Author's Notes: In this chapter, we have fallout from Jack's bombshell, Carlyon does and says things that he regrets, Rex demonstrates there's more to him than bluster, and Sophia tries to come to terms with her new reality. And I have another job interview (the third of three in the last two weeks) on Monday; so hopefully, I'll be among the gainfully employed very, VERY soon!
Chapter One
Sweet Child of Mine
Her daughter? This was her daughter? Even as Jack sped forward to catch the dark-haired woman before she hit the ground, Sophia Tregarth's mind was spinning with what she just learned. It was the waning months of 2011. . .which meant she lost another thirty years of her daughters' lives. All three of them: Priscilla, Octavia and Natalie. She knew Natalie was a mother now, but what about Priscilla and Octavia? And why did Jack need to introduce them? It was as if Natalie didn't know that Sophia was her mother! That didn't matter right now . . . what mattered now was taking care of her little girl, even if she wasn't sure how she could do that with atrophied muscles.
She gave thanks that Jack's reflexes were as quick as ever, catching Sophia's youngest child under her arms and gently lowering her to the ground. Jack said over his shoulder, "It's good to see you, Sophia, I'll get to you in just a minute." Sophia was having none of that. Instead, she slid out of the chair until she was on the ground, and held her arms out to Jack. He looked from the unconscious young woman to Sophia, and then nodded, shifting Natalie into Sophia's arms. Her muscles weren't as atrophied as she feared, just weak. And it didn't matter, because she was holding her daughter again. Sophia closed her eyes, savoring that sensation and the feel of her daughter's hair against her skin. To her, it was just yesterday when she last held her daughter, but she missed out on so much!
"We'll be all right, Jack, if you could get the others?" Sophia asked, the strength in her arms rapidly giving way. But she kept her child's head in her lap, and leaned against the cryo-unit that kept her alive for so many years. Jack nodded and straightened up to depart, but not before she saw the shadows in his eyes. Thirty-five years. . .Sophia knew that terrible things happened to her friend in the past. She remembered holding him through some of the nightmares that resulted from those occurrences. If Jack hadn't changed too much, she likely wouldn't find out what new things her friend endured until she heard one of his nightmares. That was fine. She could wait. It wasn't about her, it was about him.
Sophia glanced at his retreating back, before returning her attention to her child, her Natalie. Who raised her, while Sophia was in stasis? Who dried her tears when she skinned her knee or when her heart was broken for the first time? Before Jack came in search of the woman he inadvertently upset with his teasing, Natalie told her that she had a five year old daughter Ailsa, whom she adopted after the little girl's birth mother died in childbirth. She mentioned no husband (or female companion, for that matter), so evidently, she was still single. Foolish people. Maybe that was a mother's bias, but Sophia didn't think so.
As Sophia pondered the years she lost, there was a commotion in the hall, and a slim woman in her late fifties or early sixties barreled into the room. Sophia looked up, taking note of the long, dark blonde hair and brown eyes. . .eyes that widened when she saw Sophia looking up at her. She breathed, "Mama?" Sophia felt a rather large lump take up residence in her throat. Simple arithmetic told her that her oldest daughter Priscilla would be fifty-nine or sixty now. . .and Priscilla's hair was always a light brown that sometimes lightened to dark blonde when she spent a great deal of time in the sun. The woman verified this when she fell to her knees and scooted across the floor to Sophia and Natalie, whispering, "Mama, it's me, it's Priscilla!"
Sophia didn't have the strength to reach out to her daughter, but when Priscilla's arms encircled her, she allowed her head to rest on her firstborn's shoulder. It was the closest she could come to giving her daughter the hug she so desperately wanted. She whispered, "I can't hold you yet, my 'Cilla, but I will soon, I promise. 'Cilla, why was Natalie so shocked when Jack told her that I'm her mother. . .why did he say that he shouldn't have been the one who told her?" Priscilla's arms tightened around Sophia when the old nickname was used. That was the one thing she never liked about her first daughter's name, as beautiful as it was. . .the only two nicknames were 'Prissy' (not a chance in hell) and 'Cilla,' which was only marginally better.
