Disclaimer: I own everything but their names.
July 17, 2001 – Santa Cruz, California
The assurance I'd offered, that I wasn't going anywhere, seemed to set Edward off. Like someone removing all the rocks from a dam so water could flow freely toward its destination, something inside him sprang free, too. He removed the mask he'd been wearing that clouded the want and desire he held for me on the inside. And, oh my god, was the hidden portion freaking beautiful.
Leaning forward, he kissed me roughly, pushing himself up and over until we were a tangled mess of limbs and lips on top of that old sofa in the back of his shop.
The leather beneath us creaked and groaned as we moved. The blue lights of a neon sign that hung on the wall above us cast a shadow of Edward's red tinged cheeks and hooded eyes as he pressed smiling kisses into my chin, my lips and then the tip of my nose. All I could do was smile back and wrap my hands tightly in the material of his shirt.
My heart pounded against his chest, like it wanted to be let out so it could touch him, too. His hands roamed: my thighs; my hips; slipping just beneath the material of my shirt…touching just enough to remind me that this time, he wasn't just a dream.
All of that had really happened. Edward wanted me. He had always wanted me. And I had just made a decision to sacrifice all the things I'd pictured for my future to be with him.
With that thought, something inside me seized, fear squeezing my chest as my mind filled with doubts and fears. I'd just given up all of that, but what if he decided I wasn't good enough? What if he got bored and pushed me away again? How was this going to work? Was I his girlfriend now? How were we going to tell the people we knew? Werewe going to tell them?
I needed answers; I needed things to be clearer before we moved forward. I might have been young, but as I'd told Edward, I wasn't a child. I wasn't stupid. It scared me to think that at any second he could just change his mind and decide I wasn't worth the effort. If he was going to make me promise him that I would stay, he had to reciprocate on a few points in return.
I pushed against Edward's chest, sucking in a few short breaths. My lips tasted like him. My nose was full of that ocean water perfection that he wore like a badge of honor.
Edward froze, pulling his upper body away from mine as he stared down at me with fear in his eyes. He breathed roughly, lifting one of his hands to my cheek. "What is it, beautiful?"
A blush colored my face at the nickname he'd used, and I looked away. I suddenly felt all awkward and out of place. Edward's fingers skimmed across my cheek soothingly.
"I just…" I huffed, frustrated with myself. I'd been so brave just minutes before, and now I was having trouble telling him what exactly I'd been thinking. "God, this is awkward, but I have to ask… I have to know. What happens now?"
He sat back on his knees, pulling my body with him until I was perched atop his thighs. After some very crafty wiggling and lifting, he'd stretched his legs out beneath me. In that position, I felt a little nervous (and a whole lot vulnerable), but I forced myself to stay still as I waited for him to answer my question.
He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "I— told you, it's been a while since I was in a relationship." He attempted a smile.
At his mention of the word 'relationship' I was pretty sure my heart jumped out of my chest. "Is that what this is?" I asked. "A relationship?"
Edward bit his lip, moving his hands until his fingers traced the tops of my thighs. He looked nervous and vulnerable all of a sudden as well, and something in that look made me feel better. He was older, yes, but right now we were equals.
He peeked at me from beneath his lashes, whispering, "Is that what you want it to be?"
I covered my hands with his, stopping his movement, and laughed a little. "You haven't figured that out yet?"
"Yeah?" He smiled, and I swear the room lit up.
I was fighting a mega-watt-smile of my own. "Yeah."
He slid his fingers around the sides of my legs, resting them between where thigh met calf and gripped tightly. "No more Nahuel, then?"
Oh, goodness, not this again. Narrowing my eyes, I pursed my lips. "I guess not," I said with a sigh.
"You're not funny."
"I'm very funny, ask anyone."
His eyebrows lifted and he gave me this look that clearly said he wasn't kidding; he wanted some kind of confirmation that Nahuel wasn't even on my radar, and that I was serious about everything I'd said.
Scooting forward, I kissed him softly. "You don't have to worry."
He pulled back and looked at me with pain in his eyes. "I've heard that before and it was a lie. You'll have to forgive me if I'm a little uneasy."
My heart hurt for him. "Does that mean she—"
"Yes, but can we just… be done with the heavy stuff for a little bit? I'd like to enjoy this."
There were still questions I had, and it made me anxious to think of not having all the answers right then, but the look in his eyes told me it wasn't the best time to push. Plus, I wanted to enjoy it, too.
"What would you like to talk about, then?" I asked.
Edward tapped his chin in thought and then grinned. "What's your favorite color?"
I couldn't help it, I giggled. That hadn't been at all what I was expecting. "Seriously?"
He lifted one shoulder. "Humor me."
"Okay, fine. My favorite color is red."
His eyes smoldered and my insides tingled. "Feisty. It suits you." He leaned forward and kissed me again.
"And yours?" I asked against his mouth, playing along with his little game.
"If I answer, you have to promise you're not gonna laugh."
"I promise," I said. Edward narrowed his eyes like he didn't believe. "Come on," I begged. "What is it?"
His eyes danced between each of mine and I held my breath. He reached up and twirled a piece of my hair around his finger. "Purple."
I bit my lower lip to keep from giggling, but it was too difficult. Purple?I would have expected something manly, like blue or green or black… but definitely not purple. Then I thought back to our day on the beach, and how he'd chosen the purple crayon from the little cup when we were having dinner at the pizzeria.
It struck me as odd then, but I hadn't thought anything of it. Now it made sense.
"Hey, you promised you weren't gonna laugh!" he said, already laughing himself.
"I'm sorry," I wheezed out between giggles. "Purple, though? Why?"
Edward shrugged. "I don't know, I've just always liked it… especially recently."
"Why recently?"
He leaned in, burying his nose in my hair and inhaling. "Because you look really good in purple."
Maaaaan, yesterday's chapter really has you guys fearing the worst! I'd like to be able to put your mind at ease, but since I can't do that without giving away too much, I will say that this is the halfway point, and we still have a lot left to go with these two. Truly, this is just the beginning for them. ;)
I would like to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you that reads, reviews, tweets and everything else. Seriously, it never fails to surprise me when a story of mine is liked by one person, let alone this many. I am completely overwhelmed and absolutely floored by your kind words and love, and I'm doing my best to catch up on replies, but it's going to take me a few days, so for that I apologize.
Reviews are love.
Until tomorrow!
xx