Chapter 8

As they walked through the front door of the Grill, Damon took Elena's hand and held it up to his chest. She was nervous, vibrating with tension like a guitar string tuned too high. But he was bursting with pride that she was finally his and a part of him wanted everyone to know it, even as Elena was getting ready to face this first real challenge of her new life. He glanced over at Stefan, whose hands were balled into fists inside the front pockets of his leather jacket, and got a scowl in return.

Stefan leaned his head down, whispering in Elena's ear. "You don't have to do this, you know. Not right now anyway."

She surveyed the room, squeezing Damon's hand. "I want to." The brothers followed as she led them into the restaurant. Across the room at a large booth, Caroline was climbing over Tyler, arms wide, to come greet Elena, while Matt and Jeremy sat on the opposite side of the booth, peering apprehensively at the new vampire. Their table was overflowing with plates of appetizers: nachos, chicken wings, fried mozzarella sticks, potato skins.

As Caroline approached, Damon heard her murmur quietly, "don't worry, we've got you." For all her teen drama and angst, it was impossible to miss how Caroline had grown since he had first come to town and, yes, used her like a puppet. She was still a beauty queen, but now she was strong, smart, and loyal in a way that he could rely on and respect. Damon realized he was glad to have her on his side. He might even consider an apology someday. Elena closed her eyes as Caroline wrapped her arms around her. "How is she?" she asked Stefan over Elena's shoulder.

Elena pulled away. "She's fine. And she can talk," Elena chided.

Caroline bit her lip, releasing her hug but taking Elena's free hand. "I'm here for you, okay? We all are. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Elena repeated, breaking eye contact.

"Good, because we are going to have SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER!" Caroline clapped and bounced, but Elena could only offer a strained grin.

The three young men all stood as Caroline led Elena over to the table. Tyler gave her a quick hug and followed Caroline to the far end of the booth. As Matt approached, Damon stepped between them – not to protect Elena, as he so often had before, but to protect Matt.

"Hey, ladykiller," Damon said, holding his hand out to shake.

Matt took it, confused. "Um, hey."

"Elena is a bit… pointy right now. Let's save the hugging for next week, okay?" Damon smirked as Matt backed away. But Stefan rolled his eyes. He could see right through his protective gesture to the ex-boyfriend jealousy beneath it.

Jeremy sulked behind Matt. "Elena," he said, his voice breaking. "How do you feel?"

"Good, I guess." Damon knew what she was really feeling: hungry. Despite the three blood bags she downed before they left, there was nothing to match the satisfaction of fresh human blood. And it surrounded her, hot and pulsing. She was being brusque with her close friends and it was clear why: so much of her attention was devoted to not killing anyone that she couldn't muster the energy or creativity to make everyone around her feel better about the situation. The best she could do was not kill anyone, a little bit at a time, from one moment to the next.

Jeremy took a hesitant step toward Elena but Stefan pushed him away. "Damon's right, Jeremy. Be patient with her. She's not going anywhere," he assured him with only the hint of an edge.

"Ever," Matt muttered as he slid into the booth beside Caroline and Tyler. Jeremy joined him, visibly shaken by Stefan's words. On the other side of the booth, Stefan, then Elena, and finally Damon slid into their spots. Damon leaned back, draping his arm along the back of the booth as the group fell into an uncomfortable silence.

Caroline was the first to break it. "Who's hungry?"

"Me," Tyler said as he reached for a chip and tore away an enormous chunk of cheese and toppings. They all watched as he maneuvered it into his mouth.

"Dude, classy," Matt teased.

Elena reached out, pulling away an even larger chunk and stuffing it unceremoniously into her mouth, crunching loudly with her mouth half open. Caroline gasped, eyes wide, to see her normally well-behaved friend be so vulgar, but then Tyler guffawed and the relief of finally being able to laugh again cascaded through the group, first to Matt and Jeremy, then Stefan and Elena, and then, like a dam breaking, Caroline, in a fit of giggles. Damon watched them, a grin spreading across his face. Elena was lucky to have them. So was he.

