My prereader, Softragoo, is the Leonardo to my Kate. Minus the big sinking boat. And the dying stuff.
Song Rec for this chapter is "Shelter" by The XX. I will post a link to the song on my Facebook Page. :)
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.
This one is a doozie! PLEASE, keep in mind that this is seen through the eyes of Bella so some things might be a little distorted through her perspective. Ladies and Gentleman, meet Emmett...
Chapter Seventeen
"Would you hold still? I almost took your ear off!"
Edward covered his ear with his fingers as a protective measure. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."
I rolled my eyes. "If you hold still and quit worrying, it will turn out decent."
"Decent?"
"It'll be awesome. Fantastic. You'll be the envy of every man on the planet."
Reluctantly, he took his hand down, leaving his ear vulnerable to the scissors I held firmly between my fingers. He'd just gotten out of the shower and the long hair on top was hiding half his face. If you ignored the inked wolf snout poking up from under the collar of his shirt, he looked remarkably innocent sitting on the stool in Rosalie's kitchen.
"I think you should give him a mohawk," Emily said with a grin.
Edward tensed. "If you even think—"
"Emily, go do your homework," I ordered. "If it's complete by the time I'm done here, we can watch The Princess Bride." I sighed, dramatically saying, "Again."
Her face brightened. "Will you act out the movie with me? I can be Buttercup and you can be Wesley."
Edward looked up at me, amusement crinkling the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, Bella, will you?"
I snipped the scissors at him, swiping at the air in an aggressive fashion.
"Yes, Emily, but we have to check your homework to make sure it's right before we do any re-enactments."
She scampered off down the hall in a rush.
Carefully, I began pulling up strands of soft, wet hair between my fingers and trimming it. It gave me free range to finally run my hands through the soft dark strands, taking my time as it glided between my fingers. Edward closed his eyes and let out a soft moan, oblivious to the fact that what I was doing had nothing to do with the hair cut.
Rose was at work. It was her last night at the strip club and she'd been eager to get it over with. Emmett was coming home next week and she was a hot mess. Ignoring Edward, she'd been deep cleaning every inch of the apartment like she was preparing for a visit from Queen Elizabeth. Every morning she could, she was out jogging with us and eating salad instead of hamburgers. It had paid off. While she still had curves and some extra weight around her waist, she looked leaner. She still worried, even though I told her that she looked perfect, and that I'd kill for her hips and her D cups. Then she told me that she'd kill for my perky ass. Then I'd tell her that her hair was at least manageable where as mine was dry and bland. Then she'd tell me that I had perfect skin and then would point out a zit that had formed on her nose overnight. The bickering didn't end until someone broke it up. Edward seemed amused by these fights so it was rarely him, unless he was hungry or tired. He told us that we were far more entertaining than anything he'd find on TV. Most of the time, it would be Emily who'd intervene and tell us that we were both stupid.
"Who is going to pick up Emmett?" I asked as I started snipping again.
His eyes remained closed as he answered. "Rose wants to go."
"Is she taking the kids?"
"I don't know," he said, shrugging lazily.
"We should watch them for her overnight so that they can get reacquainted," I offered.
"Like, in a hotel room?"
I nodded, even though he wasn't looking. "Yeah, in a hotel room. We could watch Sam and Em overnight so that they can spend time together. Alone."
"They'll have time together here," he said.
I peeked down the hallway to make sure that Emily was out of earshot. "Em is going to have a hard time with this. She hasn't had to share her Mom in a really long time and I have a feeling she's not going to like it."
"It'll take time for all of them but I think once Emily gets to know Emmett, she'll be fine. What makes you think she's going to have trouble with it?"
I moved around to trim the front, taking peeks at him as he remained defenseless behind closed lids. His dark lashes brushed his cheeks and his mouth was loose and sensual. I fought the urge to brush my lips against his, soft and warm and gentle. My stomach warmed and the goldfish fluttered.
"How'd you break your nose?" I asked.
His eyes snapped open and they widened. In all my shameless staring, I hadn't realized that my breasts were right in front of his face. My breath hitched and I went to jump away but his hands on the back of my thighs stopped me. He rarely touched me unless it was my back in a reassuring rub or my hand when he held it. His eyes moved over my breasts, up my chest and then his gaze met my eyes. My face flushed and my breath seemed to wheeze out of me. The large, warm palms on the back of my thighs pulled me gently closer to him. Inch by inch until his nose brushed against the side of my left breast.
The scissors dropped from my hand and onto the floor as I put my hands on his shoulders. His knee was wedged between my thighs and I could feel his warm breath against my nipple. Through a layer of shirt and bra, it felt like my nerves exploded. I bit back a moan. His palms slid up and down the backs of my legs, so close to my bottom. Internally, I struggled with old fears and a new rush of emotions that made me ache to have him touch me anywhere and everywhere. I'd been touched everywhere before but not with such gentleness.
Before I knew what was happening, Edward had my nipple in his mouth. Through the layers of clothing, I could feel it tighten and respond to the play of his lips. I wanted to cry out, curse, pull him closer but the best I could do was dig my fingers into the hard muscles of his shoulders.
Warmth pooled low in my belly. My muscles tightened and my knees shook. His hands moved over my rear and he kneaded his fingers into the flesh, pulling me flush against him in the process. When his mouth released my nipple, it was replaced with a strong palm. Then he moved on to the other side. My resolve fell to pieces and I would have given him anything in that moment. Everything that was woman inside of me was churning and stretching and responding to his touch.
Someone moaned; probably it was me. I wasn't really certain of anything because I was focused on fighting every rising instinct that my brain threw at me. What I wanted and what should be done were two different things. I should have pulled away. Emily was ten feet away in her room and Sam was doodling with Crayons in front of the TV. It was irresponsible. Inappropriate. But it felt so, so good. I wanted to tear off my shirt and feel how his mouth would wet my sensitive skin without the layer of cotton in his way. It would be warm and moist and delicious. I wanted to climb on him, straddle him, and search for luscious friction to appease the throbbing between my legs.
