Disclaimer: I own everything but their names.
April 17, 2011 – Honolulu, Hawaii
"Fancy meeting you here."
I look up from my chair, my heart already beating a little funny as I take in the copper colored hair and dark brown skin that's still so familiar to me. Though it's easier now to deal with seeing him again, it's hard not to squirm with discomfort as he smiles down at me.
"Likewise," I reply with a nod of my head and a smile of my own as I stand up from my chair. From behind Edward, Lisle waves at me and I wave back.
"Guess what, Bella? Dad's taking me snorkeling!" Lisle says, saving us both from any awkward silences..
I can tell he's excited by the way his eyes brighten and his cheeks get all pink. His happiness is so infectious my smile quickly shifts into a grin.
"Oh yeah? Where?" I ask as my eyes dart back and forth between the two of them.
"Hanauma Bay," Edward answers, shifting from foot to foot.
"Oh, you're gonna love it!"
He nods. "That's what I've heard."
"You should go to the grocery store and get some frozen peas first," I tell Lisle. He gags and Edward looks puzzled. I laugh and reach out to ruffle Lisle's hair. "They're not for you to eat. They're for the fish."
They both continue staring at me like I'm crazy.
"Just trust me," I say.
"Can we go get some, Dad?" Lisle bounces up on his toes and Edward nods with a laugh.
It gets quiet, and this awkward feeling surfaces in the pit of my stomach as we stand there for what feels like hours. I'm avoiding Edward's eyes, and wow… look at that painting, is she… oh, yep, she's naked. A throat clears and I snap out of it. I finally look up.
"So… What are you up to today?" Edward asks.
I'm not sure I want to admit that I have no plans except to curl up in my hotel room with my book… or maybe watch some bad television.
"Um, I was just going to hang out here today… you know, read a book or something." It's then that I realize I'm keeping them from their trip. "You guys have fun."
I take a step back and start to wave when Lisle speaks up.
"Who wants to spend their day reading?" he asks with a sour look on his face. "You should totally come with us."
I shake my head immediately and hold up my hands. "No, no… I don't think—" But then I stop, because I honestly don't know what I think. This whole situation is just… strange. I mean, I would love to go with them. The question is, should I? Is this weird?
This should be weird, right?
Of course I've expected it to be weird from the first moment we saw each other in Kai's shop, but nothing that's happened this week has been at all like I expected. It's been easy, and for lack of a better description: nice. It's been really nice. Maybe…
Edward's free hand buries itself in his hair, and I can tell Lisle's invitation has made him nervous, too. What I wish I knew was if he's nervous because he wants me to agree to come, or nervous because he's been put in the position of having to let me come if I agree.
"Aw, come on Bella," Lisle says. "It'll be way funner than reading a stupid book, I swear. Dad, she can come with us, right?"
Edward snaps out of his hair fingering trance and looks back and forth between Lisle and me. He still looks a little nervous.
"Of course, yeah, you should come." He shrugs and buries his hand in his pocket.
And I hate that he's not easier to read right now. I don't know what he wants.
"I'll just hold you guys up, I don't even have my suit on or anything." I gesture to myself and try to step away again, but it's Edward who stops me this time.
"It's cool; we'll run to the store and get some peas while you get ready. We can meet you back here in, like, a half hour?" he offers.
His eyes are bright and so, so much prettier than I remember. Looking into them, seeing now that there's eagerness and perhaps even a little bit of fear, makes me feel like I can't say no. Which is good, because the last thing I want is to say no to him. But I also don't want to appear overeager. This is just… so much to handle, seeing him, being with him and trying to comprehend the fact that maybe he wants to spend time with me too.
He wouldn't have offered if he didn't, right?
So I nod, agreeing to tag along. His answering smile makes my insides all warm and happy. And there may just be some whistling while I rush back upstairs to change and grab my things.
I don't think I've been this excited in years.
When the guys pick me up in front of our hotel, Lisle quickly shows me that he has four bags of frozen peas. I can't help laughing because he's in for a surprise when he dumps those into the ocean.
I really hope he isn't afraid of fish.
As he chatters away, I'm struck once again with just how normal and easy this feels. For all the places I've visited throughout the world – in this car, with Edward and Lisle is the most at home I've felt in a long, long time.
As usual, Hanauma Bay is crowded. Every time I've been here the beach is always full, the bay overflowing with kids and families here, there and everywhere. It's a gorgeous spot, though, so I can see why. The water is a clear turquoise blue, and shows off the reef that hides just below the surface.
After much (failed) arguing on my part, Edward pays our admission, and once we've got our snorkel gear, we head down the beach to find a spot for the day.
"I'm buying lunch," I insist, still pouting a tiny bit.
Edward rolls his eyes. "Difficult."
"I'll show you difficult," I mutter under my breath. He just laughs.
Once our towels are spread out and the boys start removing their shoes and shirts to go about getting all sunscreened up, I realize I'm dilly-dallying a little. I opted for a pair of board shorts with my purple bikini today, and for some reason, I'm still nervous about Edward seeing me in so little clothing.
