Hello, I'm back!
thanks to all the ones who commented it, it makes me so so so so happy to know that you liked the first part.
by the way, since you weren't logged in:
Mo: awwwwwwww, thank you so ,so, so much! LOL, believe me, I went to sleep thinking 'Geez, please, don't tell me that I wrote 'basket' instead of 'casket '.'. and I really did! It was only distraction... I shouldn't write when I'm sleepy... but I'm doing that once again, lol-
thanks again, you're very nice. I'm still in need of a beta, by the way, do you want to help me? ^^
Enoemos: awwwwwwwww, thank you so, so much, dear! I'm so glad you love kids-fics and I totally agree with you ;) About my mistakes, I apologize, sometimes is just rush and distraction (although I re-read, trust me! ), truth is that I really need a beta... :(
p.s. I apologised for the format, something went wrong with the bold tag and I don't know why...
btw, to read it correctly you can also find the story here: hyper-bliss. livejournal. com , just search for the 'who am i?' tag ^^
And thanks also to all the ones who put it in the story alert, waaahh, you're so many!... but, really, I would be happier if at least once you let me know something, bad or good stuff, of course, even a word can make my day! ;)
Ok, let's go on. This is a long chapter, hope you won't mind:
II.
"It's the casket of the Ancient Winters , which father always tell us about!" Thor commented, deciding that he had contemplated the legendary hammer long enough for that day.
"I can lift it up!" Loki stated, as he seemed to be in a sort of trance.
"No, father doesn't want such a thing. We shouldn't touch anything here!" Thor admonished him, taking some steps closer.
Loki took his eyes temporary off the casket to look at his brother.
"But I want to try, in order to show you that I can be as strong and brave as you!" the younger child insisted.
"My little brother, you don't have to prove to me anything!"the blond smiled sweetly at him.
"Yes, I do and I'm not afraid to do it!"
Saying those words, Loki grabbed the handles of the casket, in order to lift it, but, even without completing that effort, something happened, something unexpected and disquieting.
His hands had turned from their pale pink to blue and both of the children had noticed that.
"You had never done this magic before, but I don't like it..." Thor grumbled nervously.
"It's not magic!" Loki replied, scared. "I'm not doing that intentionally!" he explained, as he kept holding that casket.
It was almost as if there was a mysterious force that prevented him from letting it go, as the brunet felt a horrible frost taking possession of his body more and more, second by seconds.
And with the sensation of coldness, even the surface of blue skin increased; which had already extended to the whole length of his scraggy arms.
Thor backed off, even more nervous than before.
"C'mon, Loki, shake it off, I don't like all that blue!" he begged his younger brother desperately.
"I... can't!" Loki yelled irritated and gnawed by the frost; as he was searching for the strength to pull himself off that relic.
Thor gasped, jolting when he saw his awesome green eyes turning into two awful, dark red fissures.
"Why are you acting like that?" Loki asked him and then burst out crying, since he couldn't comprehend what was going on.
"Your... your eyes..." Thor stuttered, backing off even more.
"My eyes what?"
"You're a monster!" Thor yelled at him, scornfully, before a powerful stream of light overwhelmed them.
When the light faded out; Frigg, Odin's wife, was holding Thor in her arms as he was still shocked and trembling, but Loki felt much worse.
Finally he had switched back to his normal features, while Odin's strong arms held him close. Odin had dragged the kid away from the casket, with a tug.
"We've arrived too late." the king commented, exchanging a guilty look with his consort, who confined herself just to bow her head, as she caressed Thor's golden locks.
With a last series of judders and sobs , Loki raised his head.
"Wh-what was that, father? What was I?" he wondered, with broken voice and his big green eyes lightly reddened by the crying.
Odin sighed heavily, preferring not to answer, as he kept caressing his black hair, in an attempt of comfort.
In the meantime also Thor had recovered and he had turned to Loki again, relieved to see him with his usual features.
"We just wanted to go here for fun, but then Loki touched that thing," he resumed to his mother, pointing quickly with his index at the casket. "So he turned into something different, all of the sudden... and I got frightened; but a proper king should never be afraid!" he added, reprimanding himself.
"No, Thor!" Loki struck back, glaring at him. "A proper, good and kind brother should never be afraid!"he held it against him, as he looked deeply upset.
Thor was about to answer back, but he preferred to keep silent.