Dirty…fucking…whore…
The voice was in my brain but that didn't make it any less real. Suddenly Edward's mouth was someone else's. I felt the desire seep out of me like rotten honey and my throat seized with panic. With every ounce of internal strength, I willed myself to remain still and I wished the memories away. This was nothing like that…nothing at all…
Get on your knees, you dirty…little…bitch…
Edward's teeth pulled on my nipple and a flash of James rushed through my mind. I tried to focus on the here and now but I remembered James' teeth as he sunk them into my skin, leaving bite marks on my arms and torso. They never scarred and it pissed him off. He wanted the outline of his jaw to remain on my body forever just like the carving he's made on my back. He never doubted his ability to keep me as his own personal prisoner but if I ever got away from him, he made sure that I wouldn't forget him. Pain and helplessness flooded through me and suddenly, I wasn't in Chicago anymore but naked and on my knees in James' bed.
I focused on the weight of the leather bracelet on my wrist, the unbroken trinity. My fingers dug into Edward's shoulder and his lips broke free from my nipple. I whimpered; not at the loss of contact but from the painful struggle of good versus evil in my brain.
"You are so beautiful, Bella," he murmured against my breast. His voice brought me back. The sweet, husky whisper of Edward's voice brought me back from the past. All I could think about was that he was in front of me, and touching me gently. I wasn't in Oklahoma but in Chicago, surrounded by safe strong arms. "I'm going to take care of you, Bella. I promise you." His large hands moved from my bottom then down the back of my thighs. His nose moved seductively against the sensitive skin of the swell of my breast and I sucked in a breath. "…so beautiful."
"Bella!" Emily called from down the hall. Thank heavens for her desire to use her outside voice on the inside. "I'm done with my homework!"
"Oh shit," I hissed, backing away from Edward. I straightened my hair with my palms; whatever for, I wasn't sure. His hands hadn't gone up that far.
"Give me something…anything…" Edward whispered harshly.
I shot him a perplexed look and he pointed down at the large bulge between his hips. My eyes widened and I grabbed a book off the table. Just as Emily appeared in the kitchen, he covered himself and looked up at her innocently. My face, however, was as red as a barn.
"You're not finished yet?" she whined.
I cleared my throat. "Uh…I'm getting there."
She screwed up her face. "What's wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're all red and…twitchy," she observed.
I giggled. It was loud and hysterical.
"Okay." She drew out the word to accentuate our weirdness. "How close are you to being done?"
"Uh…" I looked at Edward's hair. "I'm halfway there."
"God, I have to go to bed in like a half hour!" Then she stormed back down the hallway.
I blew out a sigh of relief. "That was close."
He looked up at me and winked. "I was pretty close myself."
A week later, I was struggling to keep myself in check as I shelved books at work. I couldn't explain the reasoning behind my anxiety, except that a new person—a man—was soon to break up the perfect balance I had built with the people in my apartment building. I didn't know Emmett and he'd been in prison for ten years. Plus, from what Edward and Rose said, he was a pretty big dude. While I was thrilled for Rose to be getting her husband back, I was terrified of him.
"Wool gathering?" Esme asked from behind me.
I turned to look at her. "Pardon?"
She shook her head and chuckled softly to herself. "It's a country saying that means you're lost in your own thoughts."
"Well, yeah, then I guess I'm wool gathering."
"Bad wool or good wool?"
"Honestly, I'm not really sure," I told her. "Rose's husband is coming home today. He should be there when I get home from work."
"That's a good thing, right? Rose told me about him over the phone a couple weeks ago." I raised my eyebrows in question. "She called to talk to Carlisle about something for Sam and we just started chatting. An hour passed before she actually got to speak to Carlisle and by that time, she'd forgotten what she called for." She giggled but then sobered quickly. "That girl is something, I tell you. I don't think I could do what she's done since her husband went to prison. She was so excited that Emmett was coming home and I can't blame her."
"I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit it but I'm scared, Esme."
"Scared of a man that you don't even know?"
I shelved a couple of books and said, "Rose said that he's a big guy and I can't help but think about how he's been in prison for ten years. What if he's violent? What if he screams at the kids?" I rubbed my face with my palms. "I'm such a horrible person."
Esme rolled her eyes. "You're not a horrible person. It's going to take time for everyone to adjust, including Emmett. He's going to be the one having to convince everyone around him that he's a decent guy. It's normal that you don't trust him, Bella, but you have to give him a chance."
I nodded. "I know and Edward keeps telling me that it's all going to be fine."
"You trust Edward, right?" I nodded again. "Well, then think about everything that he's taught you. You're stronger, mentally and physically." She groped my biceps with her fingers and I laughed. "Plus, Edward is going to be there. Rose is going to be there. Nothing about your relationship changes just because Emmett is there, right?"
"I hope not."
"Have faith, Bella."
Faith. Esme wanted me to have faith. It wasn't long ago that I'd lost my faith in all mankind but when I thought of Rose and Edward, the suggestion didn't seem so far fetched.
"Thanks Esme," I told her. "You're like my therapist, boss and friend all rolled into one. I feel like I should be paying you."
She quirked an eyebrow and playfully nudged me with her elbow. "That can be arranged."
The rest of the day flew by. Esme had recently started reselling music, mostly CD's. Customers would bring in their old CDs that they didn't listen to anymore and we'd offer them a price for them. Then we would clean them up and resell them, making a decent profit. It had become a huge hit. The music brought a different crowd of people in, and even those people ended up buying books. I'd even found a few CDs that Esme insisted that I took but I secretly rang myself up for them. By the time five o'clock rolled around, I was exhausted.
"I can't believe it's October fourteenth already. It'll be Halloween before we know it," Esme grumbled. "The years fly when you get old."