"That's a long story, Mama, but we've got time, now that you're back," a new voice stated. Sophia looked up to see a stocky brunette in her late forties or early fifties framed in the doorway. Natalie was in her lap, Priscilla was draped around her like a human necklace, so that meant this was. . . The newcomer smiled sadly and said, "Yes, Mama, it's me, it's Octavia." For the second time in the last few minutes, Sophia tried to raise her hand to reach out to her daughter; and for the second time, her strength failed her. But Octavia saw the hand motion and came over to the small group, sinking to her knees beside her mother and sisters, embracing them all. Octavia buried her face in Sophia's hair, murmuring, "Not what you were expecting, I know, but I injured my back several years ago, and nature took its course."
"You are beautiful to me, Octavia, and you will always be my little girl. All three of you will always be my little girls," Sophia rasped out, wishing she could hold her girls properly. Her eyes blurred and she realized tears were rolling down her cheeks. Jack stood in the doorway and smiled sadly. His eyes dropped to Natalie, and Sophia asked, "Can you get Natalie, Jack? I don't want her to wake up on the floor, can you at least find someplace comfortable for her?"
"What about you, Mama?" Octavia asked and Sophia just smiled at her middle child. At least her facial muscles were still working. She would take what she could get right now. Tavia frowned thoughtfully, and then her face brightened almost comically, as it always did when she was little and something occurred to her. This was borne out a moment later when Octavia exclaimed, "Oh, I know what! Jack, you take Natalie, and I'll go get sexy Rexy. . .he can carry Mama into the living room!" Sexy. . .Rexy? Did she really want to know about that? Sophia's concern was compounded when her oldest daughter groaned and dropped her face into her hands.
"Tell you what. . .you three work out who is going to carry Sophia. I'll put Nat in the spare bedroom. Sophy, in case you're wondering. . .you're still in Oklahoma and Carlyon is with a neighbor, discussing the Rift. Explanations about that can wait until later," Jack said, scooping Natalie into his arms and cradling her carefully against his chest. Rift? Oklahoma? Since when? Never mind that. Jack backed up, adding over his shoulder, "Octavia, Priscilla. . .don't tire your mother out!" And then, he carried her youngest daughter from the room, that damn coat of his billowing behind him. He always did know how to make entrances and exits. Some things never changed.
TWTWTWTWTWTW
"Jack? Did you find Nat. . .oh my. Is she all right?" Esther Drummond asked as her immediate boss and friend (and whatever else they were to each other) carried the limp body of Natalie Tregarth from the small room where her grandmother's cryo unit was kept for the last thirty plus years. He looked heroic, damn sexy, and more than a touch pissed off. However, she scrambled to her feet and followed him to the spare bedroom that she and Natalie shared with Ailsa on Esther's first night with the Tregarths.
"Sophia is awake, and I got to be the lucky idiot who broke the news to Natalie that. . . Well, you'll find out soon enough anyhow. Natalie is not Carlyon and Sophia's granddaughter. She is their daughter, Priscilla and Octavia's sister," Jack replied grimly as he oh-so-carefully settled Natalie in the bed. Sister? Daughter? Esther almost literally reeled back from the revelation. She knew that Natalie hadn't been eating or sleeping well lately, ever since their encounter with the Rift Guardians, and she was still struggling through the aftereffects of her months of undercover work.
Add to that, her recent argument with Jack, and maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise that Natalie's already exhausted body and mind had enough. Esther asked, "Are Priscilla and Octavia with their mother?" Jack nodded and Esther continued, "Okay, I'll ask one of the guys to go help with Mrs. Tregarth, and I'll put some food together for Natalie. She really hasn't been eating well lately." A ghost of a smile crossed Jack's face, but his overall expression remained troubled. Esther put her hand on his shoulder, saying softly, "She's exhausted and not thinking clearly. She knows you were just teasing her."
"Oh, I know. That's actually the least of our worries right now," Jack replied. Esther frowned and Jack dipped his head to kiss her knuckles. Her mouth went dry at the soft kiss, but she forced herself to focus on what Jack was saying. He went on, "Natalie will need you, Esther, she'll need you to be her friend and keep her on track. Carlyon, Octavia and Priscilla will all be focused on Sophia, which is understandable. But Natalie has had a nasty shock. For all these years, she has believed that Adriane was her sister and Priscilla was her mother, and now, everything she thought she knew about her family has been turned upside down and inside out. She'll be mortified by what she perceives as weakness, so don't let her shut you out."
