Having Fun Trying

CJ/Danny

Rating Adult –

Spoilers through end of series

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

May 4, 2011; Santa Monica - UCLA Medical Center, Santa Monica, CA

Scott Winkler stepped off the elevator and headed toward the physicians' lounge. He had just finished delivering one healthy baby and had about 45 minutes before the other mother-to-be under his care would be fully dilated. There's nothing like bringing a beautiful, healthy, and wanted baby into this world, he thought. It sure makes up for all the nastiness this profession can sometimes bring.

Case in point: this morning, Jean Delray and her daughter Madison.

When asked why she had made the appointment for her daughter, Mrs. Delray told him that Madison would be 15 next month and it was time to get her on birth control pills.

After having his nurse escort Mrs. Delray from his office and into the waiting room, Scott talked with Madison. No, she wasn't sexually active and didn't foresee herself becoming so in the immediate future. Sure, she knew some girls in her class at school supposedly were, but they were all dating older boys, seniors, out of school, or in college. No, she didn't really date. Her crowd wasn't paired off one to one; when they went to dances or parties, they went as a group and all the girls danced with all the boys. Yes, if and when the situation changed, she felt that she could talk with her mom and arrange for contraception. Yes, she was aware that there was more to be concerned about than getting pregnant before she was emotionally and financially ready to have a child; she knew about STDs. No, she didn't carry a couple of condoms with her; if anyone else found out, wouldn't they think that she was willing? Yes, maybe she ought to think about that a bit more because her life might be more important than gossip. No, she knew nothing at all about them and yes, maybe it would be good for the nurse to give her a little "show and tell" session so when she was ready to buy some condoms, she would know what to look for and when she was ready to be in a situation where she might have to use one, she would know all the details of doing so. Again, her life was in her hands and she had to be prepared in case the boy wasn't.

While the nurse went through her little session with Madison and then took her vital signs and prepared her for an examination, Scott returned some phone calls and prepared himself not to be too harsh with Madison's mother when he spoke with her at the end of the visit. He also smiled as he realized that he had pinpointed Madison's age to within one year as soon as he heard her name. She was the sixth "Madison" he had seen this year. And most of them were like young Ms. Delray – not quite ready for an intimate relationship. Unfortunately, two of them succumbed to peer pressure, resulting in one untimely pregnancy and two depressed little girls. Only one had entered into an intimate relationship because she and the young man felt they were ready for such a move. He had fitted that particular Madison with a diaphragm and made sure that she knew she needed to use condoms as well.

In the examining room, he showed Madison how to check her breasts. Although it was extremely rare, breast cancer at a very young age was not unheard of, and it would be a good idea for her to have an idea of what her breasts felt like so that she could be aware of any changes.

He asked her about her periods. She was pretty regular, but varied between 27 and 29 days. She usually had some cramps (he advised her to avoid extra salty things for the week before she was due to start) and she did use tampons for sanitary protection ("Make sure you change them 3 or 4 times a day. It might be a good idea to use pads at night. And if you feel the least bit sick or have a fever, let your folks know and get in to see me or someone else.")

He examined her external genitalia. Madison's hymen had been stretched a bit by the use of the tampons but was still present. He saw no reason to examine her with a speculum, but did use his pinky fingers to check for any cysts between her vagina and her lower bowel. ("This may feel weird, but it's the best way to make sure everything is okay.") Using a mirror, he showed her what was what and told her what to look for in the way of abnormalities.

He asked her if she had any questions and answered those she did have.

When Madison was dressed and back in his office, he asked Jean to join them.

"I'm not going to prescribe birth control pills for Madison. She is not sexually active and she does not foresee being so in the immediate future. She and her friends have not paired off. Madison could easily have almost 40 years of fertility before her and I can't justify prescribing hormones when she doesn't need them. Madison tells me that you and she have a good rapport and that when the time comes, she would be very comfortable coming to you for assistance or obtaining a prescription on her own."

Scott's ears still burned at the tirade from Madison's mother.

"I'm sorry that you feel your time was wasted, Jean. Of course, you are free to take her somewhere else and if you feel you need to find another doctor for yourself, we will of course forward copies of your records to him or her."

