In God's Hands, in God's Time
Adult/NC17 -- mature scenes and topics, some "dirty words"
CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, and a whole busload of characters. If they worked in the West Wing, they're most likely in here.
Spoilers – through end of series
Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul
Feedback and criticism always welcomed
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Friday May 14, 2010 Washington DC
Danny Concannon was alone at the table toward the back of the room. Carol and David's rehearsal dinner party was in its third hour and everyone was enjoying themselves.
Some were still reacting to the news from Donna and Josh.
It happened when Ellie and Vic were explaining why Zoey wasn't with Charlie over at Georgetown tonight, why she wouldn't be coming down tomorrow morning with Jed, Abbey, and Liz. ("She can't stand to be in DC in mid-May; it brings back so many horrible memories. She'll fly down Sunday for Charlie's graduation. She feels safe at the farm, with the agents. I'm glad that Charlie will be clerking for the Massachusetts Chief Justice; they'll be close to New Hampshire"). Helen Santos asked if Liz might consider joining her staff. "I'm going to need someone with her skills, her experience come this fall and into next year, assuming we win in November."
Donna touched her stomach and said, "When the kids are born, I'm taking at least a full year off".
"Kids?" CJ picked up on the word. "Donna, are you having two?"
Then Josh, his grin as wide as his entire face, had held up his right hand, his thumb holding down his pinky finger.
"Triplets!!"
All the men started congratulating Josh, giving him high fives, telling him things like "You da man!", "superstud!", and "triple threat".
"Excuse me!" Donna shouted. "Josh didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I'm the one who produced two, maybe three eggs at the same time! And without fertility drugs!"
(At the end of March, during Carol's shower, when Bonnie, Donna, and Ginger announced their pregnancies, both Donna and Ginger indicated that they hadn't been "trying"; only Bonnie and Jean-Luc's baby was planned).
Matt Santos argued that they could very well be identical triplets and that it was Josh's "contribution" that triggered the three-way split. The general hilarity continued for the next five minutes.
The rehearsal earlier in the evening was one of the most enjoyable ones he had ever attended. That is, it was once Paul Reeves, CJ's erstwhile "first" and now widowed Disciples of Christ minister, had diplomatically wrested control of it from Carol's mother and Carol's mother's cousin Elsie.
Paul talked everyone through the ceremony with practiced ease, then worked with each person or subgroup individually, ending with a top to bottom run-through.
Danny remembered the description of one of his duties. "Danny, you will lift Carol's blusher, drape it over the back of her main veil. At this point, Carol and David will see each other for the first time, each will proclaim 'No way am I marrying that!' and take off for separate parts unknown, Carol on the bride's side, David on the groom's, of course."
When Paul told "the three blooming bridesmaids" to make sure they used the facilities right before the ceremony because "no one walks out on my sermon", Bonnie, Donna, and Ginger all said "Yes, sir!" Then when Carol's mom said something about three pregnant bridesmaids out of five attendants and Cousin Elsie said "Better the bridesmaid than the bride!", Paul said that he would have his baby blessing ritual at the ready because with three women each three months' pregnant, he figured that the infant could come at any minute, "or doesn't it work that way?"
Donna had told CJ and him that Carol and David, indeed, the entire congregation, thought that Paul had hung the moon. It was obvious from the easy way that Carol and David related with the minister, both at the rehearsal and now at the dinner afterward, that it was true. Apparently, John Hoynes also belonged to the same church and he had seen Hoynes and Paul talking together earlier. Good; if Hoynes was getting some counseling, it could only bode better things for Margaret and the man with whom she was now openly having an intimate relationship.
Carol and David were talking with some of his friends from the State Department and, looking at her, Danny still couldn't shake the thought that something was bothering her. When he mentioned it to CJ as they were driving from the church to this restaurant, she told him it was just jitters and he wanted to believe her, but he still wasn't sure.
Speaking of CJ, he heard her voice take on the slightly higher pitch and faster tempo that meant she was on one of her classic spiels. He looked up to see Matt Santos, leader of the free world, with that "deer caught in the headlights" look that indicated he had neither earthly idea what was happening nor plan for dealing with it.
"She still does that?"
Carrying two beers and some napkins, Paul sat down at a right angle to him. He handed one of the beers to Danny.
"Yeah. It's fun to just watch everyone try to figure out what's going on, not realizing that unless you have the secret to stopping it, you just have to let her wind down like an old-fashioned alarm clock."
Danny had taken an instant liking to Paul, felt an instant connect with him. He realized during the rehearsal and during dinner that he could have a very easy relationship with this man, much better than the tentative one he was still developing with Toby Ziegler. The bond between CJ and Paul was still there, a tiny bit more on Paul's part than on hers, he suspected, but it was also firmly contained in the past and posed absolutely no threat, physically or emotionally, to his marriage.
"It was always a dilemma, deciding if I wanted to stop her right away, or challenging myself to see how long I could hold out," Paul laughed.
"Yeah," Danny agreed.
"I think I once went six minutes, but I usually gave up after four or so. You?"
"Once, I went almost ten minutes before kissing her."
"Kissing?"
"You know, just grabbing the back of her head and, wait," Danny looked over at Paul, "how did you stop her?"
"Tickling."
"Really?"
"Maybe she's outgrown it, but you know that thing that Patrick Swayze did to Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing with the back of his fingers? Well, a bit lower than that, right above her waist – Kissing?"
"Yeah. Tickling?"
Both men were lost in thought for a few seconds, a combination of happy memories and missed opportunities because of knowledge gained too late on the part of the minister, a combination of happy memories and gleeful anticipation about putting new knowledge to use on the part of the husband.
"Danny, she's been trying to match me up, first with Josh Lyman's deputy and then with the UN ambassador, God knows who else she has in mind -"
"I tried to tell her it was a risky idea. Next up, for your consideration, Admiral Fitzwallace's widow."
"Like I could ever stack up to him, even if I were interested. Damn! Danny, I really need to talk to her. May I?"
"A – Don't sell yourself short; B – you don't need my permission to talk with my wife."
"Well, it's not so much talking with as talking to, intensely; this has got to stop!"
"Oh, you want to yell at her." Danny took a pen out of his pocket, grabbed a napkin, and started writing.
"Well, I never had to raise my voice with her, or with Alicia, for that matter, whenever I found it necessary to - "
"Chastise?" Danny suggested, with twinkling eyes and a smile. This man preached, after all, and probably enjoyed speaking the right word as much as Danny did writing it.
"That conjures up an image of palm applied to backside and I was never that brave, or that stupid; I'm not about to start now." Paul smiled back at him.
"Scold? Lecture? How about 'discuss emphatically and seriously'? Here." He handed the napkin to the other man.
"What's this?"
"No sense in both of us getting on her shit list. Mention those three things to her while you're at it."
The minister read the napkin. He nodded his head in agreement with the first point, shrugged his shoulders on the second. Then he read the third item.
"This last one; she really does?"
"Yep."
"Danny, believe me, she was raised better than that! I apologize."
"I'm sure she was; you are obviously a man of breeding and culture. One can only do so much; they tend to have minds of their own. You know," he changed the subject, "she wouldn't be doing the yenta thing if it hadn't been such a wonderful time in her life, if you hadn't been so good for her. It is a compliment."