"What about you, Jack?" Esther asked softly, "what will you be doing?" He offered her a mega-watt grin that never quite reached his eyes. She shuddered. Esther didn't fear him, but sometimes, she did fear for him. This was one of those times. Over the last few weeks, she heard frequent references to the years that Carlyon Tregarth was the director of Torchwood Cardiff. It would seem that some accounts were past due, and that was what Jack would be doing. Maybe not right away, since Mrs. Tregarth only just woke up, but this reckoning was long past overdue.
"I have some things I need to do downstairs. The last time we assembled in our base, I noticed some oddities. Sophia needs time alone with her husband and older daughter, Natalie needs someone to listen to her and not judge, and I need to make sure that everything is running properly. Esther, I'll explain more later, I promise. But right now, I need you to do two things: take care of Natalie and trust me," Jack told her. Esther thought of the Colasanto compound and things spiraling out of control, and she nodded. Jack kissed her knuckles again and said softly, "I'll be back later."
"I'll wait until Natalie wakes up before I get that food for her. I don't think she should wake up alone," Esther observed and Jack smiled as he rose to his full height. Esther took his place at Natalie's side, even as he brushed his fingertips over their friend's dark hair. Not for the first time, Esther wondered who else got to see this gentle, quiet side of Jack. It made her feel privileged that she was permitted to see this Jack, and all the more determined to stay loyal to him, to be worthy of the trust he showed in her.
"Good. Thank you, Esther," Jack replied and brushed his knuckles against Esther's cheek, before quietly leaving the room. Esther touched her cheek almost self-consciously, before turning her attention back to her still-unconscious friend. Well, wasn't this a turnaround? Just a few weeks earlier, it was Natalie who was quietly supporting Esther, who was still recovering from her long months of captivity and being bedridden. Now the shoe was on the other foot. She faced the twin challenges of looking after Natalie and helping her come to terms with these newest revelations. The first part would be far easier than the second. What, exactly, did you say to someone who just found out that everything she thought she knew about her family was untrue?
Really, there was nothing she could say. And one thing she learned from Jack: sometimes words were greatly overrated. More to the point, all the words in the world meant nothing without actions to back them up. Jack. Esther sighed quietly as she mused about the (as Octavia put it) painfully gorgeous immortal. She was attracted to him, of course, even before they spent those two months together. He was her sanctuary when Rex lost patience with her lack of experience (and lack of judgment), he believed in her, he listened to her, and he cared for her. And she knew he wasn't comfortable with trying to define what they were, aside from friends. That didn't stop her from trying to find the words within her mind, if only to answer her sister's inevitable questions when she could finally tell Sarah that she really was alive.
And that made her uncomfortable as well. Oh, not the idea of telling her sister that she was alive, and seeing the girls again. No, it was the fact of lying to her sister, even lies of omission. Not for the first time, she wondered if that meant she should leave Torchwood. She thought about Natalie, believing for so many years that her sisters were her mother and her aunt, her father was her grandfather, that her niece and nephews were her sister and her cousins. The only thing true about the family was that they loved her, regardless of what they called her and each other. Esther smiled in spite of herself. Maybe that was all she needed to tell Sarah, once the truth could be told: that she loved Jack. Was it a forever-kind-of-love? Esther smiled ruefully. Well, 'forever' was kind of a dicey term with Jack. His forever would truly be eternal.
Natalie began to stir, drawing Esther's attention away from that line of thought, and the blonde girl rested her hand on Nat's shoulder as the older woman opened her eyes. There was a moment of sleepy recognition, followed by confusion, and finally, Natalie whispered, "Did I dream it? Did you know about this from the start?" Esther didn't bother asking what she meant, choosing to shake her head. It was a 'no' to both questions, and Natalie whispered, "I can't imagine how stupid Jack must think I am. Pathetic little weakling, faints at a little surprise."
