A/N: I can't thank everyone enough for the reviews and new alerts. Everytime I get one, it makes my day. :) I've tried to reply to everyone's reviews but if I missed you, I'm so sorry and THANK YOU!

With that being said, Six Dlbfive nominated my little story for fic. of the week over at The Lemonade Stand! I swear to God, I couldn't sleep last night, I was so freaking excited. I'm so honored to be put against so many other outstanding fics. Amazing. If you get a chance, go vote for me. If I actually win, I'd give ya'll something pretty special. Like maybe an extra chapter this week. :)

Billie Cullen, you may be a little stalkerish but you're a hell of a pimp. For fic. that is; I'm not sure about the kind of pimp who owns a few ho's. I'm sure you'd be a fine ho-owning pimp if you really wanted to. Okay, I'm going to shut up now.

The Lemonade Stand link is on my profile.:)

My biggest cheerleader, Softragoo, is responsible for the courage I had to write this story.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things twilight

Chapter Eleven

After my humiliating adventure on the carpet in the hallway, I stood up on shaky legs and cleaned up the floor with a towel. I told Edward that if he wasn't leaving, he could at least spare me the mortification and go sit on my couch. Reluctantly, he did so and with remarkable efforts, he kept his grumbling to a minimum. I appreciated his concern but I couldn't even look him in the eye; I didn't know how he expected me to continue any sort of self defense lesson.

"I'm okay," I told him as I walked heavily into the living room. "Really. I'm okay."

He grunted. "I told you that I'm not leaving."

I closed my eyes as I sat down on the opposite side of the couch. "This probably wasn't a good idea. I don't think I can do it."

His eyes were on me, I could tell, but I kept mine glued to the frayed hem of my grey t-shirt. I'd been living here for a couple months and it was the first time I thought about running. I could just pick up and go, no harm done. The people here meant a lot to me but, in time, I'd get over it. They'd get over it. Emmett would come home and they'd barely remember my name. An endless supply of tears fell from my eyelids no matter how many deep breaths I took.

"Do you want to tell me what triggered that?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You have to talk to someone," he suggested. "I don't care who it is, but you have to get it out. It's bottled up inside of you and it's going to fester like a disease."

"You sound like you're talking from experience."

He was quiet for a moment and I glanced up to meet his eyes but he was looking at his hands, picking at his fingernails.

"Do you want me to get Rose?" he asked.

"No, I want to be alone," I told him. "Please, just leave me—"

"If you don't want me to get Rose, then I'm going to stay. Get pissed at me, if you want, but I'm not leaving you when you're this upset."

I closed my eyes again. "I'm just so tired."

"You need to eat more. I take it that you don't sleep well, either."

My gut reaction was to snap at him and tell him to mind his own business. But Edward had made my welfare his business by trying to help me expel my demons and I hadn't fought him on it. I welcomed it. There was no pick and choose where he butted into my life.

Plus, he was right. Food wasn't my best friend and sleep typically brought on nightmares and flashbacks of Oklahoma. My body was worn out and my mind was following in its path—ruined and glazed over with disgust and poor self preservation.

"Was there something I did that you were uncomfortable with? You don't have to go into detail but if there was something I could avoid doing in the future, maybe we could get past this. You're strong, Bella. You're going to come through this."

"I don't feel strong. I feel…" What was it that I felt? So many different things—none of which were good. "I feel beaten."

"Did you feel beaten this morning after your run?" I shook my head. "Did you feel beaten when I showed up here tonight?"

I shook my head again, a tear tracing its way under my chin. It landed on my hand and I brushed it away with my fingertips.

"So, what happened?"

"You saw what happened."

"I did but nothing I saw tells me that you've lost. What I saw was a girl, a survivor, trying to get her life back. The memories are like poison. When one attacks your body, you have to fight it or it runs through your bloodstream and takes control."

I sighed and forced myself to look at him. Shame crawled all over me like spiders forming an indestructible web. "Look, I really appreciate what you're trying to do but what I really need to do is sleep. I need for you to go."

He made no movement for the door but instead, he leaned back into the cushions of the sofa. You can add 'stubborn' to the list of qualities in Edward. Following his lead, I pressed myself into the cushions and closed my eyes. If I fell asleep, he'd leave. Why would he stay?

