Class Mom
CJ/Danny; a little bit of Donna and Nancy; references to others
Rating Adult –
Spoilers through end of series
Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul
9:45 PM PDT; October 30, 2013; Santa Monica, CA
Danny Concannon fixed one final typo, saved his file, and sent it to the printer. His lecture for tomorrow was now complete.
Leaving the den, he went into the courtyard in search of his wife. He had been on the phone with one of his grad students an hour ago when he heard CJ say goodnight to Jesse (the two of them were on the finance committee at St. Monica's) and come through the front door. She stuck her head in the door and they blew air kisses to each other.
CJ wasn't in the courtyard and Danny could see that she wasn't in the family room either. He was about to walk toward the bedroom wing of the house when he heard the clang of metal hitting the kitchen floor.
"Damn it!"
Danny rushed into the kitchen to see CJ sucking on her thumb, staring at a pan of cupcakes on the floor. The mess on the kitchen counter included two cake mix packages, a container of chocolate frosting, a big pile of crushed up chocolate cookies, a package of graham crackers, something that looked like a large tube of toothpaste, some more little tubes that looked like toothpaste samples, and two more pans of little cakes.
"Babe? You okay?" He took in the sight of her. There was a white smear on her forehead where she must have reached for an itch while mixing the batter. There was a chocolate smudge on her left cheek. The hand that wasn't up by her mouth had two stained fingertips. Her blouse had a green spatter of icing between her breasts.
Danny thought she looked beautiful.
"Burned myself on the pan," CJ pointed to the floor, then grabbed the potholder she should have grabbed two minutes ago. Picking up the cupcakes, she eyed them critically.
"I hope I can repair them enough that they'll be okay."
Seeing Danny's confused look, CJ added, "for Paddy's pre-school Halloween party tomorrow. I don't have another package of cake mix here. I'd have to go out, ah, send you out," she quickly corrected seeing Danny's look, "for another box. I'd be up until midnight."
"CJ, love, they're just for a bunch of four year olds. They'll be fine."
"Oh, Danny, Danny, it's not just a bunch of kids, it's the other mothers. Mandy Drake will be there. For Columbus Day, she made not one but three cakes formed like ships, in complete detail, of course, exactly like the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria.
"See," she showed him the printout, "I found this idea for graveyard cakes. You frost them and dip them in the cookie crumbs to look like a pile of dirt. You put some of the green icing," she picked up the large tube, "around the edge. You use a graham cracker as the tombstone."
Danny looked at the pan of cakes CJ was holding. It looked like the crowns came off four of them. He saw the pieces on the floor and picked them up.
"Can we just stick these back on top?"
"Danny!"
"Well, Narcissia was here today, so the floor is about as clean as it will get."
"And after she left, you, Paddy and Destiny came tramping in after your walk. I only need twenty-eight; I'll still have four extra."
"What can I do to help? Start icing?"
"They have to cool some more. We can make the tombstones." She picked up one of the little tubes and, squeezing it, made a cross on a graham cracker rectangle. Then CJ put "RIP" on a second rectangle.
"Can I use dates?" Danny picked up one of the other little tubes.
"Sure, but practice first. These little tubes are tricky."
Danny was about to remind her that the recipients were four year-olds, but remembered about the Martha Stewart mother. After about three minutes, he got the hang of the little tube.
Forty-five minutes later, thirty-two little freshly dug gravesites rested in a box top covered with plastic wrap. CJ arms were loosely wrapped around Danny's neck. Her husband was kissing away the little messes on her face. Then his mouth moved to the frosting on her blouse.
"Too bad there isn't any left over frosting," CJ said, sighing in appreciation.
"But those tubes aren't empty," Danny replied with a smile. He turned her around and gave her a gentle push on her butt. "Go check on the kids; I'll lock up."
Twenty minutes later, Danny was lying on his back. CJ was circling Danny's nipples and his belly button with the green frosting tube. There were still some traces of the big heart Danny had drawn with the little red gel tube and then licked away on her stomach.