"You're not pathetic, weak, or stupid, Natalie. Well, you're only stupid if you think no one has noticed that you've not been eating or sleeping. That shock you just got, that was just the finale. Your body has been taxed over the last few weeks, and it got too stressed out," Esther replied. Natalie didn't look convinced, but she tended to be stubborn that way. After a moment, Esther continued, "Will you be okay while I go get you some food? And yes, you need to eat. I know you're not hungry, but Ailsa needs you to keep your strength up." That earned her a particularly dirty look, but Natalie bobbed her head. Esther squeezed her friend's shoulder, adding, "Then I'll be right back. If you're conscious, you can complain about my dirty tricks all you want."
"Don't tempt me," was the dry response. Esther just smirked at her friend, squeezed her hand lightly, and then left the room, already planning out what she would get Natalie to eat. Something light, maybe crackers, lunch meat and cheese? That would be a good start, she decided. Start small, work our way up to pizza or something along those lines, Esther realized, that would be the best bet. And if she saw Rex or the boys, she'd send them into the cryo room. Esther was bedridden for months, while Sophia Tregarth was in a cryo unit for years. She would need help to get around.
TWTWTWTWTWTW
Jack wasn't entirely honest with Esther (and it wouldn't have surprised him at all if she didn't figure that out on her own. She had a habit of doing that). There was an anomaly he wanted to check out; namely, a file that he didn't have access to in the Torchwood computers. It was a wav file, a sound byte of some kind, and it was big. Ordinarily, he would leave it alone, but this one literally had his name on it, and ran about eight hours. And that worried Jack. That worried him a lot. And the date didn't tell him anything, because Carlyon had his own way of marking the date, something that he never shared with Jack. No amount of persuasion on Jack's part could induce him to share that information, and Jack could be very persuasive when he wanted to be.
After multiple attempts to access the file in question, Jack switched his attention to the other item that drew him downstairs, and away from the ongoing family drama: a wheelchair for Sophia while her strength returned. Jack supposed he could have pushed the responsibility for telling Natalie the truth over to someone else, but he saw the wheels turning in her head when Sophia mentioned the name of her youngest daughter. It was either tell her or let things fester. He expected her to scream at him, to blame him for the secrets her parents kept from her (that her father kept from her); the last thing he expected was for her to faint. But, as Esther said, Nat wasn't resting or eating properly, and then with their argument today. . .
It wasn't really an argument. Or a disagreement, or anything of that nature. More like, him speaking without thinking and Natalie's frustration igniting. Jack knew that she regretted the words as soon as they were out. They weren't unkind words, simply words born of exhaustion and frustration. More to the point, she regretted 'over-reacting.' According to Esther, who witnessed most of the confrontation, Nat knew he was teasing her. But at that particular moment in time, she wasn't up for teasing. Something Jack should have realized, and backed off before he pushed her too far, and it was something he would have to remember for future reference.
For future reference. Jack could only shake his head in amazement at the turn his life took in recent weeks. When he came back to Earth at the onset of Miracle Day, he was only looking to protect the Williams family. Starting up Torchwood again wasn't something he really considered, but that choice was taken from him by the Families. Even on the run, he still had access to resources, thanks to Torchwood. And now, here they were, nearly six months later. Torchwood was up and running, with six new members. Torchwood Cardiff had always been small, much smaller than Torchwood London and even Torchwood Edinburgh. But the fledgling Torchwood South was nearly twice the size Torchwood Cardiff was at full strength.
As Carlyon promised, his old friend took care of the figurehead duties, dealing with UNIT and the CIA (the latter of which was not happy with Torchwood for recruiting Rex, especially given the loss of Director Shapiro), while Jack was the preferred contact for the Crown. And they talked. They talked a lot. Carlyon wistfully reminisced about the often mind-blowing threesomes they had before Sophia's illness, and his concerns about what would happen when she awakened. So many things changed over the years-especially Carlyon himself. Jack observed they could find a new way, the three of them together, but Carlyon dryly countered that he was eighty-nine years old, with a weakening heart, and he really didn't want to traumatize his wife so soon after her awakening by dying after sex. Jack briefly considered pointing out to his old friend that he was now over two thousand years old, but he didn't want to get into that debate again.