So, I tried to sleep. I really did but each time my mind started allowing itself to drift off, I'd sense him there: The sound of his legs changing position or a soft cough that would chase off my subconscious. I had reached my breaking point and anger was starting to chase off my tears. When I opened my eyes, he was watching me and he didn't look away at the sudden eye contact.

"If I go to bed, are you just going to sit there?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said, "maybe, I'll just sleep here tonight." He patted his hand on the sofa. "Comfy."

I rolled my eyes and conceded. "Fine. It was when you were behind me and…and I could feel you against my back." I blushed furiously as he listened, and waited for me to continue. "That's what set me off."

He nodded. "Okay, I can work around that," then scooted a little closer to me. "Is this okay?"

I hated that he treated me like porcelain and I hated myself for appreciating it.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"These things are going to happen. You lived through a horrible experience, only months ago, and things are going to upset you. I understand that. I expected that, okay?" His voice was calm and soothing. I wanted to make a blanket out of it and wrap myself up. There was no room for nightmares with Edward's voice humming in my ear.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked.

He smirked and sang, "You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again."

I raised my eyebrows. "Wow. You're quoting Sinatra?"

He shrugged. "I've already used up all my own good advice so I pulled Frank out of my ass." He stood up and offered me his hand. "Do you think you can give it another go?"

"I can try," I replied and put my hand in his. It offered me warmth, strength and support as he helped me off the couch. He squeezed my fingers before releasing my hand and I felt its cold absence on my palm.

"How about I just get close to you? Do you think you'll be alright with that? It's okay if you're not, Bella. All you have to do is tell me."

"Like I said, I can try."

He shot me a sad, crooked smile and I followed him away from the sofa. For a minute he just watched me but then he moved closer. Closer. Closer, still until he was brushing against me. My breasts tickled his torso and one of my hips pushed into his upper thigh. I couldn't…no, wouldn't panic. I closed my eyes.

"No," he whispered. The warmth of his breath swept into my hair and I felt his finger curl around my thumb. "No, you have to keep your eyes open so you know that it's me."

"I'm not crazy," I peeped. "I know it's you."

He pressed closer and I almost rested my head against his chest. The temptation to melt into him was torturous. Maybe, I was crazy. The closeness of him had sent me into fits just thirty minutes prior but now, I wanted him closer. The warmth of his body sent shivers through my bones and my muscles ached as the left side of my brain waged war on the right. Lean into him…don't lean into him…lean into him…don't… His hand grazed the sensitive skin on my wrist, the sensation leaving me feeling vulnerable and giddy.

"I know you're not crazy." There was a smile in his voice and I opened my eyes to see the hole in the collar of his shirt, an inch from my nose. He was closer than I thought. Panic rose in my chest as his fingers trailed up my arm then back down to my wrist. I pushed it down until all I could focus on was the way the rough skin of his fingertips glided over my skin. His touch, oh God, his touch was terrifyingly delicious. It must have been my nerves that made my skin so sensitive. No one's touch had ever been so affective. My senses were overloaded and my emotions on edge so the mere brush of his skin against mine sent me into some space where everything felt ten times better…no different…no better.

"Look at me, Bella."

Slowly, my gaze drew up his chest and over his neck, marveling in the sharp growth on his chin. Never before had I wanted to touch something so bad. I wanted to run my cheek over his jaw, and feel the harshness of his stubble. The contrast between his gentle fingers and his rough beard would be remarkable. A warm, unfamiliar feeling similar to panic pushed into my belly. I got the sudden urge to cry out, but not in fear. My rapid breath, my racing pulse and my shaky legs weren't due to trepidation. It was something else.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

All I could get out was a weak, "Uh huh."

His chin brushed my forehead and I sighed. His hand made its way up my shoulder and around my neck. God, my neck. Another hotspot of flashback activity. I jerked when his fingertips passed over my windpipe. A vision of James popped into my head and I felt the warmth being replaced with ice.

"What is it?" he asked. "Do you not want me to touch your neck?"

He asked the question but his fingers kept grazing over my throat, testing and tickling. Nurturing and gentle.

"N-no, it's fine."

"Bella," he warned.