He stood up and opened the office door. "Anita," he told his office assistant, "there will be no charge for Madison today." Then, as the older woman stormed toward the door, he told Madison to feel free to call him if she ever needed advice or help.

He supposed that Jean Delray thought she was trying to do the best thing for her daughter, but there was a difference between not being a prude and pushing one's child into sex.

"Hey, Scott."

He looked up and saw Danny Concannon walking from the cafeteria.

"Hey, Danny. What are you doing here?"

"Pete Dieliczko, from down the street, is here for a colonoscopy. His wife had to work so I'm the designated driver."

"And did you ever get yours?"

"Yep. Two weeks after CJ's. And all the other stuff. EKG, PSA levels, the whole nine yards."

When Scott was running CJ through all her tests before giving them the okay to start trying for another baby, he found out that Danny hadn't been to a doctor since his initial fertility tests right before their wedding. The doctor insisted that CJ's husband start seeing a doctor on a yearly basis. "Don't you know that part of the reason men tend to die younger than women is because men neglect their routine health care? Don't you want to be around for this child the two of you want?"

So Danny had taken the Ob-Gyn's advice. He found out that his overall cholesterol was okay but that his good cholesterol was a tad low, that his blood pressure was fine, and that his eyes had changed since his last eye exam ("Maybe right before the incident at Rosslyn.")

"So how are things with you and CJ?"

"Well, you know my wife. She's not content with just the ovulation kits, she's keeping temperature charts and doing that thing with mucous." Danny's face indicated his discomfort with the last issue.

"It's only been a couple of months!" Scott sighed in exasperation. "You know, for most of my couples, I don't want them doing anything special for the first year, other than not using any birth control. I tell 'em to just go at it like rabbits."

"Well, we're dong that," Danny laughed easily, "except for those days when she tells me I get my one shot every 36 hours." He referred to the results of his sperm recovery tests. "And during that time, she does the thing with the pillow afterward.

"Anyway, we just found out that her former assistant Margaret, the one who married right before Christmas, is pregnant. And of course, everyone knows about Mrs. Santos. When you add that to her other former assistant Carol having a little girl in January, and Hank and Steve becoming parents in a couple of months, it's babies, babies, nothing but babies. Plus she thinks that the November baby bonanza got started on Valentine's Day a year ago and we could have, well - "

Scott was still at peace with his decision not to tell CJ and Danny that the "heavy, late period" she experienced about thirteen months ago while overseas was in all likelihood a spontaneous miscarriage of a baby conceived along with the ones her friends gave birth to this past autumn. There was nothing to be done about it, and it would only cause sorrow and thoughts of what might have been.

"Danny, it would be better if you could get her to relax, at least for a few months."

"You know that. I know that. But try - "

"Paging Dr. Winkler, Dr. Scott Winkler. Please report to the Labor Hall."

"Gotta go. Look, try to have fun trying." The Ob-Gyn headed toward the elevators, humming "Yessir, That's My Baby!"

A few hours later, having taken Pete to Harry's for lunch and then home, Danny walked into the courtyard of his house. Looking through the glass walls of the family room, he saw that CJ and Paddy were on the deck. Paddy and Maggie were in the kiddie pool and CJ was staring off into the western sky, ignoring the book opened on her lap.

"Dada!" Paddy stood up and held up his arms for a hug.

"Unca." Maggie imitated her pool partner.

Danny picked up the both of them, not caring that his shirt and pants got wet. After some wet kisses and wetter hugs, the two kids indicated that they wanted to be back in the pool, so he obliged.

"Hey, you." He bent down to kiss CJ, and then caught the wistful look in her eyes. He knew without asking that she had proof that she was not pregnant.

"I'm sorry, honey." He pulled on her arms to get her off the glider, sat down, and pulled her into his lap. For a while, they just sat there, comforting each other.

"Honey, I ran into Scott at the hospital. He really thinks we shouldn't be putting so much into our timing just yet. He thinks we should just relax for a few months."

"Danny, I'm not getting any younger. If I were 30, sure, hell, if I were 40, but - ".

"I know, love, but I don't want you becoming desperate."

"I won't Danny."