"I know, but the timing is all wrong," the other man sighed. "I've loved two women in my life. Right now, God has one and you have the other. At this point, I need to give whatever capacity I have to love, other than those memories, to my kids and to my flock."
"Let her know that. She's heading for the rest room. Ambush her when she gets out."
When CJ left the rest room, she saw Paul standing there, leaning against the wall, his arms casually crossed.
"CJ, I need to talk to you." His smile lit up his face, but his inflection and his arms signaled what was going on.
"I really should get to Danny", she said as he led her around the corner to a little alcove.
"I've already spoken with your husband," he leaned her up against one wall while he took the other. "In fact, he gave me a list; let's get his items out of the way before mine."
He looked at the napkin.
"One, don't ride with the Mustang's top down after dark. A perfectly reasonable request, in my opinion. You're too smart not to know how dangerous it can be out there. If it were me, you wouldn't be in a soft-topped car at all. Count your blessings.
"Two, when putting warm beers in the fridge, put them in the back and move the cold ones to the front. Not on my personal list of top ten issues, but he's married to you and I'm not. Why don't you just try, sweetheart?" How easily he slipped back into their old banter. He smiled slowly and she began to remember why she was with this man for two years, why he was so special those many years ago.
"But this last one. CJ, CJ, CJ. This really wounds me, it reflects so badly on me." His smile lightened the tone, but she knew he was a little serious as well. "What did I teach you about a man's razor?"
Suddenly, it was as if she was a fourth-grader in CCD class, reciting her memorized Baltimore Catechism answers about transubstantiation or the seven corporal works of mercy.
"The man's razor is sacrosanct. The man's razor is never to be touched. The woman will wear a blouse with sleeves and slacks, will forego swimming, rather than use the man's razor. If the man has a spare, he will gladly give it to the woman, but the woman must always ask. If the future of the universe, or a doctor's appointment, absolutely demands that the man's razor be used, the woman will make sure that the man knows about the exigency so that the man is aware that the sanctity of the razor has been compromised before applying it to the man's face or neck." She sighed and then smiled. "You really would have been a damned good lawyer. So now you lecture women on how to be dutiful wives?"
He refolded the napkin so that a blank side faced out, reached into his pocket for a pen, and handed the things to CJ.
"I'm sure that any of the couples I counsel will tell you that my advice and suggestions go both ways. When you and I are done here, you want to give me a list to discuss with Danny, I'll take it back to him.
"But for now, distraction is not allowed. CJ, please, if you have any feeling at all left for me, stop trying to put another woman in my life."
"I don't know what you mean?" Eight years in the Bartlet White House had taught her how to evade. Maybe it would work on him.
"I'm a magna graduate of Dartmouth, I got into UC Berkeley's Law School, made Law Review, graduated from Yale Divinity School. Did you really think I wouldn't see through the little play you talked Donna into at Thanksgiving, or the invitation to the Prayer Breakfast? Margaret has eyes only for her devoted suitor and even if I were open to someone else at this time, Dr. McNally is way out of my league. I suppose I should be flattered that you think I could even begin to hold a candle to Percy Fitzwallace."
"How did you know about – I'll kill him!"
"No, you won't. More about what you will do later. CJ, between your emails, the part of your life that's been public record, and hell, girl, just looking at you, it's obvious what's going on. There's no zealot quite like a convert."
"Excuse me?"
"For the longest time, up until three, three and a half years ago, you were lonely, maybe a little miserable most of the time, except for those few weeks with the Secret Service guy. Then Danny grabbed you and pulled you, kicking and screaming, into this life you have now. I'd like to flatter myself and say that for the past 40 or so months you are the happiest you've been since you were with me, but to be brutally honest with myself, you've never been this happy. And like any convert to anything, be it religion, a new food regimen, even a new TV show, you want everyone to have what you have. You see me, alone, and you assume that I am lonely, that I need someone in my life. But you could not be more wrong. If and when that changes, it will be because God offers me that option, not you."
"How do you know that God isn't offering you that option through me or through someone else? Isn't it possible that God caused us to meet up again in Dulles, that God wants me to find someone else for you? You have so much to offer, and there are so many wonderful women who could offer so much to you."
"Of course He could work through you or through someone else, but if He did, it wouldn't feel forced, it wouldn't be uncomfortable. What if our paths had crossed again some 15 years ago, when I was the one who was deliriously happy and I pushed men I deemed worthy at you? You could have married someone else, not joined 'Bartlet for America', never met Danny."
He told her how he had learned to let things flow over him. He didn't think that the bad things that had happened to him were necessarily the "will of God"; that God might will some things, but most He just allowed to happen. ("The eternal, intoxicating mystery of an omnipotent God who chooses not to exercise His omnipotence, with free will thrown in as a chaser. Better, smarter, holier men and women than I have tried to explain it and can't; don't ask me to.") He told her that when he lost Alicia, he threw himself into missionary work because she had been so much a part of his teaching that he couldn't remain in the seminary environment. But once he was in Southeast Asia, he realized how much one could serve God by serving others. Now, he didn't think that God caused Alicia to die merely to teach him a life lesson, but he did believe that God used the fact of Alicia's death to offer him the opportunity to learn that lesson. He didn't believe that God gave him the parasitic infection to tear him away from Asia, nor did he believe that God gave the previous minister of his church a stroke, in order to provide an opening for him. But again, because of those events, he was ministering to a church for the first time since he had been newly ordained and was an associate to a senior minister.
Back then, he chafed under the older man's micro-management and conservative pastoral style and escaped to the relative freedom of the seminary. But now, he was fully in charge and he loved it. He awoke every morning filled with enthusiasm for his church. He loved all of it, the services, the "business" aspects, the pastoral counseling, the baby blessings, the weddings, even, in a strange way, the funerals. And that was another thing. If he were dating, courting, he couldn't give as much as he did to his congregation. No, he wasn't advocating mandatory celibacy, he laughed, but he could almost understand why her church required it of its priests.
"CJ, life has been so much easier since I accepted that things will happen in God's hands, in God's time. Look, when I found this vocation and we left each other, I was heartsick and the cause was my inability to surrender so willingly to the circumstances. For the longest time, I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision. I loved you so much. I kept thinking I should have stayed, held onto you, completed that final year of law school, tried again the next year or the year after that for PSR, or tried for one of the other schools in the Union. I had hoped for so much, was so looking forward to being engaged and then married to you, had been saving for - "
"Saving?" she asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Of course, saving," he said just a little impatiently, "I didn't want to go into debt but I wanted to give you – you never realized, the extra work?" It hit him that she really didn't have any idea at the time.
Suddenly, he stopped. He was slipping too much into the past and he couldn't do that. If, in the past, he had the right, if he felt it necessary, to induce tears, if that's what it took to make her truly understand, it was because he also had the right to kiss away those tears, to move on to other activities to reinforce in her the fact that it was his love and his concern for her that spurred the harsh words he needed to say. Now, that right belonged to the man who, while conversing with another couple, was nonetheless very aware of what was happening in this alcove.
However, he could not help himself from ending the discussion as he had so often done some thirty years ago. He slipped his hand under her chin, raised her head, rubbed his thumb on her cheek, and smiled. "So why don't you just say you're sorry, that you'll never do it again, and then we can forget all about it and move on to much nicer things?"
"I never realized before how much that sounds like what a priest says in the confessional."
