CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ALWAYS WANT YOU MORE

Jasper got thrown into a ceiling and smashed against the marble. He dropped onto the floor and was then immediately kicked across the room.

"Jasper!" I shouted, jolting awake. I felt Jasper's hand on my face – I was laying on his chest.

"I'm here, Heather. I'm here," Jasper whispered into my forehead. I climbed on top of his body, digging my heated and sweaty fact into the crook of his neck. I sighed, a tear falling, "You were gone."

His hands explored my back, "The biggest mistake I ever made in all my 165 years."

I sat up, softly straddling him, with a serious pained expression on my face, "You left... I was... devestated."

From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

I sighed heavily, a lump in my throat, "I need to know that you'll never do that again."

Japser gazed up at me. He reached up, brushing my grown hair out of my face, "I could never leave you again, Heather. I feel it would kill us both."

I chuckled bitterly, "It almost already did."

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

Jasper sat up, pulling my body closer to him. I pressed my forehead against his cold one and sighed, "I just... love you. I can't live without you."

Jasper cupped my face in his hands, "You'll never have to. I promise. I'm yours, Heather, body and soul. If I have one."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You have a soul, Jasper. I don't ever want to hear you've gone Edward and think you're damned for eternity."

Jasper smiled crookedly, "You give me hope for a better future."

I let out a breath and leaned in, "I love you."

"I'll love you forever," Jasper whispered and pressed his lips to mine.

Then – in my childhood, in the dawn

Of a most stormy life – was drawn

From every depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still.

The pond behind the Cullens house was trickling quickly with water. The sound of the mini-waterfall was soothing as I laid between Jasper's legs, sitting against a tree. I had my eyes closed, head tilted towards the tree canopy in the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper whispered into my ear.

I frowned at what I had been actually thinking about. "The Volturi."

From the torrent, or the fountain,

From the red cliff of the mountain,

From the sun that round me rolled

In its autumn tint of gold.

I could practically feel Jasper frown behind me, "You won't have to worry about that. We'll figure something out."

"Like what?" I twisted to look at him, "Flee? Go into hiding? We have no other option than to turn me."

"Turning you isn't an option," Jasper growled.

"Bella has the wolves to protect her and I know the Volturi won't go near them. But... they will kill... all of you if I'm still human," I told him exsasperated. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "Jasper, we have time. We don't have to turn me until at least, graduation. Maybe even longer to prepare.. my family-"

"Exactly my point," Jasper interupted, "What about your dad and Bianca and your mother? Could you really leave them like that?"

I sighed, "I could care less about my mother now. My dad will have Bianca and Cora. And Bianca has Embry. And I could still see her when I'm a vampire. It's not like she doesn't know. We just can't let the Volturi know about her. They dismiss her knowing the secret now because she's so young. But we'll have to be careful."

"Is it really worth it?" Jasper asked quietly.

I looked into his golden eyes, "For you." I stood up and reached my hand out to him, "Come on. We'll run this by the others. It effects them too."

From the lightning in the sky

As if passed me flying by,

From the thunder and the storm,

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view.

Esme was humming in the kitchen. When she opened the the cabnet, she stopped. She then opened the refrigerator just as Jasper and I climbed through the window – me on his back. She looked at me, holding a juice cart, "All of this is new."

I blushed as Jasper set me down, "Yeah... I've kind of been coming here. A lot." I looked up at Jasper, "You didn't do a good job of erasing yourself. I had a stash. Including the house key."

Jasper muttered to himself something along the lines of 'what kind of vampire misses that kind of stuff?' making me laugh at him.

THIRD PERSON POV

A red ferrari pulled over to the side of the road. Victoria peered into the window, showing off her cleavage. A middle-aged man rolled down the window and smiled. Victoria grined, sultry, "Where you headed?"

"Seattle," the man smiled lopsidedly.

A slow grin grew on Victoria's face, "Perfect."

HEATEHR'S POV

I held Jasper's hand as I faced the entire Cullen family. "You know it has to happen. I won't let the Volturi come kill you over something you all know that I want. Ever since Jasper told me the secret, I've thought over every little detail of how it would effect me and if I thought I could handle it. If I thought that I couldn't or doubted for one second that I didn't want this 100% then I wouldn't. I'd be willing to find another way to deal with the Volturi. But that isn't the case."

I looked at Jasper; he was a frozen statue. But I made him look at me, and his eyes softened. I looked at the Cullens again, "But I can't just... force myself on you. It effects you too. So I ask you now... if you'll accept me?"

Alice was the first to cheer, "Yes," and skipped over to hug me. I hugged her back thankfully.