But I think you are, my love, he said to himself. He thought about what he didn't tell Scott. That for the past two months, the three or four times they made love during her "fertile time", she wasn't able to climax on her own. He could see her eyes, trying and trying, and then her whispered statement of defeat. "Help me, Danny."

And he would put his hand between them and take her to fulfillment.

For the first part of the month and the last part of the month, she was fine.

Of course, during those other times, if they were in certain positions, he needed to help her. But from the time after he convinced her that she hadn't "missed the window" in January of 2007 and then their new life in California, he hadn't had to do so when they were "missionaries". They had easily found the angles, the movement, the pressure she needed from his shaft, from his groin.

Until now.

Well, he reasoned, there was nothing he could do about it for another 10 to 14 days, certainly nothing he could do about it now, except to let her know that she was loved and cherished.

"So, how long do we have the girlfriend?" He looked at Paddy and Maggie, their nude little bodies dappled with sun and water.

"For another hour or so. Diana had to take Mike and Steve to the dentist after school and Carmen is in dance class."

"Do you want to go lie down? I can watch them."

"Maybe in a bit. Right now, I like sitting here with you." She slipped her butt off his lap onto the cushion beside him so that her legs were over his and tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, Danny, Erik Debeer called. The closing is set for three weeks from yesterday."

"Good. I'll be done with teaching and done with my finals. Could we spend two weeks up there?"

"I don't see why not. It'd be great."

They had finally found a place in northern California, outside a small town called Albion. With the money they had received from the Ogilvie clan for the land that Brianna had willed to Danny, they were able to put down half the cost of the property.

The house had an open "great room" with a wood-burning fireplace and kitchen plus two bedrooms and a bath on the main floor. There was a lofted room plus another bath over the bedrooms and a small mini-loft area over the outside edge of the great room that could hold two twin beds. They could theoretically sleep eight people without having to put anyone in the great room.

There was a huge deck outside. The people who were selling the place threw in ("Hell, we'll knock $100.00 off the price if you'll keep it") a "pop up" tent trailer for overflow accommodations. The property had lots of trees but the deck got a fair amount of sunshine and had a hot tub. The owners before the current owners used a small 12-foot diameter, 4 foot deep above ground pool on one corner of the deck. Although the house was in a wooded section of town, there was electricity (underground) and city water.

It was an eight hour drive, which meant that weekend only usage was out (unless they flew to Eureka), but it was an easy one day's trip, even with Paddy.

"Anything else?" Danny played with her hair.

"Emailed pictures from Carol and Margaret. I forwarded them to you." She winced a little as she answered.

"You go lie down. I'll bring in the kids and get you some tea and stuff."

Since going off the pill, she had been experiencing some discomfort at the onset of her periods. It was nothing like the pain she had when they first became intimate, before the effect of her "very, very, regular orgasms" relieved the symptoms, but it did bother her. Well, he reflected, during their four years of marriage, she had been either pregnant or on hormones for all but the first three months, the three months between the stillborn birth of the twins and Paddy's conception, and now these past six months. Maybe the effect of his "natural healing power" wasn't all he thought it was.

He took the kids into the nursery, dried and diapered the both of them, and set them in the crib. They promptly fell asleep, holding hands.

Rummaging through the master bath closet, he found the heating pad and brought it to the bed for her, along with some acetaminophen and a glass of water. No, she didn't need any tea just now, but he was sweet to ask.

Opening a beer and grabbing some nuts (and a walkie-talkie that connected to the nursery), he took his laptop into the courtyard and opened the forwarded emails and attachments.

Carol and David had their "premature" (at least, that's what they told Mrs. Fitzgerald) baby girl, Clarissa Jean, in early January and the photos showed a miniature version of Carol with dark hair and David's golden brown eyes. Carol had returned to work in early March.

With Helen Santos' approval (and with her own baby due in mid-July, who was surprised), Margaret had organized on-site day care for White House staffers (a special boon considering the long hours many of them had to work) and Carol was able to continue to nurse her little daughter with little inconvenience. Some people thought it was a lure to get Donna back to work sooner than she had planned, but Margaret and the First Lady said that it had been in the works for some time and that Donna would be welcomed back when, and only when, she was ready to do so, with or without Noah, Leo, Joanie, and Micah.