"I'll have you know I aced my Comparative Christianity classes. So, earlier, when I said you would not kill Danny, that you would do something else? Tonight, when you and he go back to your hotel bed, I want to you let him know, with words and with actions, how much he means to you, how much you love him, how lucky you are to have him in your life. This is your condition of absolution. I want you to do for him, to him, everything I taught you to do, everything he likes - "
"I can't, I've got my - "
It brought back so many memories. He laughed aloud, gave her a huge bear hug, and kissed the top of her head. "Then do a particular one of those things, okay?"
With his arm still around her shoulders, he walked her toward the table and Danny.
Danny was talking with Charlie and his sister. They had stopped in after the Law School dean's reception for the graduating class. But he was also very much aware of Paul and CJ as they stood in the archway. At one point, he noticed her shoulders start to shrink and, knowing that the posture often signaled the imminent onset of tears, he became concerned, ready to step in. Danny knew that Paul and CJ needed to have this conversation, that she needed to hear it from Paul and not from Danny; he didn't think that Paul would push her too far, but if he tried, Danny would not let that happen. Yes, she had meddled; yes, she needed to stop it. But her heart, misguided though it was, had been in the right place; there was a limit to how much distress Danny would allow.
Then, suddenly, he could sense the change between the two of them. As he watched the man lift her chin with the palm of his hand, sweep her cheek with his thumb, and then caress the outline of her jaw with that thumb, Danny saw them not as the middle-aged minister and Danny's almost 50-year old wife, but as they were some thirty years ago. Paul was the confident, enthusiastic, very much in love 22 to 23 year-old law student with the brilliant future who would have, in all likelihood, made it to the California Supreme Court; CJ was the 19 to 20 year-old woman-child who basked in and glowed with the joy of first love. Paul's outburst of laughter and her much smaller one was followed by a large enveloping hug. Paul was bringing her back to him when Carol and David came up to the two of them, wanting to introduce him to David's brother and best man, who had finally arrived from Australia, so Paul walked away with them, giving CJ a little push on her back toward him.
"So, am I going to get killed?" Danny asked his wife.
"I was told that wasn't allowed."
They moved off to join some of the others, unaware that a third party had overheard Danny and Paul, had seen everything.
As he stood in the shadows watching CJ, Danny, Charlie, and Deanna walking away from the table, John Hoynes saw Margaret coming toward him. Thank God she hadn't finished before now.
The office had called her earlier and she needed to handle some issues. She needed quiet and she needed privacy. He could not, and would not, hang over her shoulder as she talked on her cell, but neither would he let her stand by herself in the back hallway, where anyone could come in off the street.
As he stood sentry, close enough to see to her safety but far enough to not overhear her conversation, he found himself the unintended eavesdropper on the conversation between his minister and Danny Concannon. He could not move any closer to Margaret without overhearing her; a move in any other direction would reveal his presence to the two men.
He remembered being told that the man who had taken over at his church knew CJ Cregg (he just couldn't get used to calling her "Concannon") back when the both of them were at Berkeley. The conversation between Danny and the minister, plus the observed scene between CJ and the minister, made three things quite clear. One, there had been a serious relationship between the minister and CJ. Two, Danny Concannon was well aware of the history. Three, Danny was secure in a) his wife's love and integrity, b) the minister's integrity, and c) Danny's own role as the most important man in CJ's life.
He liked Paul Reeves. The man was helping him to understand why he had acted so callously toward some women in the past; he was learning to be secure in his masculinity without being macho.
Among the many things he had discussed with the minister was if and how he should tell Margaret about his one-night stand with CJ. He hadn't mentioned CJ's name to Paul, of course, but he wondered if Paul had realized the identity of "someone Margaret worked with closely". He probably did, John realized, but the man would never tell him that; the minister was the epitome of discretion.
John had been conflicted. He wanted to follow the advice he had given CJ two years ago, to make sure that Margaret heard it from him and not from some horrible gossip column. But he also felt that he owed it to CJ to keep the confidence. Paul had suggested that he "discuss the situation with the woman first, not necessarily to get her consent, because you need to do what is best for your relationship with Margaret, but to give this other woman the courtesy of knowing what you are doing and why." Until a few minutes ago, the former vice-president had considered asking Paul to meet with CJ and him sometime this weekend, to be there when he told CJ what he felt he needed to do. Knowing what he now knew, he couldn't do that to either Paul or CJ. Paul was obviously CJ's first serious relationship, maybe even her first lover, and even when he was the worst Casanova on record, he knew that one shouldn't destroy those special memories. Even if Paul did suspect, suspicion was one thing; knowing, and CJ knowing that Paul knew, would be quite another.
"I'm sorry that took so long. Were you waiting here all this time? You should have gone back to the party," Margaret said.
"No, ma'am. I didn't want you back here alone. I know you needed to handle whatever issue came up, and that you needed silence and privacy, but I needed to watch out for you."
Margaret slipped an arm around his waist in a light hug. He took her hand, kissed it, clasped it, and walked with her into the main part of the party.
He was painfully aware of how important this wedding weekend was for his relationship with Margaret.
Soon after Valentine's Day, they spoke openly with each other about their relationship, their jobs, and how to deal with the situation. They would not sacrifice personal happiness on the altar of government service. If necessary, John would resign from his position as advisor and legislative liaison for Matt Santos. He could easily find work in the private sector or with some governmental agency not closely tied with the Executive branch. Also, he had his vice-presidential pension. Margaret enjoyed her administrative managerial role for the Santos administration but she also could find a similar position elsewhere.
They presented their case to the President and to Josh. It was not a matter of asking for permission to be publicly and officially a "couple"; that was a given. They merely respectfully offered the men the opportunity to tell Margaret and him if one or both of them should seek alternative employment.
They were told that for the immediate future, neither the President nor Josh had any issues. Both reserved the right to change their minds in the months to come, if necessary.
So now they were official. They had already attended two state functions as such, arriving together, sitting together, leaving together, indulging in discreet signs of affection (his hand at her waist as he guided her through the crowd, dancing arm in arm instead of the more formal pose, her adjusting his lapel and tie or removing a crumb from his mouth). He spent the occasional night at her townhouse, but he never stayed until morning when her son was with her. On several occasions when Bruno had the boy, she came to his bed and they did go to New York one weekend. They were circumspect in the White House.
But this wedding with its events was their first time together with what he referred to as the "Bartlet clique".
Margaret had made it clear that he would be with her at everything to which the "significant other" of a member of the bridal party would be invited. Carol had no objection, of course, but to the others, he was there on trial. He was fully prepared to have the degree to which his intentions were honorable questioned by everyone, including Jed Bartlet when he came down for the wedding tomorrow.
He knew the group wasn't a closed corporation. Danny, Rick, Jean-Luc, Morgan, and now David had been brought into the mix. However, he had history with the group and would have to ease his way into it; moreover, he knew that he would have to prove himself "worthy" of Margaret.
He had played it, and would continue to play it, very low key, much like the person joining an established web chat group. At the rehearsal itself, he sat in the back of the church with Morgan, Rick, Josh, and Jean-Luc while the others went through their paces. Danny was acting in loco parentis and Sam was an understudy usher. (David's brother's arrival from Australia was delayed and was iffy due to an early typhoon in the Pacific; David's college roommate might have to move up from usher to best man.) He pretty much stayed out of the conversation, as the three men were discussing their wives' pregnancies. Given the fact that all three had been given due dates within a week of each other in the middle of November, he assumed that for each of them, Valentine's Day had obviously been special. Given the way that Danny devoured his wife with his eyes, there could very well have been a fourth baby on the way. Hell, the way he fumbled with the condom the first time, he was lucky (or was it unlucky, he thought a little wistfully) that Margaret wasn't carrying.