His voice hypnotized me into a feeling of safeness. His hard, warm body cocooned me into thinking that I really was someone else: An actress playing the role of a broken girl on the verge of a breakdown. This wasn't really me, I told myself. This was some other girl with some other life and this man in front of me was mine, not hers. James was fictional and never existed. He never made me bleed or bruised my skin. There never was a monster in Oklahoma who used to chase me through the dark with a loaded pistol. I was Bella, Charlie's outspoken girl who was proud and strong and beautiful.

The story was nice and for a moment I reveled in the lie but then I recalled the claim he's staked on my back. It wasn't movie makeup that would wash away. It defined me. Pushed me back into reality with a force of a thousand shoves.

"He used to choke me." I hadn't planned on saying it but something forced it out. My eyes pressed closed as the feel of his fingers against the skin of my neck ceased their movement as he chewed on my words.

"When we…when he…" God, why had I brought it up? I knew that if I stopped talking, Edward would drop it but the words felt solid as they came up my throat. Like bad Chinese.

I let my forehead drop to his chest. Edward was probably looking for an exit. His mind was probably trying to formulate an excuse to get the hell out of dodge before I could lay any more of my dysfunctional life at his feet. Just when I thought I'd lost him, I felt one hand on my back and then the other. His breath was slow and steady and I shamelessly inhaled the smell of him: Man, oil and detergent.

"He would wrap his belt around my neck, like a noose and while he was…behind me, he'd pull it until I couldn't breath." Humiliation made my face burn but hearing the words spoken out loud made my breath come easier. My body felt lighter even though my knees shook wildly. "He wasn't happy if I wasn't…struggling."

Edward's shirt was wet. Was that sweat? Had the air conditioner gone out again? I tipped my head back and felt snot dripping from my nose like water. I sniffed and tried to remember when I'd started crying again. He hugged me tighter to him and my hands twitched to hug him back but I couldn't muster up the courage. Why he was still here—I wasn't sure. He hadn't signed up for this; any of it. His plan had been to teach me how to break a nose or poke out an eye, not share our feelings and get cried on. I felt sorry for him that he was stuck in this warm apartment with me, so ruined and worthless.

I started to pull away. "You can go. You don't have to—"

"Can we just…can you stay like this for just a minute?" he asked. "I'm trying to…"

The deep breath he inhaled was released into my hair. He was shaking.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He sputtered out a quick humorless laugh. "You're asking me if I'm okay."

"I guess I am. It's just…you're shaking."

"I'm trying to make a decision."

I hated to ask but I couldn't keep from it. "On?"

How fast to run? Which way should he go? What was the best way to convince his kooky neighbor to leave him the hell alone?

"How to kill him."

I stiffened in his arms and he released his hold on me. I felt empty and whole at the same time, like when you stuff yourself with cake but you still want ice cream. Slowly, I tipped my chin back to look up at his eyes and there I saw that there was so much more to him than the messy hair and black tattoo. He was in pain; whether it was empathetic or something entirely different, I didn't know.

"You don't mean that," I said.

He swallowed and his jaw clenched. "Oh, I mean it."

"I don't think you could do it. You're too…" What was he exactly? Too moral? Too kind? Too smart? Yes, he was all those things but it wasn't what summed him up. "You're so much better than him."

The words I'd just said hit me like a truck. The separation between the two men had now been sliced in two like a page being torn in half. Edward was not James and he never would be. It took all kinds of people to fill the world: Happy and sad, evil and good. James was pure evil. I wasn't sure what Edward had done in his past but there was nothing that could make him anything but good. People made mistakes.

"I may have not committed the same sins as him but I'm no better," he mumbled. His hands completely left me and they fell to his sides. Slowly, he walked until his chest rubbed my shoulder. "Is this okay?"

"Yes," I whispered. "Why were you in prison?"

He sighed. "I can't tell you that. Not yet."

"Why?"

"Because I just can't," he said through his teeth. His agitation was palpable but I wasn't scared. Different people…they were two different people. He moved around so that he was behind me and my muscles ached from shivering. His chest brushed my shoulder blades and I could feel his breath in my hair.

The press of hard warmth against my back was so familiar that an image of James flashed into my vision. I remembered his hands, gripping my hips and holding me down on the days that I was strong enough to fight. Then I recalled the times I'd been submissive, lying beneath him until it was over.

My teeth started chattering and the panic rose up my throat.

"Breathe, Bella." Edward's voice was so close to my ear that I imagined his lips grazing the sensitive skin of my earlobe. "It's just me."

