I am breaking my own rule by posting this early instead of replying to your reviews first; I hope it's worth the trade-off.

Disclaimer: I own everything but their names.

July 17, 2001 – Santa Cruz, California

I'd never really been a morning person before my surf lessons, but lately I'd found that the incentive of catching some waves with Edward greatly influenced the fact that I didn't hit my snooze button so often. So when six o' clock came and went, and seven inched its way onto my watch, I was confused.

Edward was usually here by now.

I looked out the window, first left and then right, and then sighed as I sat down heavily on the couch. Crossing my arms over my chest, I wondered what was going on?

Seven fifteen.

Seven twenty…

Seven twenty-three…

Still no Edward.

Curling my hands into fists, I checked the clock one more time: seven forty-five. And that's when it hit me.

He really was angry for some reason. And he wasn't late.

He just wasn't coming.

My stomach felt sick. All mixed up, just like the rest of me. My head, my heart… everything was filled with confusion.

I'd had a great time at the bonfire, but I really looked forward to seeing Edward this morning. After yesterday's success I was anxious about getting back out on the water and trying again.

I stared at the clock on the wall. Charlie's keys hung beside it, and I swear they were calling my name. He wouldn't be leaving for work for at least another few hours; I had plenty of time.

But did I have the guts?

Heck yes, I did.

Without another thought, I stood up, grabbed the keys and left. I had to know why.

That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach still hadn't disappeared when I got to the beach. Somehow, I knew he'd be there. His snub was intentional. What I didn't understand was why?

Just after eight, I pulled into the parking lot and stared. And of course… there it was: his Jeep, parked in the usual spot.

Tears burned in my eyes as I pulled into the parking space next to it and climbed out of the car.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I walked closer to the edge of the beach and looked out at the water. Edward was hard to miss in any light, but especially in the morning. The early sunlight shone on his coppery colored hair, making him stand out amongst the small group of surfers gathered in the water by now.

My chest burned with the pain of knowing he was out there without me. I hated it. I wanted to be by his side like I had been for weeks…

The tears I had been trying so hard not to let fall broke free, and I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the flow. I had no idea what to do next.

When I'd left the house, I was sure I could do it, that I could confront him… but now that I was here, I wondered if I shouldn't just go home and pretend it didn't matter.

It did matter though, damn it. And he had to know he'd hurt me. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted him to feel crappy, too.

Kicking off my shoes, I stepped on to the cool sand. I walked with purpose toward the water, watching as Edward grabbed a ride and stood up on his board, looking all perfect and handsome and wet… and god damn I couldn't even enjoy it like I wanted to.

The closer he got, the more my heart clenched. More than the hurt though… was the anger. How could he?

When he finally emerged from the water I hoped he could see the fire in my eyes, but as usual, he gave me nothing. Without even sparing me a glance, he tossed his board on to the sand and bent to pick up his towel.

"I waited for you this morning," I said.

"Why?" Edward asked, all cavalier, like it didn't even matter. Like I didn't matter.

"Why?" I mimicked, shaken and just plain annoyed.

"You heard me." He finally looked at me then, and I swear the confusion on his face almost looked genuine. Almost.

My heart twisted and everything inside me tightened. I took a deep breath, determined not to let him see just how badly he'd made me feel.

"Heh, I wasn't aware our lessons were over; would have been nice if you'd enlightened me before you decided to ditch me."

"Why is it such a surprise? You know how to surf now. Now we can go back to being what we are: boss and employee. That's it." His voice had an edge to it I hadn't heard him use before. So devoid of feeling or emotion it made my skin crawl.

And every single word cut deeper and deeper into my heart. He had just voiced every single one of my fears from the day before.

"Is that how it is?" I asked shakily. "Here I thought you were my friend."

He shook his head, turning away. "You don't get it."

"What don't I get Edward?" I challenged.

His fingers wove into his hair, tugging the wet strands mercilessly. He huffed out a breath. "I can't be your friend, okay? I can't."

I had no idea what to say to that.