During dinner, everyone had been polite and fairly cordial. He talked some with Jean-Luc about teaching French language and literature at the college level and about modern French literature. When CJ and Bonnie talked about some of the interesting developments in "Road to a Better World", he asked questions, fascinated, as he had always been, by the project. He congratulated Josh about the triplets, but refrained from making any comment about it being an "achievement" on the man's part.
During the toasts, he kept his mouth shut; the only advice he could give the groom would have been "Ask yourself 'What Would John Hoynes Do?' and then do the opposite."
He stayed out of the limited karaoke challenge, except as a chorus member. The party had been divided into 4 groups and each group chose three songs. It was up to each individual group to decide if a lead singer was needed. Also, the groups could not pick any song first released prior to 1990.
He was also lying low with regard to Margaret's jewelry for tomorrow. Right after St. Patrick's Day, he had overheard Margaret talking with Donna, saying that she was going to ask CJ if she could borrow CJ's "iolites" because her son needed orthopedic shoes and was outgrowing them at least twice a year; jewelry to match her dress would be an extravagance. Later, he asked Carol about the situation.
"It started when Danny bought some really nice stuff for CJ back in '08, for that gala in San Francisco. Josh felt as if he had to go one better and spent a small fortune on Donna's wedding gift, a tennis necklace and earrings in diamonds. Then Danny gave CJ that gorgeous emerald cut diamond ring for Paddy; Josh gave Donna a diamond tennis bracelet for Noah. It's developed into a friendly competition. When Rick found out that Danny and Josh were buying necklaces, bracelets, and earrings to match CJ and Donna's dress linings, he felt he had to do the same for Ginger, and then Jean-Luc said something about upholding the honor of French men."
Earlier today, he saw evidence of the good-natured rivalry between Danny and Josh when CJ and Donna admired each other's Mother's Day gifts. Noah had given Donna a diamond watch; Paddy's gift to CJ was a pendant encrusted with pearls (Paddy's and Danny's birthstone) and imperial topaz (CJ's) on one side and photoengraved with a picture of the three of them on the other.
Anyway, back in March he asked Carol some more questions and decided that he would buy something for Margaret. He found a picture of CJ from the gala and went to a jeweler recommended to him by Helen Santos. Carol had a picture of Margaret in her dress at the last fitting and he had that with him as well.
He was not about to get in the middle of Danny and Josh's friendly pissing contest. He knew that with all his family's money, Rick would probably exceed the two of them in money expended and Jean-Luc would, in all likelihood, find something with a certain je ne sais quoi that would charm the women, especially Bonnie. He told the man that he wanted something in purple, something that would be somewhat in line with what CJ was wearing in the picture, but not quite up to that standard. Again, he felt as if he had to "know his place" in the group.
The jeweler suggested amethysts, and rather than a large stone presence, he suggested fewer stones, but larger ones, and more gold than was showing in CJ's picture. The sophisticated line of Margaret's dress would be enhanced by the simplicity. He would give the pieces to Margaret when he took her home this evening.
The party had quieted down to the "interesting conversation" phase when Margaret's cell had rung. Now that she was done, they walked over to where the Santos', the Lyman's, and the Seaborn's were gathered. Margaret quietly and quickly gave Josh and the President a summary and then the conversation turned on to other topics.
Later that evening, the group had pulled several tables together. Carol and David were with his friends and coworkers from the State Department. Sam had challenged the men to name either the most romantic thing they had planned for their loved one or the thing they did that caused the most interesting fight. Sam excused Danny from the competition, since Gail had vaulted him into the "Romance Hall of Fame" and CJ and Danny's White House fights were also legendary. Of course, since there were those in the group who were not aware of the "Saga of Gail the Goldfish", the tale had to be told.
When asked, Paul smiled a smile that did not reach his suddenly sad eyes and quietly said that he couldn't talk about Alicia.
So Josh, having drunk from several other kegs in addition to the keg of glory since he had been proclaimed "super seed splitter" by Matt Santos, dictated that Paul had to talk about CJ, especially since Sam said Danny couldn't.
This time, the smile did reach his eyes.
"The most romantic thing I came up with will stay between CJ, me, whatever I chose to share with Alicia, and whatever she chooses to share with Danny." His earlier conversation with Danny had teased forth a memory from long ago. "I guess the most interesting fight would be over someone I defended in front of the Student Disciplinary Committee. It was right after we got pinned, that first year."
"You guys were pinned?" Bonnie asked. "That's sweet!"
"So," Paul continued, "there were these two seniors in CJ's dorm that took BART over to the city one day, and then took the ferry over to Sausalito. While they were there, the girls decided they wanted to go out to Stinson beach, so they hitched. However, the man who picked them up on the way back kidnapped them and held them for a day and a half before they got away.
"One of them was engaged to a guy in grad school at Ohio State, but the other one's fiancé was also a senior at Berkeley. The first night she was back in the dorm, he came over, made sure she was okay, then pulled her over his knees and proceeded to whale the tar out of her right there in the dorm lounge, in front of whoever happened to be there."
"And I still can't believe you defended him, approved of what he did!"
"I defended him because that was my job; he had a right to legal counsel before SDC," he replied just a bit sharply, just as he had at the time. Then, more quietly, "And you know I didn't approve, would never have - ".
"But you said you could understand why he did what he did."
"As did just about every other guy on campus, as would most men. Her own father said it saved him the trouble of doing it himself. There's a big difference between understanding and approving." He turned to the other men. "Am I right?"
There were nods of agreement and some "damn straight"s.
"I will avail myself of your fifth amendment," Jean-Luc said. Bonnie quickly announced that his comment did not, repeat not, involve any activity on her part; her pointed look at her husband clearly said, "You and me. Details. Later."
"As a twenty-two year-old male in that era, I would have done it myself," John Hoynes stated, "but not in public; I would have waited until we were behind closed doors. If only to make the apologizing for having done it afterward that much more immediate and interesting."
"And now?" Donna pressed the man.
"It's a moot point. I've matured since then, believe it or not; the type of woman that would attract me has matured. The woman I love would never deliberately put herself in harm's way like that."
"So you guys were pinned, engaged to be engaged? How long?" Josh was drunk, Josh was intrigued, Josh didn't think anything about asking personal things about CJ's past in front of CJ's husband.
"Basically a little more than a year, about seven months after we met," CJ said. "And, actually, the way it happened was kind of romantic. Supposedly, we were going to a cocktail party at some professor's house and when I got to the dorm's main hallway, he was there with a huge bouquet of red roses, all of members of his fraternity behind him. The guys started singing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" in a capella harmony as he gave me the flowers and put the pin on my dress. All the girls in the dorm were down there, a lot of them with dates. Then the fraternity president invited everyone over the house for a party for us. It's a better story than that spanking one." She stuck out her tongue at the man.
"But I didn't think up all that, it was fraternity tradition, based on an older one. If we had been 10 or 12 years older, back in the 60's, everything would have been under your dorm window and I would have had to have climbed a ladder to get to you. The fraternity housemother would have had to have cleared it with your dorm's housemother."