Odin held Loki even more tightly and that drew the kid's attention back to the undisputed king of the realm.
"Was it an unintended magic? Was it something that I can't control yet?" he asked the man with a weak, very weak hope in his heart, since he already feared that it wasn't so.
"My dear children, because of these unpleasant circumstances, I'm not allowed to hide the truth from you anymore." the king sighed.
"And what is the truth?" Loki questioned him, as serious as ever.
"Everything started with the battle of Jotunheim." the king decided to start his tale, as he was trying to temporize.
- He's only six years old, he can't already stand the fact that king Laufey disowned him and left him to die alone and uncared-for; because he was unworthy for their kind!- the wise and fair father of all gods pondered, reading the same doubt in his beloeved wife's eyes.
The kids were waiting patiently and silently for him to go on.
"I mean, even before the battle started. Someone from Jotunheim managed to arrive to our realm, I don't know how, putting a carrycot in front of our royal palace. Inside the carrycot there was a newborn baby." Odin went on.
Loki jolted hearing that news, parting himself from Odin's embrace.
"That baby... it was me!" the younger kid figured out on his own; so much that his wasn't a question, but a pure understatement.
Thor confined himself to gasp in surprise.
With a quick look and a thankful smile, Frigga let her husband know how much she approved that version of events that was meant to be less painful for thier dear Loki.
"Yes, Loki, it was you. I found a folded sheet of paper inside the carrycot ,where your parents appealed to my magnnimous nature and asked me to take care of you, because you were too small to be considered a proper giant and they feared that you would not be safe in their realm, without mentioning the danger of the incoming war," the king explained, putting his hand on the brunet's shoulder. "You parents made that sacrifice, giving up to you, very unwillingly, just and only because they wanted you to be happy, serene and safe here with us, in my family, loved as a son, as my son, in the eyes of the whole realm!" he concluded.
In a fit of rage, Loki pushed Odin's hand off his shoulder, sort of rudely.
"I'm not worthy of your touch, I'm not worthy of this family! I'm your sworn enemies' son, there must be somethiing horrible in me as well!" Loki hissed, trembling because of the anger.
"Loki, no, don't talk like this!" Thor cut him off, getting up to approach to him, but Loki backed off, heading towards the exit.
"Shut up! You can't understand how I feel, no one can!" the younger kid screamed in tears, rushing towards the corridors.
Thor didn't waste any time and ran after him.
Frigg was about to reach them, but Odin stopped her.
"No, Frigg, we must not interfere now!"
The woman glared at him so coldly that he was almost intimidated.
"Right now my son is going through the hardest moment of his life. He has no certainty anymore, no points of reference. You can't ask me not to interfere!" she faced her king, stubborn and austere, before leaving.
While the adults were discussing, Loki was already crossing the last corridors, determined to go back in his room; but Thor had always been faster than him.
"Loki..." he murmured, grabbing his forearm, before the brunet reached his destination.
"Let me go!" the younger kid snapped.
"Nope, you're my brother and ..."
That's it. He had just said that. He had said that word that Loki had always loved so much, but in that moment it was painful as a stab through his heart that let its blade sink in it, implacable.
He turned to the blond, with his emerald gemstones narrowed into icy fissures, as he trembled, unable to refrain from letting that flood of conflicting emotions overcome
himself.
Loki had definitely lost control.
"I have not any brother!" he shout at the top of his lungs, emanating a powerful wave of energy that swept Thor away, smashing him against a wall, where he passed out.
"Thor?" Loki called him, wavering, with his eyes filled with tears, as he was shaking him lightly.
The brunet was relieved when he saw the blond stirring, opening his eyes.
However, before the elder kid could fully recover, Loki had already gone away, locking himself in his room.
Just a bunch of minutes before, that room seemed to him a suffocating prison that prevented him from having fun; but right then it was his refuge, the place where he could remain alone with his thoughts.
Yeah. too bad that Loki was terrified by his own thoughts. Only recalling what he had done to his brother before made him shiver.
- We played the battle so many times, but this time ... it was different. I ... I wasn't myself anymore! -
A light knock on the door took his mind away from his pondering.
"Leave me alone!" he yelled at whoever was behind that door.
"Honey, it's me. please, let me in!" the sweet and soothing voice of his mother exhorted him.