I knew at this point that this wasn't about self defense anymore. This was something so much more complex. My soul was bared and Edward could do what he wanted with it and I'd have no say. No objections. No arguments. The battle of panic and surrender fought in my blood and within the fibers of each of my tight muscles. Fight or flight. It had been such a huge part of my life the past year. I'd chosen both on occasion and I'd never been able to defend either until now.

This was right.

"Talk to me," I suggested. The battle within me was exhausting and I needed some sort of leverage for the fight. When questioning silence came from behind me, I answered it, "Tell me something that I don't know."

My head lulled back until it hit his chest, or his shoulder or his arm—I wasn't sure but it didn't matter. He was there. Edward was there. Only Edward.

He cleared his throat. "You burn more calories sleeping than you do when you're watching TV."

My eyes popped open and I chewed on my lip to suppress a grin.

"How do you do that?"

There was a smile in his voice. "Do what?"

"I'm wading through shit here, getting visions of hell itself, and you make me smile. You're so…"

"Clever? Handsome? Well endowed? I can keep going if you need help with the right adjective. I'm a wealth of knowledge; like a walking thesaurus."

The lip chewing wasn't helpful anymore. I let out a wet giggle followed by a few sniffles and a sigh. "I was going to say effectual. You know, you laugh and I follow even though I have no idea what the heck you're laughing about."

His chest pressed into my back just a little harder. "Maybe it's just you that is so easily persuaded."

I sobered quickly at his observation, remembering how easily I'd put the engagement ring on my finger in hopes of possible love. "Some things never change, I guess."

"I was only teasing, Bella."

I sighed. "Yeah, well, you're right." The weight of his hand eased onto my shoulder and he squeezed. A supportive motion but it was like having a ton of bricks land on my head. "Tell me something about you that I don't already know."

"Like what?"

"That's a ridiculous question. If I had any idea, I would have asked you but since I want you tell me something I don't know, then how am I supposed to ask about it?"

There was a pause then he said, "What?"

"Never mind," I mumbled, starting to turn around. "This is silly. We should just call it a night and—"

His hand on my shoulder kept me from twisting. "When I was younger, my sister had an obsession with wolves."

I stopped talking. Stopped breathing. Stopped blinking. Edward was not only going to talk about himself, but about his family. I swallowed. The hand that he had rested on my shoulder was gone, disappearing somewhere between "when" and "wolves". This would be hard for him; I knew that, even without the shaky hint of reluctance in his tone or the quick change in his breathing pattern. The thing that got me the most was that he was doing this for me, to ease my fear and help me regain some normalcy to my life.

"She must have watched that stupid 'Dances with Wolves' movie a hundred times, crying each time she watched the wolf get killed. At least once a day, she'd spout off some fact about wolves that no one really cared about. My mom thought it was sweet that she found an interest in learning about something other than nail polish or shoes. Dad thought it was just a phase. But when she turned fifteen, she approached them about this Wolf Habitat in Indiana. We were set to go on a vacation during our spring break but we hadn't decided where we were going yet. Being seventeen with normal seventeen year old male urges, I voted for Miami where visions of bikinis danced in my head. Mom wanted to take us somewhere historical; she was always trying to get us to have fun and learn at the same time. She was a teacher, you see—always thinking about our education."

I didn't let the past tense use of his mom throw me. He'd told me that his family was dead so it wasn't a surprise that he'd talk about them as a memory.

"My dad didn't give a shit where we went, as long as it was far away from Chicago. Apparently, Brookville, Indiana was not far enough away for him which was where the Wolf habitat was. Alice begged for just a day during our vacation to see the wolves. She told us that they let us pet them and used the 'learning about an endangered species' tactic on my mom." He chuckled at the memory and I couldn't help but smile. But my smile didn't last long. Edward had a sister and obviously, she wasn't alive anymore. Had all of them perished together, leaving Edward to fend for himself? I cringed at the idea. Before I thought too hard about it, I reached behind me and found his hand. He leaned forward, and pressed into my back with his chest and his chin brushed my ear. He sighed, almost as if he'd found comfort in the gesture.

"To make a long story short, we ended up going to Niagara Falls for our vacation. It was okay,"—he squeezed my hand—"but there were no bikini clad girls or bartenders willing to help a desperate high school kid get drunk. It was a nice family vacation. On our way back home, mom and dad surprised Alice with a trip to Brookville."