Vic revealed that although he gave Ellie her ring in a park, he had considered proposing to Ellie by seeding Petri dishes to spell out the question, one dish for each letter.
"A moldy proposal! You considered that romantic?" Ginger laughed.
"Well, at least her agents wouldn't have been hanging over our shoulders."
Josh claimed that the most romantic thing he ever did for Donna was to arrange the Great Snowball Caper of Jed Bartlet's second inauguration and wouldn't talk about their biggest fight "because I don't want to remind her what an ass I was".
Sam revealed that the funniest fight he and Morgan had was just last month and involved his contribution to a "just for fun" state motto contest sponsored by the National Governors' Conference. ("California – it's not our fault, it's San Andreas' .")
Rick said that his best romantic effort involved the beach, silk sheets, rose petals, and moonlight; any more details would remain between Ginger and him.
John Hoynes said that he and Margaret hadn't been together long enough to fight and he hadn't had time to do anything romantic; Margaret begged to differ, citing the time he shoveled her steps and sidewalk on St. Valentine's night.
President Santos told how he rented a skywriting plane, took a few lessons, and wished his wife a Happy Mother's Day for her first time.
Charlie thought that sneaking into Zoey's White House bedroom was romantic; as the father of a daughter, Matt Santos begged to differ.
Jean-Luc felt that the most interesting fight with Bonnie could very well be the one they had after he explained his "Fifth Amendment" comment, but also mentioned that the two of them had very strong ideas about when a Christmas tree should be put up and when it should be taken down.
The President was declared the winner on the romance question. As far as the fight issue, it was decided that whatever Josh did or didn't do, it would probably take the prize if it had been revealed.
Later that evening
Danny sat in the loveseat, oozing tired satiation out of every pore. CJ was seated on pillows at his feet, her head resting in his lap. He played gently with her hair. Twice he had moved to lift her up beside him and twice she murmured "in a minute."
She had done this to him yesterday afternoon, prior to the nap they were taking before catching the nighttime red-eye to Washington. He was somewhat surprised that, after they had called Santa Monica to check on Paddy, she had changed into her nightgown, led him to this chair, and ministered to him a second time during this cycle; though not unheard of over the past three years, it usually only happened once per period. Not that he was complaining, mind you.
If she were back to normal, she should be through by tomorrow night. She couldn't explain why the idea of intercourse during her period seemed "icky" to her, nor could she explain why she didn't respond to his hand while wearing internal protection. All she knew was that she had always been this way.
Their individual sex lives had been sporadic prior to the night after Leo's death, but their combined one had been anything but irregular, except for a few weeks around the end of the pregnancies, since then. The four or five day gap once every twenty-eight days wasn't that big an imposition. Her libido went into hibernation for the first three days; her "attentions" stoked his and he always looked forward to their first time after her cycle with anticipation. Tomorrow night, in this hotel room, with emotions raised high by the wedding and with Paddy safely in the care of Frank and Diana, should be very nice.
She lifted her head and got to her knees; he helped her to her feet and then pulled her onto his lap.
Kissing the top of her head, he ran his hand lightly over the curve of her hip.
"That was - "
"A bore? Nice? Earthshattering? None of the above?" she joked.
"I was going to say unexpected, but, yes, very nice, enjoyable."
"Unexpected?"
"After yesterday. I was wondering what brought that on; anything you need to tell me?"
She smiled slowly, reached up and kissed him. "I had to let you know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, how lucky I am to have you in my life." She used the same words Paul had when he cornered her; she had followed his instructions. Maybe later she would tell Danny more detail; for now, this should suffice (she hoped).
"Are you okay? Emotionally, I mean? Did you work out things with Paul?" He knew that she knew he wasn't trying to force her into a conversation about what transpired between her former love and herself, but that if she needed to open up, for either advice or solace, he was there.
"He basically said that God will tell him if and when he's ready for someone else in his life and that until that happens, I should butt out. It's obvious that he and Alicia had the same degree of love as you and I do. What I didn't fully realize until tonight is that back then, his love for me was more, mature, I guess, than mine for him."
"I was just a little concerned; you seemed about to cry earlier."
"Well, it was a bit emotional. Then, add in finding out about Donna. When she said that she was planning to get a tubal after the triplets are born, I flashed back to when I was thinking the same thing that first time, and I had this sense of dejà vu. It was all I could do to keep myself from telling her not to jinx her babies."
"CJ, you didn't jinx our boys," he gently reproved her. "Stop thinking like that. Are you still thinking about us and our attempt at Minnow, the Sequel?"
When it became apparent that the three pregnancies had probably occurred on the same day ("Probably within a few hours of each other," CJ had joked to Danny), and that they had also made love on that day, CJ began to have conflicting thoughts about when they should start trying for a second child. They had been leaning toward a 3 year gap and figured that she would stop taking contraceptives next summer. Now she was wondering if she was taking a chance with her biology, especially after her experiences these past few months.
They hadn't really thought about the fact that she didn't cycle as usual at the end of February; according to the literature, it sometimes happened with the pills. Then, about 10 days later, when she was in Africa for a "Road to a Better World" dedication, she had a late period that was particularly heavy and painful. He had urged her to make an appointment with Scott, but her schedule made it impossible to find the time. In the middle of April, she had a very short, very light period. Last week, Scott did some tests, thinking that she might be starting peri-menopause, but her hormone levels had remained the same as before. However, it did remind them that they did have a limited window of opportunity.
Danny told her he would help her to consider all the pluses and minuses, but the decision had to be hers. He would support whatever she chose. If there were any way, he said, he'd get pregnant for her, but it didn't work that way. She was the one who had been pregnant for 18 months, with only a small break in between; she was the one who would be pregnant for another nine if they were successful. He gently asked her to consider whether she really wanted another baby now because it was the right time for them or because she was maybe feeling just a little on the outside as Bonnie, Donna, and Ginger formed their temporary little club.
Whether it was now or 15 months from now, he was looking forward to trying. They had conceived rather easily the first two times, so they hadn't had to do any of the things that other couples endured. However, there had been something so special, almost mystical, about their lovemaking during those several days each month when the miracle was a possibility.
He remembered the time their first August when he was pretty sure he had given her the twins. It was so slow and gentle, yet so intense. He was braced above her, the two of them staring into each other's eyes as if they thought the other would disappear if they looked away, if they even blinked. Even at his climax, he kept that contact, kept that concentration, kept himself in control, as if he had to deposit his life force with pinpoint accuracy. It was the same for her. She stiffened against him, went through a brief shudder, sighed lightly, and then gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. And then, there was the time about a year later when he swore he could see the zygote that was Paddy go from one cell to sixteen.
He tipped her off his lap and onto the love seat, stood up and pulled her to her feet.
"Let's get to bed, sleepyhead. Tomorrow is a long day."
"And, hopefully, a long night."
That night, as he had almost every night for the past three-plus years, Paul picked up the picture on his nightstand. He had long ago removed the glass; for some reason, touching the matte-finished photographer's paper was sort of like touching her skin, at least, more so than touching cold glass. He traced the outline of his wife's face, the nose, the high cheekbones that were evidence of her Fulani heritage, the full lower lip that he would often gently nip when ending a kiss with her.
"I miss you, my darling, my lifeblood. I would give just about anything short of my immortal soul to have you with me again."