After less than half an hour, Damon called an end to Elena's participation in the festivities. "Sorry, folks. Party's over. We've got places to go and witches to see."

Elena leaned into him slightly, a move that he knew meant thank you. He stood and motioned for her to slide out of the booth.

"Jeremy, we need you to go home," Stefan said as he slid out behind Elena.

"I'll be there later," Jeremy said, too dismissively for Damon's taste. There was something in Jeremy that brought out the overbearing father in Damon. What was it? Maybe he reminded Damon of himself, before the seriousness of war rubbed off on him. Or maybe Jeremy was just too much of a punk for his own good.

"Now," Damon insisted. "Bonnie's coming over to do the ring thing."

"You don't need me for that." Damon squinted at him. Was he frightened of being with Elena? He hadn't spent any time with her since she'd woken up, hadn't barged in demanding to see his sister. If it had been Damon, he would have broken down walls to be with her. What was Jeremy's problem?

Matt's face was suddenly drawn, the reality crashing in on him anew. "Jeremy, you have to invite her in."

Jeremy froze for a moment, his mouth open. "Oh. Right."

Caroline, Tyler, and Matt stayed behind as Damon led the rest of them out of the Grill. Elena's hand found Damon's before they reached the door. He squeezed. "You did it," he whispered.

In the parking lot, Stefan opened the door of his little red two-seater and gestured for Elena to get in. She glanced at Damon, a kind of caution in her eyes, as she lowered herself into the seat. Stefan smugly flipped his keys around his index finger and flashed Damon a satisfied grin. It would have bothered him before, but now he sensed that she would rather be alone with him than be with anyone else, including Stefan. There was a sort of magnetic pull between the two of them, a familiar tug he recognized from watching her share it with Stefan.

Jeremy petulantly took a seat in the mustang. Great, Damon thought, five minutes of uninterrupted sulking.

They arrived at Elena's – now Jeremy's – house to find Bonnie waiting for them with her grimoire clutched against her chest. Before Damon even turned off the engine, Jeremy had pressed the car door open. "Let's get this over with."

"You and your sister…" Damon muttered, pocketing his keys as he climbed out.

Elena squared her shoulders as she walked up to the house, Stefan trailing behind. Damon tried to decode this particular brooding look – confused? Summarily dumped? Or had they spent the short ride over surrounded by a crushing silence? His expression was inscrutable. Or perhaps Stefan was just focused on keeping Bonnie and Jeremy alive for now, as he was.

Bonnie held the grimoire like a shield against Elena.

"Hi," Elena offered.

"Hi," Bonnie breathed warily.

Jeremy tramped up the stairs to the porch, unlocked the front door, and stood in the doorway. It occurred to Damon how cruel it was that every other vampire they knew, with the exception of their crispiest enemy, was welcome at the Gilbert house except Elena. "Come on in, Elena," he mumbled, looking at no one.

"Thanks, Jer," she responded, her voice strained but warm. She squeezed his arm gently as she walked past him into the house and straight upstairs to her room. Stefan followed.

Bonnie was frozen on the porch. "After you," Damon prodded. He followed her inside and closed the door behind them.

Upstairs in her room, Elena sank down onto her bed. She looked tired. Stefan perched by the window next to Jeremy, who was studying some unimportant detail out the window. Bonnie opened the grimoire on the white comforter and uncurled her right hand to reveal a small silver band.

"Try this on," Bonnie said a little abruptly, holding the ring out.

Damon considered not doing this with Stefan there, but the moment was upon them and he didn't want to turn back. "Actually," he announced, "I have a ring. For Elena."

Stefan's head tilted. He had to know which ring Damon was talking about. I'm sorry brother, Damon thought as he pulled a small, shimmering ring out of the inside pocket of his jacket. It was simple and old-fashioned, a pearl surrounded by silver filigree. He had kept it hidden even when he was a young man, when he wore the Confederate gray, and after, when he fled Mystic Falls once he turned. The memory floated before his eyes of morning light glinting off of it as his mother's pale fingers pushed open the curtains next to his childhood bed. He held the ring out to Elena, his silent heart swelling with the desire to pound.

