AN: Thanks to Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllThatYouSee for reminding me I left one string untied at the end of Hidden Past. So this takes place directly following Knock Out's death, but it actually begins in the middle of the scene. Also, sorry for not including this the first time – big mistake on my part.
Knock Out heard himself challenging the two seekers to do their worst, but to him, his voice sounded completely foreign – almost as if it wasn't his at all.
His vision blurred so severely so all he could see was the red glow as Starscream shifted his hand into weapon mode. As the humans said, he was staring down the barrel – in this case, literally.
Then there was a bang as the blaster fired, and a searing pain that reminded Knock Out of the time he went a little too far in disagreeing with Megatron.
He gasped and shuddered, his processor going blank with agony.
An arm drew tightly around his shoulders, hauling the red medic to his feet. Knock Out shuddered again and almost fell to the ground, but the hidden mech caught him just in time.
"Easy, KO, I got ya."
The voice was eerily familiar – almost like hearing a ghost.
"B-Breakdown…?"
"Yeah, you're not alone this time around."
Knock Out was about to reply when he felt part of himself dissolve and fade away. It continued until he felt as though there was nothing left of him.
"Breakdown?" he asked after the feeling had gone, his voice quivering.
"Yes, Knock Out?"
"Did… did it hurt this much when… when you…" Knock Out couldn't bring himself to ask, but pulled away from his friend and looked at him.
"Died?" the huge mech asked, a rumble of laughter buried deep in his serious tone. "Hurt like the Pit. 'Bout as bad as you would've had it if you'd really died the first time."
"How did you…?" Knock Out shook himself and backed away, muttering crossly under his breath. He had died – once for real and the first time he almost did. He still had no idea how it happened. But as he looked at his friend, something came to him. "What on Cybertron… It was you. It was you. I remember now. You traded your life for mine? But why?"
The blue mech's faceplate twisted into what could've been called a smile. "Because you're my friend, Knock Out – since before the war and all the betrayal – that's why I did it."
"It wasn't worth it," Knock Out snarled bitterly. "You should have let me die, not saved me. Living wasn't worth being betrayed by everyone I knew – Ratchet, the Autobots and Decepticons – even when I tried so hard to prove myself." He backed away even more, wishing for a weapon. He forced himself to look away from Breakdown. He spoke through gritted dentals as the next words forced themselves out. "Not worth being betrayed by everyone I thought I could trust."
Breakdown sighed in exasperation. "Your fault, what with you being an Autobot spy and all. You should have prepared for it."
"I did prepare for it!" The smaller mech practically howled. "And still I wasn't expecting for things to go so wrong!"
"So everyone betrayed you?" The question was so innocent, so childlike that Knock Out could imagine Raf or Miko asking it of him.
"Y-yes, everyone did," Knock Out whispered, not meeting Breakdown's gaze. His optics were trained downward, fixed on something no one else could see but him.
"Look at me, Knock Out!" The former Wrecker ordered, stepping forward to grab the medic by the shoulders. "Look at me and answer – truthfully, this time." No response. "Don't forget I'm stronger and fight better that you, so I can whip your aft if I have to. Look at me and answer truthfully – did everyone betray you?"
Knock Out clenched his hands into tight fists, shaking as he lifted his head and stared into Breakdown's optics. He had begun to reply when memories he had pushed down into almost nonexistence flooded his processor.
"Tell me – what possessed you to do that?" Knock Out was extremely annoyed at Breakdown for almost causing the termination of a seeker drone earlier.
"Alright, I'm a scrap-brained idiot. So what? I can still kick your aft in combat training." His assistant dismissed any err on his part immediately. "I'll get it right next time."
Knock Out irritably drew his prod and activated it.
Breakdown grabbed him by the wrist, squeezing hard to make him drop the weapon. "Don't make me hurt you, KO. I might just ruin your finish in the process."
The medic deftly twisted from his assistant's grasp, delivering a sharp punch from one curled hand. "You couldn't hurt me if you tried." But he knew the opposite was true; Breakdown had hurt him, often completely without meaning to.
Breakdown merely laughed. "Liar."
"Idiot."
"Narcissist."
"Bolt-for-brains."
The blue warrior smirked. He kept silent, waiting for the long string of insults he knew was coming.
And it did come. Knock Out insulted him using as many terms for stupid as he knew – it took about five minutes for him to run out of words – and added in a few nasty insults for good measure. After he had finished, he picked up his prod and stalked off to his quarters.
Breakdown followed him. "Better?" he asked.
"Much," his friend replied curtly. "The drones are getting a bit out of hand; would you mind… well, putting them back in line… forcefully?" He said the last word hopefully, almost as if he were afraid Breakdown would say no.
The huge mech laughed, a sound not unlike an engine failure. "Sure, KO. Ya mind if I knock 'em around a bit?"
"If it pleases you."
Then the door slid shut between them.
Knock Out made himself stop shaking. He lowered his gaze in shame, and his shoulder guards drooped guiltily. "No," he said, just loud enough for Breakdown to hear, "you never did."