Disclaimer: I own everything but their names.

July 17, 2001 – Santa Cruz, California

"Do you know what you do to me?" he whispered, lips brushing each word against my skin like an artist puts paint to canvas.

I couldn't answer him, but I didn't let go. The truth was that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to let go again.

Before I even had a chance to try answering his question, his lips were on mine again, all warm and needy and breathtakingly perfect. It was everything I'd wanted: to be close to him; to kiss him; to know that the feelings growing inside me might be returned.

But I didn't understand why, if he were planning to kiss me, he'd said all the things he had only minutes before. Why he'd pushed me away so hard only to pull me right back in again.

"Wait," I said, pulling away from his lips and pushing against his chest. "Just… wait."

He stepped back, face falling as he lifted his hands to his hair. There was something so utterly simple, yet devastatingly hot, about the way his muscles flexed as he linked his fingers and rested them behind his neck.

"We need to talk," I told him.

Edward sighed. "I— yeah, we do."
I opened my mouth to speak, but my thoughts were still too chaotic to put into words.

"We can't do this here. And if we don't get to the shop soon, Jasper's gonna think something happened."

I nodded, still mute. Edward was right; even if it was going to kill me to wait all day for answers. Plus, if I didn't return Charlie's car before he had to leave for work, I'd probably be grounded for the rest of my life.

"Later," he said, "when the shop closes, then we'll talk. Okay?"

"Yeah," I said, and that was that. After walking me to my car, Edward said goodbye, waiting until I pulled away to get in his Jeep.

Thank the stars everyone was mostly still in the water because my eyes lingered on his tall frame, highlighted by the rising sun and the ocean behind him, instead of where I was going until I left the parking lot.

Luckily, I made it back home in record time. Charlie was waiting on the porch when I pulled up, though.

Oh, shit.

There was no denying that I'd taken his car without asking. I climbed out reluctantly and moved toward him. "Hi, Dad… I hope you don't mind, I had an, uh… an errand to run."

I gave him the best 'innocent daughter smile I could and held the keys out, jingling them just before I dropped them in his hand.

"Nah, kid. I don't mind. But ask next time," he said gruffly, standing up. He bent down and kissed my cheek. "I've gotta run, see you tonight."

"Okay, Dad. Have a good day!" I called after him.

Once he was gone, I took my usual walk to the shop. My stomach was a mass of crazy butterflies the entire time, and, though I was still so confused about the morning's events, my lips tingled just thinking about seeing Edward again.

I had barely made it inside the door when Jasper started in.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he joked. "Running a little late this morning?"

I shrugged and tried not to look guilty. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Don't worry about it. I covered for you with Grumpsalot back there." He jerked his thumb in the direction of Edward's office. "He's in a surprisingly chipper mood this morning. I think he even smiled."

I turned away to hide my own smile. Something had made Edward happy… I only hoped it was me.

We were unusually and frustratingly busy that afternoon, but I couldn't complain. The less time to dwell on what'd happened that morning, the better. I knew if I had the time to go over it in my head, I would work myself into a frenzy of 'what-if's' and make myself even crazier than I was already feeling.

After closing, Jasper locked up and I went into the dressing room to finish hanging up the bikinis some snotty teenage girls had left all over the floor. Brats. They didn't buy anything, and I suspected they were really only there to ogle the surfers who frequented the shop in the first place.

A throat cleared and I looked up to find Jasper leaning against the door. "So, d'you have fun last night?"

I nodded. "Yeah… thanks again. You know, for bringing me. It was nice to meet some new people."

"I know Nah had a good time," Jasper teased, grinning at me. "He wants me to give him your number."

Before that morning, I probably would have been happy with that little piece of information. At that moment, though, I didn't know how to handle it. I had to fight to give him some kind of answer that wouldn't give away the truth.

"I'm not—" I stopped speaking when Edward stepped out of his office and turned his head to look at us. It was clear he'd heard what Jasper said by the look on his face. "I don't think that's such a good idea," I finally said, my eyes still on Edward's.