"I bet she was excited," I blurted.

He chuckled. The sound vibrated through my ear, through my sternum and into my belly where it rejuvenated the warmth that had been depleted by my horrible memories of James. I closed my eyes and leaned back into him until he was supporting some of my weight.

"Oh, Christ, all of us had ringing ears for the rest of the weekend," he said with laugh. "Alice was a squealer."

I laughed and pulled on his hand, settling it on my hip. A hotspot. Images threatened but I focused on the feel of Edward's rough chin against the skin of my neck and his soft, smooth voice.

"It was actually pretty cool. Alice was even into it when they fed them. They just threw whole deer carcasses into the enclosures with them and they fought for dominance over the meat. She became more than obsessed with the animals after that. On several occasions over that next summer, she got me to drive her the five hours so that she could visit the wolves. I bitched and moaned about it but I secretly liked the drive down there. We'd jam to whatever the hell she was listening to at the time; she'd ask me questions about sex and I'd answer her with lies."

"You lied to her about sex?"

"Well, she knew the basics already but I sort of fibbed about certain things so that she'd never do it."

"Like what?"

He sighed dramatically. "Well, let's see, I told her that condoms rarely work."

"Well, that's not so bad, I guess."

"And that semen smells like raw sewage," he added. My face screwed up with disgust. "There was no way Alice would let something like that come near her."

"That's disgusting," I noted.

His hand squeezed my hip playfully. "That was my angle."

"Did you like visiting with the wolves?" I asked.

"At first, it was all right but I didn't find it nearly as fascinating on our fourth or fifth trip out there. So, while she was making kissy face with a wild dog, I sat in the car and read or listened to music. I'd always make her buy me dinner on the way home, though and I could seriously eat when I was seventeen."

"You can still seriously eat."

He ignored me.

"For Christmas that year, Mom and Dad bought her an adoption at the Habitat. They adopted a wolf for her that was named Jericho."

My eyes went wide. "They adopted a wolf?"

He chuckled at my reaction. "Not in the bring-home-and-raise sort of fashion; it's more of a sponsorship. She was ecstatic. She was in Brookville at least once every couple of weeks throughout the year. God, she was in love with that wolf. I think a part of him was in love with her, too. I swear to God, he'd know when she was coming because every time we arrived, he'd be standing at the front almost waiting for her. He'd grunt and groan as she rubbed his belly and whispered in his ear like they were best friends."

"That's sweet," I said.

"Yeah," he replied. Then he grew quiet and I could sense his demons had ganged up on him. "How ya' doin'?"

I nodded, having nearly forgotten that he'd started the whole tale on account of me. After I'd taken stock in my own emotions, I was elated to feel nothing but sympathy for Edward. Maybe some curiosity about his family and some comfort from the cocoon he'd weaved over me with his own body. For the first time in months—wrapped up in Edward—I felt safe.

There were so many questions that burned in my brain about Alice and his family. I couldn't. It would ruin this, what we had in this moment. The warmth, the closeness, and the safeness would disappear with the words. I was too selfish, too wrapped up in that foreign and delightful feeling that was coursing through my body.

I decided to go with a safer question. "Does Jericho still live at the habitat in Indiana?"

"As far as I know," he replied. "I haven't been there in a while."

And that was it, his shield was back up and the hand he had placed on my hip fell to his side. I twisted and he backed up a step so that my chest wasn't brushing against him. I was grateful but oddly disappointed.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You know that you don't have to—"

I didn't let him finish. "Yes, I do. I appreciate you sharing a part of your life with me like that just so I could, I don't know, pull myself together. I don't want you to think that you shared that with me for nothing."

The Adam's Apple in his throat bobbed up and down as he looked at me. His eyes, a jade green, were full of pain and compassion. He glanced at my lips and I froze. Did he want to kiss me? Better yet, did I want him to kiss me? No, I couldn't possibly want him to kiss me. Nothing that started with kissing ended well no matter who the man was that owned the lips. Sex was disgusting and dirty and pointless. Kissing wasn't any different—just not as evasive. But the feelings I got, deep down in my core, when he leaned toward me were not panic. They weren't disgust. They were anticipation.

