Okay. I am SO sorry that this is so very late. All I can say is that life suddenly became very busy, and I had to take care of some important things. Things that, if left untouched, would leave me without much of a future at all.

Also... (this one I feel a bit more guilty for) I recently got Assassin's Creed: Revelations... and I... might have lost some time to that...

*ahem* But I felt really bad about this being late, so I buckled down and wrote. I hope you all can forgive me.

One last thing. I had a question about where Sai was. In order to simplify the story, and to help me keep my sanity (I find Sai very difficult to write), he does not exist in this story's alternate universe. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone.

Now, what you've all been waiting for (sorrysorrysorry). Please review!

beta: Icescim

The Philosophy of Self

Chapter Twelve

Sakura sat with her knees drawn up to her chest, rubbing her face with her hands. She felt like something inside had broken. Not her heart, but something very similar.

It hurt.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto's voice was hesitant and quiet.

"Do you believe him?" she whispered, knowing he would hear.

Naruto sat down beside her slowly, and answered only when he was settled. "Yeah. I do."

"So do I," Sakura said, sounding absolutely anguished over the fact. "And I'm not sure if I should hate myself for it. How can it be so easy to believe our Village would do such a thing?"

"I've always known what Konoha was capable of," Naruto responded quietly. He stared at the ground before him. "I am the host of the demon that killed hundreds of the Village's people. The family and friends of all the people who live there now. For a while, they hated me for that fact. I was abused, emotionally, physically, verbally. Merchants wouldn't sell to me. It took Sandaime's intercession for me to even buy groceries. Kids took their cues from the adults, and shunned me.

"When I was five, a civilian pushed me down a flight of stone stairs. He thought he was doing the village a favor, getting rid of the demon child. Lucky for me, I'm more durable than other kids. I had a few broken ribs, a broken arm, and a concussion. But I lived.

"You know that I barely graduated the Academy. What you don't know is that I barely survived that day; Mizuki tried to kill me. I know what the Village is capable of. I know it real well."

"Naruto…" Sakura said, guilt in her voice.

"I don't want to believe that he's Itachi," Naruto continued, running over Sakura's words. "Because that means he's not Sasuke, and that I've failed again to bring him back."

Naruto paused and then gave a harsh little laugh. "But this stuff about the Massacre order… It makes it easier to believe. How sick is that? But, if I believe that Konoha ordered the Uchiha Massacre, then I have to believe the rest of the story, too. I have to believe that he's Itachi."

Sakura closed her eyes, profoundly unhappy.

"But, you know," Naruto's voice dropped and softened, "Old Man Hokage was always there for me. Teuchi and Ayame at Ichiraku's were always nice to me. And Iruka-sensei protected me from Mizuki."

He lifted his gaze and met Sakura's green eyes with his blue. "The whole Village wasn't mistreating me, only a part. There were ninja who trusted what the Fourth had done, and they treated me just like any kid. My Teammates became my friends, after a while. And as time passed there were more and more people who looked at me and saw Naruto, not the Kyuubi.

"There is always hope, Sakura," he concluded. "Itachi said that the order was a secret, and that nobody except the Council and the Hokage knew about it; and the Hokage wasn't even a part of issuing the order. It wasn't all of Konoha, not even close. It was just Danzo, and the Elders."

"You say 'just'," Sakura said dully, "but they're the Council of Elders, our leaders, Naruto. And we just found out that they are willing to go behind the Hokage's back, against the Hokage's wishes. They have been lying to us this whole time. They sanctioned the killing of dozens of Konoha citizens. How can I follow their orders now, knowing all this?"

"We won't! We won't follow their orders!" Naruto said firmly. Sakura gave him a blank look.

"Excuse me?" she said. "You realize that's a good way to get executed, right?"

"Well, we'll follow the orders that make sense," he amended. "The ones that don't go against the Will of Fire."

Sakura shook her head, unconvinced. Naruto bumped her shoulder with his. "And when I'm Hokage, I'll make sure they can't lie like that. I'll never allow another massacre."

Sakura's lips twitched in a weak smile at the re-emergence of Naruto's dream, which was probably what he'd intended by bringing it up. Naruto smiled back at her.

She didn't feel good about all this; the revelation that the man who they all believe to be Sasuke was actually Itachi, and the revelation that the Uchiha Massacre happened on orders from the Elders. In point of fact, she was downright sickened by it. Still, knowing that Naruto was with her helped ease the turmoil within her somewhat. At least, if she was going to have her worldview shattered, her Teammates would be there with her.