Then two weeks ago, John and Margaret Hoynes had announced that they were expecting a son "right around Halloween" and everyone started talking about the "Babies are Us" White House. The email from Margaret was probably a copy of the ultrasound. Click. Click again. It was.

He looked at the rest of his mail, deleting some, flagging some others.

He opened the one from Erin.

His sister was very happy. The family was looking forward to their trip to California later this summer and to seeing the "Little House on the Prairie" cabin that CJ and Danny were buying.

Aisling was still doing very well and was looking forward to her final year in secondary school. She would really like to attend St. Andrew's in Scotland. Apparently, her interest in attending university in the States had waned, although she did still correspond with that nice young man at Notre Dame that she met at the beach. In fact, the lad was coming to Ireland this summer and planned to visit.

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, Fiona had settled down, living at home and attending classes at the University of Limerick. For the past two months, she was dating one of the professors (not one of her teachers, someone she happened to meet at a social gathering after Mass one Saturday). The man's name was Brendan Collins and he was a very good influence on Fee. Erin had some qualms because of the age difference (Brendan was about 40), but the man brooked no nonsense from the girl. Maybe Fee was one of those women who needed a father image in a man. Robin almost dropped his glass of whiskey the first time Brendan came to the house to fetch Fiona; the man asked Robin what Fiona's curfew was. They hadn't been able to keep Fee to a curfew since she was seventeen. Although he looked like a pirate, Brendan taught mechanical engineering courses.

But the best news of all, as far as Erin was concerned, was that Robin would no longer be flying full-time as a commercial jet pilot. He was moving into training and pilot recertification. He would still spend some time on trips to keep up his certification and to certify other pilots. However, he would only be away from home five or six nights a month, and never for more than one night at a time.

The doorbell rang. Diana Muñoz was there to claim her younger daughter. No, she didn't have much time, she had to get the kids fed and she and Frank were going out to dinner with someone else El Segundo and his wife. And would Danny remind CJ that they were supposed to get together tomorrow to plan the food for the baby shower that the block was throwing for Hank and Steve on Sunday?

Of course, now that Maggie was gone, Paddy wanted to be up and about, wanted someone to pay attention to him, so Danny scooped him out of the crib, put him in a romper, and returned to the courtyard. (CJ was still napping.) Deciding that it was the sound of his voice that mattered more than the words being spoken, Danny read aloud from one of the papers he was grading, trying not to let Paddy's interest, or lack thereof, affect his decision between "B" and "B-Plus" for the grade. (The next one was between "B-Plus" and "A-Minus". There was no doubt about the next five, a "C", two "B"'s and two "A"'s.)

Monday, May 16, 2011; Culver City, CA

Free!!

Danny Concannon left the campus of West LA Community College for the last time as an instructor. His final grades were submitted and his separation papers signed.

He had turned in his finals at USC earlier in the week. Except for his biweekly op-ed piece that was syndicated through the LA Times, he had no obligations for the summer and he intended to keep it that way. His publisher was flying out tomorrow with a "the deal of a lifetime", but Danny had decided that unless it truly was such an opportunity, he was going to take a true summer vacation, the kind he last had when he was fourteen. He hadn't been able to convince CJ to totally abandon her work with "Road to a Better World", but he had bargained her down to three mornings a week, two weeks out of the month. Plus most of July was booked for vacation. They would spend time at home, at the new place in Albion (with invited guests), with Ginger and Rick in Cape May (and a couple of days at Rehoboth), with Josh and Donna in Widewater Beach, and maybe even in New Hampshire with the Bartlet's (the former President wasn't getting any younger and CJ saw the man as the father she had to neglect for the country.)

But first, tonight. It was his opening salvo in Operation Relax CJ.

They had already planned to dine out tonight in celebration of the end of the academic year. Paddy would be staying with Frank and Diana. Then CJ let him know that tonight would be the start of "our window". Well, Mrs. Concannon, he thought, you will be taken by surprise. He had many wonderful and delightful plans for her, not just for tonight, not just for "the window", but also for the summer. He was looking forward to implementing them.