And now, Sophia was awake. Jack was glad she was awake and alert and reunited with her daughters, but he couldn't help being aggravated with Carlyon. They knew it was getting close to when Sophia woke up, there should have been procedures in place to deal with her awakening. Jack often flew by the seat of his pants, but this was way too important. Technically speaking, Natalie should have followed certain steps when she freed her mother, but that information wasn't made available to her, and she could only act according to her instincts. And if Carlyon's guilt led him to lash out at his youngest child, well, Jack would just have to remind him of a few incidents from Carlyon's youth. It was one thing to chastise someone if they knew better, but a situation like this? And unfortunately, Carlyon sometimes lashed out at people because of his own guilt.
As he carried the wheelchair back up into the bunkhouse, he had to admit that Carlyon wasn't the only one with that habit. He knew a lot of people who reacted that way to guilt (himself included, on occasion). Jack was nearly to the house when he noticed something that wasn't there when he went out. Namely, Adriane's car was in the driveway, which meant that she and Carlyon were back from the Hallorans. And if he didn't know already, Carlyon would shortly discover that his wife was awake and his daughter knew some of the truth. This. . .could get ugly. Jack steeled himself, hearing the raised voices inside the house before he even reached the door. His worst fears were realized when he heard Carlyon bellowing, "You foolish, foolish girl, do you have ANY idea of what you've done!"
There were fierce protests from both Rex and Esther. Knowing the former analyst, she probably placed herself between Carlyon and Natalie protectively, hands on hips and eyes blazing with fury. Jack allowed himself a brief smile as the picture arranged itself in his imagination, a smile that died away when he heard Natalie's voice cut through Rex and Esther's, "I saw a terrified woman trapped inside an iron coffin and there were no instructions, so all I had were my hands and my own instincts. Forgive me if my first priority was alleviating her terror, rather than following protocol, Grandfather. Or maybe I should call you 'Father,' since that is, after all, what you are!"
Dammit. Jack wasted no more time stalling and opened the door, dropping the wheelchair on the hardwood floor: not hard enough to knock any gears loose, but hard enough to get people's attention. And it was a good thing, because the argument between Carlyon and his youngest child was taking place in the front room . . . so everyone heard it, not just the combatants. Then again, the entire family except Ailsa (thank whatever deity you believed in for that) was gathered in the front room. . .Octavia and Priscilla flanking their mother protectively, each daughter holding Sophia's hand as they sat on the davenport/sofa/couch/whatever-the-hell-people-called-it-in-this-part-of-the-country. The three oldest grandchildren were watching in horror as everything they thought they knew about this family was turned upside down. As all eyes turned to him, Jack said in a deceptively calm voice, "You might want to back off, Carlyon."
"And what gives you the right to interfere in my family, Harkness?" the other man spat. Jack responded with a humorless smile, disregarding the gasps of horror from Octavia and Priscilla, as well as the hiss of outrage from Sophia. Instead, he allowed his eyes to sweep over the tableau. At some point, Rex and Esther were actually standing in front of Natalie, to protect her from her father's guilty rage, but she pushed through. Now she stood before Carlyon, small hands clenched into fists at her sides, and twin spots of red staining her normally-pale cheeks. Rex didn't look happy that she left his protection, but stood behind her resolutely, his hand at the small of her back, while Esther's right hand was curled around Natalie's corresponding shoulder.
"What gives me the right to interfere in your family? I don't think you want to have that discussion right now, Carlyon, so I'll remind you of certain things. I know better than anyone else in this room about regrets, about chances missed, and about things that can't be unsaid. I know what it's like to not have a chance to say 'good-bye' or 'I love you' or things that someone needs to hear. I know about sobbing my guts out and wishing with my entire being that I could take back harsh words that should have never been said and were undeserved. That's what gives me the right, Carlyon, among other things," Jack replied, folding his arms over his chest and staring steadily at the other man.
The two men stared at each other, forty-five years of secrets and grief and guilt and pain between them. The silence was heavy, but Jack didn't break it. The ball was in his old friend's court right now. He had to make the next move. After a moment of Jack's steady gaze, Carlyon replied almost pleadingly, "The shock could have killed Sophia, Jack. After everything she's been through, after everything we did to save her, Natalie could have killed her mother because she didn't follow procedure!" Oh, well done, Carlyon, Jack thought sourly, not daring to look at the girl in question, haven't you traumatized the poor child enough for one day?