- No. Not mother. Frigg. The queen of this realm... which is not mine! - the child reproached himself, but he couldn't forget how many times those warm arms had hugged him tight, comforting him in the hardest moments, just like he couldn't deny how much he needed one of those hugs in that moment.
That's why he twisted the key in the lock, allowing the queen to step in.
"Oh, Loki, my beloved child!" she held him close to her chest, caressing his jet-black hair.
"No, that's not true. I'm not yours! I don't belong to anyone!" he hissed acidly,parting from her, but the woman grabbed his hand and took him to the bed, where they both sat.
"I know what you're doing now. You're listening to your head, you're letting your rationality predominate; and your rationality only tells you that we don't have the same blood flowing in our veins." she commented.
"Well, it's the truth after all, isn't it?" he made her notice.
"Yep, it is, we can't deny that; but do you really think that a real family is made by the blood? Do you think that the real parent is the one who just gives birth to you and not the one who raised you with indiscriminate love, remaining always by your side, laughing with you in the happy moments and comforting you in the sad ones?" she asked him, placing her palm on his chest.
The kid's eyes grew wider, as he was unable to utter a word.
"It's your heart that you have to listen to, Loki. It will give you the answer," the woman smiled at him.
Loki followed her advice, he listened to his heart and then he wiped his tears, smiling back at her.
"Mother?" he vacillated, grasping in a fist a leap of her opulent dress.
"Yes, my sweet, sweet child! That's what I am and what I will always be!" she caressed his face. "Just like Odin is your father, because he loves you as a son, because you are our son, the rest doesn't matter!" she heartened him. "You know what? When your father and I saw you for the very first time, you were utterly blue, but small like any other baby."
"Really?" he asked curious.
"Yes, but as soon as he lifted you in his arms, your skin changed and you became a beautiful Asgardian child, not that you weren't already beuatiful before! Loki, you were designed for us, you belong to our family!" Frigg gave him the unpteenth confirmation.
"How is Thor?" the kid asked, after few istants of hesitation.
"Don't worry, he's fine, I saw him run to his room!" Frigg answered.
"Mother, I didn't want to do that, it's only that..." he began to agitate.
The woman hugged him once again.
"I know, we all hear your screams, but you were so shocked... it's more than normal... and I'm sure that also Thor understood that. Your brother loves you."
"But he's not my real ..." Loki tried to strike back, but Frigg made him shut up, placing a finger on his lips.
"Don't you say that.
Never! Deep inside your heart, you know that it isn't so. You must always remember this, Loki: you have a mother, a father, but mostly a brother who love you endlessly!" she reassured him, leaving the room, while the kid was troubled by a painful awareness, but that leaded him to a very good purpose.
- I was horrible with Thor. I have to make peace with him! -
******************************** (In the meantime)
- I was horrible with Loki. I have to make peace with him! -
That was the elder Asgardian prince's main thought, as soon as he had regained consciousness, seeing the other little prince running away.
- I must make him forgive me and maybe I know what to do! – he decided, enlightened by a brilliant idea.
That's why he rushed towards his room, but he met his mother on his way and he told her shortly what had happened.
Once he was in his room, he opened a large trunk, where among toys and several tools, he found just what he was looking for.
He immediately started to work, but after few minutes someone knocked at the door and then he opened it without ceremony.
"Sonny, Sif and the others are waiting for you for the daily training!" his father informed him.
"I'm not going to do the training!" Thor replied scornfully, turning to the king. "How is Loki?" he wondered immediately after, with apprehension in his tone.
"Don't worry, your mother is talking to him. It was such a big shock for him, but maybe it's better that he found out the truth now," the Alpha father commented, and then he scrutinized his son. "Did that change something to you?"
He was happy when he saw Thor shaking his head negatively.
"Blue, green, yellow, red, purple, it doesn't matter... I'll always love Loki so, so much!" he assured.
"Your words gladden me a lot. Now go to the training, you know that it's very important to forge the moral fibre and to strengthen your body!" Odin urged him.
"I know, but I have something much more important to do!" the child insisted, bracing his feet against the ground.
"May I know what the matter is?" the father interrogated him, as he took a look around and noticed that there was an undefined project on the desk.
"It's something that will help me make peace with my brother!" Thor announced, determined.
The king beamed, patting his shoulder.
"My dear son, I guess that this is a very worthy reason!" he said, leaving as proud as ever.