It's not dark right now, and I mean, I realize he's seen me without any clothes before… but that was a long time ago. I was younger, perkier and skinnier then. I have curves now, and my body isn't quite as tight as it used to be. It's especially hard not to feel self-conscious after looking at him in his black board shorts. They still hang low on his narrow waist to show off that tiny strip of white that's underneath.
Unconsciously, I lick my lips as I watch his hands rub sunscreen across his chest. The muscles in his arms tighten and flex and God, time has been really good to him.
Edward looks up and catches me staring, and I look away quickly even though I know I've been caught.
"Did you need some sunscreen?" he asks, and I can almost hear the smirk in his voice.
"I put some on when I went upstairs to change," I explain, my hands a little flaily. When I chance a look at him from the corner of my eye, I can see he's looking, too, and I hope he appreciates that I remember what purple does to him.
It always was his favorite…
Seconds later, Lisle's suited up with flippers, a snorkel mask and the tube hanging out of his lips. He has the bags of peas in his arms and he's bouncing a little. A laugh snaps out of me at the sight of him, and he grins around the plastic in his mouth like a kid with an orange peel.
"You are such a dork," Edward tells him, laughing too.
"Come on, Dad!" Lisle says, his voice all nasally. I bend over and grab my own mask and tube.
We're both still snickering as we follow an exuberant Lisle into the ocean. The water is warm and the sun is high. It's a perfect afternoon.
Lisle immediately dips his face into the water, not conscious of the fact that the tube only goes so far before he can't breathe through it anymore. He comes up coughing and sputtering.
"Salty," he coughs out, spitting dramatically.
"You're not very good at this," I tell him.
"Hey, it's my first time! We can't do this back home!"
I smile, but there's a twist in my chest that reminds me of how many first times I've missed with this boy. I'm thankful that if I never get to see another, at least I have one to count as my very own.
We go about waist deep and I hold my hand out for one of the bags of peas. Lisle and Edward are close, watching me. I tell Lisle to stay where he is and step back a little; Edward follows me. I tear open the bag of peas and grab a handful before looking back up at Lisle.
"You ready?" He nods excitedly. I lift my arm in the air and start to launch the peas in his direction. "Watch the water," I look over and tell Edward. He's not watching his son, though. He's watching me intently, a little smirky-smile pulling one of his cheeks higher.
My tummy flutters, and as much as I don't want him to look away I still clear my throat and point to Lisle. Edward blinks slowly and straightens up, turning his head quickly in the other direction as I let my handful of peas go.
As they rain down on the water, the fish appear. One…two…ten…twenty, until it seems like there are a hundred. Lisle screams and his mouth stays open as they swim around him, fighting for the peas in the water.
"More! More!" he insists. "Oh my gosh they tickle!"
I throw another handful, and he screams again. He looks happy and he's smiling, and so am I. It's always been hard not to smile around this kid.
Edward joins in and grabs some peas of his own, surprising me when, instead of throwing them at Lisle, he drops them in front of me. The fish swim up quickly, swirling around me, brushing my skin as they fight for a taste of the frozen goods in the water. Edward laughs as I lift my arms and hold still.
"Payback is a bitch," I whisper, grinning.
His eyes widen and he laughs again. "They're just fish!"
"Oh yeah?" I pull out a handful and toss them in his direction. He squeals like a girl and splashes to get away while both Lisle and I are laughing so hard we're in tears.
"You are so dead." He dives into the water and heads straight for me. And it's so not fair, because he's bigger and faster and stronger. As fast as I'm trying to move, he still catches me, grabbing my hips and pulling me back against his chest.
"Gotcha," he says, warm breath in my ear and strong hands holding me in place. My eyes close as I breathe in and out, fighting the urge my body has to melt into him. Instead, I stiffen, all too conscious of the fact that we're in public and Lisle is here.
And we're not ready for this.
As if sensing my change in posture, Edward lets me go and takes a step back. "Sorry."
"It's okay… I just—"
"You don't have to explain; I get it." His face falls and I want nothing more than to bring back the happy, smiling, playful Edward of just minutes before.
"Dad!" Lisle calls out, drawing Edward's attention away from me.
The moment is gone but definitely not forgotten.
We both spend the rest of the afternoon with our attention focused on Lisle and his excitement over the fish. We're avoiding again, but I know now that it's time to talk about this. About us. About what happened.
About where we go from here… because even if we can't be together, there's no question after today that I want him in my life. I want them both in my life.
These two have never been quick about anything, have they? We have one regular full-length chapter left, and I'll post it after I get home. Epilogue will follow shortly after. That is, if I don't re-write it like I did this one. All mistakes are mine if you find one, because I am compulsive and cannot leave shit alone. Also, the pea trick? Totally true. Try it sometime.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words, I appreciate them more than you know. And I really needed them today.
Reviews are love.
xx