Then he opened the lowest drawer and took out a box. He gently removed the aquamarine negligee and pressed it to his face. It still smelled of her perfume, of Estee Lauder's "Youth Dew", from the last time he had done this, some four months ago; he needn't use any more of the precious remaining drops of the last bottle he had bought for her. Then, no longer holding back, letting the sobs wrack his shoulders and soak the silk, he lay back on the mattress. A bit later, his tears exhausted, he fell asleep with the garment between his face and the pillow.
Saturday morning, May 15, 2010
Paul opened his laptop and accessed the Wells Fargo Bank customer web site. He had long ago closed his accounts with them, except for this one, and the passbook had long since been put away in a safety deposit box, but he had periodically moved a dollar in, or a dollar out, to keep the account from going dormant, from going into escheat. He never knew why he felt compelled to do so; now he knew what he must do.
He made note of the balance and created a transfer to his money market account at another institution; he then requested that the account be closed. After so long, this part of his life was complete.
Although it would take some time for the deposit to clear, he wrote out a check for the amount from the money market account. There was already more than enough to cover the document.
Later that day, when he dressed in the clerical suit he would wear for Carol and David's wedding and the reception following, he slipped the check into his inside breast pocket.
2:00 PM that same day
Danny knocked on the door of the bridal dressing room at the back of the church. The women had spent most of the morning first at brunch and then with the hairdresser and the makeup artist.
"Am I too early?"
"A little, but everyone's pretty much decent, except for Carol," Bonnie let him into the room.
His eyes took in the women. Their dresses were a printed gauzy fabric that resembled one of Monet's "Water Lilies" paintings, but the lining of each of the dresses was a different color and they were wearing shoes and jewelry to match their particular lining color.
Bonnie's dress, with a squared-off sleeveless neckline and an empire waist to accommodate her pregnancy, was lined in pale yellow and she had three pear shaped pendants on a gold herringbone chain around her neck, pear shaped stud earrings, and a gold bracelet with five tiny pear shaped stations, all the stones being pale yellow beryl.
Ginger was accented in pink and Rick had found her jewelry that combined the palest kunzite, light pink sapphire, and darker pink tourmaline in round-cut stones. Her necklace had 25 stones, with the largest and deepest in the center, and the 12 stones on either side becoming progressively lighter and smaller. Her bracelet, however, was tennis-style, with the stones all the same size but alternating in color. The earrings had a three-stone drop, with the lightest color on the stud and the darkest on the bottom. She wore a strapless neckline and she was barely showing, which was a good thing with the slim style of her kick-pleated skirt.
The light green sapphires he had given CJ on Valentine's Day were emerald cut and the necklace and bracelet were both tennis style. Her sleeveless Vee neckline flowed down to a natural waist and an A-line skirt.
"You all look lovely."
"Half of us look pregnant!" Donna exclaimed, playing with her sky-blue topaz jewelry; it was an exact copy of the marquise-cut iolites Hank had found for CJ two years ago.
The fates had been kind to Donna when she decided against a halter top for her blue-lined dress. After talking with CJ and hearing about how removing a lining could turn a "wear only once" bridesmaid dress into a nightgown, she went with a Grecian tunic with gathers flowing from under the "cross your heart" style of the bodice. She certainly needed the extra fabric to cover her triplet-filled bulge.
Danny told Donna that she looked marvelous and Margaret agreed with him.
He was surprised when he saw Margaret. CJ had told him about two months ago that Margaret had called her and asked if she could borrow the iolites for the wedding. However, Margaret was wearing a very striking trillion-cut amethyst slide, about an inch on each side, on a quarter-inch wide gold choker, matching stud earrings about a half-inch to the side, and a gold bangle bracelet set with three stones the same size as the earrings. Her dress had a pale purple lining and it was a one-shoulder sheath, something like the negligee that Abbey had given CJ three years ago, except that the slit on the left side only went up to Margaret's knees.
Danny went up to CJ. "Margaret's jewelry?" he asked in a low voice.
"Apparently John found overheard her talking with Donna about borrowing my stuff and asked Carol what was it all about. Then he went out and bought her what she's got on."
"It's very striking."
"Tell me about it. She doesn't have as much stone as the rest of us, but that's a lot of gold on her neck and her wrist."
"Well, I guess he's letting the rest of us know his intentions."
"I'm sure." Then she whispered something in his ear and his eyes lit up.
It was time to get Carol into her dress.
"Danny, avert your eyes for a second," Margaret said. "The bra is built into the dress, so she's naked up top."
"Can I peek now?"
"Nothing much to see," Carol laughed.
When he opened his eyes, Carol's back was toward him and CJ was pulling on some strings while Ginger and Margaret were holding the two sides of the back of the ivory satin strapless dress against her. Then CJ looped the strings around each other and Bonnie put her fingers on the half-knot while CJ tied them into a big bow. It looked for all the world as if they were fastening a sneaker on her back.
"Should I double over the loops?" CJ asked.
"I don't think so." Apparently, Donna was supervising. "It might confuse the poor man." Carol's mom and Cousin Elsie looked up from their champagne and giggled.
"So all David has to do is pull - ", Danny stated.
"Yep, Carol said. "When Michaela and Sully got married on 'Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman', her dress was like this and when he pulled on the laces and separated the back, I thought it was so romantic."
"A lot easier than 57 tiny little buttons with loops," Danny glared at CJ.
"You enjoyed it. Abbey told me she told you about the zipper, so you had options."
"At first, poor Jean-Luc thought mine were snaps and he pulled about ten of them off the dress before he realized," Bonnie giggled. "He was so-o-o apologetic!"
"I wasn't about to give Josh anything more complicated than a zipper. I even thought about Velcro but the dressmaker couldn't get it to work."
"They took the time to take off the dress?" Ginger asked.
CJ asked Carol's mom if she wanted to help with the veil and the two of them fastened the tiara in place.
The intercom in the room buzzed and CJ answered it.
"I have one extremely nervous groom back here with me," Paul said. "Do we have an ETA on the mother of the bride?"
CJ relayed the information and the two older women left the dressing room. The five attendants checked Carol for any final adjustments, smoothing the slightly flared skirt, adjusting David's mother's pearls, and then helping her with the elbow-length gloves, making sure that the slit ring finger on the left hand was properly opened.
After last minute hugs and kisses for the bride, final checks of their own appearances, and a lapel smoothing for Danny, they left Carol to Danny's devices.
The opening bars of Pachibel's Canon could be heard through the door. The ushers, Bonnie, Donna, Ginger, Margaret, and CJ would be beginning their procession down the aisle.
"In a few minutes, they'll be playing our song."
"Yeah."
Danny looked over at Carol. The feeling he had since yesterday was still there. Something was wrong, more than pre-wedding jitters. David gave all the appearances of being a total standup guy, head over heels in love with his fiancée, but if Carol wasn't sure about this marriage – he slipped into his role as surrogate father/big brother.
"Carol, what's wrong? Honey, if it isn't right, if you have any doubts about David, I'll go out there and stop this. It's no problem."
"Danny, I want this! I love David very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him."
"But something's going on, I can sense it."
She was about to deny it but realized that he read her only too well. Once an investigative reporter, always an investigative reporter. She took a deep breath.
"Danny, can you keep a secret? Even from CJ? Nobody knows; I mean, David knows, of course - " At the sight of her smile, he knew that whatever the issue was, it wasn't David.