Sakura gave a small, humorless chuckle and scrubbed at her face again. "It'll be alright," Naruto told her. "Everything will turn out alright; now that the Hokage knows about the Massacre, she'll punish Danzo and all them. And we can help her. And Itachi will, too. Everybody heard the truth at that trial; they won't let Danzo win. I know it!"

:If only I could be as sure as you, Naruto,: Sakura thought sadly. To have Naruto's conviction would probably make this hurt a lot less. Aloud, all she could say was: "I hope so."

"You have not made it easy for yourself, you know," Kakashi told him as he watched Naruto chase after Sakura. Itachi shook his head slowly.

"I burned my bridges knowingly, willingly," he replied. "The opportunity to cross them again was never supposed to come up."

"Because you were supposed to die," Kakashi acknowledged.

"Yes." Itachi met Kakashi's thoughtful gaze, looked away again.

"If you remember what happened before you died, do you remember what happened that you are alive now?"

"I…" Itachi frowned. "I remember waking, in a cold stone room. And I remember being confused, disoriented. I couldn't even see properly, like I had forgotten how eyes work. And I was in danger."

"Were you alone?"

"Yes. Or, no. I think there was someone else there. Sleeping?" A shiver of remembered revulsion and confusion. "No. No, it… it was my body. Mine, Uchiha Itachi's. Or more precisely, it was my corpse."

There was a long pause, as Itachi tried to shake the remembered visceral horror of seeing yourself, dead, and as Kakashi thought.

"Do you think you could find that place again?" the Copy Ninja finally asked. Itachi looked at him.

:He wants to try to find Sasuke,: Itachi realized. Evidence would point to Madara having taken Itachi's corpse at the same time he took Sasuke's unconscious body from that final battlefield, which would imply that he put both in the same location. So, if Itachi's body had been there, Sasuke would have been, as well.

Itachi felt a knot of dread tie itself in his throat.

If all that speculation was true, what did it mean that Itachi's current body was a match for Sasuke's?

"I'm not sure the exact location," Itachi said, quietly, looking at the ground. "But I have a few ideas of where it might be."

When Sakura and Naruto came back, Itachi could see that they had calmed somewhat, had begun to come to grips with the revelations he had imparted. But there was still a shadow to their eyes, Sakura's in particular. And just as he had regretted tearing the innocence from Sasuke's eyes, Itachi mourned the bruised look in Sakura's expression. He cut off his conversation with Kakashi and looked away.

:I had to tell them,: he thought, though with guilt. :If they didn't know what the Council was capable of, their trust might have been abused.:

Kakashi stood to greet his returning students.

"We're fine, sensei," Sakura said quietly. Itachi nearly flinched at the weariness in her voice. :Why must the only way I can protect people be by hurting them?:

"What do we do now, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked. Itachi looked up to find the two younger ninja watching him, while Kakashi watched them. Itachi watched Kakashi, waiting for his response.

"I'm going to check to see if we can let go the wards," he said. "I want to get back to Konoha as soon as we can."

Of course. They'd left with the leaders of the Village metaphorically and literally crossing blades—Danzo's Root against Tsunade's ANBU. Sealed into this safe-house, Team Seven didn't know what was happening in their Village, or whether their help was needed by their Hokage. They'd only left to get Sasuke—Itachi—to safety. A knee-jerk reaction to both who they thought he was, and to what he'd said.

It was an order. The Uchiha Massacre was on orders.

He'd said it, and then Danzo and Root had tried to kill him. Naruto and Sakura had protected him because they had still thought he was Sasuke. Kakashi, who had guessed otherwise, protected him to protect the information he had that expanded upon that ideal-shattering revelation. The others had probably tried to either kill or protect him for a myriad of other reasons, perhaps even the same ones as Team Seven.

That Danzo had tried to kill him immediately, without hearing more, probably helped Itachi's case more than anything. Ironic.

Kakashi ducked out the cave with a few murmured words to his students. Naruto huffed and crossed his arms impatiently. Sakura fixed her eyes on Itachi and took a few steps closer. He watched her quietly.

"I don't want to believe you," she told him bluntly. Naruto went very still and attentive in his corner. "But what you say makes too much sense. So I'm going to believe you… provisionally. There's nothing concrete to sway me one way or the other, and until there is, I'm going to treat you as a passive threat. You may not be my enemy, but you're not my friend either."

"I understand," he said. He let his eyes catch her a moment and then looked away. "Thank you. And… I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked, stiffly.