3:45 PM, Thursday, October 31
Danny opened the door between the garage and the courtyard. He heard CJ's voice before stepping into the central area.
"So, there I am, setting up my little graveyard, when Mandy walks in with this huge three-D pumpkin cake. Apparently, she made two Bundt cakes and put them together, bottom to bottom, did orange frosting, used yellow for the eyes, nose, mouth, filled the center with Hershey's ® kisses, and even made a top with a stem! When I mentioned something, wondering if she got the assignment schedule mixed up, she actually told me that she didn't think I'd come up with something 'special enough for the kids'! I swear, Donna, the look she gave me was deadlier than anything I ever got in the White House."
"Thank God we don't have to deal with anything like that! The White House kitchen usually does all the party stuff. We pay for the supplies and their time. Sometimes, Carol or Rina will run over to the kitchen and make something for the kids, but that's the exception."
Apparently, CJ had Donna on speaker.
Danny stepped through the door. CJ was sitting on a cushion leading Caitlin's hands in a patty-cake motion.
"Daddy's home!" Paddy jumped up, narrowly avoiding stepping on his Lego ® fort.
"Hey, Danny," came the slightly broken voice over the speakerphone.
Danny hugged his son, kissed his daughter, and put an arm around CJ before replying.
"Hey, Donna. You're home early."
"Leo got sick and really wanted his mommy, so I brought him home at noon. There wasn't anything crucial on my State Department plate just now. Josh is upstairs with the other kids right now, giving them baths."
"Wow, both of you home before 7:00. Are you sure you still work for the executive branch?" CJ joked.
"Josh is home early all this week. He and Margaret alternate weeks on the late shift, barring any emergencies. Now, next week, he'll be traveling to Tokyo with the President. My folks are coming in to help."
"Speaking of Margaret, any news on Kiley?"
Margaret and John were petitioning to adopt the eighteen month old daughter of John's second cousin. The little girl's parents had died in an automobile accident. John's cousin (Kiley's grandmother) had been in and out of mental hospitals for the past ten years. Kiley's father's family was concerned, of course, but the grandfather had Alzheimer's and everyone felt that John and Margaret were the best choice to raise Kiley.
"They were granted provisional custody last week. Of course, everyone's giving John a hard time about payback in fifteen or twenty years. He just laughs it off, but you can tell that he's totally over the moon about having a little girl."
"Well, of course he is!" Danny exclaimed. "I'm sure Josh agrees with me."
"Yeah, he does. Listen, CJ, Danny, I'd better get off now, but I wanted to reiterate that we'd love to have the four of you at the beach for Thanksgiving."
"And thanks again, Donna," Danny answered. "Paddy, stop fussing, I'm speaking with Aunt Donna! But one holiday away from home is enough. Paddy, go sit in the den! I'm looking forward to Christmas with Siobhan and Liam on Mackinac. Paddy's never been in real snow. That stuff you guys had when we were there after Fee's wedding was a pitiful excuse for real Michigan snow."
"I know, I'm the Wisconsin girl, remember? But pitiful or not, it's enough to drive this city crazy, as I'm sure you remember."
"Also, I'm in charge of the Giving Tree this year," CJ added, "so I have to be at church for all the Masses that weekend to kick off the whole thing."
"Well, you guys are always welcome, especially after January 20, 2015. G'night."
"Bye, Donna. Say hey to Josh and kiss the kids for us."
Danny tightened his arm around CJ.
"I'm sorry that your cupcakes were upstaged, darling."
"Well, actually, they were a big hit. Mrs. Perfect forgot to bring a knife!" CJ laughed. "By the time she found one, the kids had eaten their cupcakes and the teachers said that the kids didn't need any more sugar right then. We sent the kids home with wrapped slices of cake."
"Speaking of kids, I'd better go deal with our son."
"Danny, he was just so happy to see you. He always is, at the end of the day."