Half an hour later, after running some tests, in order to find the right words to say, someone else knocked at Thor's door.
Thor snorted irritated. His work was half done and he didn't want to stop just right then.
"Mother, could you come back later? I guarantee that I'm fine, you also saw that!" he asserted, speaking out loud, without moving from there.
"Thor, it's me!" a tiny voice squeaked, a voice that was very familiar to Thor.
He was glad that his little brother still wanted to speak with him.
- But now it's too soon, I'm not done with the gift for him yet. And I want it to be a huge surprise! – he thought, getting up and walking towards the door, in order to open it, but just a little chink, to prevent the other from seeing anything.
"Loki, it's not the proper moment, leave me alone!" the blond murmured.
"But..." the brunet protested.
"Loki, go away!" the elder kid sent him away, locking the door.
- Maybe I was a bit harsh, but when he sees my surprise he will understand!- Thor thought, going back to his desk more thrilled than before.
Too bad that Loki had gotten a different message; while, upset and disheartened, he stared at the locked door.
- He doesn't want to see me, he's angry with me! He doesn't consider me his brother anymore... because, it's true, I'm not! – he repeated to himself, going back to his own room.
That bitter interaction with Thor had been enough to sweep away all the certainties that Frigg had patiently and lovingly brought back in him, but now they were dragged away like leaves in a whirlwind.
A cold, icy wind that was trapping the child's heart in its pitiless grip, once again.
- So all the speech mother-no-Frigg made before... it was just and only a bunch of lies! An attempt to deceive me, making me believe something that's not true. Truth is that I'm all alone in this world, no one really cares about me, I can rely only on myself – he went on with his distorted conclusions, grabbing a duffel-bag and filling it with a folded blanket, a pair of clean clothes, some bread rolls that were left from his afternoon snack and a couple of the books he adored so much, although he had just learned to read.
- Thor told me to go away and I will!-
He approached to the window and opened it for the second time in that day; and then he put the duffel-bag on his shoulders and climbed on the windowsill.
He stared terrified at the gap between the windowsill and the robust branch, feeling dizzy.
For one moment he was tempted to go back; but then he received another visit from that cold rationality that was becoming his loyal companion.
- No, the new Loki is not allowed to be afraid! – he imposed to himself, jumping with determination and landing on the branch.
Very laboriously, he managed to get off the tree, feeling safe when his feet touched the ground again. He started to run, helped by the winter dark that hid him more easily to everyone's sight.
At dinner time, as usual, Frigg went to call him; but when she opened the door, she saw a little mountain under the covers.
She smiled, sitting on the bed.
"My dear son, you had a day so plenty of intense emotions that now it's normal that you are worn out!" she murmured, pulling the covers behind, in order to tuck him better.
That's when she realised the little trick.
Under the covers there were nothing but gathered toys and puppets.
Thor was utterly satisfied.
It had taken him a long time, but finally he could admire ecstatic the results of all his efforts and it was a very well done work of art.
- Loki will love it!- he grinned in anticipation, grabbing the gift for his brother and leaving the room, eager to give it to him, but a scream made his blood run cold.
It was his mother's scream.
"Loki ran away!" the queen burst out crying desperately and Odin immediately appeared by her side, wrapping his strong arms around her.
As the king comforted his wife and wiped her tears, although he was as afflicted as her, while she was telling him about the speech she had had with Loki few hours before; Thor was still trying to elaborate that dreadful news, because he didn't want to believe that, it couldn't be possible.
- If Loki really ran away, it's just and only my fault.- he blamed himself.
Odin and Frigg headed to Thor's door to give him that sad news, but they found nothing but an open window, with the icy cold that whipped at their royal faces and the anguish that devoured their hearts.
TBC
This is such a mess isn't it?
Well, no matter if they're kings, queens, gods or magicians... I guess that for every parent is traumatic when their son ran away from home... even worse if it's two sons!
I hope you'll still like this story. Feel free to ask me any questions... but I could choose not to answer *sneers and gives a high five to Loki Senior * ;)
See ya on next chapter, probably the last one.
p.s. If you put this in the story alert or favourite story is flattering and I thank you all very, very, much, yeah, but all I ask for is a comment, even a tiny one, a word, pretty please! At least once, if I'm not asking too much, that's it.
Thanks anyway, of course.
I just need to know if I'm doing a decent job or I'm just wasting my time.