I snorted. "You're not old. You're probably around my dad's—"
Something invisible stabbed me hard in the chest. If today was October 14th, that made yesterday the 13th. October 13th was my dad's birthday. I'd missed it. How could I have missed it? I thought back to what I was doing yesterday and nothing stuck out in my mind that would have given me an excuse to forget. I'd even worked and had written the date countless times in our registry when taking in a new shipment of books.
"You okay?" Esme asked.
I swallowed and nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I just remembered something that I was supposed to do yesterday. Something important." I forced my smile to grow as I tapped my temple with my finger. "I guess I'm getting old too, huh."
Esme narrowed an eye at me. "Oh, bite me, Bella. What are you, twenty five?"
Edward met me out front after I'd climbed the steps up to the street. My chest felt hollow. I wanted to cry. I wanted someone to hit me and make me feel the pain that I'd caused my dad. Not only had I not thought about calling him but he hadn't even ventured into my mind. My vision blurred.
Much to my dad's embarrassment, I made a big deal out of his birthday every year. Most times, I'd take him out to eat in Port Angeles and there'd be cake and singing. One time, when I was in high school, I got brave enough to throw him a surprise party. Apparently, that's a big no-no for someone carrying a loaded pistol. The general rule is let them take the gun off first, then jump out and yell "surprise!" Luckily, my dad is quick on his feet and didn't get as far as pulling the trigger.
"I don't even get a kiss," Edward teased as I walked silently by him to his car.
I tried really hard to give him a smile and blink away my tears but Edward was perceptive.
"What happened?" He put his hands on my shoulders and bent to look into my eyes. I closed them. "Bella, tell me what the fuck happened."
"I forgot…I forgot…" I couldn't get the words out. Shame and guilt filled my chest like a balloon being filled with heavy air.
"What? You forgot what?" His tone was calmer, as if there was nothing in the world that I could have forgotten to be grounds for such panic.
"My dad's birthday was yesterday," I murmured.
Edward sighed. "You scared the life out of me."
My eyes popped open. "I forgot my dad's birthday," I repeated.
He nodded and wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. "I heard you. Do you think that's reason to go all pale and shaky? I thought that…"
"I can't imagine what he thinks," I mumbled. "How could I forget?"
Edward pulled me to his chest, his strong arms so tight around me that I could barely breathe. "Your dad would understand, Bella. If anyone has reason to forget, it's you."
I tried to shake my head but I was too constricted. "I have no excuse, Edward. Even if I couldn't have called him, I should have at least wished him a happy birthday in my mind."
"He probably doesn't even like birthdays," Edward said against the top of my head.
I choked out a laugh. "He detests them but every year since my mom left, I try to make it special for him."
His hand swept up my back in a comforting gesture. It worked a little.
"You mean, you try to embarrass him."
I pulled away and bit back a grin. "I do not." He raised his eyebrows suspiciously. "Okay, maybe I do a little."
"You remembered it now," he said, pulling me back to his chest. The feel of him wrapped around me was a calming salve to an open wound. "Why don't you just call him? You can block your number."
I shook my head. "I can't. James is there."
"I'll dial and ask for your dad. If that shithead answers the phone, it'll give me a chance to tell him to leave you the fuck alone."
On the ride home, I thought about what it would be like to talk to my dad. What would I tell him? If James wasn't there anymore, would I tell him where I was? No, because he could still be listening, tapped into the phone line somehow. It was risky but the thought of hearing his voice was enough to help me make up my mind.
After we'd gotten settled at the apartment, I told Edward that I was going to take him up on his offer.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded. "We need to hurry if we're going to do this. Rose is expecting us over there for dinner in ten minutes and you know how she gets."
I handed him my phone and told him my phone number, making sure that he pressed the code first for the block. As he held it to his ear, my breath caught in my chest and my hands shook.
"It's the machine," Edward said, handing it back to me.
I snatched it out of his hand and stared at it. "What do I do?"
Edward raised his eyebrows and gave me a "duh" look. "Leave a message."
"Oh, right, of course," I said dumbly and then put the phone to my ear just in time to hear a beep.
"Uh, Dad, it's me, Bella…uh, I just wanted to let you know that I'm safe. I'm okay. I hope you are too. Oh, and Happy Birthday." I giggled nervously. "Uh, I miss you and I will see you soon." I put my finger on the end button but quickly put it back up to my ear. "I love you, Dad."
"Nicely done," Edward said, squeezing my thigh with his hand. "You okay?"
"Yeah, actually, I'm good. Thank you. I just hope that he gets the message."
Using his fingers, he tilted my chin up and kissed me gently. "If he doesn't, I'm sure he knows that you're thinking of him."
On the walk to Rose's, I fisted my hand in the back of Edward's shirt. "I should have brought something; a casserole, maybe."
He contorted his face into puzzlement. "It's Rose, for fuck's sake. Why would you bring a casserole?" I shrugged helplessly. He turned and put his hands on my shoulders and gave them a comforting squeeze. "Emmett is the only person in that apartment that you don't know."
"From what I've heard, Emmett is a pretty big dude."
He narrowed an eye. "Even if he tried, do you think I'd let him touch you?"
I gnawed on my bottom lip and shook my head.
"Rose is still Rose and she loves you. Let's go in and celebrate with her."
"Okay," I sighed. "Let's do it."
After he knocked, the door swung open revealing a frantically happy Rose. Her hair was flattened into a high ponytail and she had a light layer of makeup on. She was beaming with excitement. That alone relaxed my nerves.
"Come on in, guys!"
Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door and into the living room. Sammy waddled toward us, his hands flapping with excitement and his toothy grin speaking volumes of his enthusiasm.
"Bebba!" he squealed.
I picked him up and hugged him.
"He used to run for me," Edward grumbled with a pout. "Now he runs for you. That's so not fair."
I laughed and gave Sam a peck on the cheek. He giggled and reached for Edward.
"That's my boy!"
"Hey! You must be Bella!" Emmett was exactly what he'd been described as: A really big dude. He walked toward me and I bit back the urge to cower. "I'm Emmett, in case you didn't already know."