"Just between you and me, kiddo."
She sighed. "We just figured it out three days ago, did the test. My mother, you've seen how she is, so, so- "
"Traditional? Uptight? Unless she's been drinking champagne?"
"Yeah. Well, in eight months, I'm going to give her a premature grandchild."
"Honey, that's wonderful! Or, maybe you and David don't want - ?"
"Oh, no, we want the baby. I mean, David, I had to threaten a celibate honeymoon to keep him from putting a half-page announcement in the Post." Danny smiled, remembering how primal male he felt when he and CJ had learned about the twins and then Paddy, the way Josh, Jean-Luc, and Rick reacted when "the Valentine caper" was mentioned, and, of course, Josh's over-the-topness about the triplets. "But my mother will make me feel so mortified. She'll go on and on about how everyone will say I had to get married."
"Carol, when did you and David get engaged?"
"Last August".
"Nine months ago. And when did you set this date?"
"At that time."
"So God chose to play a bit with time; that's His prerogative, he's God. Your wedding and your baby are in God's hands, in God's time."
"Thank you, Danny, and thank you for doing this for me."
"Carol, I'm the one who needs to thank you. CJ and I may never have a little girl; I may never get the chance to do this again. Thank you for letting me have the experience.
The music stopped and the church's wedding coordinator knocked on the door.
He bent down to kiss her cheek, and then gently lowered the blusher veil over her face and shoulders. "Let's go make an honest woman out of you. And only you, David, and I will know that there will be four pregnant women at the altar instead of three."
Later that day.
"I'm too old, CJ! I've got to sit!" Danny led his wife away from the dance floor. The DJ was doing a fast oldies set. They made it through "Shout", "Satisfaction", "Get off of My Cloud", "Rock Around the Clock", "Joy to the World", and "Surfing USA", but he gave out at the beginning of "The Bird".
They sat down with Jed and Abbey Bartlet.
"So Nancy's got a boyfriend named Jesse?" Jed asked.
"Jésus Ignaçio Muñoz, DDS. Frank's nephew," Danny answered. "They seem to have hit it off quite well. For a while, we were afraid that her father would guilt her into staying single, but I guess Mr. Estevez was just waiting for a nice Hispanic guy to take care of her. He's a bit old-fashioned, and CJ will tell you, coming from me, that says something."
"Dentist!" Abbey's eyes lit up. "Good money, good hours. Now tell me more about this friend of yours who's dancing with Liz. All I know is that he's a widower, went to Dartmouth. They do look good together."
"He's a Protestant minister, Abbey!" Jed exclaimed.
"She could do a lot worse, Jethro! CJ, do you think he might be interested in marrying again?"
Danny laughed and CJ said, "Abbey, I've already gotten in enough hot water over that. Last night I promised him to not 'sin' anymore, I got absolution and I did my penance; I'm not about to get into it again."
"Penance?" Danny asked in a whisper.
"We'll discuss it later."
The set ended and Paul and Liz joined them at the table.
"And now a set of slow oldies," announced the DJ, starting the first selection.
The words were addressed to the man, but the eyes were focused on the woman. "Danny, may I dance with your wife?"
"Of course," came the answer, but she was already up and they were moving to the floor. Liz grabbed her father's hand; Danny turned to Abbey and asked her to join him on the dance floor.
CJ and Paul moved in unison to the song to which they danced the night she accepted his pin, each lost in the memories the song evoked. The silence between them was broken only once, when he softly sang along with the chorus.
"You're once, twice, three times a lady."
As the Commodores' song ended and Neil Diamond's "September Morn" started, Danny saw Paul reach into his breast pocket and hand something to CJ. She looked at it, then up at him. He talked for a while, then she reached up, stroked his cheek, and wiped her fingers against her eyes.
After Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes off of You", Elvis' "It's Now or Never", Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight", and Rod Stewart's "You're in my Heart", the DJ played "Hungry Eyes" and Paul began to feel a bit too emotionally involved with the lyrics of the songs being played. They were all hits from the time they were together. He danced CJ over to Danny and Abbey.
"I've never danced with a First Lady. Would you mind taking your wife off my hands?" He danced away with Abbey, extremely happy with his decision as the next song, Exile's "Kiss You All Over", started playing.
Danny held CJ close , "dirty dancing" style, singing along with the lyrics. "Stay with me, lay with me, holding me, loving me, baby". The words she had whispered in his ear in the dressing room ("I'm back in service, by the way.") made him wish they could leave the reception early, but as matron of honor, CJ had to be there until Carol left, at least.
When he pulled back, Danny could see a few tears in his wife's eyes. "CJ, sweetheart?"
She took one of her arms from around his neck and held a piece of paper in front of him. It was a check from Paul made out to "Road to a Better World"; the amount was $2,528.64.
He made the obvious comment about the odd amount.
"Right after we got pinned, he started saving to buy me a ring, planned to ask me senior year, two years to the day that we - . Twenty dollars a week for a little over a year, working a few extra hours a month, giving up beer and cokes during the week, eating more tuna fish. He said that when we broke up, he couldn't bring himself to spend it on anything, so he just let it sit there, accruing interest. Even when he found Alicia, he said it would have been like actually giving her the ring he had bought for me. Eventually, he decided he would use it for his daughter's wedding, but then Alicia died and her college sorority set up a fund for that. Yesterday, when he, ah, talked, to me, he said something and when I looked at him funny, he realized that I had no idea he had been saving, and he suddenly knew what he had to do with the money. What did I ever do to deserve him back then and now have someone as wonderful as you in my life?" She leaned her head on his shoulder.
"You were your wonderful self." He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped at the tears. Elvis' "Love Me Tender" was playing. "I'm glad the two of you got a chance to deal with all of this. Now tell me more about this 'Penance' thing."
Whispering in his ear, she told him of the end of her conversation with Paul the previous night and he told her that he wished that Fr. Luke's penances were as interesting.
Later, when CJ was dancing in the Pony line with Andy, Toby, Ed, Larry, Ainsley, Kate, the entire Bartlet Administration, really, it was Danny's turn to bring the beers and sit down with Paul. "You know, you're quite an act to follow."
"You're the star; I was just the opening act. Oops, I didn't mean - " the man blushed at the unintended double meaning of his statement.
Danny laughed. Then his voice turned serious. "Last fall, when I found the lump in her breast and then they found more - "
"I'm glad I didn't find out about that until it was resolved. After losing Alicia, it's been very hard whenever someone I've cared about, my old roommate, my aunt, had to wait for a report. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."
"No problem. Anyway, after it was over, I got to thinking about my own mortality as well, the thought that I might leave her alone, with the baby."
"That's common. You need to be aware of the possibility, make sure you don't take her, or him, for granted, but you can't dwell on it." Paul easily slipped into minister mode; he had had this discussion many times with many people. This is part of what God wanted him to do: help others accept the awful realization that one day, either they or their spouse would be left without the other, without letting it overwhelm the time, however long or short, they had with each other.