Natalie's gasp was overridden by Sophia's retort, "And if she hadn't opened the cryo unit, Carlyon, I most likely would have hyperventilated and ended up giving myself heart failure or at the very least, it would have raised my blood pressure, which could have also killed me. Further, you failed to leave instructions about what my sitter should do if I awakened while you were away. It was six of one, half-dozen of the other, and I for one am grateful to Natalie. She prevented me from hyperventilating and acted immediately to warm me up, using good sense. And as to your foolish question about Jack having the right to interfere in our family, I can't think of anyone who has more right, especially since it was he who caught our baby when she fainted! And I still don't know why the poor girl was so shocked to find out that she's my daughter!"
"It's because she's believed for the last thirty-five years that you're her grandmother, rather than her mother, Mama. I . . . I've raised Natalie as my own child. It was selfish, but I just lost my own child and I couldn't bring myself to correct Natalie when she called me 'mama.' None of us wanted her to find out like this, but we thought we would have more time before you awoke," Priscilla said numbly. Sophia swallowed hard and leaned her head against her oldest daughter's shoulder. For her own part, Octavia tightened her hand around her mother's and reached out with her free hand to squeeze her older sister's shoulder. Priscilla continued, "Mama's right, Dad. Blaming Natalie for this is just plain wrong. And blaming Jack for telling Nat the truth when she was already starting to put things together is just as wrong. It wasn't his responsibility, but he did it anyhow, because it was far kinder than brushing her off."
Carlyon closed his eyes and seemed to shrink in on himself. When he opened his eyes once more, he reached out, as if to touch Natalie, but Rex immediately pushed his way between the two once more. He said not a word (kind of unusual for Rex), but his expression warned that anyone who wanted to mess with Natalie would have to go through him. Jack smiled quietly, but noticed that Natalie's complexion was currently the same shade as sour milk, and said, "Esther, can you help Nat to her room? She's looking a bit wobbly on her feet."
"I'm on it, Jack. C'mon, sweetheart, let's get you back to bed. You still haven't recovered from your first shock, so the first thing you're going to do is finish the food I brought up for you and the second thing is rest properly. I promise I'll check on Ailsa, make sure that all the shouting didn't interrupt her nap. Jack, when I come back down, I've got some things I need to show you, things I think would be a big help for our field ops," Esther replied, guiding Natalie upstairs to her room. The older woman was listing, and truthfully, the pair actually supported each other. Jack bit back a smile at Esther's fussing, because he was so familiar with it himself.
Once the two women were at the top of the stairs, the immortal turned to Carlyon, adding in a neutral tone, "Since I'm not part of this family, I'm taking my anticipated second in command and heading out to the Rift. Sophia, I'll see you in a few hours. C'mon, Rex." As the former agent joined him at the door, Jack murmured, "On days like these, I can understand why the Doctor never did domestic." Rex nodded emphatically and Jack added, "And while we're on our way to the Rift, you can tell me when you became so protective of Nat."
"I just don't like bullies, Jack, you know that. And he was acting like a schoolyard bully, looming over her. 'Sides, she really didn't deserve that. You've known all along that Natalie was the youngest daughter, rather than the oldest granddaughter?" Rex asked as they headed out to the ATV's. Jack nodded and Rex mused, "That explains a lot. I've noticed in the last two weeks that Esther was never far from Natalie's side. I figure you told Esther that something big was coming, and she decided to stick close to take care of Natalie, especially since Natalie took care of her during those months when she was a captive of the Families."
"Got it in one. I'll explain everything once we get to the Rift. I want to make sure nothing has come through while we work out the bugs in the new system," Jack replied. Rex nodded. Curiously, his expression held only acceptance. Interesting. Very interesting. However, he said only, "I have known since the first day, but telling her should have been Carlyon's responsibility, if only because he knew more of the story than I did. And I wasn't about to tell anyone else while Natalie didn't know."
"Damn, World War II. . .just when I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me!" Rex answered, shaking his head. Jack smirked at the other man and Rex rolled his eyes, putting on his helmet, muttering under his breath. Jack couldn't make out much of what he said, but he could make a pretty good bet. He simply laughed, put on his own helmet, and revved up the ATV. They had a Rift to check on, and he would leave the mending of the Tregarth family to Carlyon and Sophia. They were the best qualified to do it, when all was said and done.
TBC