"I know; I'm just going to remind him that when we're on the phone, he shouldn't interrupt us. Nothing heavy. Let me go get his juice and we'll have our regular talk. Unless you need me to do something for you, or Caitlin?"
"Not until you take the kids out trick or treating." Danny, Joel, Billy, and Hank were supposed to take the block's kids around the neighborhood. After the official trick or treating hours, the kids would be left with babysitters at the Hammash house while the adults celebrated Halloween at Nancy and Jesse's; it would be the newlyweds' first party.
Danny hit his head. "I forgot."
"Danny!"
"CJ, it just slipped my mind. And I better make that two glasses of apple juice for now. Save the drinking for Nancy and Jesse's. What will our son be this year?"
"He wanted to be a cowboy; he wanted to put a saddle on Destiny and ride her. I told him that Destiny might not enjoy being around a lot of strange-looking children and that she would stay in the house where it was safe. So he decided to be a pirate."
9:30 PM; home of Nancy and Jesse Muñoz
"I thought the Jenkins boys weren't going to be here," Danny said, "but I saw Dick's herbal cheesecake, God be good to him, on the table."
"Timmy made one for the party," Ken answered, "and we have to stop referring to them as 'boys'. They're closer to thirty than twenty. Where's CJ?"
"In the kitchen with Nancy and Diana. Some crisis about the oven."
In the kitchen, Nancy Estevez Muñoz wiped the tears from her eyes.
"God, this is awful! I'm such an idiot!"
"Honey, it's not really a problem," Diana tried to console her newlywed niece. "It's not like there isn't any other food out there."
"And even if there weren't more than enough to eat, it's not as if we're starving to death," CJ added.
The three women stared at the raw boneless rib eye roast sitting on the top rack of the oven. Nancy had forgotten to turn on the oven when she put the meat in two hours ago.
"But I really wanted to make a good impression. It's our first party." Nancy's tears were now freely flowing.
"Look, why don't we cut the roast into strips, string them on skewers, I've got some bamboo ones at home, and broil them? They'll cook in no time."
"That's a great idea, CJ!" Diana exclaimed. "And we can still serve them with the horseradish cream and the mini half pita pockets."
Thirty-five minutes later, Nancy accepted the compliments of all the men ("Wow! Real red meat!") as they inhaled the first platter of grilled beef pockets with lettuce, tomato, and horseradish.
"Well, the real thanks needs to go to - "
"The cow who gave her life for our enjoyment!" Diana said as she and CJ exchanged glances.
Nancy flashed a smile at the two women.
"Too bad Uncle Frank is still in DC," Jesse said (as he took a second sandwich for himself). "He'd love this."
"Oh, I'm sure he had a perfectly wonderful time with Clara and Paul. When he called earlier, he said they were going out for crab cakes."
Frank had been called to the Pentagon for several days of intensive consultation. He would be back at the beginning of the week.
Wednesday, November 27
Danny walked into the courtyard, breathing a sigh of relief. The Thanksgiving break was now official. Dinner tomorrow at the Feldman's, and then nothing but family and football for the rest of the weekend.
"Hi, Daddy."
He looked down into his son's face. The eager, welcoming smile was missing.
Danny played with the hair that reminded him so much of his son's mother's locks.
"What's the matter, Paddy?"
"I think Mama's mad at me."
"What makes you think that?"
"Well, she used all three of my names and she yelled."
"I see. She does that to me sometimes, only I have four names." Seeing his son's look of confusion, Danny added, "in about ten years, you'll get to pick another name for yourself. It's called Confirmation.
"Anyway, Mama does that when I do or say something she doesn't like. So what did you do or say?"
"We went to the firehouse today."
"I know. I was here when you and Mama left. Did you have a good time?"
"It was lots of fun! I got to play the siren and jump into the net!"
"Did you misbehave? Did you do something that Mama or someone else didn't want you to do?"
"Well, Adam's mama didn't want us to jump into the net but Miss Susan and Mama and Aunt Diana said it was okay."