His hand cupped my cheek and he was so close and I didn't pull away. I should have pulled away because a large part of me wanted to stop him and run for cover. But that tiny part, that was curious and excited and bubbled with delight, was dominating my stance—my wide eyed, stiff stance that probably spoke volumes of the waging war inside of me.

"Bella," he whispered as his lips grazed over the cheek that wasn't occupied with his hand. They were soft and rough and I wanted more. No, I didn't. Yes…I did. "You are so sweet."

His other hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him so that I was in that safe zone again. It undid me. I leaned into him and just let him take control. No more internal battles of debate in regards to the right thing for my self-preservation. I gave into him, something I swore I'd never do after I left Oklahoma and ran from James.

James. Shit! Had I forgotten all the times he'd kissed me gently on the cheek and professed his love for me? Had I forgotten where it got me? I knew that there was no comparison between the two but allowing myself to go back there wasn't worth it. I couldn't go back to giving something of myself away to someone. Who was Edward, really, anyway? He had secrets. What if he'd been to prison for beating the hell out of a girlfriend? There was too much about him that I didn't know. There were too many questions and just because my insides melted when he touched me and my brain went all fuzzy when he looked at me didn't mean that I should give him my heart. It wasn't worth it.

Just as his lips brushed against mine, I put my hand on his chest and jerked out a push. Of course, I didn't move him but it was a clear signal. His head snapped back and he looked at me, his expression confused. Then realization crept into his eyes. He nodded once and dropped both hands. I regretted it…no, I didn't…oh, yes I did.

"I'm sorry," he whispered then turned swiftly toward the door.

My heart almost shattered.

"Wait, Edward! I didn't—"

"Have a good night, Bella," he interrupted without turning to look at me. "You can have tomorrow off."

Then he closed the door behind him. I couldn't help but swiftly follow him and lock it as I heard the sound of his own door opening and closing across the hall. Without thinking too much about it, I got ready for bed and thought about turning some lights out, like a normal person would do. I had the same conversation with myself every night as I lay on my mattress with my sheets up to my chin. Turning off the lights was no big deal. The bathroom sink still dripped whether it was day or night. My milk still sat, three days expired, on the top shelf of my fridge whether it was light or dark. Nothing changed just because I flipped a switch.

Being the typical nutcase that I was, I told myself that the lights didn't hurt anyone. No one would even know that I was twenty four years old and scared of the bogeyman. Sure, it was atypical but I had actually had an experience with a real-life bogeyman in Oklahoma. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, normal people.

So, my inner nutcase won out and the lights stayed on which gave me plenty of time to think about the events of the evening. I'd screwed up in more ways than one. Allowing James into my psyche during Edward's lesson was the first screw up. I had to get better trying to forget and let go of the past or I'd never be able to achieve, well, life. My second mistake was not letting Edward get Rose, in turn, letting him stay. I was thankful that Edward had told me about his sister and the wolves but his sincerity only led me to my third mistake: I let myself become entangled in Edward. There were feelings there and I couldn't think of him, or anyone else, in that way. Edward was helping me and the first chance I got, I allowed myself to feel for him.

My fourth mistake was a murky one. It went against everything that I'd just told myself to believe in and live for. It sent tingles down my spine and onto my scalp, giving me no other option but to smile a little. Just this once, I should have let him kiss me.

On Wednesday, while Emily was in school, Rose borrowed Edward's car and we drove to the clinic where she usually went if anyone in her brood got sick. It wasn't the cleanest place and the nurses all had permanent constipated looks on their faces but I was able to get tested just to make sure that James didn't give me anything. It was humiliating but necessary.

Just as usual, that morning Edward had picked me up bright and early for our run, with Rose and Sammy tagging along. She'd found a decent stroller at one of the second hand baby shops in town and she was ready to roll. Edward was distant and mostly quiet, except when I voiced Esme's invitation for a fall cookout at her home for the following Sunday.

"I can't go," he grumbled.

"Why?" Rose was panting and sputtering as she attempted to run but was trucking through it. I was proud of her for keeping the pace. Edward had taken over stroller duty and it was rather comical to watch. You don't see a grumpy man pushing a baby stroller filled with giggling, chubby child very often. "Your meeting doesn't start until five thirty. That gives us plenty of time to—"

"You know that I have other obligations on Sunday, Rose," he spat.

She tried to sigh but it came out as a wheeze. "God, my shins are killing me." She did some sort of shuffle-run and caught up to Edward. "You can skip it for one Sunday. God isn't going to put a lightening bolt in your ass just because you don't go. You should come. It'll be fun."

