Disclaimer: I own everything but their names.

April 14, 2011 – Honolulu, Hawaii

Edward spits water from his mouth and pushes an errant piece of hair off of his forehead, and I can't help watching. We hadn't made plans to meet here again, yet – even after the awkwardness we'd put each other through last night – here we both are, back on our boards in the moonlight….

"Looks like you got some sun today," Edward comments, motioning with his hand toward my face.

I reach up and touch my cheeks, warm from the sunburn I'd gotten this afternoon. "Yeah… I spent the day with Kai traipsing through the mountains on the other side of the island."

Something I've always found charming about my Hawaiian friend was that, even though he was a native islander, he still loves doing all of the touristy crap that I'd never had the time to do.

Earlier, when Ahe told me she's been feeling the pregnancy pretty hard, and she wanted some time to rest without him in her hair every five seconds, I was happy to give her a bit of a break. Kai and I had spent most of the afternoon on the other side of the island, and I have to admit we had fun. Even if he made me walk like, five thousand miles.

Of course I was having second thoughts when he started grilling me on Edward, telling me that my 'we used to know each other' description was complete bullshit. He was sly about it, though, waiting until we were climbing through the jungle to ask so I'd have nowhere to run.

For the first time ever, I finally let myself tell the story about what happened the summer when I met Edward, including the way it all ended.

"You were both foolish, Izzy, but the past is the past, girl. There's a reason you two have been brought back together. Don't let a chance you've always hoped for pass you by." He looked at me, making sure I got his point.

"How do you know I've hoped for it?" I asked, afraid that if Kai saw it… maybe Edward had as well.

"I have known you a lot of years, Iz. I've never seen you look at someone like you looked at him yesterday."

I stopped walking then, mouth open and fists clenched. "I didn't look at him—"

Kai held up his hand. "Have you ever stopped to think maybe he's your hopena, tita?" he asked, and even without translation, I got the message loud and clear.

Maybe Edward was my destiny. And if he was… then Kai was right. I couldn't let a chance like this one pass me by.

Last night, after our talk about my articles, I think Edward sensed I needed a break. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd needed one, too. So we did what we'd gone there to do in the first place: we surfed.

It wasn't until that moment that I realized how much I'd missed being in the water with him.

When we had finished, Edward pulled his shirt on while I wrapped myself in my towel, and we walked back to our hotel quietly. When the elevator reached his floor, it seemed like he didn't want to leave. He lingered at the elevator door for a moment, and just when he looked like he was going to talk, it started to close on him. His hand shot out and he laughed at himself before shaking his head. He stepped back and smiled softly, and with a soft 'goodnight,' he disappeared behind the closing doors.

Sleep didn't come easily after that, and, after traipsing all over with Kai earlier, today has been a long one. But something pushed me to come back here tonight.

Now, I just wanted to see if the same thing was pushing him. It was a full deck, and I was sitting on a couple of Kings; I only hoped he wasn't hiding a Royal Flush.
He hums, and I look up from the water I've been drawing lazy patterns through.

"He seems like a good guy."

I smile; he doesn't know the half of it. "He's great."

"How long have you been friends?"

I close my eyes and think back to my first Pipe Masters, and the moment I came face-to-face with Kai for the first time.

"Almost five years, I think. Kai kind of…" I lift my leg out of the water and trace the scar on my thigh. "He helped me out in a pinch." I snicker and look over at Edward.

He's not looking at me, though. His eyes are on the scarred part of my thigh, all intense and angry-like. "Don't tell me you…"

I snicker again. I'm fully aware of how stupid it was to try and surf those waves. "Yes. I did."

Edward shakes his head, and I watch his hand reach toward me almost if it's moving in slow motion. The urge to pull away is strong, but the urge to stay exactly where I'm at is even greater. I hold my breath and try to stay still, but a shiver still works its way up my spine when he touches me.

It's been so long…

My eyes close as he slides his fingers, strong and warm as ever, across the raised, bumpy part of my thigh. God, I've missed those fingers. I've always known that no man has ever been able to touch me the way Edward used to.

The irrational part of my brain wants me to beg him not to stop; to touch me everywhere. The rational side knows that's just not smart.

My breath seems too loud in comparison to the gentle swoosh of the ocean around us as he pulls his hand away. He looks away and then reaches up to run his fingers through his hair, and I think I should say something…but I have no idea what. He clears his throat and then I clear mine, too. Like it's going to help or something.

