I've added a section on my profile- 'Fic Status'. Progress on future chapters will be recorded there, and the info there will be accurate.
So, a character in this chapter was taken from two obscure Naruto episodes. One was complete crap, and was really only an excuse to get the Uchiha brothers in cat ears. But I found some of the concepts in it useful, so I've used them here. Other than that, for all intents and purposes, that episode never happened in my fic's universe. Got it? No cat ears here. Pawprint Encyclopedia, yes. Over the top ridiculousness, no. Oh, Naruto filler...
beta: Icescim
The Philosophy of Self
Chapter Fourteen
They headed north-northeast, toward what Itachi said was an old Uchiha stronghold, from before the founding of Konoha. He said they were 'going to visit an old friend.' It occurred to Sakura that she might want to worry about that. What kind of friends did S-class nukenin Uchiha Itachi have? But Kakashi seemed undisturbed, and was following Itachi without hesitation, so she pushed her mistrust to the back of her mind.
But she'd still keep a wary eye on him. She wasn't an idiot.
Itachi was very much aware of the sidelong looks both Sakura and Naruto were giving him. He was aware of the wariness, the mistrust, the unease. He was weary of it. For too long he had been hated and feared by everyone around him—for nearly his entire life, he had been looked at with combined awe and fear, since he had first began to show his abilities and his intellect. His clan had feared him
:—they were right to—:
because he had been the genius, the pinnacle. So much higher, so much more than they. They had feared their inability to control him.
His comrades had feared him
:—the looks of horror when assignments placed them on his Team, and the whispers—:
because he'd been so strong, so young, and they couldn't understand him. Because he'd been an Uchiha, and that name had always carried weight.
The Massacre, and all that came after it, gave them reasons. Turned the shadow of fear into a monster of terror. Itachi knew that there was a 'flee on sight' order in his Bingo Book profile; the Sandaime had placed it there, because, after all, Itachi was still working for Konoha and it wouldn't do to kill their own operative. But nobody knew that. For them, the order was because he was mad, blood-thirsty, and all too capable of slaughtering his opponents.
Nobody knew Itachi's true, pacifistic nature. That part of him, hidden so long, and so drowned in blood, was a source of constant pain for him. Pain of the soul, which was not so easy to heal.
He was so tired of it all…
:Once we find Sasuke,: he thought wearily. :After that, I will finally be able to rest.:
They were drawing closer to their destination, and Itachi held up the signal for 'stop.' Obediently, they all came to a complete stand-still, but remained poised for whatever might come next. He turned to them. "We're close; her sentries will have noted our presence. From here, we walk."
"What are these places? You called it a stronghold," Sakura wanted to know, though she walked along with them willingly.
"After the Senju and Uchiha ended their war and founded Konoha, the Clan still maintained and used their bases," Itachi said, over his shoulder. "This one was turned into a re-supply station, and a safe-house."
"You said we were visiting an old friend," Sakura said. "So, does that mean that people have been living in those old strongholds?"
"Just this one," Itachi replied after a pause.
"Is he… er, she… an Uchiha?"
"No." They forged ahead.
Sakura was still chewing on the tidbit of information Itachi had given them when they apparently got close enough to their destination that those living there took notice.
However, the perimeter guards that hailed them were definitely not the type Sakura would have ever expected.
"Humans, nyaan! Humans are in our forest." The voice yowled out from the trees around them.
They all stopped dead, and Naruto and Sakura's heads whipped around, trying to locate the source. Itachi seemed unperturbed, and bowed to their surroundings.
"Greetings," he said. "And may you hunt well and plenty."
"A well-mannered human, nya?" purred a second voice, closer.
Sakura looked up, in time to see a small grey tabby cat leap from a branch to land in front of Itachi. She blinked; were these cats like Kakashi's dogs?
"Neko-baa-sama taught me well," Itachi told the tabby solemnly. "May we see her?"
"Mmmmrrr," hummed the queen. She licked her tail a little before replying. "I think she'll want to see you, Sasuke-who-isn't."
"You can tell?" blurted Naruto. The cat looked at him down her nose. "You can tell he's not Sasuke?"
"Cats don't see the world exactly as we do," Sakura murmured. "They've always been said to see things we humans can't."
"It's obvious he's not Sasuke," another voice said with true cat-ish scorn. A mottled black-and-white tomcat slid around a tree trunk and sat, the tip of his tail flicking as he eyed them dubiously. "What business do you have with Neko-baa?"
"Your pardon, but we should not voice that aloud here," Itachi said.
"Hrrrr," the tomcat huffed a little annoyed growl, looking away from them and narrowing his eyes.
"I will lead you to her, nya," said the tabby. "Follow me."
Itachi took the time to bow to the tom before following, so Kakashi and Sakura did so as well. With a nudge, Naruto dipped a shallow one, still grumbling about the cat's insults.