His large hand stuck out toward me and I flinched back, enough for Edward to notice but Emmett seemed oblivious. I felt Edward's palm on the small of my back and it gave me courage to accept his handshake. He had colored tattoos snaking up and down both arms and a large scar across his right eyebrow. Dangerous, would be a way I'd describe him if I could choose any adjective. The only thing that kept my legs from knocking together was his grin; it matched Sammy's perfectly.
"Nice to finally meet you, Emmett," I offered in a shaky voice.
"I'm starving!" Emmett clapped his hands in a let's-get-this-show-on-the-road sort of way. I jumped and let out a quiet yelp. He didn't seem to notice. "Let's eat!"
We gathered around the table and I sat stiffly next to Edward who had dropped Sam into his newly acquired booster seat. Emmett sat between Sam and Emily who were watching him intently—Sam out of pure fascination of a newcomer and Emily out of a mixture of what looked like animosity and curiosity. Rose put dinner on the table and we all stared at it.
"Well, dig in!" she announced.
"You want chicken?" Emmett asked Emily.
She reached for the serving fork. "I can get it myself."
"Okay, cool," he said. "What about you Sammy? You like chicken?"
Sammy blinked at Emmett.
"He likes it; just make sure you cut it up for him," Rose told him.
Edward didn't waste time in the digging-in process. He had food on his plate and was shoveling it in his mouth before I could count to three. Emmett cut up some chicken and put it on the plate in front of his son. Sam proceeded to watch Emmett with distrustful eyes, especially when he put a couple spears of broccoli on his plate next to his mangled chicken.
Emmett was trying. I had to give him credit for that.
"You gotta eat your broccoli. It'll make you big and strong like daddy," he cooed to the toddler who was now frowning at his plate. "You know what sound a chicken makes, don't you Sammy?"
Sammy looked across the table at his mom and stuck his bottom lip out; a precursor to tears. Emmett proceeded to "Bak!" like a chicken which made Sam think twice about pouting. When his dad started flapping his arms and jerking his head back and forth, performing a fantastic impression of the bird, he'd won the little boy over. Sam giggled and giggled some more as Emmett made a fool out of himself in front of the entire table. Even Emily was fighting the urge to smile.
Out of sheer excitement, Sammy grabbed a hold of a broccoli spear and sent it flying. It hit Emmett right between the eyes and bounced into the mashed potatoes. For a moment, I held my breath. We were all used to Sam's daily food fights but Emmett wasn't. My bite of chicken sat in my mouth as I watched for his reaction. Rose covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes dancing with amusement. Edward finished off his potatoes.
Sam's eyes widened as Emmett turned his narrowed eyes in his direction. Then there was squealing and tickling and some grumbling coming from deep in Emmett's throat. Tension leaked from the room as Sam was tickled within an inch of his life. Even Emily's smile had broken through.
I let out a sigh of relief and started eating. Edward squeezed my thigh under the table in a told-you-so gesture. He was right; the rest of the night was spent with Emmett doing weird barn animal imitations. It wasn't what I expected of him but it pleased me, none-the-less. After the kids had gotten settled in bed and the men were in the living room watching TV, I had to time to talk to Rose in the kitchen as she packed Emily's lunch for the next day.
"So…" I made the word long and meaningful.
Rose's lips twitched as she lathered a piece of white bread with mustard. "So…what?" I quirked an eyebrow until she met my eyes. Then she had the audacity to look innocent. "It's been good."
"How good?"
She gasped. "Bella, a good girl doesn't talk about such things."
"Well, lucky for me that you're not a good girl, Rosalie. You had a whole night to yourselves after you picked him up. Are you still worried about…you know?"
Her tongue made a quick pass over her top teeth. "I'm happy to say that I had nothing to worry about in the first place." Her eyes widened. "The man is an animal."
"Is he...um, he doesn't hurt you, right?"
She made some sort of noise that I didn't know how to decipher. "Hurt me? Oh, Bella, he makes it hurt in all the right places."
This comment had me wishing that I'd kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to know details. Well, maybe I did but there was no way I would admit it. My history mixed in with the way I felt about Edward left me in quite a predicament. Nothing about sexual intimacy made my toes curl but the thought of Edward finding pleasure with my body was enticing.
I took a risk and asked, "What does that even mean?"
"It means that the man knew how to please me ten years ago and apparently, he has a wicked memory. There wasn't a place on my body that his tongue didn't feel the need to reacquaint itself with." She smiled and I blushed at the thought of Emmett's tongue on her neck, her breasts, her…ohmygod.
I cleared my throat and tried to act natural. "You feel better, then…about the whole Emmett-not-wanting-you thing."
She sighed. "I'm the happiest I've been in a really long time. In fact, I've never been happier, to be honest."
"How's Emily dealing with it?"
"She'll come around," she murmured as she stuffed her lunch box with a tiny bag of chips and a fudge round.
I took a fudge round for myself and took a huge bite.
"So, what about you?"
"What about me?" I said around the bite.
She grinned wickedly. "Is Edward's dick as big as he claims it is?"
My lungs got an invasion of half-chewed, gooey chocolate and I clutched onto my throat. I couldn't breathe. My eyes nearly bugged out of my skull and I tossed the half-eaten cookie at Rose because she wasn't looking at me.
"Bella? Bella!" She pounded me hard on the back as I tried desperately to suck in air.
It was a helpless feeling—not being able to breathe. Every time he'd screw me, I'd get the belt around the neck treatment. He'd tug as he spilled into me, groaning and growling with each rough invasion into my body. I'd never forget how he'd forget sometimes that I couldn't breathe as he basked in the aftershocks of his orgasm. I wasn't allowed to remove it myself, he'd made that rule clear. But sometimes, my will to live outweighed the risk factor and I'd claw it away from my throat so that I could inhale the sweet, sweet oxygen. Sometimes, he'd apologize for it and sometimes it would piss him off. Then afterwards, I'd feel his warm seed seeping from inside me, down my thighs and onto the mattress. It was a miracle that I'd never gotten pregnant. It was the only thing that had made me believe that God still had some control in my situation. It was enough to make me swear off sex for the rest of my life. How could something so disgusting make Rosalie grin like the cat that ate the canary?