He sped up which caused Rose and myself to scowl at his back. "I can't drop everything for a cookout. How are you going to get there if you don't take my car?"

She narrowed her eyes. "We'll ride the bus."

"You won't ride the bus if I'm not on it with you."

Her mouth dropped open and she gaped at him even though he couldn't see it. She recovered and said, "The hell I won't! Just because Emmett…"—she coughed and wheezed a little—"assigned you to take care of us don't mean that you decide where and when I'll go somewhere."

"I'm responsible for—"

"Stuff a sock in it, Edward. We'll talk about this later because right now, I'm ready to keel over and I can't have a good argument when I'm concentrating on my ass jiggling too much or my knees caving in."

The rest of the run, Edward was quiet and Rose was scowling.

"Edward can be a jerk sometimes," Rose grumbled on our way home from the clinic. "He still won't go on Sunday."

"What does he do on Sunday afternoons, anyway?"

She sighed and cut her eyes to me. "Since I'm so peeved at him, I don't mind dishing his dirt when he's not around. I don't think he'd care if you knew, anyhow. He goes to the late morning service at the Grapevine Church downtown and then afterwards, he goes to Faith Mission to serve dinner to the homeless."

I looked at her in shock. That had not been what I was expecting.

"Every Sunday?"

She snorted. "Yes, every freaking Sunday. Don't get me wrong, I think what he's doing is an admirable thing but he's not doing it because he wants to. It's sort of a retribution kind of thing."

"Retribution for what exactly?"

"For something he blames himself for every day of his life. That's all I can really say about it because I'm not peeved enough at him to air out all his dirty laundry. If he misses a Sunday, he gets all worked up about it and ends up back to square one. All gloomy and shh…stuff"

"It's like a therapy for him," I noted.

She shrugged. "I guess. It doesn't seem to be helping him, though. He just stays in one place in his mind—been there since he got out of Pekin five years ago. The man does nothing for himself because he doesn't feel he deserves it. I don't know what he's going to do once Emmett gets out and we aren't there for him to take care of."

"I've had the same thought," I told her.

"Well, it's not like we're going to shut him out of our lives or anything. But we'll be a family for the first time since…well, ever. My butt muscles are really hurting by the way. Any suggestions for that?"

I wasn't sure if she was changing the subject on purpose or not so I just rolled with it. "I thought you'd have some pretty good butt muscles since you spend a few nights a week dancing on a pole."

She gave me a shocked open-mouthed look but let out a bark of laughter. "Girl, I do not pole dance. I have a whole routine worked out. They call me 'The Vampire Vixen' because I wear this cheesy vampire outfit."

I snorted out a laugh. "What exactly do you wear?"

"Oh, fake teeth, a cape and little black pasties," she replied.

When I was done giggling, I asked when she was quitting since she didn't want Emmett to know about it.

"Well, he should be out right around Halloween so probably a couple of weeks before he's released. I'll have to burn all my thongs," she said then added, "unless you want them."

"Good Lord, no. What would I do with them?"

She shrugged and shot me a wink. "You might meet someone."

I grew serious and waved my hands in front of me like an umpire calling a runner safe. "Never again."

"You can't mean that."

"Oh, I do," I told her.

"Not all men are dogs, Bella. In fact, a good majority of men are decent and good. Look at Edward, for instance. He's a catch."

I raised my eyebrows and wondered for a moment if he had told her about what happened in my apartment a couple nights prior. "Edward is a great guy with a retribution problem."

She shrugged. "Well, we all have our issues. Sometimes, we need a little help from someone we love to sort them out. He likes you, you know."

"How do you know? Did he say something?" I tried hard not to sound like a teenage girl but my voice still came out squeaky.

A crooked grin played at her mouth. "Remember when I told you that Edward doesn't let people into his life?" I nodded. "Well, look at you. There's something about you that makes him sweat. I know Edward so don't try to deny it."

So, I made Edward sweat. What exactly did that mean and why did it make me a little happy? I decided to change the subject because I couldn't go there even if a tiny part of me wanted to.

"If you're quitting your job at the club, are you going to look for another one?" I asked.

She snickered because she knew the reasoning behind my subject change.