"So why is Mama upset?"
"We-el-ll -".
"Destiny!"
A soapy, wet dog came tearing into the courtyard, followed by a half-soaked CJ. Danny grabbed at the dog, getting soap on his khakis. Destiny shook her coat, which got water and more soap all over Danny.
Then Danny took a closer look at the yellow lab.
"What happened to you?" Destiny's coat was covered with black spots, some of which were running in the soapy mess. A closer inspection of his wife revealed some black smears on her clothing and her arms. There was even a slight smudge on her right cheek. "CJ?"
"Paddy really liked the Dalmatian at the fire station, so he decided that Destiny should be one," CJ explained.
It was important to present a united front when dealing with their son, so Danny tried very hard not to laugh. However, he didn't think it was all that serious.
"Paddy, you shouldn't draw on Destiny," Danny told his son.
"But she didn't mind."
"I think she did, but she let you do it because she loves you very much. And now Mama has to try to get the black off Destiny. You made extra work, so I can understand why she's a little upset with you."
"It's not just Destiny," CJ said with an exasperated sigh. "Paddy, tell Daddy what you used to draw the spots on Destiny."
The little boy hung his head. "Well, first I tried my crayon, but that didn't work, so I got Mama's marker. But that ran out, so I went to see if you had a marker in your desk."
"My markers are red, the only thing I have in black is my grandfather's fountain – tell me he didn't," Danny looked at CJ with pleading eyes.
"He did. And he spilled the ink all over your desk trying to get more of it into the pen. That's why he was supposed to be sitting in his room, weren't you, Padraic Talmadge Concannon?" CJ turned to her son and fixed him with a death stare.
"I wanted to see Daddy. I love you, Daddy." Paddy hugged his father's leg tighter and looked up at him.
"And I love you. But I expect you to listen to Mama. Go. For not obeying her, stay there until time for supper." Danny pulled his son's arms from his leg and gave him a little push on his butt toward the bedroom wing.
After Paddy left the courtyard, Danny pulled CJ into his arms. "I take it your day was a bit rough."
"Only the last few hours. The fire station was fun. Charlsie Ramirez, Adam's mother, was a bit of a stick in the mud. The firefighters had a little platform where the kids could sit and jump into the safety net. They said that our kids were old enough for it, but Charlsie started to pitch a fit. Susan and the rest of us overruled her. I mean, the firefighters should know, right? They do these tours all the time. Of course, when the kids asked to slide down the pole, the captain said to come back when they were thirteen.
"Caitlin was fine this afternoon; Maristella always has a calming effect on her. She's in her playpen right now, with that caveman doll that Aisling sent over for her birthday. Please God, she'll sleep through the night."
(Last night, and into the wee hours this morning, Caitlin had one of her bad nights, wailing as if the worst tortures were happening in her little body. First CJ and then Danny spent hours rocking her, talking to her, holding her in the bubbling hot tub. Finally, about 3:30, she fell into an exhausted sleep.)
"Poor baby. You, I mean." Danny planted a few light kisses on his wife's eyes. "What can I do?"
"Well, I called Barb Willbond's office and Don, the vet tech, said that I should try to get as much of the ink off Destiny as possible, in case she starts licking at it. It won't kill her, but it might upset her stomach. That's why I was giving her a bath. So, you have a choice, finish giving her a bath, or cooking supper."
"Let me take over bathhouse duties. And I'll do supper. Why don't you grab a glass of wine and take a bath?"
"Bless you," CJ kissed her husband. "I think the fountain pen is still functional. There are a couple of ink stains on the desk, where the spills went over the edge of the blotter. Maybe on Friday, we can call Maristella's husband. Joe might know some tricks about restoring the wood.
Later that evening.
"Da – da."
Danny was lying on the floor. Caitlin was climbing over his legs, then crawled up to his face. She grabbed hold of his beard as she pushed herself to her feet. (Caitlin apparently learned about timing from her mother. The little girl waited until her first birthday to take her first steps in front of everyone who had gathered to see her smash her hands in the little cake with her name on it.) Caitlin stumbled her way around Danny's body and then collapsed on his chest, planting a very loud and very wet kiss on his cheek.