He placed a quick call to Hank to remind him about the favors Danny was requesting, both tonight and the one he would need for Wednesday morning.

Later that evening; Santa Monica, CA.

"Danny? We didn't leave lights on. Should we call the police?"

"It's okay, part of my plan to celebrate. I have helpers."

After their celebratory dinner and drive home, CJ and Danny walked slowly across the courtyard and toward their bedroom. Once they had entered the house, Danny stopped to kiss his wife. When she put her arms around his neck, he scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom.

There were electric candles all around the room. The bedcovers had been turned down and another sheet covered the regular bottom one.

Danny lowered CJ to her feet and began to remove her clothes and his. When they were nude, he pushed her to the bed and picked up the bottle of citrus-cinnamon massage oil.

"On your stomach, Jeannie," he softly ordered.

Even later.

She stretched like a cat, and opened her eyes. Danny was lying on his side beside her, his head propped up on his forearm and hand.

"Hi there, beautiful," he smiled at her.

"Hi yourself, wonder man."

After massaging her back, arms, and legs, he had teased her to the edge of frustration. He had been inside her for some time, reciting to himself the names of the fifty state and their capitols in order of entrance into the union when she made her plea for help. Rather than putting his hand between them, he withdrew and lowered his mouth to her core.

When she had climaxed on his mouth, he entered her again and began again to build his and her need. Again, she had asked for help, and again he had responded by leaving her and using his tongue to give her satisfaction.

The third time inside her, she had quaked, shuddered, and moaned his name; a second or two later, he exploded inside her, breathing her name into her ear.

Tuesday afternoon.

Danny let himself into the courtyard. CJ was in the hot tub.

"You've got the temperature low enough?" Scott had told her she could use the spa if the temperature was under 95 degrees.

"Yes. I'm sorry; I meant to be out by the time you got back." Danny's urologist wanted him to avoid the tub until they were successfully pregnant. "I had some pains."

He told her he was sorry and she said she was considering it ovulation pain and didn't mind. She rose from the tub and put on her robe. They walked arm in arm to the kitchen where she poured each of them an iced tea.

"So, did you tell Curtis that you weren't interested in another book right now?"

"We-el-lll,"

She knew that the proposed subject was one that must be very important if Danny was considering it. He had been so adamant about concentrating on his degree.

"Who?"

"A bishop."

"A bishop? Which one?"

"The one in Rome; always wears white."

"The Pope! Danny, the Pope wants you to write his story?" She jumped up and kissed him.

"I didn't turn them down outright." He kissed her back.

"Why would you?"

"It's not so much me turning them down as them not agreeing to my terms. I would want final authority to publish anything I found, no matter how disturbing."

"Well, even if they didn't want it in the book, they couldn't keep you from making things known in another source."

"He could excommunicate me."

"You asked for a 'no excommunication' deal?"

"Yep."

"Well, even if you don't write it, I'm proud of you." She began to kiss him more amorously. "Let's go celebrate. Paddy's napping. We have fifteen minutes." She got up and pulled him toward the bedroom.

"We can't; not till tomorrow morning."

"Hell." Her face fell as she remembered the timing. "Okay, let's do the next best thing."

She went to the refrigerator and pulled out a chocolate cheesecake.

Wednesday morning.

Some sort of insect was flitting about her face. She could feel it on her nose, on her eyes, on her mouth. She moved her hand to chase the insect from her.

She opened her eyes. Danny was sitting cross-legged beside her, a huge purple feather plume in his hand.

"Where did you find that?"

"Hank. It's artificial, of course. But let's not talk about it, okay." He ran the feather down her face and lightly between her breasts. Next, he circled her left nipple and then her right. By the time he was moving down past her abdomen toward her navel, she was almost to delirium.

As had happened Monday evening he moved inside her and she asked for help. This time when he withdrew, he replaced his body with the feather, first the silken plume and then, very carefully, very delicately, the delicate point barely touching her as it circled the critical mass of her core. In a few minutes, she was arching off the bed and awash in waves of satisfaction.

This time, they climaxed together. It was not cannon and fireworks, but it was satisfaction and it was mutual.