They passed by several more felines of varying color, size, and gender along the way. The tabby led them through the forest to a rather decrepit looking building, the stone of it crumbling at the edges. The little queen trotted right through the doorway, down a flight of stairs, and through a couple corridors before stopping in front of a closed door. The condition of the structure had improved steadily the further inward they'd gotten, which Sakura belated realized was because the outside had been damaged by war and siege, while the innermost areas had been left unscathed.
Old Uchiha stronghold, indeed.
Itachi knocked politely on the door. The lock gave a small click, and the door creaked slowly open. The tabby eeled through the opening once it was big enough. Itachi pushed it open the rest of the way for the humans.
The room beyond was considerably warmer than the corridor, both in temperature and in comfort. The floor here was covered with tatami, scattered with cushions and cats. The lighting was a comfortable yellow, and at a good brightness.
"Hello again, Neko-baa-sama. I hope you are well," Itachi said, bowing to the old woman seated at a low table against the wall. The tabby queen that had led them there was in her lap, smug and purring.
The woman didn't answer right away, but she inclined her head. A trio of cats detached themselves from the surroundings and converged on Itachi. Circling, sniffing, and rubbing against his shins, it didn't look like they meant any harm, so Sakura took the opportunity to study the woman—Neko-baa-sama.
The woman was old and wrinkled, her grey hair standing out around her head like a mane. She had a headband on that pushed it back, away from her face. Her face was lined, but Sakura thought that most of the wrinkles seemed to be ones generally acquired by smiling, though the smile was currently absent. She was gently petting the tabby on her lap with a gnarled old hand.
The trio of cats finished their inspection of Itachi and joined Neko-baa. She held out a hand to them, which each of them nudged with a nose.
Finally, she spoke. "It has been a while, Itachi-kun."
"Yes," Itachi agreed. Neko-baa rubbed one of the cat trio under the chin.
"I had heard that you were dead."
"I was," he admitted. "But I got better."
The old woman laughed creakily, amused. Her face welcomed her smile like an old friend, the lines around her mouth and the corners of her eyes deepening. "Come closer, boy, and introduce your friends."
Itachi went to her, up to an arm's reach away, and sat down. "These are Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura, of Konoha."
"Konoha, eh? Then you've finally gotten to go back?"
"After a fashion," Itachi said, with some guardedness.
Neko-baa hummed thoughtfully. She looked over Team Seven closely. Her nose twitched at Kakashi and Naruto. "Dogs and foxes," she said.
"I contract ninken," Kakashi said. "And Naruto is the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki."
Neko-baa nodded, then glanced at Sakura, who had knelt down to greet a curious and friendly kitten. Sakura froze in the middle of rubbing the kitten's cheek with a gentle finger. "I…er…"
"I like her!" declared the kitten in a tiny, high voice. "She smells good!"
"I will vouch for them all, myself," Itachi added, as Neko-baa crooked a finger at the kitten.
The little one galloped over to the elderly woman, and pounced onto the hem of her pants leg. Neko-baa withstood the attack, and offered a hand to the kitten, who gave it a nudge with his little black nose.
"Very well," Neko-baa said. "Now that we all know each other…"
"Excuse me, um… Neko-baa-sama?" Naruto said hesitantly. "But who are you?"
"Isn't it obvious?" she asked, confused. "I am Neko-baa. The Cat Sage."
"I think he meant, why are you here?" Sakura put in quietly.
"Aaaah," Neko-baa said, drawing the sound out in a sigh. She leaned back. "I have long been a friend to Itachi-kun's family, down through his mother's line. Long ago I was given this place as my own, as long as I helped and resupplied Uchiha clanmembers who came to me."
"How long have you been here?" Naruto asked. Neko-baa cackled.
"Longer than you know, but not as long as you're thinking!"
Sakura's kitten had returned to twine around her ankles in an infinity loop. Sakura held very still, not wanting to step on or kick the little bit of black fluff.
"I have not seen another Uchiha in a good while," Neko-baa added, to Itachi. "In fact, I think the last time was your brother, before he killed you."
Sakura flinched. Tact was apparently not on Neko-baa's list of skills.
"And before that?" Itachi asked quietly.
"Last time I saw an Uchiha, excluding your brother's last visit, was after the Massacre. It was, come to think of it, you." She paused, then shrewdly asked: "What are you fishing for?"
"We are hunting Uchiha Madara," Itachi said bluntly. "I had hoped you might know something of him. Or failing that, that you might give me permission to speak to Aomaru."
"Madara?" Neko-baa sounded genuinely surprised. "He is still alive?"
"Unfortunately," Sakura muttered.
"May I speak to Aomaru?" Itachi asked.
"Yes, alright," Neko-baa said. "Denka, show him the way."
One of the trio of cats that had inspected Itachi stood and trotted away, throwing over its shoulder an imperious: "Come on, then."
Itachi followed. When Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi moved to go along with him, Neko-baa stopped them. "No. Itachi only. Aomaru does not like visitors, and isn't fond of non-Uchiha."
"Who is Aomaru?" Kakashi asked, as Itachi disappeared through the door.
"Aomaru is a cat," Neko-baa said. "If there is any living creature in this world that cats would defer to, it would be him. He was Uchiha Izuna's cat."
