the miniscule whisper of thought, hearing the words but not knowing or understanding what was behind them. Once again, the memories slipped away from him when he reached for them.

A flicker of weakness, and his control lapsed. With frustration putting a grimace on his face, Uchiha—Itachi—hauled back and punched the wall beside him.

A knuckle popped, but the wall faired worse—a neat imprint of the knuckles of his first two fingers pressed into the plaster, and a web of fine cracks haloed the impact site. A bit of dust from the plaster and the rock behind it sifted down to the floor.

He was Uchiha Itachi, but who was Uchiha Itachi?

Kakashi came the next day as well; Sakura was apparently immersed in cleaning up the aftermath of the emergency at the hospital. Uchi—Itachi asked immediately if they could go out into the Village.

"Is there somewhere specific you want to go?" Kakashi asked. He gave the damaged wall only a brief glance before dismissing it. Probably, they'd expected him to react to his situation in some way, and accepted the cracked plaster as collateral.

"No," Itachi replied. If they weren't going to mention, neither was he. "I merely think that it might aid my memory if I see the Village I once lived in."

Kakashi hummed a vague agreement, and they left.

The Copy Ninja seemed just as disinterested in his glorified babysitting duty as he had the day before, but Itachi had a feeling that the older shinobi was watching him closely. Because of his instincts, it made him a bit uneasy, but it also kindled the small (perhaps irrational) hope that Kakashi might see something to tip him off as to 'Uchiha-san's real identity.

Without a real destination in mind, Itachi simply started walking once they were on the street. Some of the things and places he passed by were familiar in a vague sort of way, but mostly he couldn't call up a specific memory. Every once in a while a snippet of remembered speech came back to him.

He was struck the hardest when they passed by the headquarters for the Konoha Keimu Butai. He stopped before it. It was obviously still in use, and still housed the police force. They must have reformed the group after the Uchiha Massacre, since the majority of the force had been of that clan.

Itachi gazed up at the building; it looked just the same as the last time he'd seen it. It even still had the same emblem, of the Uchiha crest embedded within a shuriken.

Why does the police force have our house symbol?

It's said that the man who started the police force was our ancestor…

"The Konoha Keimu Butai," Itachi murmured. Kakashi stepped up beside him, and, following his line of sight, said:

"They had to rebuild the force nearly from scratch; there were only a few non-Uchiha members before the massacre. But once it was rebuilt, they decided to keep the old emblem, with its included Uchiha fan, to honor the dead Clan."

They didn't give us the Keimu Butai to honor us; they gave it to us to keep us leashed! They want the Clan to be trained dogs!

Itachi flinched, turning his face away from the building and from Kakashi. Not that that helped. Kakashi was a ninja, and a very good one. He noticed Itachi's reaction immediately. "Problem?" he asked, with every appearance of nonchalance.

Itachi closed his eyes, said, quietly: "I know you're watching me just as sharply as the ANBU. You can stop pretending."

Before Kakashi could respond to that, Itachi opened his eyes and looked up. "I was remembering my father. It was not a fond memory."

Kakashi met his eyes wordlessly, with a direct, solemn gaze. The Copy Ninja hadn't dropped his affected indifference, even though Itachi had made known his awareness of the façade. Though, truthfully, Itachi hardly expected him to. Still, he imagined he could see the gears turning away behind Kakashi's veiled gaze.

Sakura felt a little bad about essentially abandoning Uchiha-san, though it wasn't really her fault. She'd spent the whole first day in surgery, trying to patch together the Team that had had some sort of unfortunate encounter with a nukenin. The day after that, she'd been convalescing, regaining her chakra (which had been all but drained) and her strength (which had been sorely tried). The third day… Well, perhaps the third day was partly her fault. She could have delegated the reports to one of her coworkers—Shizune, for instance—but instead she'd spent half the day writing them up. She had sent Kakashi-sensei to deal with Uchiha-san the last two days, though, so maybe she shouldn't feel too guilty?

:If he was acting as arrogant and…and idiotic as before, I wouldn't feel as bad. But no, he's got to be all polite and confused.: Sakura thought grumpily as she brought her reports in to Tsunade's office. :And even though Kakashi is there, it was still my mission to help Uchiha-san regain his memories. I feel like I abandoned it.:

"Ah, Sakura," Tsunade's voice brought Sakura's attention back to the present. "I was hoping you'd stop by today."

"I brought the reports from the hospitalization of Team Wakamiya," Sakura said, hoisting them in one hand. Tsunade grimaced, lifting them from her.

"Give me a summary," the Hokage said. As both a med-nin and the Hokage of the injured ninja, Tsunade didn't want to wait until she got a chance to review the reports to know how they were doing.

"Jounin leader Wakamiya Raku and Tokubetsu Jounin Arashima Jouba are still in critical condition, but they've been stable through the night," Sakura said. "Chuunin Umiya Asahi is the best off of all them; he regained consciousness yesterday and, pending the results of his tests, he may be released as soon as tomorrow. Shizune thinks that they might need to amputate Chuunin Kazeyama Aobo's left leg after all, which isn't really surprising considering how little we had to work with for the reattachment."

"I see," Tsunade said. She thought for a while. "Shizune will be in charge of that. I want you back with the Uchiha."

Sakura hid a scowl. "Yes, Shishou."

"How has it been going, so far?"

"Alright, I think," Sakura sighed. "He seems to be regaining memories pretty regularly. He doesn't really share them, though. And he still…"

"Yes?" Tsunade prompted when Sakura didn't go on.