Rose pounded me on the back again, hard enough to rattle my teeth.
"Holy fucking shit! Emmett!"
I clawed at my neck for the non-existent leather strap.
"What?" he yelled from the living room, obviously too comfortable to get out of his recliner.
"Get the fuck in here! Bella is choking!"
If I hadn't been fighting for breath, I probably would have found this situation really embarrassing. Who chokes on a fudge round? Three year olds and the elderly—that's who.
The men hustled in, both of them with looking concerned. Emmett got to me first, took my hand and raised it above my head. Then he proceeded to shake my entire arm. I patted my throat, emphasizing the fact that I was actually dying.
"Christ!" Edward growled as he pushed Emmett out of the way. He grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around, then Heimliched me until the chocolate goop was forced up my throat. It landed with a splat against the fridge and it slowly seeped down until it stopped, as if it had given up on its journey to the floor.
I coughed and gasped for air as Edward turned me around in his arms so that he was holding me up. My eyes watered and I thought that I was going to lose my dinner, chicken and all.
"Calm down, baby, calm down," he whispered in my ear. "Breathe slow and easy, Bella."
"What?" Rose asked defensively. I wondered which one of them was giving her the accusing glare. "That's the last time I ask her about Edward's girth."
"Dammit, Rose," Edward growled. "How the fuck is that your business?"
"Fuck you, Edward," she spat calmly. "She was asking about me and Emmett so I thought it was only polite to reciprocate."
I pulled away from Edward, trying to swallow the pain of my raw throat away. Rose handed me a glass of water and I thanked her.
"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Emmett said, holding up his hands in a let's-stop-this-bullshit manner. Then he turned to Edward with raised eyebrows and pointed to me. "You're hittin' that, my man?"
Rose gaped at Emmett. Edward ran a palm over his face and cursed under his breath for a good thirty seconds. I bit back a grin as tears fell down my cheeks. This entire family should be a reality show, I decided.
"I'm just sayin'…" An award winning grin spread over Emmett's face. "Niiice."
Emmett's wife didn't appreciate the "nice" comment as much as I did so she pinched him on his side.
"Ouch! Damn, girl!"
"You okay, Bella?" Edward asked in an annoyed tone. "I'm sorry we live next to a couple of shitheads."
I wiped choking-tears from my eyes. "I'm good. Thanks for saving my life."
Edward shot me a smug grin. "Just another day in life of Edward Masen."
For the next couple of weeks, we got to know Emmett. Rose seemed to be in heaven, having him home with her. She told me once that she was pretty sure she was dreaming and she made me pinch her. Emily was still having a difficult time with his presence and I meant to sit down and talk to her about it, see if I could make her feel better about him but the time never presented itself. We'd been spending less time at their apartment, trying to give the family some privacy to settle in.
Emmett had started working with his brother, Brad. I'd met the guy once in passing and he didn't seem like the friendly type. He barely glanced at me when Emmett introduced us, which was fine by me. While it was nice of him to give Emmett a job, I didn't trust his good intentions. There was something sinister about him that I didn't like.
"I promised Rose I'd come over tonight to try and talk to Emily," I told Edward after he'd picked me up from work. Esme had been gracious enough to change my schedule so that Edward would be able to drop me off and pick me up without it interfering with his job. In fact, the only time I wasn't with Edward was when I was at work or if I went over to Rosalie's to visit without him. And Sundays. He hadn't asked me to go with him again and I wasn't going to make the request. It was his thing and it didn't offend me when he didn't want my company. As he'd told me that day, it gave him time to himself, time to think. It worried me that when he came home, he was quiet and didn't talk about his day. I knew those damn meetings got to him. If those heart wrenching verbal autobiographies made me feel like shit, I can't imagine what it did to him. I wished that he'd talk to me but he never did; I wasn't going to push him.
"How long are you going to be over there?" Edward whined as he wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me against him. As usual—with his touch—my heart picked up its pace in my chest.
"Not long," I said grinning up at him. "Rose thought that Emily might tell me what is going through that smart little brain of hers. She's still having a hard time with Emmett being there."
Edward kissed me gently. "I'll make dinner tonight."
"Really?"
"Yep. Bet you didn't know that I could cook. I have many hidden talents that you aren't aware of. In fact, I make a mean…uh—"
"Pepperoni and mushroom," I told him then added, "thin crust, please."
His expression flattened. "You want breadsticks?"
As I raised my knuckle to knock on their door, I heard yelling coming from inside. Emmett's voice was like a rumble of angry thunder. My hands tightened into fists. The muscles surrounding my bones shook and tightened as my fight or flight response took over. I knew what I should do. I knew what I could do. I needed to go get Edward, tell him to make sure Rose was okay. Two things stopped me: One, Edward was adamant about staying out of our neighbor's business since Emmett came back home and two, the difference in time that it would take for me to convince him to come over could make the difference. In a second, a fist to the jaw could do serious damage.
I tried the door and it wasn't locked. Brad was sitting in the living room, biting into an apple. The sound of Emmett's voice was ten times more terrifying after the barrier of the door was gone. The small but defiant voice of Rosalie bounced off of his; a rich contrast of two voices.
"I'd leave them alone," Brad mumbled through a chunk of apple. "Emmett's pretty pissed."
"Why the fuck wouldn't you tell me, Rose?" Emmett screamed. "Do you know what it's like to find something like that out from strangers?"
"When was I supposed to tell you, Emmett? While you were in prison or the minute you got out? That would have been fantastic news for you, huh?" Rose's voice echoed off the linoleum of the kitchen.