"Uh, Jasper says hi," Edward says, completely changing the subject.

"You told him you saw me?" I ask as my gaze snaps to his face. For some reason I find it hard to believe Edward would have called Jasper to tell him we ran into each other.

He holds up his hands in innocence, eyebrows shooting up at my incredulous tone. "Hey, it wasn't me. Lisle was really excited to see you again… I swear the first thing he did was call home and brag."

Even though I'm a little uncomfortable, I can't help smiling as my heart gets all warm and fuzzy. I still love that kid.

"Way to throw your kid under the bus," I joke. It's easier than jumping into the topic of Jasper. I'm avoiding.

"As his father, it's my right to throw him under the bus if the occasion calls for it."

Maybe he's avoiding a little, too.

I snort and shake my head. "I was really happy to see him, too, you know. I can't believe how much he's grown. He's not the little dude I remember anymore."

"You have no idea. I swear that kid eats more than could ever be normal. I don't know where he puts it."

I laugh softly and look away while my fingers trace a pattern on the surface of my board. I swallow and take a deep breath, and then I just go for it. "I was also happy to hear that he's back. Jasper, I mean. That you two are okay."

From the corner of my eye I can see that Edward looks slightly uncomfortable, and I do feel bad for bringing us back here… but we have to talk about it sometime, right? I mean, wasn't not talking about things what cracked the foundation of our relationship in the past?

"Yeah," Edward draws out. "We're okay now."

"Now?"

"Jasper's my brother. He was pissed before you left, but even more so after you were gone. He said it was all my fault and that I should have kept it in my—" he stops talking and looks over at me before shaking his head. "Uh, nevermind."

And that shit still bugs me!

"You can't do that!" I insist, kicking water in his direction.

When I give him an expectant look, he leans forward on his board. "Oh look, a wave."

I open my mouth to stop him, but before I can get another word out, he's paddling and standing up on his board to surf away from me. I want to be frustrated with him, but I can't. I didn't just realize how much I missed being in the water with him last night-—I also discovered how much I still love watching the way he moves. The way he owns the water so wholly and completely.

My eyes are drawn to his body, his hands, and his legs as he moves lithely over and around and through the water. It's like he's controlling the wave and not the other way around.

When he paddles back to me, I give him the best angry face I can manage. He has the nerve to laugh at me.

"What?" He tries to look innocent and fails epically.

I shake my head and stare up at the sky. The sun has gone down completely and the night air is cool against my skin. A shiver works its way through me and I dip my palm into the water, sprinkling it over my bare legs.

"He came back right after you left," Edward explains, picking right up on our conversation from before. "Esme told him about the lawsuit…"

I give him a nod in understanding. His face gets a faraway look, like he's remembering how it all went down back then. The fact that he's mentioned the custody suit makes my chest tight and I know that this… this subject is the one that will be most difficult for us.

There are questions I want to ask, but I'm not ready to go there yet. It's obvious Makenna didn't win in the end, because if she had, Edward probably wouldn't be in Hawaii with Lisle right now. I can't help wondering if she forced Edward to go through the entire suit just to prove he wasn't a bad father, or if my disappearing satisfied her enough to drop the whole thing.

"Oh," I say, not sure what else I can offer.

"He still thinks it was my fault, though."

I scoff at that. "It wasn't your fault, Edward. You didn't force me into anything."

"Yeah, well, Jasper saw it differently. I think he was mostly just upset that you left without saying goodbye."

"What was I supposed to do? He wasn't talking to either of us at the time." My voice is defensive, and I feel like maybe he might not just be talking about Jasper. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself down.

Edward shrugs like he doesn't know how to explain it. "You know him, he's as bad as a chick sometimes. No offense."

I snort. "None taken. If he's anything like I remember, you're completely right on that front."

"Oh, he's exactly the same. Well, almost. But honestly, he hasn't really changed a bit. Except that he's married now; has two little girls – twins – who are the spitting image of their mother, and who're going to make his life a living hell when they become teenagers." Edward snickers at this. "He only comes to the shop when I have nobody else to call. He's actually been working in advertising with the same firm for quite a while now. He's got a pretty sweet deal, too, gets to stay home with the girls. He doesn't like it when I call him Mister Mom, though."

"What about you?" I ask suddenly, not sure where the boldness is coming from. Things just seem to be falling out of my mouth before I can stop them tonight.