"That I… don't know where Sasuke is. And for…" he touched his face lightly. Sakura's skated across his expression a few time and then she gave a half-shrug and said:

"It's strange, but it apparently wasn't your fault. You don't have to apologize." And then it was her turn to look away, as she mumbled: "And we'll find Sasuke."

:She can't quite bring herself to hope, either.: The realization was surprising. From what he remembered, all of the members of Team Seven had been adamant in returning Sasuke to Konoha, even when he had made it clear that he would not go back willingly. But, perhaps, it had been so long, and there had been so many failures, that Sakura's limits had been tested to the breaking point. :Was I the last straw? The failure that I am not Sasuke?:

"I will do everything I can to help you," he told her, and the intently listening Naruto. He didn't know what had happened to Sasuke. There was a chance that his little brother was still alive. And if he was alive, he was most likely in Madara's tender care. Itachi would have to change that.

"There's no sign of enemies in the area," Kakashi said as he came back inside. "We should go now."

Naruto popped forward as if spring-loaded. It was clear that, although he'd been mostly preoccupied with the talk that had gone on after Itachi's revelation, he'd been chafing at hiding and waiting while—for all they knew—their comrades in the Village were fighting.

Sakura turned around almost as quickly to face Kakashi. "Do you think everyone's alright?" she asked, concern in her voice.

Kakashi's visible eye adopted an expression of dark humor. "Everyone?"

There was a very sinister lilt to his voice, suggesting that he was aware of a few people who would not be alright when he was through with them.

"Well, everyone besides Danzo and his minions," Sakura amended, with an echoing coldness.

"Tsunade-baachan and ANBU and all the Heads of the Clans were there," Naruto said. "There's no way anything bad could have happened with them there."

Kakashi was crouched by where Itachi had seated himself against the cave wall. "We're going to be using shunshin. I'll have to carry you."

Itachi inclined his head, acquiescing.

There was no outward sign that, just a few hours before, there had been a pitched battle inside the main administrative building of Konohagakure no Sato. In fact, Sakura noted, there was no sign that any disturbance had occurred at all; the Chuunin gate guards greeted them calmly, saying only: "The Hokage requested that you report directly to her office after you check in with us."

Team Seven exchanged Looks. It seemed as if the incident had been swept under the rug, so to speak. Kakashi amiably thanked the guards, and followed his Team into the Village.
Sakura was grimly silent on the way to Tsunade's office, grateful that they took the roofs, bypassing the busy main streets and happily bustling citizens. Embittered as she was by Itachi's truths, she didn't think she could keep her temper if faced by what was apparently another of her Village's lies. Even though her logical, rational side understood that it was better to keep the fact that Konoha's leaders had been literally fighting amongst themselves secret, she could help but get a bit riled at the fact that it was covered up so neatly that the Village had no idea what had happened. ANBU and the ranking officials who had been present at the trial had probably already been sworn to secrecy. The civilians and the lower-ranking ninja might never know how close the Village came to civil war.

Again.

Sakura gritted her teeth. Yes, she understood why it had to be secret, but that didn't mean she didn't feel betrayed. She hated this! She was confused and betrayed and grieving but she just couldn't hate Konoha for it, not when it kept everybody safe.

:This is how Itachi must have felt. Must still feel,: murmured her reasonable self. :Stuck between betrayal and understanding.:

Internally, she railed at what was so hopeless and helpless. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. She condemned genocide, but honored altruism. But Itachi's actions had been both—he had sacrificed his family, his happiness, and to a certain extent, his sanity, for the good of the Village as a whole. For Fire Country as a whole.

And she wanted to protect Konoha, but hated lying. But what would their enemies do if they caught wind of internal strife within Konoha? What would Iwa, nursing a grudge from the last Shinobi War, do? What would Kumo? Kiri? All Konoha could be sure about was that Suna would not attack them, not while Gaara was Kazekage. Sakura was one of a select few who knew that Root and ANBU had raised arms against each other this day. She had to keep that secret. She had to lie to her comrades. Deceive her precious people. Mislead the very ones she most owed the truth, so that she could continue to keep them safe.

Her dilemma was so much less than Itachi's, but it still left a foul taste in her mouth. She felt a stirring of sorrow and empathy for the stoic Uchiha. If she was so torn up over simply lying to her family, then how damaged must he be for having had to kill his?

Sakura wanted to curl up in a dark corner and pretend the world didn't exist; this was beyond any horror she had steeled herself for during her ninja training. That showed now in how unsettled she was, and probably how haggard her expression was.

They reached the door to the Hokage's office and paused. Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder and Naruto's, squeezed lightly, and then stepped between them to open the door and led them in.