"Rose dropped by the warehouse today. Some of the guys recognized her from the club." Brad shrugged then grinned at me. "I'm surprised considering they really didn't look at her from the tits up. I recognized her the first moment I laid eyes on her but I didn't want to be the one to rub it in his face. If that was my woman who was whoring around behind my back while I served time, I'd put a fist through the wall."
I didn't think before I spoke. If I had, I never would have said it. "Do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up. You don't know anything about Rosalie."
He snorted and tossed the apple into a tiny trash can. "I know that I've seen her naked before I even knew that she was my sister-in-law. Emmett needs to put her in her place."
"You're an asshole."
He shrugged in response which only pissed me off more.
The yelling was getting louder and now there was name calling. Where were the kids? I didn't see either of them in the living room. There's no way Rose would allow them to be in the kitchen. She must have handed Sam off to Emily and sent her to the bedroom.
"Why don't you go home?" I hissed at Brad. "This is none of your business."
He quirked an eyebrow at me. "And it's yours?"
I ignored him and moved slowly into the kitchen. My heart pounded in my chest as I caught sight of them. Emmett had Rose trapped in a corner. My knees wobbled and my breath shook as I concentrated on keeping myself upright. Emmett's shoulders were wider than the refrigerator and his arms were the size of my legs. He would kill her if he hit her, especially with how angry he was. His hands were already balled into fists at his sides, prepared to take action if his temper snapped one bit over the breaking point.
"I went to fucking prison for you, Rosalie!" Emmett growled. "If you needed money, I could have found a way to get it for you! Instead, you went behind my back and…and…shook your tits in men's faces for some easy cash. Son of a bitch!"
Rose narrowed her eyes at him. "Keep your fucking voice down, Emmett! Just because Sam and Emily are in the bedroom, it doesn't mean that they can't hear you!"
Emmett slammed his fist into a cupboard door and it bounced open. I jumped and looked around the room for potential weapons.
"I don't give a fuck what anyone hears," he growled.
Rosalie sneered. "They're your children, Emmett. You should give a fuck."
My eyes scanned the room, and they widened at the sight of a metal skillet that was sitting on the counter. It was empty. Rose must have been getting ready to make dinner.
"How did you think I was paying for our rent, Emmett? Do you think I could pay the bills and support two children on my own on a waitressing salary? Are you that freaking stupid? You never even asked me how I was paying the bills. Deep down, I think you knew…"
I couldn't see Emmett's face but I would bet money that he was sneering at his wife. Her words hit too close to home.
"You think that I knew and would allow this?" he seethed.
My fingers curled around the cold handle of the skillet and I held it firm against my palm. Neither of them knew I was there. I wasn't even sure what I intended to do until I saw Emmett raise his fist into the air. He may have been going for the cupboard door again but I couldn't risk that the blow would find Rosalie's face. I knew too much about how that felt to allow it to happen to someone else, someone I loved.
The clang of the metal hitting Emmett on the back of the head reverberated around the room. It was like the singular gong of a church bell. The skillet vibrated in my hand from the force of the blow and I forced air into and out of my lungs. I expected Emmett to crumple at Rose's feet. Maybe he'd wake up in an hour with a headache and a boot out the door. But no, he didn't fall. There was no falling. He simply ducked his head and slowly put his hand on the part of his scalp that had met the metal.
Rose clasped her hand over her mouth and looked from me to him then back to me. Her eyes crinkled. Was she grinning?
"What. The fuck?" Emmett ground out as he turned around.
My eyes nearly bugged out of my skull as I back pedaled slowly away from him.
He sneered when he saw me and then narrowed his eyes at the skillet that was still shaking in my hand. A tremor ran down my body and my breath caught in my lungs. Different scenarios ran through my head, none of them good and all of them ending in my blood being spilled on the floor. Rose couldn't stop him. Brad wouldn't stop him.
"Emmett…" Rose finally spoke. She grabbed his arm and he shrugged her off. "Emmett, she was afraid for me."
His thick dark brows twitched at her words but other than that, I had no idea if he heard her or not. Then he started stomping toward me and I whimpered, still back-stepping until I hit something hard. A wall. No, it wasn't a wall unless walls grew arms because that's exactly what snaked in front of me in a protective motion.
"Emmett," Edward warned.
Edward. He was always saving me; from myself, from fudge rounds and now from a huge and angry ex-con who could crush me with his pinky. How did I find myself in these situations? Maybe I did it on purpose to wake up the goldfish in my stomach because they'd started fluttering as soon as Edward moved me behind him tenderly.
Vaguely, I registered Brad's snicker in the doorway. More than anything, I wanted to shake the skillet at him in warning but I didn't want to push my luck. Brad wasn't as big as Emmett or Edward but he could still do some damage.
Emmett paused and frowned deeply at Edward. "She hit me." He sounded a little like he was tattle-tailing.
"She was scared, Em," Rose offered calmly. "She thought you were going to hit me."
Shock took over his face as he turned to Rose. "Hit you? Why would I…you didn't think I'd hit you, did you?"
Rose grabbed Emmett's hand and squeezed. "No, but I know you; Bella doesn't."
He cocked his head to look around Edward and I stepped out from behind him.
"I'm sorry, Emmett. I just…" I stuttered. "I hope I didn't hurt you."
He rubbed the back of his head with his palm. "For a tiny girl, you got a hell of a swing."
Brad interrupted. "Well, since this is turning into a Hallmark movie, I'm out of here."
Emmett shooed him away with a flick to his wrist. "I thought you fucking left twenty minutes ago."
Brad smiled. "Love you too, Bro."
I looked at Edward apologetically and he kissed me on the forehead.
"Bella," Emmett said, hunkering down to meet my eyes. "I'd never, ever hit Rose, okay? I promise you that. If I ever did—which I'd never do—I'd welcome a thousand whacks on the head like that because I'd deserve it."
"Thanks, though, girl," Rose said and then pumped her fist. "That was awesome!"