While I'd really like to know how he is… how he's been, whether I can handle it or not is a different story.

"I don't like being called Mister Mom either, but—" I narrow my eyes at him and he stops talking. He looks away for a second. "What about me?"

His eyes come back to mine and his eyebrows are high on his head. My eyes are still narrow and I add in a hand on my hip just for good measure. "Don't be difficult."

One side of his mouth twitches. "What's the matter?" he asks, voice playful. "Don't like having competition in the difficulty department?"

"I am not difficult." He gives me a look that says 'whatever' and I'm forced to concede. Half-way. "Okay, I'm still a tiny bit difficult."

He mutters something about 'a tiny bit difficult' under his breath and then smiles at me. He takes a deep breath. "I've been… okay."

"Just 'okay?'"

Really, that's all he's got? There's so much unsaid in that statement. Just as I open my mouth to prod him again, Edward asks a question of his own.

"Are you happy, Bella?"

I have no idea how to answer him, so I deflect instead. "We're not talking about me."

"We can be."

"But I asked about you."

I'm probably full on whining now, but I can't help it. I really don't want to talk about myself. What is there to tell that he hasn't read in the pages of Surf Magazine? I've been traveling pretty much non-stop since I graduated from college; I took any job they gave me, no matter where it was.

No matter how big or small the competition, or the gig, I took it, because traveling meant being busy, and being busy meant not having to think. For years I told myself that not staying in one place for too long meant never having to explain that I had somehow become an emotional cripple. I'd tried a few odd times, but had never been able to give my heart to anyone because I'd left it with a man in California who I never, ever pictured would want to talk to me again.

"And I asked about you," Edward pushes.

"Uh, uh," I argue, miming the zipping of my lips.

"Difficult," Edward coughs.

A few seconds pass as I try to think of something to say, some way to answer him. I don't know what he wants because the truth is pitiful.

No, I wasn't happy. I'm not happy.

Truth is, there's only so much one person can take before they start to become a little crazy being by themselves all the time. I liked going to all those places, liked seeing new things and meeting new people, but I got tired of being alone all the time. Never having a place to really call home was emotionally draining.

I got tired of being independent and what I craved, more than anything, was a family; friends; a home and a job that allowed me to stay in one place.

I needed roots. I wanted roots.

"I quit my job," I say, and then I slap my hand over my mouth.

"What?" Edward asks, a smile ghosting across his cheeks. I think he knows I didn't mean to say that.

"I didn't mean to tell you that," I admit with my hand still covering my lips. It comes out all muffled.

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do."

"I'm moving back to Santa Cruz." I smack my forehead. What the hell is going on with me?

Edward is quiet for several seconds, and then asks in a quiet voice, "You are?"

I nod, but I can't look at him. My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it down to my toes.

"When?"

I don't answer him, and he comes closer. One hand reaches out and touches my arm.

"Bella?"

"My father's new house closes on May tenth, I'm supposed to stay with him for a little bit," I say, looking at his fingers on my thinly covered skin.

We're both quiet then, and I don't know what else to say. I don't know where this leaves us… or where it could possibly take us.

"Bella?" Edward whispers my name this time, and I finally look at him. I have to.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Would you have come to see me?"

I look away, staring out at the water as I think of all the times I've imagined myself back in Santa Cruz. There have been a thousand ways I've pictured myself walking into CC Surf & Skate to see him again after so many years: conversations I made up in my head, reactions I'd tried to piece together from previous knowledge of the way his face looked when he was surprised, or happy, or mad.

I'd been thinking about this for some time, only finally putting an end to my up and down, all around worries a few weeks prior. My life wasn't as fulfilling as I'd once dreamed, and I'd known for weeks I was ready to face up to my mistake from all those years ago, be the outcome a joyful reunion or just a cleansing of my soul. I'd picked a place out, told my boss I was leaving, and took a much needed vacation, not knowing at the time it would push me to show my cards earlier than I planned.

Honestly, there was only one answer to his question: as scared as I had been of coming face-to-face with him again, I was more scared of having to live the rest of my life without ever seeing him again.

"Yes."

Um, so I have all the chapters back… and edited… expect more tonight.

Thank you all so much for reading and to those of you who take the time to review or tweet or just chat on FB or EV or wherever. I seriously read everything. It really means so much to me. NEGL, I'm probably going to spend all day crying tomorrow without you guys.

Reviews are love.

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