"I'm concerned that if anything were to happen to me – I mean, she's doing great things, may do even greater things in the future, but she needs someone to pull back on the strings if she flies too close to the sun, someone to love her unconditionally whatever the outside world might bring. And my son needs a father as well as a mother, at this age. It's obvious that you and she still have a bond, and it's obvious that you and I are finding a chord between us, so if something were to happen to me, I want you to - "
Paul wasn't going to mouth the platitude that nothing was going to happen to Danny; he knew that sometimes, bad things happen. "Danny, if that were to come to pass, I would definitely counsel her to be open to another love if that's what God intends, but - "
"Paul, if something happens to me, and you are still single, I want you to marry her, love her, cherish her, restrain her, raise my son for me."
"Whew. I see." Except that Paul didn't see that coming. "Danny, I - "
"I'm just saying - "
"Just saying what?" CJ ran her hands over Danny's head, plopped down on his lap. "Carol and David are about to do the bouquet and garter thing. I told Toby to get up there. I know better than to say anything to you," she looked at Paul, "but be warned, you are now on Abbey Bartlet's radar, and if you think I was meddling where I didn't belong -"
Danny's cell rang; it was Frank Muñoz' cell. They could also hear CJ's phone going off in her purse.
"Hey, Frank."
"Danny, it's Diana. Is CJ there with you? I'm trying to get her on my phone in case she isn't."
"What's the matter, Diana, what's wrong with Paddy?"
CJ, in the midst of getting her phone out of her purse, jerked up her head at those words.
"Nothing's wrong. Oh, good, Frank's got the camcorder going. Where's CJ?"
"She's here." He listened for a second. "What! Let me put you on speaker and say that again."
Diana was a mother four times over and she was pretty sure she had the signs down pat, especially given her experience with Maggie just last week. "I think your son is about to take his first steps solo. I'm going to send pictures and Frank is taping. Can you answer CJ's phone? I'll try to talk on one and snap with the other."
They could hear Frank in the background. "That's a boy! Go on, go to Tia Diana".
Then from Carmen, "Here, Mom, let me work the camera."
"Come on, sweetie," Diana urged, then a big "Hooray for Paddy!" could be heard. CJ's phone showed their son standing right foot in front of left, not holding on to anything, then a shot with left foot first, then another right first, and a fourth with left first, and finally falling into Diana's outstretched arms.
CJ was crying and laughing; Danny was grinning from ear to ear. Frank's voice came over the speaker. "I got it all on video, guys.
"Thanks, Frank, Diana. I guess we knew we were taking a chance, coming here for three days at this stage." Danny hugged CJ with one arm.
"My baby's walking!" CJ exclaimed.
"You're in the deep end of parenthood now," Paul laughed. "I think I should say my good-byes to the bride and groom and my good-nights to everyone else."
"Okay. We'll be by tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to hearing you preach."
He shook Danny's hand, kissed her cheek, and headed to the newlyweds.
Sunday May 16, 2010
Paul stood on the steps of the old church, in full ministerial robes and stole, shaking hands with the exiting congregation, introducing them to the handsome young man and the beautiful young woman standing with him.
CJ and Danny came up as the rest of the throng melted away.
"I'm so glad you came!" the minister beamed, and put an arm around the two young people. "This is Derrick and this is Deborah, just home from school. Kids, I'd like you to meet - "
"CJ Cregg and Danny Concannon!" The young man took the hand that CJ had already extended.
She had forgotten that he was studying Political Science at Oberlin and would probably know about her, know who she was.
He was the image of his father at that age. Looking at him, she was, for several seconds, carried back to that day in the Berkeley book store, when she juggled her books and the tall, handsome guy in front of her, who just happened to be there because the clerk at the Law School book store told him that the sold-out text he needed for his "History of Western Jurisprudence" course was also used in one of the Poli Sci graduate school courses and he might get a copy at the general campus bookstore, grabbed the two she dropped, quietly but insistently took most of her other books from her, and then thoroughly charmed her, first into coffee, then into a dance, and finally into his heart and his bed.
"Dad, how do you know - "
"Your father and I met at Berkeley, when he was in Law School," CJ explained.
"Mr. and Mrs. Concannon are in town for the wedding yesterday afternoon and a graduation at Georgetown Law later today," Paul elaborated.
They talked for a bit more. Deborah, who had Paul's eyes and smile, said she was honored to meet Danny, that she was thinking of trying for Columbia's Graduate School of Journalism when she finished at Miami of Ohio.
After a bit, Danny cracked a joke about needing to get over to Georgetown for the 12:30 PM Mass and "wiping out the heresy to which we've been exposed."
"Unless things have changed lately, you'll hear just about the same thing. I think only the first reading, the Acts, is different in your Lectionary. Two sermons in a row on the same scriptures."
"But it'll be shorter. We filthy Papists aren't used to sitting still for more than 15 minutes of talking. We need to get all our liturgical calisthenics in."
"Well, enjoy the graduation, congratulate Charlie again for me, and have a safe trip back home tomorrow. Keep in touch."
"Enjoy your summer with your kids. Come out and see us anytime," Danny replied. "And about what I said last night: I meant it."
"All I can promise, Danny, is that if the situation arises, I will pray over what you asked."
"What was that all about?" CJ asked.
"I'll tell you later."
Later that day.
"Charles Young."
There was a huge amount of applause, cheering, even some whistling, as Sam placed the purple-lined hood, indicative of the Juris Doctor degree, over Charlie's head and draped it on the purple-trimmed robe.
Josh, one of the whistlers, thought back to that day almost twelve years ago when the nervous, shy young lad, a boy, really, kept insisting that he was only there for the messenger job. He thought of a line he heard long ago, while attending some Episcopalian service. "And the child grew in wisdom, age, and grace." That certainly described what had transpired with Charlie. Over that time he had developed into a sauve and debonair man, had raised a sister, had won, lost, and then won again the heart of Zoey Patricia Bartlet. In six weeks, he would become son-in-law to the man who already considered him to be son.
Josh looked over at Zoey, who was desperately trying to forget, for a few hours, the trauma associated with this part of May, with this place, to share the joy of her husband-to-be. Josh understood more than anyone else how hard this was for Zoey and had been keeping an eye on her. She sat there, her mother's arm around her, her father's hand on hers. While the rest of them were looking forward to the big dinner that Jed and Abbey were hosting for Charlie this evening, he knew that Zoey was counting the hours until she could leave.
Josh had talked with Charlie about it a month ago and was pleased that Charlie totally understood how Zoey felt and was not "playing the martyr" about her not being there for the pre-graduation parties last week. "I just want to be able to start our grown-up lives together, Josh. In July, I'm going to say 'In good times and in bad' and I mean those words already. We've waited so long. I want what everyone else has; so does she. We'll figure it out."
And Josh knew that they would.
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My external characters are patterned on people I know (generally mixes, not just one person) and I have an idea of how most of them look. Some of them look like famous, well-known people. For example, I've already mentioned that Steve, one of CJ and Danny's gay neighbors, looks like Billy Dee Williams did in "The Empire Strikes Back" and that Linda Tallchief, Paddy's pediatrician, looks like Cher "with about 10 or 15 more pounds and a lot less makeup", to quote Frank Munoz, who, by the way, looks like Esai Morales. FWIW, Jessica looks like Tess Harper when she played Fairlight Spencer on "Christy".
When imagining the "current" Paul, I always thought of the recently deceased Ed Bradley, when he first started working for "60 Minutes". With his death last week, the Washington Post published a series of photos, and one of them captured "2010 Paul" perfectly. I have the link if anyone wants to see. Take away the gray, the age lines, and the beard and you have "Paul of the early 80's")