Emmett scowled at her and I let out a nervous laugh.
"What? It was. She did awesome."
"I really am sorry, Emmett." It was a lie because I really wasn't. I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I thought that there was a chance that I could prevent a friend from being hit by a man.
"Hey, you know, shit happens," he mumbled, continuing to rub his head.
"I have to go check on the kids." Rose took off down the hallway toward the bedrooms.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom," I told them. It was an easy enough excuse to get away from Emmett. The tension had faded from his body but there was still a glint in his eyes, watching me like he didn't trust me. When I got out of sight, I stopped for a moment to catch my breath.
What had I just done? I'd hit a two hundred and fifty pound man in the head with a frying pan. That's what I'd just done. I was either insane or really, really brave. Probably a little of both.
"What's your fucking problem, Emmett?" Edward asked in hushed whisper.
I peeked around the corner to spy on Edward and Emmett's conversation. It was wrong but too tempting to ignore.
Emmett narrowed his eyes at Edward. "You knew that she was working in that titty bar and you didn't tell me."
Edward put his hands on his hips. "What would you have done about it?"
"That's the thing," Emmett sighed. "There's nothing that I could have done. I'm going to have to look for a new job."
"What?"
"I can't go to that place every day, wondering which one of those motherfuckers has seen my wife naked. Fuck, even my own brother…shit!"
"You need this job, man," Edward said and shook his head. "You have to get past it."
"Would you be able to get past it?" Emmett paused for a moment to let the question sink it. "Could you get past it if it were Bella?"
My entire body stiffened at the mention of my name.
Edward's jaw ticked. "It's different with Bella."
"How is it different?"
"Rose is your wife and you have two kids to think about. Bella and I aren't—"
"Don't give me that shit. If you were standing in my boots, working with a bunch of dickheads who saw Bella naked more than you had in the past ten years, would you be able to get past it?" Edward opened his mouth to reply but Emmett cut him off. "What would you do if your boss, your brother, thought it was funny shit to describe Bella's body to you in detail?"
"Brad said that shit about Rosalie?"
Emmett nodded. "Oh, yeah, he thinks it's a riot."
Edward wiped his palms over his face.
"You're that pissed about this being about Rose. What would you do if it were Bella?"
The silence closed in around us and I was sure that they could sense me there, peering at them from around the corner of the wall. Edward's hands were clenched at his sides and he swallowed, the knot in his throat bobbing up and down.
"I'd fucking kill him."
Those four words bothered me. As reassuring it was to know that Edward felt that strongly about me, I hoped that he was over-exaggerating. To anyone else, it may be no big deal but to me—who had a lunatic trying to hunt me down—it meant so much more. If James found me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Edward was hurt or sent back to prison while trying to protect me. It didn't sit well with me.
After we'd said our goodbyes to our neighbors and went back to Edward's apartment, I chewed on my nails in an effort to keep my thoughts to myself. Not only did I not want him to know that I had been spying on his and Emmett's conversation, I didn't know if I wanted to know an answer to my question: Was he serious?
"What's up?" Edward asked as lay down next to me on the bed. The mattress dipped and I almost rolled toward him but I grasped the fitted sheet to hold myself steady.
"Nothing," I replied.
He narrowed an eye. "Okay. Let me rephrase. What's on your mind?"
"What makes you think there's something on my mind?"
With one swift move, he grabbed my hand and removed my thumb from my mouth. "You're gnawing on yourself. It's never good when you gnaw on yourself."
"Promise not to be mad?"
"I'll do my best."
"No, I want a promise."
"Okay," he sighed, "I promise."
I sat up on the bed and crossed my legs, Indian style. "I overheard your conversation with Emmett."
He furrowed his brows, thinking back to the conversation and probably wondering to himself which part of it worried me. His conclusion was incorrect.
"Rose and Emmett are going to be fine. He's going to look for another job, and I can't blame him but he's going to stick it out with his brother until he can find something."
"That's good."
He cocked his head. "And that wasn't it, was it."
"Just promise me that you wouldn't put yourself in danger if something were to happen."
"What do you mean by that?"
"If James finds me, don't do anything to get yourself hurt and don't do anything that you're going to regret."
His expression changed as he remembered the part of the conversation that I was referring to. "I'm not going to let him hurt you again, no matter what." He put his hand on my knee. "There's no way I'm going to promise not to kill him if he ever comes near you."
I trailed my fingers through the soft hair of his forearm. "I couldn't live with myself if something bad happened to you because of me, Edward."
"Don't worry about me," he said softly. "I'm not going to let him hurt you again."
Just like that, I knew I loved him. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. The feel of his hand moving over my hip made my muscles tense, then relax. I deepened the kiss, enjoying the power that I felt as I leaned over him. He moaned as my tongue slid over his lips and I pulled on his bottom lip with my teeth—something he'd taught me. My desire to make him feel good was overwhelming as I pulled my leg around his hips and straddled him without even breaking the contact between our lips. His hands caught my hips and he attempted to push me off but I wasn't going this time. I had him. My body quaked. In an instinctive motion, I moved over him and felt him between my legs, hard and hot. My mind raced and my stomach tightened with the sick memories of the last time I'd had a man between my legs. But now, I was with Edward and he deserved this. If I could give him this, then why shouldn't I?
It was amazing what the human brain could do. I'd blocked out plenty of pain, separated myself from what was happening to me at the hands of man who claimed that he loved me. The feeling I got when Edward relaxed beneath me and swept his hand up my side toward the sensitive skin of my breast was a mixture of anticipation and fear.
I could get through this, I repeated in my head with sheer determination. Edward had helped me through the most difficult time in my life and I loved him. I possessed the power to make him feel good, to give his body release and I would get through it.
The mechanics of it weren't a mystery to me, even though I'd never enjoyed it. James had at least taught me that much. A little friction on the sensitive hard muscle between their legs would get them going. I shifted my body against his and he moaned. My sensitive center panged and before I could stop myself, I moaned softly. His hand cupped my breast over my clothes. I pulled my shirt off and was met with blazing green eyes that made sweat bubble up on my forehead.