"Emmett has a brother in the area who owns a shipping warehouse. Even though I don't really like the guy, Emmett has kept in touch with him the past ten years so he's going to work for him when he's out. It won't be glamorous but it'll pay the rent."

"Have Emmett's parents visited him?"

"Oh, heck no," she answered. "They disowned him the second they found out that he knocked me up. Brad is the only one in his family who still talks to him."

"Brad is his brother," I concluded.

"Yeah, and neither Emmett nor me trust him but he can't turn down a job."

"Why don't you trust him?"

"Brad is just sleazy, you know what I mean? He's always got this…this look in his eyes like he thinks he's better than you. He makes you feel stupid half the time without making it obvious. What's the word for it?"

"Asshole?"

She laughed. "Yeah, that's it."

"Ath-ole!" Sammy yelled from the backseat.

"Nice, Bella. Nice."

That evening after Rose had went to work, I baked up some chocolate chip cookies out of some pre-made dough that I had gotten at the market that day. When I was done, I had about four dozen. I wrapped up some for Edward, some for Rose and some for Jacob.

Jacob answered the door with pants on this time. He smiled brightly at my offering and told me that I deserved some Shania, even though it would almost surely make his ears bleed.

"If you want to listen to some good shit, you should come by Breaking Dawn sometime on a Saturday night," he said grinning.

"What's Breaking Dawn?"

"Oh, fuck, it's this club I DJ at on weekends. Fucking rocks. You and Rose should come sometime and I'll get you some drinks for free. How zat?"

I shrugged. "It's not really my kind of place."

He held his hands out, palms up. "You haven't even been there yet, honey. How do you know it's not your kind of place if you haven't been there?"

"Does it get crowded?"

"Like a whore house on Christmas Eve," he replied.

"Then it's not my kind of place. I'm seriously uncomfortable in crowds."

"Honey, my name is big there. I'd make sure that you get taken care of," he said. "Thanks for the cookies."

"No problem," I told him. "Share with Leah."

He stuffed the remained of a cookie in his mouth and waved his hand at me. "Oh, she's at work. Won't even know they existed by the time she gets here."

I laughed as he shoved another bite into his mouth and closed the door.

Next, was Rose's and since it was after eight, I tapped on the door. Moments later, it opened to a tired looking Edward.

"Did I wake you up?" I whispered.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned as if making a show out of his tired appearance. "Yes."

I apologized and he just blinked at me.

"Here," I said, thrusting the cookies at him, "I made you guys some cookies."

He sneered a little. "I hope you kept some for yourself. You need the extra weight."

I narrowed my eyes and pointed my finger at him. "Listen here, buddy. I don't know what crawled up your ass but you're being an asshole."

"I've always been an asshole."

"No, you've always been blunt. You've just started being an asshole."

He sighed. "Well, I'm sorry you've mistaken me for someone who gives a shit."

I crossed my arms over my chest and hissed, "Apparently!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Next thing I knew, I was huffing behind my own closed, locked door. Something I'd done had obviously pissed him off. He'd acted this way since Monday night when I'd stopped him from kissing me. Was it simple rejecting that turned his blood cold or was it something else? I couldn't imagine that stopping the intimate moment was too hard on his ego. It wasn't like he was going in for a kiss with Miss America for God's sake. Rejection from me was likely to earn a shrug or maybe an eye roll at best.

Sadness crept over me when I realized what it was. He was angry because I'd finagled information out of him about his family. Of course! He'd told me a very personal story about his sister and now he regretted it. Each time he saw me, it probably reminded him of how careless and stupid he'd been to share that information with me.

There were a couple ways to handle his anger. I could ignore it, which would be the easiest choice, and hope that eventually he would let it go. Or I could divulge some of my own secrets to make him feel less vulnerable. Having figured that he already knew too many of my secrets I went with the former.

However, one thing was certain: Ignoring Edward would not be an easy feat.

A/N: Okay, who's mad at Bella? I felt pretty bad about what I did to Edward but I figured Bella having a breakdown and then twenty minutes later, making out just didn't feel right. Even if it IS Edward. He's angry but it's not what you think it's about. ;)

I have a lot of readers who are worried about Jake. Who thinks he's bad? Good? Just a chill dude who lives next door? Just curious.

If you voted for my fic. at The Lemonade Stand, THANK YOU! I appreciate each, any and ALL reviews!