CJ looked up from her magazine and smiled. She loved seeing her husband and the daughter who had his hair, his eyes, and his features with each other. Caitlin was well on her way to learning how to make her father her slave. Danny was well aware of it, and was succumbing willingly.
"Urf!"
CJ looked over to Destiny, who was acting as a pillow for Paddy. Her black spots were mostly gone, but there were some grey smudges left on her coat. Paddy was softly snoring. He had come to the end of a very exciting day.
After supper, Danny had taken Paddy into the den and had a talk with him about respecting Mama and Daddy's things, especially something as special as great-grandpa Daniel's pen. ("He used it to write speeches about freedom for the Irish people. And his Daddy used it for the same thing.No, we can't take Destiny for a walk and stop at the ice cream stand. She's still damp from her bath and we don't want her to catch a chill.") Paddy apologized and said he would try to remember.
"Bedtime."
CJ picked up her son and carried him to his room. Destiny followed them.
Fifteen minutes later, she had removed Paddy's clothes, wrestled him into a pair of pajamas, wiped a warm damp cloth over his face and hands, and tucked him into bed. CJ checked the baby monitor (CJ knew that she should stop using it, but he was her first baby and it was a comfort to know that if Paddy needed them in the middle of the night, they could hear him.), turned off the lamp, stepped over the dog sprawled on the floor, turned on the night light, and left the room.
She heard the sound of rocking coming across the hall, and stepped into the nursery. Danny was giving Caitlin a bottle. He was reciting grammatical facts in a soft voice, using intonations more suited for reading a fairy tale.
"I before e except after c. Never end a sentence with a preposition. The plural of mouse is mice."
CJ laughed, kissed Danny's forehead, and ran a hand over Caitlin's head.
"I'll make some Earl Grey."
Later, they were on the family room couch. Danny had just come back from checking all the doors and his left arm was around CJ's shoulders. She was curled into his armpit. The two of them were sipping their tea.
"What are we contributing to dinner tomorrow at Hannah and Joel's? Do I need to do anything?"
"Just carry over that case of Blanc de Noirs tomorrow." CJ pointed to the champagne from Gina's family's vineyard that was sitting on the credenza. Then she yawned.
"I guess Paddy's not the only one who had a busy day," Danny said as he set down his mug and smoothed the hair back from her brow.
"Well, it wasn't exactly filled with bodice rippers and bonbons."
"Honey," Danny turned to face her and took her mug. "Are you okay with everything? Do you miss the job, the travel?"
"I miss the people, interacting with Nancy, Bonnie, Frank and the others, do I miss the work? Yes. But do I regret leaving? No. I'm enjoying all this as much as I enjoyed the Hollis stuff, as much as I enjoyed the White House. Next month, I get to help with the Christmas pageant. From what Diana tells me, working with the press will have been good practice for dealing with the kids and that working with squabbling heads of state will have been good training for dealing with some of the other parents. And she says that the fathers will be as bad as the mothers."
"Well, for now, why don't you deal with just this one parent?" Danny's hands wandered under her blouse.
"Right now, this one parent is all I want to deal with, 'scuse me," she smiled, swallowing a yawn.
"Then let's go deal."
They walked arm in arm to their bedroom.
When Danny walked out of the master bath, he sighed. CJ had fallen onto her side, right where she had sat down on the edge of the bed three minutes earlier. So much for being dealt with, he said to himself.
Danny undressed his wife down to her panties, then managed to maneuver her under the covers. He stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed behind her. He pulled her butt back against his arousal. Danny decided to revel in the feel of her against his desire before willing himself in detumescence. He was a patient man; he could wait until morning (or maybe the middle of the night).
"You're one hell of a class mom," he whispered in her ear, "but then, as far as wives and moms go, you're in a class by yourself."