Jasper grabbed one of the bikinis off the floor and dangled it from his finger. "You weren't saying that last night."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Edward cut me off. "Jay, I've got the deposit on my desk, can you drop it off for me? I'll take Bella home."

Jasper rolled his eyes and turned to look at Edward. "Um, dude, we're talking here." He gestured to me and then turned his back on Edward. "Why can't you do it yourself?"

Edward sighed and his jaw clenched. "Jasper—"

I'd seen them fight before – they usually bickered (as siblings are known to do) –but this seemed different. I decided to interject. "It's cool, Jasper. We can talk about this tomorrow."

Jasper's eyes widened and he threw his hands up all dramatic-like. He tossed the bikini he was holding in my direction. "Fine. Whatever."

He turned to leave, making sure to slam the front door on his way out.

Neither Edward nor I moved at first. We both just kind of stood there and stared at each other. I didn't know who should speak first. I wasn't even sure what this talk would consist of. All I could focus on was the memory of the kiss from that morning and the hope it sparked inside me.

Finally, Edward buried his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. "Come sit with me?"

With a deep, calming breath I nodded, pulled the pile of bikinis to my chest, and followed him. I dropped the bathing suits on the counter as Edward took a seat on the couch.

His eyes followed me as I made my way over to him. I stopped just short of where he'd taken a seat on the old leather sofa, considering where I should sit. On the floor in front of him? Next to him? How close was too close?

Was there a too close now?

In the end, I opted for climbing up on the cushion at his side, knees sinking into the worn leather.

Edward turned to lean against the arm of the couch. His expression was casual, but the tone in his voice was anything but. "So," he said. "Nahuel?"

That threw me, and, too embarrassed to make direct eye contact, I looked at a point just above his shoulder. "I met him last night."

"So it would seem," he said, looking away and staring at a space on the wall. He was so difficult to read. I hadn't considered that we'd be discussing Nahuel when we finally sat down to talk, and he wasn't who I wanted to be talking about.

"What happened this morning?" I blurted, determined not to skirt around anything. I needed to know what was going on his head.

Nahuel didn't matter, anyway.

Edward looked back at me, voice sharp and maybe a little accusing. "What happened last night?"

I sat there for a second, shocked not only by the tone of his voice but by his question as well. I threw my hands up in frustration. "Why does that matter?"

He sat forward, bringing his face just inches from mine. My lips trembled as his eyes searched mine. "It just does," he said, much softer.

I sighed. "Nothing happened last night," I told him emphatically. "I made some friends. I tried to have a good time. Someone made it difficult." I narrowed my eyes, trying to convey the fact that he was that someone.

His shoulders sagged in relief and he let out a sigh of his own. He sat back. "I'm sorry."

"What exactly are you sorry for, Edward? You're still not really telling me anything I want to know."

"I have no idea what I'm doing here, okay?" He covered his face with his hands.

"Obviously I don't either."

A humorless laugh escaped his still hidden lips. "This is ridiculous. You should be with someone like Nahuel."

My heart felt like it'd been stabbed by a thousand tiny knives at his words. I shrank back from him. "What if that's not what I want?" I asked, voice shaky and uncertain. He had to understand that I only wanted him, if he'd have me.

He lowered his hands and stared at me. Seconds passed, minutes… maybe even years. I was sure my heart would stop if he didn't say something soon. I was dying.

"What do you want?" he asked, turning the tables on me again.

"What do you want?" I returned, voice a little higher; a little surer. My stomach clenched as I waited for him to give me an answer. He had to say it first.

He had to tell me I wasn't crazy for feeling this way about him.

Edward scooted closer, hand lifting to my cheek as his eyes searched mine. "Something I shouldn't."

I seriously can't even begin to say thank you enough for the response to the last chapter, heck, to this entire story. You all have amazed me and made me cry and laugh and smile so much, and after stressing about everything big and small while I was writing it, to know it works is just… the best reward ever.

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Until tomorrow!

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