"Damon," Elena whispered as she let him press it onto her finger, her eyes glowing with delight and adoration. He couldn't look away from her, even when he heard Stefan slam her bedroom door behind him. "It's beautiful."

"It was my - our mother's," he said, nodding in the direction Stefan had gone.

"Are you sure you want me to have this? If Bonnie spells it, I won't be able to give it back to you."

Damon took the hand with the ring and kissed it softly. "It's yours now, Elena."

Bonnie coughed, interrupting their moment. "It doesn't matter which ring. Just give it to me." She held her hand open and Elena slipped it off, placing it lightly in her palm. Bonnie began to whisper under her breath, her eyes closing slowly. A few moments later, it was over. "Done." Her expression was hard but even Damon could see Bonnie's exterior was cracking.

Elena took back the ring. "Bonnie -"

"I just feel like I've lost my best friend." A tear drew a thick wet line down Bonnie's cheek.

"Bonnie, don't say that." Elena was close to breaking. He knew better than most how overwhelming the feeling of guilt was for a vampire. "I'm still me. I know it's hard to believe, but it doesn't really change us much."

"Except that you're dead, Elena," Jeremy broke in. That kid needed to be grounded in the worst way.

Damon took a menacing step in his direction. "Don't be a dick."

Elena wiped a tear away. "Do I look dead, Jeremy? I would have been if it weren't for Damon and Stefan. But now… I'm not fragile anymore. I can stay by your side, I can protect you for the rest of your life. Both of you. Don't you see? I can make sure that you're safe. Finally, I can do something to counteract all the evil I've brought into your lives."

Both girls were crying now. "Can I give you a hug?" Bonnie asked, whining with the tears. Elena nodded, grimacing against a sob, and the girls folded into the familiar embrace that had carried them through years of loss, heartache, fear, and change.

Damon knew it wasn't a good idea. Elena's body relaxed but his was instantly on high alert. To be that close to a vein was difficult for any vampire, but one less than a day old? He willed her to keep it together, and at first she seemed to be, but then she bent her neck back slightly and he knew the fangs were next. He seized Bonnie and wrenched her out of Elena's grip.

"What are you -" Bonnie began, but stopped when she saw Elena's bright red eyes. Elena pierced her own lip trying to fight the urge to bite her oldest friend.

"Oh my god," Jeremy gasped.

"Time to go," Damon called over his shoulder as he swept Elena in front of him and down the stairs.

She wilted into the car, her face back to normal but her expression haunted. "I could have killed her."

"But you didn't."

"I wanted to." She shook her head. "Was this a terrible mistake?"

Damon gunned the engine and pulled onto the street, eager to enfold her in the safety of his bed. Their bed. "It only feels like that right now." His hand found its reassuring perch just above her knee.

She took his hand in hers, turning it over so she could look at her new ring. "But Stefan..."

"Yes, he may be a little upset."

"I have to talk to him. So do you."

"Yeah," Damon began. "I don't know if it'll help."

The boarding house was quiet. On the table by the door were two letters.

Elena,

I'm sorry I let you turn. I shouldn't have. But I've never been able to say no to you. I've never been strong enough. Not like Damon.

As you change with your new life, don't for one second lose sight of him. He loves you differently than he ever loved Katherine, believe me. He loves you differently than I have loved you, I think. Maybe he loves you better. And whether you like it or not, he will safeguard the humanity that you may soon stop caring about. As time goes by, you'll miss it. He won't let it go.

Please don't come looking for me out of guilt. Although I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt to leave you both, this is my choice. As Damon is yours.

I will never stop loving you.

Damon,

Elena may say she loves me, but it pales compared to her love for you. And I know what it must have meant to you to give her mother's ring. I'm not going to stand in your way anymore. Not after walking these last few excruciating hours in your shoes.

I was never able to right the wrong I did to you when I forced you to turn. But I can give you this. I can let you go.

If you ever need me, you know where to find me.

Stefan