"You don't…you shouldn't…" His voice was a whisper as he took in my bare chest.
I swallowed and tried to relax my muscles even though I was on that fine line of panic attack and continuing my exploration of Edward's body. It shouldn't feel this way; the panic was exhausting. Edward's eyes took me in, roamed up my navel over my chest and then into my face. He was good at reading me. The fear had to be somewhere on my face, I was sure of it, so I didn't give him time to seek it out. I leaned over him, pressing my breasts into his warm torso and kissed him.
At first, his hands lingered on my hips but then hesitantly moved up my ribcage and then covered my nipples. I sucked in a breath when his thumbs moved gently across my hardened peaks. It felt good. I wanted it to feel good. I needed it to feel good. My hips moved into him again and he cursed softly against my mouth.
"Ah, fuck…" With a tender force, he pushed me away from him. "Bella, we have to stop."
I covered my chest with my arm. "I want to, Edward."
His palms made a sweep over his face. "Please don't…"
A regretful wave of relief flooded through me as I rolled off of him but my body had been ready. My breathing was irregular and my pulse raced. I couldn't help but feel a pang of rejection, like a sharp wound across my chest. With a sigh, I rolled on my side with my back to him. Tears burned in my eyes and I fought to control my breath. Edward panted behind me, trying to bring his self down from the obvious desire. Physically, he wanted me but emotionally…
"You okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah, I'm fine." My fucking voice broke and I felt him shift closer to me on the mattress.
"I know what you're thinking and you better kick that out of your head right now."
"I'm clean, Edward. I got tested at the clinic a couple months ago." He groaned and the sound of knuckle grazing over stubble reverberated around the room while I continued to spout out facts about the welfare of my privates. "They gave me birth control, too. I'm not even sure if I can have children since I never…I wasn't on anything in Oklahoma. Nothing happened then. It's possible that I'm infertile. I've never been checked or—"
"Bella," he interrupted. "That's not the reason that I stopped you."
There was only one other reason. "Are-are you disgusted?"
The pregnant pause that filled the room seemed to last hours.
"Am I disgusted?" he asked. A tear fell down my cheek and onto the pillow. My own arms tightened around my own body. The sheen of sweat on my skin had suddenly turned into a chilly blanket and I shivered.
I cleared my throat, willing it to sound strong and neutral. "Yeah, you know, I wouldn't blame you if the thought of…being with me like that is repulsive. I would probably be repulsed. He used my body for nine months and…well, I'm not exactly pure anymore."
My jaw clenched and I closed my eyes. The pain in my chest was nearly unbearable as I listened to the sound of his breathing. I had hit the nail on the head; spoken his thoughts out loud for him so that he wouldn't have to do it himself.
I jumped when the feel of his fingertip glided down my back, his skin barely making contact with mine. How had I forgotten the carvings on my back? It was in full view for him, like a twisted portrait of the past year of my life. It was something that I'd have forever, a torturous reminder that I'd never be the same girl: Charlie Swan's daughter whose favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry and doesn't need reassurance from anyone.
After he finished tracing the M, he finally spoke. "Do you know what I thought the first time I saw this on your back?" His fingertip moved down the long crooked body of the I as I shook my head. "Well, besides the initial reaction to find the fucker and introduce his skull to a hammer, I saw this and God, Bella, I wondered how on earth someone could go through what you did and still be the person you are." His touch was like fire on the scars and the memory of that day raged into my brain like a monster. A sob shook my body as he completed the N. "I don't know anyone who has the will to live and the strength to rebuild your life like you have. I sure as fuck don't." I let out a snort followed by a sniffle as his fingertip traced over the last crooked line of the E.
Using his hand on my shoulder he rolled me around to face him. I kept my arm tightly pressed to my breasts in an effort to save face. He yanked the comforter up over me, in place of the guard of my arm. The warmth of his breath flooded over me as he hovered above me, bracing his weight on an elbow. "I can't believe you have the nerve to ask me if I'm disgusted by you." He kissed my nose and my wet cheeks and my forehead. "You are far too good for me. If you knew how hard it was for me to keep my…self contained, you'd laugh at how much power you have over me. You're not ready for this yet, Bella."
I sniffed. "So, you don't want to have sex because you think I'm too good for you?"
"Are you listening to a word that I'm saying?" He leaned down and suckled my earlobe. I couldn't deny the chills that claimed my entire body nor could I help the way my eyes rolled into the back of my skull. "Fuck, you're so sweet. You have no idea how much I want to rip your clothes off and bury myself inside you. Stop saying that I don't want you because, oh Christ, I do." He nuzzled my hair with his chin and inhaled the scent. "I don't want you to be afraid of me, Bella and I can see it in your eyes. You're not ready and there's no fucking way that I'm pushing you, no matter how ready you say you are."
"You're always saving me, Edward," I whispered, "even from myself. You must really care about me or maybe you just like playing hero."
He snorted. "I'm nobody's hero."
I didn't argue, partially because dismissing the "hero" status was just an Edward thing to do. But it was true and there was nothing he could say or do to make me believe otherwise.
A/N: So, there was a little bit of everything in this one. Bella is trying so hard to focus on the present instead of the past. She'll get there, I promise. Thank you for the patience in the meantime! It means a lot to me that ya'll are trusting me by sticking it out through all the angst. :)
I'm not sure how I'm going to do with review replies this weekened. I'm doing some aggressive potty-training on my little munchkin'. Every thirty minutes to the potty. He's a challenge but I love him to pieces. So, I'm not sure how much time I'll have to be on the computer but I will try! I promise!
What did you think of Emmett? Everyone is anticipating James to show up but I'm not giving anything away. Mmwwuuaah *evil laugh*! I appreciate all the support and I value every single word of each review! Thank you guys for reading!