Thursday evening

"The window" was in its second half and Danny was about to start act three of Operation Relax CJ.

The woman in question was in the nursery, reading to their son. The man in question entered the bedroom, carrying a trivet and a small saucepan, which he set by the bed. Again, the bedclothes were turned down; again, another sheet was spread over the bed.

Danny undressed and adjusted the lighting of the room to his satisfaction. Then he sat on the bed. He was a patient man and would wait for his wife to finish her time with their son.

She entered the dimly lit bedroom. Her eyes were drawn to the sight of her husband, waiting her. He had stood at her entrance and even if they weren't "on a mission", the sight of him and his obvious desire for her was enough to cause her body to ready itself for him.

She began removing her clothing as she approached the bed and was nude when she reached it. She sat on the edge and pulled him down beside her. Her eyes closed as they fell onto the sheets and she anticipated the feel of his hands on her, his mouth on her, his moustache and beard on her.

What she felt was a brushing and a somewhat syrupy liquid, like undiluted shampoo or body wash. She opened her eyes. Danny was painting her body with a golden brown substance. She wiped a finger across her stomach and put it in her mouth.

"Butterscotch?"

"Chocolate is so last year," he grinned.

"There's something else." She wrinkled her brow.

"Whiskey."

"Well, when Angus puts it on the market, you make sure he pays you royalties on the net profits." She pulled the brush from his hand and began to cover a certain part of his body. Caramel covered apples had nothing on caramel covered ---.

This time, once was enough.

Saturday morning.

The end of "the window". Beginning this morning until the next window (unless another one wasn't needed) Danny wasn't limited to "once every 36 hours".

This time, there were no tricks. With his years of experience, of knowing and loving this woman, he tenderly but efficiently brought her to mellow desire. She in turn raised his need for her to a critical point. This time, their coupling was sweet and tight. Once he entered her, he moved round and round but barely broke the tight seal between his groin and hers until they approached the ultimate point together.

Afterward, he pulled her with him to the side and they lay there together, indulging in the little signs of post-peak affection: kisses on her brow, her eyelids, kisses on his chest, his neck. They dozed for a while.

"Danny?"

"Umm?" He woke from his slumber and began kissing her again, this time on her hair. His body prepared itself to want her again and his mind knew that there were no longer any restrictions.

"These past few days, they've been so, so - "

"Yes, they have. I'm glad you liked them."

"I'm not complaining, but why?"

"Because you've been on the verge of turning these four days every month into a job, into something about which to be nervous."

"Just because I need help sometimes? It's been this way, sometimes, from the very beginning."

"CJ." He turned over so he could stare into her eyes. No, that wasn't enough. His knee gently separated hers and he came between them. Gently, he entered her and pushed into her as far as possible.

Buried to the hilt, he raised himself to his elbows and put a hand on either side of her face.

"Once we settled everything, once we came to California, you've never needed help when we are like this. Until March, when Scott said to put away the diaphragm. And even since then, it's only during these few days. Last week, you were fine. Last month, you were fine after. I'm well aware of the post hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy, but combined with the thermometer, the test kits, the calendar, and that mucous thing, can you honestly tell me that I'm totally off base?"

Even if she wanted to, there was no way she could lie to him when they were like this. She moved her head from side to side.

"I'm sorry. I just want another baby so much." Tears began to form in her eyes. He quickly kissed them away.

"I know, my love. So do I. But we have to give it time."

"I don't know why you can be so calm about it."

He decided against reminding her of Mariah, because he wasn't sure if CJ still believed what he had told her about the strange nurse who was with him when the twins were stillborn. Nor did he want to tell her that Aisling had told him to "trust in the lady".

"Because, my darling Jeannie, with regard to this, I just put my faith in God."

"God helps those who help themselves."

"Yes, She does. And we are helping. I have no problem with checking your temperature, your schedule, with waiting for my guys to completely replenish themselves, with sticking to one position. I have no problem with trying, but can't we have a little fun while trying? Speaking of which," his smile turned devilish, "as long as I'm in the neighborhood - ". He kissed her and began to move.

Her arms came around him. "You might as well make yourself at home."