Several tense, quiet moments passed. I stared into the water like it might hold the answers I wanted. More angry tears fell from my eyes and I reached up to wipe them away, mad at myself for letting him see how much I was affected by what he'd said.

As the minutes and the silence grew, I turned to leave. I'd done what I'd come thereto do and there was no sense in making an even bigger fool out of myself than I already had.

Edward didn't want me.

Edward didn't want me to want him.

Edward couldn't be my friend.

Edward was nothing… except my boss.

I covered my mouth as I walked, trying to hide the sob those thoughts conjured.

He turned as I moved past him, and, though I tried not to look at him, his eyes met mine; vivid green against my own watery brown. And I don't know what I expected to see there in his face, but it certainly wasn't my own anguish reflected back.

My stomach flipped and squeezed and I sucked in a deep breath, but I didn't stop walking. I couldn't. I forced myself to keep moving even though the sand at my feet felt like sludge.

"Fuck," he said, and then I heard his steps swishing through the sand behind me. "Please don't cry," he begged.

He reached out and grabbed my wrist, stopping me from moving any further.

"I'm not," I insisted, tugging against the hold he had on me.

"You're a horrible liar."

"You're an asshole," I retorted, still trying to break free. I turned my back and closed my eyes.

"Yes, I am," he agreed, much closer now.

"I have to go," I said, staring ahead at the parking lot. There were more cars around, more people. I didn't want this to become some kind of public spectacle.

Edward took a deep breath in and then pulled on my wrist again. "Please look at me."

Slowly, I turned, keeping my eyes low. I was afraid to look at him. He released my arm, but his hands stayed close; like he was afraid I might bolt at any second. I wanted to. I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet for even bothering to come here.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking another step closer. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Why?" I asked, needing to know. I wasn't sure if he would understand the myriad questions remaining: why had he ditched me; why had he been so upset the day before; why had he said all those hurtful things? Why, why, why…

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes briefly before lifting a hand to my cheek, the tips of his fingers barely touching my skin. His voice was soft when he spoke again. "You were right. I'm an asshole."

As much as I wanted to melt into the simple touch he'd offered, to forget everything, I just couldn't. Instead, I shook my head and reached up to push his hand away. I needed space to breathe, to think, to just…figure out what it was I did want. I wished I could pretend that a few words and one tiny little touch could fix the hurt, but that just wasn't the case.

"I have to go," I repeated.

The look in Edward's eyes was equal parts defeated and determined. "No," he insisted. "No."

He took another step forward, reached out with both hands, and touched my cheeks, fingers sliding until they were wrapped tightly in my hair and he was pulling my face toward his. The green in his eyes was gorgeous up close, so raw, intense… so completely uninhibited. Like he'd lowered a screen and let me see right into his soul.

The air in my lungs disappeared as I watched his mouth part, tongue peeking out to trace his bottom lip. Anger, disappointment – everything I'd been feeling – disappeared and the air around us shifted. Warmth crawled up my body, and I'm not sure who moved first, but suddenly my hands were wrapped around his biceps and I had the taste of him in my mouth, all sweet and coffee and mint.

He kissed so softly; tentative and caring. Top lip… bottom lip. A lick and then a suck. My fingers tightened and our kiss grew stronger, more demanding. He moaned. I melted. My mouth parted and his tongue swirled against mine, teeth tugging my bottom lip until he slowed. With two soft kisses he pulled away, washing warmth across my cheek as he breathed heavily. The hold he had on my hair loosened as his lips teased my jaw, and then my neck.

Hands dropped to my shoulders, arms, and then wrapped around my waist. And I couldn't believe this was happening. His chest danced heavily against my own, sending shivers through me as cold water from his wetsuit soaked into the material of my shirt.

"Do you know what you do to me?" he whispered, lips brushing each word against my skin like an artist puts paint to canvas.

I couldn't answer him, but I didn't let go. The truth was that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to let go again.

So… can I officially come out of hiding now? *kicks dirt around*

Thank you all a million times over for your lovely reviews and words and everything. You are the best readers ever.

Reviews are love.

Until tomorrow!

xx