Esme smiled warmly, coming to hug me, "Welcome to the family, Heather."

Rosalie gave me a sad look, "I'm sorry, Heather. I do consider you my sister and part of this family. I couldn't be happier that you've made my brother so happy. You both deserve each other." She hesitated to continue, "But... This isn't a life I would have chosen for myself. And I wish there'd been someone there to vote no for me. So... no." Rosalie sighed.

I didn't let the vote get to me. I knew how Rosalie felt about being a vampire.

Emmett grinned, "Well I vote hell yes. We can pick a fight with the Volturi another day."

Carlisle gave me a polite smile as he wrapped an arm around his wife, "I vote yes as well. Welcome to the family."

I smiled back at him, feeling a sense of relief. But the weight was not off my shoulders yet. I looked up at Jasper, my love, and whispered – almost scared, "What about you?"

Jasper looked down – away from me and asked just as quietly, "Does it matter?"

I nodded, "It counts the most, Jasper."

He looked at me, into my eyes and gave a little sigh, blinking his eyes even though he didn't have to, "I guess I don't have much of a choice. I can not live without you. So yes, Heather."

I gave him a rueful smile, feeling that weight lift, and I reached up to brush his cheek with my thumb, "I love you, Jasper."

He put his hand over mine and gave a weak smile, "I love you, Heather."

The Cullens didn't need long to fit right back in. The Hospital welcomed Carlisle back with enthusiasm and wide open arms. Alice immediately began skipping cheerfully, almost the most excited to be back. She and Bella became best friends again quickly.

Except Edward didn't return. Since Bella had moved on... he wanted to keep his distance until he did too. I was worried. And Bella felt guilty. But Alice would just wink at us and tell us that he wouldn't be alone for long. I assumed she had a vision or something. So I stopped worrying.

Bella had ceased to be seen as the zombie of Forks High. Now all the girls wanted her tips on how to land a buff guy from the rez. Jacob made her happy. But she had had her doubts...

I walked into the girls room and saw Bella staring at herself in one of the mirrors, her eyes red and puffy. I came to her side, concerned, "Bella? What's wrong?"

"What if Edward comes back?" Bella whispered painfully.

I leaned against eh sink and looked at her, "Do you still love him?"

Ball sighed to herself and looked at me, nodding shamefully.

I put a hand on her shoulder, "There's nothing wrong with that, Bella. It's really hard to just forget your first love. Trust me," I told her, thinking of Richard, "But you do have to choose. No one blames you for being confused, but it's better to make the choice now."

She looked at me, lost, "How?" Her voice sounded small. Like Bianca's when she came to my room telling me she had a nightmare. I just wanted to hold her and make everything bad just go away like I could with Bianca. But it wasn't so easy.

"As cliché as it sounds, you just have to listen to your heart. Just take a moment. What comes to your heart first? Not your head." I stood back as she closed her eyes, letting a long breath whoosh out of her.

I heard her whisper, "Jacob's my sun."

I nodded to her as she opened her eyes and gave her a smile, "That's your answer."

She and Jacob couldn't be happier together. I was really happy for them.

Jasper was waiting in my bedroom when I got back from picking up Bianca from daycare. Bianca went to her room immediately to draw or something. I greeted Jasper with a kiss on the cheek but he didn't reciprocate. He was staring at the wall above my headboard.

I had tacked many Edgar Allan Poe poems, a picture of a Raven, my parents' thirteenth anniversary picture and many other... dark pictures as well. There was one of myself, ripped in half. And another one of myself with the eyes scratched out.

Jasper sighed, "I really did this to you?"

He seemed so guilty. I sighed, "I did this to myself. Poe was great company for those as.. down as he was. Besides, he was great inspiration for the poems I was submitting to the scholarship competition."

Jasper allowed the subject change and asked me, "Have you heard about that by the way?"

I shook my head, "I should hear in about two weeks though."

"And what about school... Have you applied?"

"I only applied to UW and Humbolt. I got into both. I chose UW while you were still away."

"I want you to go," Jasper looked at me.

I laid on my bed, patting the space beside me, "I will. We'll change me over this summer or the next."

Jasper slowly came to lay down beside me, "You'll be a newborn, Heather. I don't think you understand how much you'll crave human blood. You'll be crazed. You won't want anything more."

I turned on my side and threw my arm across his chest, "There's always online classes. And you're wrong."

He peered at me curiously, "About what?"

I looked deeply into his eyes, "I will always want you more than anything else."

THE END

So that's the end... for now. Hope you like this version of New Moon. I'm just fine tuning Eclipse and then that'll be up!

REVIEW! OR ELSE!

RegalGirl94