"Nothing, nevermind," the younger kunoichi said. :He still doesn't act like Sasuke.:

"Hm," the Hokage hummed thoughtfully. "Well, Kakashi brought him to the Uchiha Compound yesterday, so—"

"Kakashi-sensei did what?" Sakura sputtered. "The Compound? Is he… is… Did anything happen?"

"Sasuke collapsed, or near enough. He definitely remembered something. Kakashi also reported that Sasuke asked him who killed the Uchiha."

"He told him?"

"He told him."

"What did Sasuke do?"

"Apparently nothing. Once Sasuke could stand, he apparently went back to the diplomatic building quietly." Tsunade shrugged.

"So, does he… Does he remember killing Itachi?"

"He may or he may not. He gave no outward sign, and nobody asked."

"Oh," Sakura said. And then, nervously: "You, er… You don't want me to ask, do you?"

"Maybe not so bluntly. Perhaps try to approach the subject obliquely."

"Yes, Shishou."

"Cheer up, Sakura. Only three more days until the trial." There was a definite note of irony in Tsunade's voice.

"Oh, fantastic," Sakura grumbled.

"It could be worse," the Hokage reminded her. "The Council had been making a lot of noise about how dangerous Sasuke is, even without his memories. They're trying to force my hand, to make me seal away his chakra permanently, before the trial."

"What? But then… why are we even having the trial? It sounds like they've already made up their minds as to his guilt!"

"Yes. There was even one who was calling for me to cut out his tongue, so that he couldn't 'perpetuate the lies Orochimaru has fed him.'"

Sakura felt a chill of dread. "No…"

"You may want to tell your Teammates that if they want Sasuke to survive his trial they might want to start thinking of some damn good arguments now," Tsunade warned grimly. "I'll do what I can, but the Council does have the power to overrule me, if they're unanimous."

"Do you really think they might execute him?" Sakura asked, uneasily.

"I think that they're very afraid of him. More so than I originally believed. And I think that makes them unpredictable," Tsunade sighed and looked out her window. "You told me that Sasuke had professed to two ambitions when he was younger: to kill his brother and to reestablish his clan. He'd accomplished the first. Maybe he was trying to come back to Konoha to start on the second when you all found him."

:I hope so,: Sakura thought, but she said nothing out loud.

It took an hour and seventeen minutes, and a few pointing fingers, for Sakura to find Kakashi and Uchiha after Tsunade had dismissed her. She hoped that Kakashi had had more luck in inspiring memory-recollection in Uchiha-san than she had. She suspected he probably had, considering he'd taken Sasuke to the Uchiha Compound. What other location would provoke a stronger reaction than where he'd seen his entire family slain at the hands of his older brother?

She found them on the wooden bridge that spanned the Naka River. Sasuke had his hands on the rail as he stared into the rushing waters below, and Kakashi was watching him. She landed lightly beside her former-teacher and exchanged nods of greeting with him before stepping up to Sasuke.

"Sakura-san," he said quietly. "Good afternoon."

Was it mad of her think he sounded relieved? Her brow furrowed imperceptibly, and she paused before replying: "Uchiha-san. I apologize for the last few days. I hope you don't mind that I sent Kakashi-san to you?"

"No," he said; his eyes returned to the river. "It was fine."

Sakura tried to gauge the sincerity of his reply, but it was near impossible with his carefully weighed tone. With a mental shrug, she turned to Kakashi, still standing behind them. "Sorry for making you take over for me, Kakashi-sensei. If you have to leave, you can. I'm back as escort."

"Mm," Kakashi said lazily. He glanced at the sun's position. "I suppose I should probably be at that meeting. It was supposed to be at noon."

It was a few hours past noon. Sakura gave her wristwatch an incredulous look. She opened her mouth to scold Kakashi, but when she looked back, he'd already disappeared. She snorted softly. "Typical sensei."

Shaking her head a bit, she looked back to Uchiha-san. He hadn't lifted his gaze from the water.

Rather abruptly, he asked: "What river is this?"

Sakura blinked. "Ah. The, um, Naka River."

"I see." His gaze was rather darkly blank as he continued to watch the current flow under the bridge. "The Naka."

Sakura looked at him curiously, but he didn't elaborate. She waited to see if he'd say anything more, but after a long few minutes of silence, it became apparent he wouldn't.

Staring at the water herself, Sakura broke the silence. "I… told you that you're going to be put on trial, but… I never told you when that trial would be. I'm sorry. And then I was gone, and you lost even more time, and I'm sorry. Now there's only three days until the trial. I should have told you earlier."

Uchiha finally stirred. "When I first became aware of the trial, I determined to regain as much of my memory as possible. I've been working toward that, even in your absence. Knowing when the trial is would not have changed anything I've done in the last three days. There's nothing to apologize for."

"But you still don't even remember who you are!" Sakura protested. "How is it right to put you on trial when you can't even defend yourself? It's not—"

And, abruptly realizing what she was saying and to whom, Sakura shut her mouth and turned her face away. Jaw clenched, she berated herself mentally over her idiotic tender heart.

"Compassion," Uchiha-san said, softly, "is never a foolish thing. Not even when it is directed toward enemies."

Sakura felt a little chill at how easily he seemed to read her. But what really bothered her, what made her turn and stare with a furrowed brow at his face, was how at odds his words, his tone, were. That was not something the hate-filled, revenge-obsessed Sasuke that she remembered would say.

Looking into his dark eyes, Sakura felt a slight stirring of doubt.