"Who?"
Neko-baa looked at Naruto. "Madara's brother. Madara killed him and took his eyes to achieve the Eternal Mangekyo."
"Shiiiit," Naruto breathed. "So, why does Itachi want to talk to this cat?"
"Because Aomaru remembers Madara's scent. And he is powerful enough that he could catch the trail even just from here."
"Huh." Naruto blinked, looking impressed.
"Neko-baa-sama," Sakura said, after a pause. The Cat Sage hummed, without look up from the cat whose long fur she was brushing. "You sounded like you knew Itachi-san very well."
"I watched that child grow up, him and his brother," Neko-baa confirmed.
"Then, could you maybe tell us a little about him?" Sakura asked. She had to fight to keep from squirming when Neko-baa's wise old eyes watched her for a long moment.
"You aren't sure of him," Neko-baa noted. "He's on your Team, but you all hold him apart."
"It's hard," Sakura said. "It's hard to just forget the past several years. Ever since I had first heard his name, he's been a figure of evil to me. It's been a struggle to come to grips with this new truth we've been given."
"He plays the villain very convincingly," Kakashi put in dryly.
Neko-baa was nodding absently. "The shadow that boy casts is darker than it should be.
"Alright. I will tell you of my experience with Itachi-kun."
"Thank you," Sakura bowed.
"At first, Itachi came here with his father. When he got older, he started to be sent here on errands alone. He was always courteous and gentle with the cats, and shy and quiet. The first time he brought Sasuke-kun along with him, it was obvious how besotted he was with his little brother," Neko-baa's voice took on a fond tone. "Itachi-kun doted on Sasuke-kun."
The Cat Sage stood creakily, and shuffled over to a lacquer box against the opposite wall. She dug around in it for a moment before turning around and displaying a small hand-bound book.
"Young Sasuke-kun would often get bored when he came along with Itachi-kun on errands. So Itachi-kun made up a mission for him," she told Team Seven. "This is the result of that. Itachi-kun tasked Sasuke-kun with collecting the pawprints of the fastest, most nimble cats here."
"There are a lot of pawprints," Naruto observed, as Neko-baa leafed through the book.
"Sasuke-kun tried hard to impress his brother. And Itachi-kun listened very attentively when Sasuke-kun recounted his adventures," the old woman said. "The game stopped when Itachi-kun's father had determined it a waste of Itachi-kun's abilities to send him on simple fetch-and-carry errands. I think Sasuke-kun was five."
"But you still kept the pawprint book," Sakura said softly. Neko-baa stroked the cover of the book.
"No. One day, several years ago, Itachi-kun came back one more time. His hitai-ate had the nukenin slash through it. He gave me the book, and told me to take care of it. Then he left."
"That must have been right after the Massacre," Kakashi said, thoughtfully.
"He'd kept it?" Sakura was surprised. "But they wouldn't have used it for years! If Sasuke was five when they stopped… Three years. He kept it all that time?"
"Itachi-kun loved his brother," Neko-baa said simply.
"I… I guess so," Sakura said, feeling conflicted. The more she learned about Itachi, the more she came to believe that he was actually one of the 'good guys.' But if everything about him screamed 'I'm not evil!' then how had the entirety of Konoha come to believe just that?
:Because he's also a very good ninja, and ninja lie. Ninja put on disguises.:
It probably hadn't hurt that everyone had feared him from the start, for being so powerful.
:Oh no. It's starting. I'm starting to feel bad for him. But if I do that, then I won't be able to keep it together if he betrays us.:
Although, really, he didn't seem likely to do so.
Sakura shook her head, and refocused her attention on the conversation that had been going on over her head.
"Nobody really knew Itachi," Kakashi was saying. "He had always kept to himself. Most people thought it was arrogance that kept him aloof, but a few of us suspected it was really shyness. But, well, the Massacre happened before we ever found out. And with the motivation everyone ascribed to the killing, it seemed like evidence to the contrary."
"The boy was a pacifist for all his life," Neko-baa said incredulously. "How could you not have noticed?"
"Whatever else he was, Itachi was an obedient ninja. He followed orders," Kakashi said. "He didn't balk at killing. At least not overtly."
"That does not mean he didn't regret each death," the Cat Sage reminded them. "Mark my words, that boy's heart is damaged."
The words sent a pang through Sakura's own heart, and she looked back at the door through which Itachi had disappeared.
She remembered what he'd been like throughout his convalescence. When he was regaining his memory. He'd always seemed somewhat… vulnerable. Always in a quiet, understated way, like he was trying to hide it.
That fit with the image she was beginning to gather of Itachi now, and she suspected that the person she saw in the confused, tortured, amnesiac had been the truth. He hadn't remembered, after all, that he had any need for disguises. And if that Itachi, and this Itachi matched… then the real Uchiha Itachi had been a sweet, gentle boy who had loved his brother and his Village and had been forced to make an impossible choice.
And that… that made Sakura want to like him. Want to trust him.